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I’ve learned lot of things in whole week being in Finland since I got here. Have to admit that it’s very beautiful here Christmas time. Christmas lights everywhere. Snow falls down sometimes. Today’s the Christmas day and Mary has told me what she usually does in Christmas day. In the mornings her mom used to make Christmas porridge as she calls it. Mixed with Plum fruit soup what was absolutely delicious. After that Mary let Brie open few presents and oh boy she was happy. Mike was too young to understand anything that happened, but he did get some presents. In Finland they open the presents December 24th not in 25th like we do in States. It’s odd to me, but I like it that I get her present earlier than usually.

Now we were heading to cemetery to lit candle(s) to her mother and maybe to my mom also. People didn’t recognize me yet in here what is actually very good. Cold weather still sucks as hell, but I’m getting used to it. In our apartment, well actually Mary’s apartment, we only have fireplace in the building. We live in the penthouse so obviously we have fireplace. Penthouse is very beautiful apartment. Apartment… Penthouse… It’s the same thing. But I really love it.

“Mommy. I’m cold.” Bridie said sadly when we walked away from cemetery back to home.
“We are almost at home, Brie. Maybe daddy could carry you?” Mary said and looked at me.
“Sure. Want piggy ride on my back?” I asked from Bridie and she nods happily.
“Hop on.” I said and lift her to carry her on my back.
“When we get home, I’m going to make some hot cocoa.” Mary said smiling when pushed stroller where Mike was sleeping peacefully.
“Sounds good, right Brie?” I asked from Bridie smiling.
“Yes. I love cocoa.” Brie said excited and humped on my back.
“Brie, stop it.” I said laughing and tried to hold her to not drop her.
“Sorry daddy.” she said and puts her hands around my neck to hold me hard.
"Not so tight sweetheart." I said and laughed.
"Sorry daddy." She said and lose her grip.

10 minutes of walking and we are home. Mary and I decided that Mike and Brie is time taking a nap. While they napping, Mary started to cook some Finnish Christmas food. Ham, turkey cause I’m not use to eat ham, carrot casserole, potato casserole, swede casserole… How many casserole foods there are?

“What?” Mary asked when I looked at casserole foods shocked.
“How many casserole foods are there?” I asked.
“Too many. I got Minced meat mashed potatoes “casserole”, meatballs, macaroni casserole to Mike and Brie. She doesn’t really like Christmas food.”
“Want some help?” I asked and hugged Mary behind when she was peeling potatoes.
“You know how to make macaroni casserole?”
“Yeah. First to boil the pasta and then do minced meat. Then what?”
“Just do those and I tell you what to do next.” She said smiling.
“Yes boss.” I said and give her smooth kiss.
“You taste like chocolate.” She said when licked her lips after the kiss.
“Yeah. I took one piece of those grossly sweet chocolate.” I said when started to help her with cooking.
“Grossly sweet?” She questioned chuckling.
“Yeah. Those…” I stopped middle of sentence and look for chocolates.
“Panda… Thingies.” I smiled.
“Confections?” She asked and I nodded.
“Haven’t you ever learned to not eat dessert before the food?” She asked.
“Yeah, but it’s Christmas.” I said.
“Seems like you like Finnish chocolate.”
“It’s good, but I like Hersey’s more.”
“Yes because those are not so grossly sweet.”
“So… What you always do after eating?” I asked for changing subject.
“We could go outside and play on snow.”
“It’s freaking cold outside.”
“I can warm you up.” She said when walked to me and put her arms around my waist.
“Sounds good. Maybe later tonight.” I said smiling and put my left hand behind her back to hold her.
“How we didn’t think to have nap also?” She asked and moved back to peeling potatoes.
“We still can. Casseroles we bought from grocery store can be warmed up in the oven, right?”
“Yeah, but I still need to make minced meat potato casserole. Brie likes it when I make it.”
“We make these and we can have quick nap.” I said smiling.
“If kids won’t wake up before that.”

When we were finished with the cooking, Bridie woke up and walked to kitchen sleepy. That means no nap for daddy and mommy. Now that Bridie is awake, she and Mary started to make some gingerbread cookies and some stars shaped pastry filled with plum jelly. And then drinking with those we had drink called Glogg. It’s a spiced, usually alcoholic, mulled wine, but we bought that wasn’t alcoholic. Glogg is hot drink and taste weird. They use carnation, ginger and cinnamon as ingredients. It was warming throat smoothly. Finland is weird with foods and drinks!

After eating, we decided to stay inside play some board games rather than go outside playing on snow. Brie liked to cheat a lot, but she’s only 5 years old. We played with her rules. It did make things funnier for her when we let her make new rules. When time is 6pm and it started to get darker, Mary went to sauna with Mike and Bridie. I decided to stay to apartment to wrap up last gifts I got to Mary. I’m about to tell her about plan our dads are planning for us when kids are sleeping. She needs some kind of heads up before we go back to states. Her dad and my dad thinks I’m about to propose to her tonight, but I’m not planning to do it. We still have many years to get there. She’s only 20 and I’m turning 30 next month. Since I got to Finland, Mary and I haven’t got any privacy to have sex or anything. We do give kisses to each other every day, but that’s just it. Maybe I’m thinking all the laws in the States. 20 year old is still under age. I was really screwed up when she was just 13 years old. She lied her age to me. Maybe that’s other reasons why I said I couldn’t marry her or having kids. Our lives been screwed in so many levels. Her lies and my lies, making mistakes, her pregnancy in age of 13-14 and my bad stupid one night stand with Nina that cost twins Susan and Michelle. I wonder mostly being in here if Nina has told them about me or not. I would truly want to get to know them. Then there’s Holly. Paris’ and mine daughter that was mistake. Holly is 6 years old. Exactly 1 year older. They have exact same birthday. Holly born March 3rd 2003 and Bridie March 3rd 2004. Life can be crazy. Even Mary doesn’t know about this. I’m going to tell her everything tonight. I was in my thoughts thinking stuff until I heard Bridie running to me all wet and naked. I laughed and make funny face.

“Hey you, baby butt.” I said chuckling and lift her to my arms.
“Mommy forgot my bath robe.” She giggled.
“Well let’s go get it then.” I said and walked with her to bathroom.

After opening rest of the presents and playing with the toys kids had, we put them on bed. Bridie was little tough to get to bed. She was still asking to stay up little bit more, but we commanded her to bed. We read her at least 3 stories before fall asleep.
Mary and I walked back to living-room and cuddling to each other on the couch. It was so quiet. No kids screaming or laughing. Only my and Mary’s breathing. I sighed deep and she noticed it.

“You okay?” She asked and turned to look at me.
“I’ve been thinking stuff that we should talk about.” I said and looked at her.
“Okay, what?” She asked.
“I don’t want to freak you out, but…” I said and moved off the couch and get to my knees front of her.
“Oh my god…” She said and looked at me shocked.
“What? Oh no… Babe… I’m not…” I said to make her understand I wasn’t proposing.
“Oh thank god. You just got to your knees and I thought…” Mary said and sighed for relived.
“Well it’s kind of about that too, but I’m not.” I explained.
“You are scaring me, Nick. What is it?” She asked.
“Your dad… My dad… They are planning wedding for us.” I said and looked to her eyes.
“Wait what?” She asked confused.
“Just listen to me. I’ll explain.” I said and looked at her.
“I have a ring.” I started and her look turned to shock.
“Just hear me out.” I begged and she just stood up.
“You have a ring? Since when?” She asked and turned to look at me.
“Since you left with Jesse.” I said honest.
“That long? Why?” She asked shocked.
“Because I was planning many times to just fly here and ask you to marry me.”
“What stopped you?” She asked.
“You. I kept thinking I would just fly here for nothing and you would just send me away.” I said and looked at her.
“So where’s the ring now?” She asked curious.
“In my room. At States. Hidden.” I said.
“Why our fathers are planning wedding then?”
“Tina saw the ring, Nina saw the ring, Hannah saw the ring…” I explained.
“Am I the only one who hadn’t seen it?” She asked.
“Some people had seen it, but not everyone. AJ kind of told everyone in the dinner table.” I said and sat to couch.
“Oh gosh… And now they think you are proposing me.” She said and sat next to me.
“Yes. I asked our fathers to not do it, but I still got the feeling they are.” I said honesty.
“What should we do?” She asked and looked at me.
“Nothing. I’m not going to propose to you. You are still 20.” I said and looked at her.
“Yeah… I’m not expecting that either.” She said and leaned to lie down on the couch.
“I’ve been thinking something else too.” I said and looked at her.
“You’ve been thinking lot of things.” She said smiling and touched my chest with her foot.
“Yeah. About us and our sex life.” I said smiling and took her foot on my hands to massage it.
“What about it?” She asked and moaned when I was massaging her foot.
“I don’t think we should have sex until you are 21.” I said and looked at her.
“Wait… No sex until I’m 21?” She asked shocked.
“Yeah… In USA 20 is still under age. I don’t want to break the law.” I said and put her feet down.
“Well we are not in USA. We are in Europe and I’m no longer under age.” She said and stood up to sit on my lap to face me.
“Mary, please… Would it be romantic?” I asked when looked to her eyes.
“We’ve been waiting 5 years and 6 months. Now you want to wait 6 more months?” She asked.
“I’ve been only thinking about the law in USA. I don’t want to break it.” I said and touched her gently.
“You are not breaking any laws while being here.” She said and put her hands behind my neck.
“But I just feel like I am. I don’t want to break it anymore.” I said and put my hands to her waist.
“Anymore? What are you talking about?” She asked.
“Well you know. You lied to me your age and I manage to get you pregnant under age. I won’t make that mistake ever again.” I said.
“I don’t regret any of it. I love my children.” She said smiling.
“And I love mine. Speaking of the children, when did Bridie born?” I asked curious.
“You know when. March 3rd.” She said and looked at me.
“Do you know when Holly born?” I asked.
“Umm… No I don’t.” She admit and thought hard.
“March 3rd.” I said quietly and she looked at me shocked.
“She did?” She questioned.
“Yeah she did. How crazy is that?” I asked smiling.
“That is crazy. I never thought of it. And now you won’t be with Holly when she turns 7.” She said worried.
“Well… I thought to send her flight tickets to here so we can celebrate it as family.”
“You are such an amazing father.” She said and looked to my eyes.
“And you are most wonderful mother.” I said and smiled to her.
“You are such a romantic, aren’t you?” She asked giggling.
“Yeah. Just trying not to make mistakes. We made lot of mistakes when I met you. I made lot of mistakes before that.”
“So you are saying you just don’t want to make no more mistakes?” She asked.
“That’s what I’m thinking.” I said smiling and touched her face gently.
“Is kissing forbidden too?” She asked smiling and leaned closer to my lips.
“I guess it doesn’t.” I said smiling to her and kissed her softly first before we deepen the kiss.