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Why?

 

Concerned washed over the older man as he glanced at his baby brother. After the episode in the hotel room, he reluctantly had placed a call to the adult care facility to speak with someone that was in charge of Nick’s care. Despite Brian and AJ’s insistance to accompany them back to SunValley, Kevin waved them off insisting that he would be able to manage Nick better on his own.

Now as they sat in the psychologist’s office, Kevin was beginning to wonder if declining Brian and AJ’s offer to come with them was such a good idea after all. The drive over there, thankfully had been uneventful. All he had told Nick was that they were going for a ride; he felt decitful with his vague answer, but he did as he had been told to do by the nurse that apparently worked for the doctor.

Kevin shuddered as he thought about Nick’s initial reactions of being led into the lobby of SunValley. The staff immediately greeted him by name as they walked through the entrance of the home. Confusion – not recognition was etched on the young man’s face as he acknowled their greetings with an air of uncertainty.  Then as they waited on the psychologist to meet with them, he seemed detached. Nick’s face eerily was void of emotion.

Dr. Ron Freeman entered the room, carrying a large file that was obviously Nick’s. He sat down behind the large desk, flipping the folder open. Staring at the man Kevin barely breathed, unsure of what to think. His gut instinct was to take Nick and get the hell out of the office. He never trusted shrinks or people that were focused on the brain. Kevin truly believed that you heal yourself. He mentally shook the thoughts from his mind. This only applied when it came to himself – he was there for Nick. Nick Carter was more of a complex person even before the accident.   

The doctor looked at Kevin and Nick as he cleared his throat. “I’m doctor Freeman,” the man announced with a broad smile.

Kevin promptly stood up and held his hand over the mohagony desk . “Kevin Richardson.” The doctor reciprocated with a firm handshake. This immediately put Kevin at ease….he thought if the man had a whimpy handshake he was definitely taking Nick away from the office. Kevin didn’t trust people with weak handshakes.

As Kevin sat back down the doctor immediately addressed him. “Mr. Richardson---“

“Please call me Kevin.”

Dr. Freeman smiled. “Okay Kevin, I assume you’re Nick’s caregiver?”

“You could say that,” Kevin replied. He glanced over at Nick to see what his reaction was to his being called ‘Nick’s caregiver.’ There appeared to be no connection to anything at that moment; Nick appeared to be in his own world.

“My nurse had informed me why you had contacted us this morning but I would like to hear from you the details please,” the doctor said as he looked over at Nick and then to Kevin.

Kevin shifted in his chair as he collected his thoughts. “We had decided to take Nick with us to spend a few days at a hotel, just the guys and Nicky,” Kevin started in his slow drawl. “At first Nick was being the usual Nicky that he had become…” he was carefully avoiding the word ’accident’ which clearly was a trigger word when Nick’s personality was growing back toward the 25 year old Nick and had sent him spiraling downwards.

Dr. Freeman was writing words onto a notepad while Kevin spoke, briefly looking up at Kevin as he spoke. “Go on,” the doctor encouraged when he noted that Kevin had stopped talking. “I’m listening.”

Taking a deep breath in, Kevin continued. “I had left to finish some business out in Los Angeles and Howie had to leave for Florida so Nick was with Brian and AJ…”

“Howie, Brian and AJ?”

“The other guys that were in the music group with Nick…Backstreet Boys,” Kevin clarified.

“Ah, yes.”

“…and during that time Nick had started doing things that was the old Nick. He had some flashbacks before, but they had been quick ones, you know, but this time he was the old Nick Cater for roughly an hour or so and then it became longer and longer. I mean when my cousin called and said Nick was Nick again I hurried back to Texas because I missed Nick so much,” Kevin said, quickly wiping the tears from his eyes before they fell.

The doctor glanced over at the box of tissues that sat on the corner of his desk. Kevin followed his eyes and quickly grabbed a couple of tissues.

Dr. Freeman waited for a few minutes for Kevin to regain his composure. He noted that Nick only sat quietly in the chair, looking down at his folded hands that lay in his lap. “And then you ran into some problems?”

Kevin sighed. “Yes. We kept saying a word and Nick grew irritated and wanted to know what we were talking about. When he didn’t understand what we were talking about I tried to see if Nick was back to us one hundred percent. When he discovered he couldn’t read he…”

Feeling remorse from his own actions in having Nick try to read, causing Nick’s current state, Kevin bowed his head as the tears sprung into his eyes.

The doctor waited for a few minutes before he softly started speaking. “Alright, Kevin I will need to talk with Nick for a bit, why don’t you step out and wait for a little while.”

Reluctantly, Kevin agreed. He hugged Nick before he left the office. “I’ll only be outside this room,” he whispered into the young man’s ear.

The only repsponse from Nick rubbing between his eyebrows and nodding slightly.

With a inward sigh, Kevin quietly left the room, worried about what would happen in that room while he was away.

 

 

**********

 

“That doc has to be a fucking retard,” AJ sputtered as he paced the hotel room.

“Maybe he is, but he’s the one with the psychiatric degree, not you,” Kevin hissed back.

“So that’s it? You came back without Nicky? You just left him at Sunvalley when you didn’t want to take him back there in the first place? I can’t believe it,” Brian moaned as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

 “Technically he’s not at Sunvalley, he’s been admitted to a hospital,” Kevin clarified.

“What the fuck,” AJ growled as he pulled a cigarette out of his front pocket.

”Don’t you dare…”

Before Kevin could finish his threat, AJ lit the smoke. “I’ll pay the fine,” he muttered.

“Why on God’s green Earth did you leave Nicky? How did he take being left there?” Brian asked, worry etched on his face.

The older man sat down in the chair in the corner, rubbing a hand over his face. “Nick really didn’t react to anything while I had him. I hugged him and said goodbye,” Kevin replied, his voice cracking as choked up.

“I don’t get it,” the rebel said as he stopped pacing the room. “You said he was admitted to a hospital. Why was he admitted?”

“Something about psychatric eval,” Kevin mumbled quietly.

“So now they are saying Nick’s crazy?” AJ muttered.

“No, not at all. I guess Dr. Freeman needs to do more testing with Nick. All he told me was that Nick has had an emotional crisis.”

“A what?” Brian questioned. “I don’t get it.”

“Dr. Freeman said that when Nick was told about his accident, he didn’t comprehend what we were telling him and then when I had him try to read, things didn’t connect with his brain and he didn’t understand why he couldn’t do things he was suppose to be doing and I threw him over the edge—“

“That doctor didn’t say that to you Kevin, did he?” Brian interrupted.

“About Nick having an emotional crisis--“

“Yeah he did..”

AJ shook his head as he exhaled the smoke he had been holding in his lungs. “Stop blaming yourself!”

“Well I did cause this,” Kevin reiterated.  “Has anyone called Howie?”

“I did after you left with Nick,” Brian replied.

“D said he’ll be here sometime tonight,” AJ added. “Is there anything we can do for Nicky? Can we go see him?”

“Absolutely not! The doctor said Nick needs to be kept quiet and nothing to get him upset.”

“So what exactly is an emotional crisis?” AJ asked as he put out the cigarette into half empty soda can.

“Like put into a state of shock…it would be like if someone told you your mother died. You just can’t accept what has happened and you go into shock. I’m sorry for that analogy but I can’t think of a better way to explain this to you,” Kevin replied as he put his head into his hands.

Seeing Kevin’s actions, Brian was quick to go to his cousin’s side. He placed a comforting hand on the man’s shoulder, rubbing it slowing in a circular motion.
“Nicky will be okay. You did the right thing by calling the office.”

Brian tossed a stern look at AJ while he spoke to Kevin, trying to draw the tattooed rebel into assuring his cousin.

“Yeah, Kaos is tough…he’s come this far, he’ll be fine before you know it,” AJ added with a shrug of his shoulders.

Kevin couldn’t reply to the assurances that were given. He could only remember the look on Nick’s face as he was being admitted to the hospital:

One of total loss and confusion.

He could only pray that his baby brother could snap out of his emotional set back.