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“Love Can Save”

-“Maybe I’m a drifter, maybe not
Cause I have known the safety
Floating freely in your arms,
I don’t need another lifeline,
It’s not for me,
Cause only you can save me,
Oh, can’t you see.” –From A.J.’s part “Drowning.”

**~Healing Soul~**

The wheels crunch over the gravel as it pulls out Yasmine’s driveway where the campus apartments are located. A.J. grips the steering wheel, keeping his eyes facing at the streets before him. Silence seemed to loom in the car since he along with Nick and Howie arrived at Yasmine’s place. Poor Anya had already packed some clothes in a small black suitcase. All the guys had to do was pick some of the items that Yasmine personally requested.

“Alright.” Howie states from the backseat surrounded by Yasmine’s backpack, purse and small suitcase, “I have a checklist. Let’s make sure we have all the things she needs.”

“Dude, all she needs is some deodorant and clean panties. I don’t see why we have to bring all this stuff with us to the hospital.” Nick mumbles as he peers at the backseat to see Howie fumble through a layer of clothes in a suitcase.

“Moron, besides that: she wants to get back to the way things were before the incident and she’ll need more than that.” Howie states as he searches thoroughly through a small pile of her folded clothes.

Nick smirks and burst into a verse from the song they released over two years ago, “Baby you deserve much better, what’s the use of holding on.” Nick frowns when he feels a smack on the back of his head. “Stop with the hitting of the head. Fragile things in there.”

Howie laughs while A.J. remained lost and silent. Since yesterday’s confession to Nick and Howie about Yasmine’s assault, A.J. didn’t seem like himself. He seemed more hidden to himself and quiet as the hours passed by and it was beginning to concern the other band mates.

“When we see her, should I buy a bouquet of sunflowers? She loves those things.” Nick whispers quietly as he leans back into his seat.

A.J. clears his throat and nods his head, “Yeah, you can do that. She would like that.”

“Ok. A.J. can you tell us how you’re feeling?” Nick fearfully asks, knowing that was getting into personal territory, one in which he assumed A.J. would get upset about.

“Feeling about what?” A.J. asks as his shoulders begin to tease. He never takes his eyes off the road as he stares straight ahead.

“About Yasmine.” Nick continues nervously.

He could hear Howie take a nervous deep breath from behind him as A.J. grips the black steering wheel tightly in his hands. The grip was so tight that the whites of his knuckles appeared and Nick knew he hit a soft spot.

“Pissed off.” Was all A.J. whispers as he rubs his lower lip with his hand, hoping it would distract him from what he was truly feeling at the moment. He was caught in a swirl of emotions of anger, sadness, frustration, pity, guilt and uselessness that seemed to be overwhelming him at the moment.

“Ok.” Nick whispers as he closed his mouth and receives a worried glance from Howie in the backseat.

Clearing his throat, Howie tries to interrupt the uneasy feeling by continuing to read the list given to him from the doctors about Yasmine’s items.

Nick sighs and stares at A.J. until A.J. have had enough of the distressing glances from his two friends. Pressing on the breaks of the green SUV, he squeals to a stop in the middle of a vacant street they were traveling on. A.J. sighs and stares at both of his friends, never saying a word. His breathing becomes ragged and he flings open the driver’s side door, leaping out of it before screaming out a list of profanities. Howie and Nick watch in silent shock as A.J. screams and bangs his fist on the side of the vehicle. “You happy!” A.J. screams to Nick through the driver’s window. “Are you happy? God Nick, I hate this crap! I can’t do this. I can’t help her!” A.J. screams out, flailing his arms in anxiety.

Howie takes a deep breath and nods his head, “I know how you feel, I can’t relate and wouldn’t know what to say to her to help her out…”

A.J. cuts him off in mid-sentence, “No! No you don’t D! God, its something you don’t understand. I’m like a brother to her and I let her down. She doesn’t trust me, I know this. I tried to help her get up from the bed this morning and she screamed out saying she can do it herself. And then to make matters worse, she said she can’t stand the sight of me right now!”

“What?” Howie blurts out as A.J. places his hands on the roof of the SUV, standing besides the open driver’s side.

“God, J. I’m sorry.” Nick begins to say until A.J. yells out:

“Forget it k! I screwed up and now I have to live with it.” A.J. mutters stepping into the vehicle and slamming the door besides him.

“A.J. stop it ok! You’re not to blame for what happened. A criminal in the hotel was loose and Yasmine was one of the victims. You didn’t have anything to do with the intentions of that sick rapist, do you hear me?!” Howie shouts, hoping to get through A.J.

Nick watches as A.J. leans back on the seat, rubbing his chin in a dazed state, the only sound coming now was the ragged breathing of A.J. and the ticking, of the ignition while the key chain swings quietly side to side.

“This sucks.” Nick whispers quietly, slumping further into the passenger seat.

“Tell me about it.” A.J. whispers as he starts the SUV up again and pulls off the corner of the street, driving down the road.

Howie sighs and shakes his head, this was going to be a lot harder than any of them are prepared for. His thoughts are interrupted when A.J. hisses out something.

“I’m gonna see if I can help out the police, cause I want to find the man who did this to her. And when I do, I’ll…” A.J. seethes as Nick quiets him down with a single word.

“No.”

“No?” A.J. asks confused, “Who said? He deserves to get punished like any sick criminal out there…” A.J. begins to states until Howie whispers out.

“That’s why the police is working on the case and not you ok? Trust me when I say that I’m sure Yasmine wants to see that man be convicted like we all do. But don’t say those things, you won’t do them.” Howie whispers calmly, nibbling on his lower lip.

A.J. tenses up as he whispers out, “You never know D. You never know. People surprise us everyday.”

Nick takes a quick glance at his two friends before running his fingers through his spiky hair, this was going to be a lot harder for all of them than they thought. He didn’t like what A.J. just said, what exactly did he mean by that sentence that people surprise us everyday. He only hoped A.J. would think reasonably through all this and not take actions into his own hands. How would he feel if someone brutally attacked him? He was beginning to understand A.J.’s frustration about not making things better faster, but what can one do? Although there was no real serious injury physically, emotionally-internally- it was up to Yasmine to repair that and they had to be there to support her in any way they can.
~*~

Yasmine smiles and sits on the edge of the bed, staring at the clock on the wall ticking away slowly. She felt calm now since she was on her way to leaving the hospital. She was glad the examinations were over and she can try to forget this and move on. She didn’t need any more problems or traumas getting in the way now. She would have to rebuild her life and she was eagerly looking forward to it. “A.J. hurry up. I want to get out here.” She whispers to herself, tugging on her pale blue hospital gown. She sighs and stares down at her Bible, the only possession that Anya managed to bring to her yesterday. She needs God now more than ever. She couldn’t go through this problem without her faith and reading the Scriptures helped her out in so many ways it was unbelievable. She sighs and looks over one of her favorite scripture in John 16:33 “…In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Yasmine sighs and runs her fingers over the words. It seems to be the only thing that calmed her racing heart and her damaged life. She could hear the padding of a nurse entering her room and quickly asking if she has everything she needed.

“Almost, waiting for my friend to come pick me up, plus he has a change of clothes for me.” Yasmine croaks out, her voice strained from all the screaming she did before when a doctor came to check up on her. Although she insisted she was fine, the doctors fail to fulfill her wishes and give her check up anyway against her pleading.

“How you feeling? Tired?” A nurse asks with a smug look on her face. Yasmine stares at the woman, willing to smack that smirk off that woman’s face.

“No. I’m well rested if you’re interested.” Yasmine whispers, her light green eyes graze over the sickly white tiles that pave the entire hospital room.

“Oh. Well if you need anything, just call ok.” The nurse whispers, replacing an empty flow chart at the end of the bed.

“Ok.” Yasmine whispers as she wipes her sweaty palms on the side of her gown. “Oh wait. Just curious, do you know if the police has any leads on the one who assaulted me?” She chokes out, her eyes stinging with a stray tear.

The nurse shakes her head sadly and shrugs her shoulders, “I’m sorry, I don’t really know about that. The police hasn’t reported anything to us. I’m sure if anything comes up, your lawyer will contact you as soon as possible.”

Yasmine nods her head and roughly wipes away a stray tear that caresses the frame of her face.

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry about all this.” The nurse whispers emotionally as she embraces a weeping Yasmine.

“What if he comes back for me?” Yasmine whispers, her arms trembling.

The nurse frowns and shakes her head, “No, no that won’t happen. You’ll be surrounded by your friends and family. You’ll be safe, you won’t be alone.”

Yasmine nods her head as she feels the gentle arms of the nurse embrace her. She drops her head into the nook of the nurse’s neck and sobs silently, her shoulders racking in sadness.
~*~

A.J. parks the SUV across the street from the hospital while Nick and Howie gather their belongings and step out the vehicle. A.J. drums his fingers on the steering wheel mentally fighting if he can pull through with this.

“J, yo, let’s roll. You don’t want to keep her waiting.” Nick states, grabbing the small suitcase from Howie along with Yasmine’s purse and backpack.

A.J. nods his head and steps out the vehicle slowly as he makes his way around the hood of the SUV. “Ok. I’m ready.”

“Ok, cool. Listen, I’ll stay here while you guys go pick her up k? I don’t think this is good spot to park and I want to avoid any tickets.” Howie muses as he walks around the front of the SUV and takes the driver’s seat.

Nick nervously sighs and nods his head, “Ok, let’s go.” And both A.J and Nick cross the street and enter the hospital.

The elevator doors open as A.J. and Nick trudge through the aesthetic fill hallways. Both men stand outside the room as Nurse Warden greets them at the threshold. “She’ll all ready for you. However, Mr. McLean can I have a word with you?” A.J. gulps and nods at Nick’s direction.

“K, I’ll go get her. See ya in a few.” And Nick enters the room and greets Yasmine who seemed more like herself since yesterday’s silent greeting.

A.J. smiles and was brought back to the nurse’s attention, “Mr. Mclean, are you paying attention sir?”

“Oh yeah, sorry. Just glad to see Yas smiling again.” He whispers gleefully.

Nurse Warden clears her throat as her olive face seemed clouded in concern. “Well before she’s released I need you to sign a few forms while I’ll explain the procedures. Since she has been through a tragic incident, rape victims are accompanied with problems that can develop throughout their healing process. Meaning, I’m going to subscribe her to take some medication that will help her anxiety or depressions. Also I’m giving her a medication in which we give to all rape patients who have been involved with unsafe sexual activities. To make sure she isn’t infected with anything, Dr. Ross decided to give her a bottle of PEP for any signs of AIDS that can be in her body.”

A.J. practically choked on the last words the nurse said, “She has AIDS?!”

“No, no! Sir please, this is just a back up in case we find anything that can be potential to AIDS. Please, I’m sorry to scare you like this, its just we’re taking all precautions in case of anything.” Nurse Warden states as a soft smile crosses her face when she hears Yasmine and Nick laugh softly.

A.J. gulps and nods his head as he quickly throws the small bottle of PEP into his pockets. He couldn’t show that to Yasmine, she would completely lose it if she knew she might be infected with a potential illness. He was ready to greet Yasmine when he feels a small tug on his arm from the nurse.

“Wait. Actually I wanted to talk to you about something the doctor found in her blood stream.” Nurse Warden gazes at him curiously.

A.J. covers his ears, “Please no more! I don’t want to hear it!”

“She’s pregnant.” The nurse blurts out immediately as A.J. still covering his ears, open his eyes wide.

“Wh, what?!” A.J. whispers out loudly: he didn’t want to alarm Nick and Yasmine as they were making their way over to them.

The nurse pulls on A.J.’s arm and whispers softly into his ears, “Dr. Ross found semen on her when she was brought in here. We ran a few tests to make sure if it was true and oddly enough, she’s impregnated with that rapist’s child. She’s only two days but she’ll need to be coming back for checkups for the infant and such.”

A.J. thought he had a heart attack when the nurse stated that, his heart crashed into his chest as chills ran up and down his spine continually.

“A.J., A.J.! Hey is everything alright?” Nick’s voice cuts into his thoughts.

“Huh? Oh yeah. Sorry. Is Yas ready?” A.J.’s voice trembles, staring at Nick almost afraid the horrid secret will leak out.

“Almost, she’s getting dressed now. J, what happened? You don’t look so well now.” Nick whispers, noting the ashen color that covered A.J.’s face suddenly. Nick narrows his eyes and stares pensively at his friend, “What did the nurse tell you exactly?”

“Not, not now Nick.” A.J. whispers as Yasmine steps out the small bathroom within in the hospital room. Yasmine seems to be glowing, her tan cheeks glitter with health as she smiles shyly, her long raven locks tumble right below her shoulders.

“Ok. I’m ready to get out of this place.” She whispers innocently as she carries her small black leather purse in her hands.

“Alright let’s go.” Nick beams. Yasmine walks ahead of the two men as Nick stares at A.J. He was hiding something and whatever it was seemed to be eating away at his friend. Nick sighs and just hoped that whatever it was, A.J. will confess in time.
~*~
Yasmine lets out a puff of air as she collapses onto the soft couch in her small apartment. Lying on her back, A.J. stares at her delicately, afraid that if he moved, he would shatter the perfect angel before him. It was a day after the departure from the hospital and A.J. came to see how Yasmine was doing.

Yasmine smiles and peers her soft light eyes at him, “What are you looking at?”

A.J. smiles: rolling his eyes and jokily answer backs, “Nothing much.”

At that Yasmine laughs and shakes her head, “You really are something aren’t you?”

“I’m sorry.” A.J. whispers suddenly, the guilt eating away at him.

“Sorry? For what? For what happened to me? You had nothing to do with it.” Yasmine retorted, playing with a small rubber band entangled in her fingers.

A.J. grabs her moving hands and clasps them together: she diverts her eyes to him curious to see where A.J. was heading with this.

“You know that I care for you and I would do anything for you right?” A.J. states, watching Yasmine nod her head.

She sits up from the couch as A.J. leans closer to her and moves to sit on the edge of the sofa she’s on. He throws her feet over his lap as he smiles and tickles her. Something was up, she knew A.J. too well. He was hiding something from her and she wanted to know what it was. She pulls her feet away from A.J. and tucks her legs beneath her. “Alex. What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” A.J. whispers as he traces an imaginary pattern with his fingers on his jean-clad legs.

“If you’re worried about what I’m going through, I’m ok. I don’t want you to feel burdened when you’re around me. I’m your friend, you know that. You can tell me anything.” Yasmine whispers, her hands tugging on a loose thread coming from the cuffs of her jeans.

“I just want to know why you aren’t mad.” A.J. whispers, his eyes practically looking deep within her soul.

“Mad? What will me being mad do? Nothing. So I decided to do something useful with my feelings. I put them into my faith, my reading of the Bible.” Yasmine whispers as a small smile nudges on the corners of her soft lips.

A.J. rolls his eyes and shakes his head, “Funny you say that. Shouldn’t God have watched over you? I just don’t know why you do that. I mean its all good you have this faith in God and all but that isn’t enough for me.”

Yasmine shakes her head and licks her lips, “I’m sorry you feel that way. But I believe God lets things happen for a reason.”

A.J. sighs loudly and stands up, “Yeah right. Things like you getting raped and such. I didn’t come here to get preached on k. I love you and I respect your wishes and beliefs, but I would have done things differently.”

“Really now? I guess we have different ways of handling things.” Yasmine whispers softly as she turns her head around to see A.J. walking over to the front door.

“Yas, since when did you get like this?” A.J. asks, his back turned to her.

“What? Get like what Alex?” She whispers softly.

“Like this, like all religious and stuff?” A.J. asks annoyed as he crosses his arms on his chest, his back still facing her.

“I believed in God for the longest. Its not that I’m religious, I’m spiritual. My faith grows stronger every day, the fact that I’m still alive and breathing is something I take into account everyday. I thank God for helping me and yeah you’re right, I’m mad. I’m pissed off is more like it. But God is taking care of it. What can I do? The guilty can’t run forever and that man will face God one day. He’ll be punished and that’s all I can do.” A.J. still facing her back, shrugs his shoulders, “Look at me A.J. where are all these feelings coming from?” Yasmine whispers.

A.J. turns to her and cocks his head to the side, “You’re so different. You’re taking all this as a stride in a park. I would have some crazy stuff by now. But I guess you’re right. We have two different outlooks I guess.”

“Yeah, yeah we do. Alex is there anything else you want to say before you leave?” Yasmine whispers, a grin spreading on her face.

“Ummm. No. No. Just wanted to see how you were doing, that’s all.” A.J. whispers.

Yasmine nods her head and tilts her head at him, “I think Nick is talking to himself by now. Maybe you should you go now, Nick does weird stuff by himself when he’s alone for too long.”

A.J. chuckles and nods his head, “Yeah, yeah you’re right. You take care girl. I’ll call ya later tonight, we’ll hang out tomorrow k.” A.J. smirks as Yasmine sticks out her tongue.

“K and I want my bracelet back.” Yasmine states as A.J. smirks. He chuckles and steps out the door blowing a kiss at her. “Love you.”

“Love ya back.” Yasmine smiles as A.J. closes the door and leaves her apartment. Once he closes the door, he leans on it and wipes the tears that were beginning to flow down his face. He learned something new about Yasmine today, she has more strength than he had ever imagined and he was glad she was strong enough to handle the situation at hand. He wipes away the tears and smiles as he makes his way towards the elevator bank. Now the next step is breaking the news that she was a mother to be.
~**~

**~To Be Continued…~**