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Chapter Five.



As Nick and Brian walked down the stairs, Nick began to daydream about some stuff and forgot they were actually walking. He stopped dead in his tracks, causing Brian to stop o­nce he realized Nick wasn’t next to him. Brian turned around and saw Nick standing there, his eyes glued to this spot o­n the floor like his life depended o­n it. Brian walked up to Nick and bent down a little to look him in the eye, smiling a little.
 
“Nick? Hello in there? If you are still o­n earth, please feel free to answer my call.” He grinned as Nick swayed back and forth like he was lightweight. Like he was a really lose sign post in a strong wind, swinging to and fro and with the words ‘Dead End’ written across it. Brian began to giggle and shook Nick slightly to get his attention finally.
 
“Yes…?” Nick slowly whispered at the floor, his eyes were huge now but still glued to that same spot. Brian laughed this time and grabbed Nick’s arms and shook him, still staring. He snapped his fingers in front of his eyes, still staring. He thought for a moment before he came up with something, walk away from him. Brian sighed and walked away, down the next flight of stairs and hid just out of sight from Nick, but where he could keep an eye o­n him. Nick slowly come back from his dream realm and got a nasty shock when no o­ne was there.
 
“Bri? Brian?!” he called but go no answer. He panicked and looked around quickly; his eyes darted all over the place like lose screws. Nick felt tears well up in his eyes…he’s been forgotten again. He was alone, all alone in this hotel, he didn’t know where anyone was, where’d they gone. He was scared to death this time because he was there, with Brian a few seconds ago and then…Brian was gone. Nick still there, his heart beating like he had just ran 100 miles without stopping o­nce, because he was alone. Nick began to sob and leant against the wall and slid to the floor with his face in his hands, his hair flopping o­n his face. He called quietly, “you left me again, I’m alone, I have no o­ne, I’m forgotten, where are you? Come…back…” he sobbed loudly.
 
Brian felt his heart jerk and his knees go weak, what had he done?! Oh god, the poor kid thought he was alone again? Forgotten? What was Nick o­n about? Why did he say ‘you left me again’? Brian had so many thoughts rushing through his head but o­ne stayed… ‘I’m forgotten’. He wasn’t though, they all loved him so much, maybe it was something that they hadn’t realized they were doing? Brian didn’t know, all he wanted to do was go and get Nick. He got up and ran up the stairs at lightening speed, missing three steps at a time, and pulled Nick up, grabbed him and held him in his arms tightly. Nick hadn’t had time to realize who it was but the smell of the t-shirt gave it away. He instinctively wrapped his arms around Brian’s waist and sobbed harder. Brian felt Nick shake and stroked his soft blond mop of hair to try and calm the kid down.
 
“Shhh Nicky, you’re not alone now, I’m here, I won’t go anywhere again, I swear!”  Brian whispered into Nick’s hair and Nick pulled away, looking right into Brian’s deep blue eyes. He smiled and lent forward o­n Brian’s shoulder. He wasn’t going to alone anymore, he had Brian! He wasn’t going to be forgotten this time; he was going to be ‘in-with-the-crowd’ now! Brian sighed and pulled Nick away from his shoulder and looked him in the eye, Nick stared right back at him. Both saw something that made them lock in a trance, just standing there; both unable to pull away or even blink. They both saw something like love? Lust? Yearning? Wanting? Desire? They could see something like that but neither o­ne was about to break the look they had for fear it would be gone, as if it were a dream. For Nick it was almost unbelievable, no o­ne had ever looked at him like this before in his entire life!
 
“Brian…” he whispered so softly it was almost silent mouthing. Brian sucked in a huge gulp of air before he answered his little call.
 
“Nick…little Nicky…” he smiled and Nick grinned a smile that would dazzle anyone who saw it. Brian didn’t know what to do but he o­nly thought of o­ne thing. Those lips, those soft looking red, full lips right there eon that childish angelically pale face. Nick was thinking something the same; the lips that were practically level with his own, wanting to be kissed, touched. Nick slowly and unsurely reached out, his arm and hand shaking, and gently touched Brian’s jawbone under his lips, not quite his chin. He smiled when he saw Brian’s eyes fixed o­n him, his mouth parting slightly, letting a short breath out.
 
“Nicky…” he sighed and Nick removed his hand, thinking he had done something wrong. Brian smiled at Nick’s shy expression and did the o­nly thought that popped to mind that instant…he lent forward and kissed Nick, quick and swift, hard enough to push Nick back slightly. He pulled away fast and opened his eyes, looking at a every tense, wide-eyed Nick.
 
“Ummm? Ah…well…hmmm…uh…” Nick stammered and Brian blushed but his eyes went as wide as Nick’s o­nce he analysed what he had done. Why had he done that? The kid must think he’s a weirdo now. Brian began to panic inside but kept calm o­n the outside. Nick was a little too quiet right now, which wasn’t helping o­ne bit. Nick shook his head and looked right at the floor again. What was going o­n? What the hell did they just do? Or rather, Brian just do?
 
“I’m sorry Nick…I…god…!” he couldn’t say anything. His head was a mess and Nick wasn’t saying anything or even looking at him. He hated him, he knew it! He didn’t want to know im anymore because he kissed him. He was a guy for god sakes!
 
“Let’s go…” was all Nick said before he walked down the stairs in a trance, leaving Brian staring at the back of his head. See! He hated him; he didn’t want to know him anymore. Brian almost broke down in tears, he really wanted Nick as his new best biddy but now look what he’s done, friends? Yeah! Best friends? No way! Brian held in his tears, sighed and walked after Nick.
 
All the way down to the lobby they kept silent, Nick thought Brian was ignoring him now, that he didn’t want to know him because he didn’t really react to what Brian had done. What the hell was he supposed to do anyway?!?! Laugh it off? No!

Brian had the same thoughts, he thought Nick hated him, was ignoring him because it was the o­nly thing to do now because they were walking together, well almost walking together. Brian’s head was a pool of thoughts, his heart drowning in it all! Nick’s was hell’s new home, his own heart set alight by the flames of heartache, loneliness, ignorance of others and most of all…love. He didn’t know what to do, what to think, how to act or what to say so he kept quiet; the other thinking that he hated him.
 
They entered the lobby and sat down o­n the couches, opposite each other, a really horrid, awkward silence filling the air. Neither boy looked up from the spot they had chosen to pick to look at for fear of locking eyes and seeing hate in the others eyes. They stayed like that until another Backstreeter came and joined.
 
 
Silence isn’t always the best answer to everything that you can’t word, Nick and Brian didn’t know what the other thought of them now that had happened. They began to put a wall of ignorance and forgetfulness in front of their friendship; blocking away all emotions they both craved fro the other. Now they were falling apart…