Back in the days of Frick and Frack…
Shortly before I got out of rehab, I remember Brian coming to visit me unexpectedly. He sat down beside me, looked me in the eyes and told me how proud he was of me for making such a difficult decision. I could have taken the chicken way out, but I didn’t and for that reason, he would forever consider me one of his heroes.
I can’t even count the number of times I cried thinking back to that conversation, the way I felt after he left. I called Sarah and balled my eyes out saying that I was so grateful to have people like her and him in my life and even though Sarah is long out of my life, although not really as out of my life as everyone seems to think, Brian has and always will remain.
Sarah and I still talk occasionally, a lot more frequently than we used to. Sometimes she calls, using one of the dogs as an excuse, asking me a dumb question like when was the last time they went to the vet. I know it’s because she misses me and maybe wants to get back together with me. Don’t think I haven’t contemplated that idea either but at the end of the day, I know we are history. Two people who used to love each other but now know that some things just aren’t meant to be.
Getting back to Brian though, it was after that unexpected visit while I was away, that my relationship with him grew. We had always been close Bri and I but after that, I just knew that he was the one I could go to for advice. I’m not sure when it happened exactly but I could tell that I had become his new Frack and even though I should have felt guilty about it, I wasn’t. I was grateful actually.
My friendship with all the guys grew as a result of my sobriety in general; it’s funny what happens when you aren’t stoned out of your mind. I sat in his bedroom as he got ready for his hot date and smiled about how much thought he was putting into things. I wasn’t sure if I should make fun of him for this or not, but after awhile I couldn’t resist.
“Wow you are really going all out for the cute blonde aren’t you? How come you never put so much thought into what you are wearing when we go out?”
Just as I knew he would, he smiled at me as he carefully folded a pair of his jeans and returned them to his suitcase. I need to unpack my suitcase; maybe I’ll do that tonight since I have nothing better to do.
“AJ you really need to stop being the jealous girlfriend, it’s so unbecoming of you.” Brian had the worst gay man’s voice I have ever heard. Maybe it was the twang but Brian playing gay was never believable.
“I’m not jealous, besides there’s always Howie.” Brian laughed at that.
“You should come with us.” He said now looking for the perfect pair of shoes to wear on his play date with Carter.
I have thought about this since Brian first extended the invitation; I have to admit I was a little jealous but more nervous, because Brian was the one that was going to keep me on the straight and narrow. Not that they all wouldn’t help with that, but… I don’t know what I’m even saying anymore.
“Nah, it’s okay. I think Nick wants you all to himself.”
My GOD we really did sound gay didn’t we?
“I don’t know about that J, maybe back in the day but not so much now. Now it seems like we never have very much to say to each other.”
“True but we’ve only been back for 2 days now Rok. Remember any good relationship has to grow.”
“So what do you plan on doing tonight then?” He asked finally finding the shoes he was looking for and placing them on his feet.
“I’m going to unpack and then maybe rent a movie or something.”
“Porn?”
“Would that make you stay with me cutie pie?” Now when it came to the gay voice, I ruled, although not sure why I’m bragging about that.
“Sorry, I have a date.” He winked at me and then opened his door. I followed him out into the main room where Kevin was still lying on the couch looking half dead.
“God Kev, why don’t you go to bed? You look like hell!”
He looked up at me and coughed, “I don’t like lying in bed all day.”
“But you are lying on the couch, what’s the difference?”
“If I go to bed now, I won’t be able to sleep. I’m not sure why that happens but it just does. Why? Does my couch sitting bother you?”
“Only if you get my ass sick it will.”
“Where are you going?” He asked his cousin once he saw how nicely dressed he was.
“Brian has a hot date with a blonde.”
Kevin sat up making room for me to sit next to him, “Leigh is in town?” The way he said that was a mixture of confusion and annoyance, I hope that Brian didn’t pick up on that.
“No, he meant Nick. We are hanging out tonight remember?”
“Oh, yeah, that’s right.” He seemed genuinely excited about that for some reason, I think he realized just like I did, how important Brian was to Nick.
“That means you have to entertain me all night Kevin.” He rolled his eyes at me.
“Rent porn and leave me alone.”
“Why does everyone automatically assume I’m going to rent porn?”
“Uh, because it’s you.”
“Oh...right.”
“You could always go out in that gorgeous ride of yours and attempt to pick up some hot chicks.”
“Shut up B!” Curses to that stupid van, on my list of things to do tomorrow is to get rid of that thing once and for all and did I just say curses?
Nick came out of the bathroom a few seconds after the unnecessary automobile taunting and smiled at the three of us. “Are you just about ready Nick?”
The blonde nodded and placed his hotel key in his pocket, on a side note, I can’t believe Paris wanted his ass. “Let’s go.”
“You boys have a good time and don’t stay out too late!” I kidded as I winked at Brian and blew him a kiss.
Once they left, I turned to Kevin who had once again managed to lie down on the couch, thus hogging the entire thing, and said “So, you want to order a pizza?”
“I won’t be able to taste it.”
“Good, more for me then.” He shook his head at me as I reached over him and ordered us some dinner.
A few days before I left my family behind, my wife found an old article from some teeny bopper magazine and felt compelled to show it to me. I was never big on keeping stuff like that but Leigh insisted. She said one day when this is all over, I’ll want to look back on it all. It was an interview that Nick and I did talking about our friendship. There was the silliest picture ever on there of us in those stupid Frick and Frack hats. I pretended to be disinterested but once she had walked away to tend to laundry, I read the entire thing and couldn’t help but smile. I almost called him that night, just because that article had brought back so many memories for me. We really were inseparable back then. He was so small; I can’t believe how small he was.
I looked over at him as we rode the elevator down to the lobby; I really have watched this kid grow. Not that I could call him a kid anymore, I mean he was already in his early twenties.
“You are staring at me.”
“Sorry, I was just thinking.”
“About what?”
“How small you were when I first met you.”
He smirked and nodded, “Yup,” Was all he said.
“So where are we going Nick? Do you have any idea?”
“No, I thought you did.”
“Nope.”
“Maybe we can hit an Italian place? I’m kind of in the mood for Pasta.”
“Kevin would not be happy. He is on this no carbs for the Backstreet Boys kick.”
“Exactly why I want some I think.” I nodded, of course that’s why he would want some, it made perfect sense.
We decided on a small out of the way Italian place called Giorgio’s. We sat down in a booth in the back of the place and once again that uncomfortable feeling crept up on me. I never felt like that with Nick, in fact back in the day I used to feel SO comfortable with him, it was as if we were sharing the same skin. He kept his head buried in his menu, I could tell it was because he was probably feeling the same way as I was. That made me sad.
“So how’s the family?” He asked me looking over my way and smiling.
“They are good…Bay has been sick but luckily he’s better now. I miss them.”
“I’m sure you do. You haven’t been away from them much have you?”
“Not really, no.”
He nodded and once again looked down into his menu, “So…what about you? What have you been up to?”
He shrugged at me, “Just been keeping busy I guess… nothing too important.”
“What about the family?”
“Yeah, I don’t really talk to them much anymore, the kids are fine though.”
“Good.”
He searched the room for our waiter and I admit I was doing the same thing. Once we had food in front of us, things would get better.
“So how was golfing? Did AJ beat you again?”
“No actually this time I kicked his ass!”
“Did he cry like a big baby?”
“I’m sure he is now.”
The waiter came and took our order; of course we both got carbs galore and couldn’t help but snicker about it as the guy walked away. “So…you said you wanted to talk to me about something?” He sounded hesitant when he asked me that, I could tell that maybe he really didn’t want to know. Back in the days of Frick and Frack, there was never a time when he would have been afraid of something that was going to come out of my mouth.
“It was nothing major; I just wanted to say that…well…” What did I want to say exactly? He kept looking over at me while biting on his bottom lip. “Just that the other day…” And those words made his head go down to the table.
“I’m sorry about all of that Brian. I made an ass out of myself. I really didn’t mean to get drunk. Sometimes I’m just young and stupid you know what I mean?”
“Wow that would be a great line to a song.”
“You think?”
“Yup.”
“We’ll have to remember that…anyway I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize to me Nick, all I was going to say was I don’t hate you. Remember you asked us if we hated you or not?”
“Yeah.”
“And I didn’t answer you, I was mad I guess but you know I don’t hate you right?”
He paused and thought about it, at least to me that’s what it looked like he was doing. Once again that saddened me because maybe Howie was right after all. How could he possibly think I hated him?
Finally he smiled at me, “I know you don’t hate me Bri…sometimes I just wish that…never mind.”
“You know what I found the other day?”
He seemed grateful for the change in subject as he grabbed a forkful of his pasta and put it into his mouth. “What?”
“An old article we did for a magazine. Just the two of us…God we were such goofs back then.”
“What did it say?”
“We talked about our damn Mario Cart competition, remember that?”
For the first time since we sat down together I saw that familiar light in his eyes. “Oh my God yes! Hey I’m still the champ aren’t I?”
“That is unimportant.”
“I guess that’s a big old yes then huh?”
I laughed at him and purposely didn’t answer his question, “And they asked us questions about each other and I said you were afraid of the dark.”
“You were always so willing to tell everyone and their mother about that.”
“Well you WERE!”
“I was young.”
“I know, but still.”
“What else did it say?” I wish I had brought it with me; it would have been a fun thing to read together.
“They asked you who would be an ideal woman for me and you said…”
“Someone just like me, right?”
“Yes!”
“I remember that actually.” He giggled.
“It was a cute little interview, I’m glad I held onto it.” For me, the best part of that one was how he said I had the biggest impact on his life. He looked up to me the most, now staring at him fiddling around with his Sidekick, I wanted to go over and hug him. I’m such a sap…or a dad, maybe a little of both.
“Those were good times Brian.”
“Yes, they were and you know I’d still like to reclaim the Mario Cart crown.”
“It’ll never happen my man but you can certainly try.”
“Maybe later tonight after I talk to Leigh and Bay.”
“Actually, I am meeting up with some friends after we eat.”
“You are?”
“Yes, we are hitting a club or two.”
“Okay, well another time then. It’s not like we are never going to see each other again.” He laughed, but I suddenly felt uneasy again.
The rest of our dinner was quiet and calm, with occasional bursts of memory here and there. As we got up to leave he insisted on paying for us, because I paid the night before. We hugged each other and then he took off to meet up with his friends as I headed back to the hotel.
I’m not sure why I told Brian I was meeting up with friends. Truth was I had absolutely no plans whatsoever, just for some reason, I felt the need to shut him out. I didn’t want him seeing how depressed I was feeling with every memory we spoke about the good old days because frankly, I’m not sure why the good old days ever ended.
He seemed just as uncomfortable as I felt though, so I bet he was kind of grateful for the reprieve. But now that left me having to find something to entertain myself with for the rest of the night. I tried to think of people I could call who were in town and ironically enough I kept coming up blank. I know LA is a big place and you’d think I’d have so many people here but really, no. Most of my friends, party buddies and ‘ladies’ were in Tampa. I only knew a few people I could call on around here and all of them would end up getting me into trouble, so I just kind of roamed around for a while. Walking around the streets, hands in my pockets, thinking.
I hated when I got in these moods, it happened a lot back when I was a kid. It seemed more acceptable back then though, now it just seems like maybe I need antidepressants. “Or to get laid.” I said out loud like I so often do at inopportune moments.
“Damn straight!” I turned around to see an old, drunk man with no teeth following me around. “I needs me a woman too.” Oookay.
I smiled at him and kept on walking, and of course as my luck would have it, he kept following me. I felt like Shrek being tailed by an annoying talking donkey.
“So where are we going?”
“Pardon?”
“To get laid? Where are we going?”
Only me, I swear to God. “Well, I’m going this way…I bet you’ll find some great ladies that way.” I said making sure to point in the other direction. The smell of urine on him was so strong I was almost gagging.
“Spare some change?” I reached in my pocket and gave him a $5, to which he grabbed me in a hug.
“Bless you my boy! Good luck with your woman.”
“Thanks.” How odd, I thought as he grabbed my ass. I was just violated by an old, drunk, crazy person.
I kept walking, hoping that I wouldn’t find my little friend following me around still and sighed with relief as I sat on a bench, all alone. Crossing my legs, I decided now would be a good time to smoke, since it was safe that no one would be sneaking up on me and as I went into my pocket to grab my pack I went for that number instead. The one that belonged to Paris Hilton, I briefly thought about calling her right there, sitting on a random city bench.
“Why the hell not, right? It’s only one date. You only live once Carter.” I convinced myself as I picked up the phone and dialed the number.
“Stop whining! You act like you’ve never been sick before. Goodness Kevin, I hope you aren’t whining to the boys that much.”
“I’m not whining Kris, I don’t feel good.” She laughed at me.
“Oh really? I hadn’t noticed.”
I could picture her sitting there on the couch with her arm under her head smiling at the phone as she said that. “I only whine to you baby, because I know you love it.”
“Oh Kevin, please don’t attempt to do the phone sex thing again.” Now she was really playing with me. I love her, I miss her. “So did all the guys leave you alone to wallow in your misery?”
“No, actually AJ and Howie have been keeping me company but they just went off to do their own things.”
“Oh so you called me out of boredom then?”
“Naturally.”
“And here I was thinking you called me because you missed me, stupid me.”
“Yeah Kris, you’re a real bonehead.”
“I know what you are, but what am I?”
“A bonehead.”
“Shut it you!” I smiled; she made me instantly feel better. “So are you going to go to the doctor?”
“Nah, it’s only a cold. If I’m not feeling better in a couple of days then I’ll go.”
“Well you rest and drink plenty of fluids.”
“I will…” The door opened and in came Brian all alone. “I’m going to let you go Kris. I love you.”
“Love you too; I’ll call to check on you tomorrow.”
“Feeling any better?” My cousin asked as he made his way in and sat down beside me, “I think soon this couch is going to have your ass groove in it.”
“I’m still feeling like crap, but I needed the rest. Where’s Nick?”
“Out clubbing with some friends.”
“What friends?”
That made Brian laugh, “You act like the kid has no friends. I don’t know he just said he was meeting up with friends.”
“Ugh, I hope that annoying Bean guy isn’t here.”
“Me too.”
“I don’t like a lot of his ‘friends’.”
“I know Kevin. I don’t either, but he’s a grown boy, he can hang out with who he chooses to I guess.”
I sighed and placed my feet on the coffee table, “Yeah, You’re right…so how did it go?”
“We had a good time. Ate some Italian food.”
“Nice.”
“What about you?”
“Just hung with D and AJ. Ate pizza watched television, nothing exciting.”
“Where are D and Bone?”
“In their rooms, which is where I think I’m finally heading.” On that note, I stood up to take my stuffy, miserable self to bed.
“Nighty night cousin, feel better.”
“Thanks.”
“I’m going to go call my wife now.”
I smiled at Brian as I made my way to my room, hoping that tomorrow morning I wasn’t going to wake up feeling worse than I was now, including worrying if I was going to have a Nick headache to contend with.
:O) Thanks for reading! I'll be back next Monday with a new chapter!
