Maybe it’s a full moon…
I was a bit mad…okay well mad is an understatement. Actually I was pissed the hell off that Carter never bothered to show up for AJ’s birthday dinner. I know we were all adults and birthdays just don’t mean as much to us as they did when we were kids but still, this meant a lot to AJ. The first birthday we would all be celebrating together with him being totally sober, and Nick was a no show.
AJ acted like it didn’t matter to him, he totally understood because now that Nick was finally involved with someone again, it made sense that the kid put her before everything else, after all isn’t that what he always did?
I laughed and nodded at AJ but then glanced over at my cousin who looked like his head was going to pop off of his shoulders. If I was mad, it was nothing compared to Kevin. He was beyond mad, and of course he wouldn’t let it drop all night long. Kevin was funny like that. The wise thing to do would be to just drop it, if AJ was willing to play it off then we all should. No reason to totally ruin his night because of one bonehead right? Well no, not right. Whenever there was the slightest pause in conversation, Kevin would start to grumble about irresponsibility and immaturity followed by a healthy dose of selfishness. We all felt the same way, but it was making AJ uncomfortable and pissing me off.
So we had dinner, amongst the grumblings and eye rollings, watch as boner opened his gifts which were all really cheesy and funny and then we said goodnight. I really vented once I got home to my wife, who was waiting up for me with a nice warm cup of cocoa. Have I mentioned how much I love my wife?
“He didn’t even call?” She asked in disbelief.
“Yeah he called and talked to AJ but I have no idea what he said.”
“I can’t believe he would do that…well actually I can.”
“It’s just that he knew how important today was to AJ and he still was a no show. Sometimes I’m this close to giving up on him you know what I mean?” My wife leaned over me as I blew on my cup of hot chocolate and kissed the back of my neck.
“I hope AJ tells him how disappointed he is.” She whispered as she hugged me from behind.
“He won’t, you know that.”
“Then I think you should. He needs to realize that not everything is all about him, you know?”
“I know…I mean he doesn’t always think that way.”
“See? Now you are making excuses for him too.”
“No, I’m not…it’s just that he’s confused…he’s had a hard year and sometimes I honestly don’t think he thinks about things before he does them.”
“He never thinks before he does Brian…I mean think about it, he was almost a no show for OUR wedding because he wanted to go scuba diving with friends. He never even bothered to send us an RSVP.”
“He was only a kid back then and I can’t believe you are still annoyed about that Leigh, seriously, it should bother me more than it does you.” She let go of me pretty quickly and walked away. I know I hit a nerve somewhere, she was really mad at my band mates for the way they treated our wedding and my surgery. When it came to stuff like that, I was more forgiving but I think it’s because I just knew the way we all were.
“Honey, I’m sorry…it’s just that I know Nick and he’s…well… Nick. He doesn’t act like that on purpose. He meant no harm about the scuba thing and there was never a doubt in my mind that he would show up for our wedding. I knew they all would.”
“I really think someone needs to say something to him about this and that horrible woman he’s dating. Can’t he see how bad she is for him?”
“Leigh…” I walked over to her and grabbed her into another hug, hoping that the ill feelings she was sending my way would end upon our touch. “He can’t and I don’t think she’s that bad.”
The move didn’t work because she instantly pulled away from me and walked over to the kitchen table, pulling a magazine into her hands and showing me the cover.
“That’s because you don’t read the tabloids. Just this week Brian your band mate…” That’s what she called Nick when she was annoyed with something he did. He wasn’t Nick my friend, or Nick my little brother, he was Nick my band mate… said to remind me that at the end of the day, the Backstreet Boys were just a job and nothing more. “He was on the front of at least six magazines all with her barely dressed and the two of them sucking each other’s faces off!”
I laughed, which I’m sure didn’t help this little fight we were having and another thing to put on my list of grievances with Carter, a meaningless fight over what exactly?
“Honey why are we fighting about Nick? Isn’t that a bit stupid?” I asked her hoping that suddenly she’d have a light bulb moment and stop the ranting.
She looked back over at me, no smile evident on her face, “No, it’s not stupid because he is a part of your life and my life and our baby’s life. You work with him Brian and if he continually messes up it’s a reflection on not only him but all of you and ME!”
“You? I don’t see how any of this has to do with you.”
Okay that was clearly the wrong thing to say because my ever so calm wife walked over to me, grabbed the cocoa out of my hand and dumped it in the sink, “Maybe that’s the problem right there!” She said before storming out of the room and up the stairs.
I may be a typical male sometimes but I have NO idea what the hell just happened. So, I shrugged and called it a night…on the couch. Nice Nick…thanks a lot!
I have to say I wasn’t very anxious to be at the studio the next morning. Not with all the tension that the night before left us with. I mean we were all good but there was this underlying, uncomfortable tension, ironically the same kind of tension that AJ used to cause after a night of partying.
When things got like this, I hated it. Everyone always turned to me to make things better like I had some magical fairy dust or something. ‘D can make everything better; he’s so sweet and nice.’
Well this nice, sweet D was about ready to give a fake call in sick today so he wouldn’t have to deal with all the drama. Nick…Nick….Nick, sometimes I wanted to kill that child. It’s weird to say, but I had a feeling he wasn’t going to show up the minute he said that Paris wasn’t interested in being around us at all. What’s up with that anyway? I swear the more I hear little tidbits about her from him, the more I dislike her and I honestly try not to dislike anybody we are dating. I try.
On a positive note, my song sounded great on tape like I knew it would. I was so happy to see how receptive they all were to it and to my suggestion that it be a cappella. I’m hoping this one will make the album.
AJ walked in a few minutes after me and that’s when I realized it was too late to back out now. I should have run when I had the chance, stupid sense of responsibility and brain not focusing long enough on me leaving in the first place.
“Hey.” He said, taking off his bright orange scarf and beret he had on his head. I swear sometimes I think he gets up first thing in the morning and just rolls into whatever is lying on his floor.
“Hi there.”
“Are we the first ones again?” I nodded at him.
“Kevin is considering starting a fine for the last person to arrive.”
“I hope it’s him then.” I laughed at J as he took a seat at the console and started fiddling around with the buttons.
“So…”
“I didn’t talk to him last night Howie, he didn’t come home.” That’s how well we knew each other; he absolutely knew I was going to ask how his talk with Nick went. At one point in our dinner conversation yesterday, I once again brought up the fact that I thought maybe Nick wasn’t a good roommate for AJ. He was quick to blow it off in the studio but last night, I could tell maybe he thought I was right.
“Are you going to talk to him about the rooming situation?”
“Probably.”
“Good, I think it’s a good idea. I mean it’s not like he can’t afford his own place.”
“I know, it’s more like he doesn’t want to live alone.”
“Maybe he’ll move in with her then.” Just as I said that, I felt a shiver run down my spine. That thought made me a little nauseous and the look of amusement on AJ’s face made me curious.
“What?”
“You don’t much like Miss Hilton do you?”
“I don’t really have that much of an opinion.”
“Liar.”
“Okay fine, no I don’t really like her and I don’t want him to live with her but I’d rather that then him live with you and have you wanting to drink.”
AJ shook his head at me; I could tell maybe he wasn’t too happy by what I said. “So is that it? You don’t trust me not to drink?”
“I didn’t say that AJ.”
“No you didn’t. Maybe not in those exact words but that’s how I heard it.”
“I do trust you.”
“No you don’t. You think I don’t have enough self control around Nick to refrain from drinking.”
“AJ, that’s not true at all…”
“Whatever man…” He stood up and placed his jacket back on, “I’m going out for a smoke. Let Kevin know I was here before he tries to fine my ass for being late.”
“AJ…I really didn’t mean anything…”
“It’s cool; I know I have to regain your trust. It’s over dude. Just let them know I’m here and I’ll be back.”
“AJ, I do trust you.”
“Sure you do…”
“You want company?”
“No.” I nodded at him as he walked out the door.
What the hell was that all about? Yes, I definitely should have taken that sick day. Good lord maybe it’s not too late to flee the studio after all. The day hasn’t even started yet and already AJ is mad at me and everyone else is mad at Nick.
I seriously did contemplate walking out the door but decided to just leave it be. Instead I turned on our song, full volume and placed the headphones on my head. I’ll just block them all out today if need be.
I figured I would wake up in a better mood and I was right, thankfully. Last night I was so mad, I’m not even really sure why. I know it was dumbass, but still…maybe it was a little of everything. I just think this album thing is starting to stress me out a bit. I also had a fight with my wife about something stupid. I hated the fact that she wasn’t out here with me yet. When we finally all got our own places, Leighanne practically ran out here to be with Brian but my wife sounded almost disappointed by the fact that now I expected her to be by my side.
It’s not like I mean she should drop everything she is involved in and come out to be with me or anything but still, a little fake enthusiasm would have been appreciated. So after having a stupid fight with her, I went to AJ’s party to see that Nick didn’t show up and not only didn’t he show up but he was a no show just because his skanky girlfriend didn’t want to have anything to do with a dry party. What a stupid whore, seriously.
“Hey Kevin.” I looked over at Brian as he was walking from his car at a very quick pace. I bet he was nervous that he was going to be the last person in.
“Hi.”
“Is everyone here yet?”
“I don’t know.” As soon as I said that, he darted past me and ran into the door like he was ten.
“HA! Well if they are, at least I’m not last!”
“Hey not fair Brian!”
He opened the door for me and laughed, at least he was in a good mood as well. Maybe today wouldn’t suck as bad as I thought it would after all. As we walked down the hall I even whistled a little. This took my cousin by surprise.
“I’m glad to see you are in a better mood today.”
“I am, although I have no idea why.” I confessed.
“Same here, I had a huge fight with Leigh last night.” I stopped walking and looked over at him.
“Really?”
“Yup.”
“I had a huge fight with Kris last night.”
“Is she in town?”
“No, and that was the reason for the argument.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, she’s too busy to come here.”
“That sucks.”
“I know.”
I opened the door to the studio we were renting out and was met with the song we worked on yesterday blaring through the speakers. When Howie saw us, he lowered the song and removed one of the headphones from his ear. “Hey.”
“Hello, so is it just you then?”
“Nope, AJ is out back smoking.”
“Of course he is, why would he be anywhere else, and Nick?”
“He’s not here yet.”
“Good, seems fitting that he’d have to pay the first late fee. We should name it the dumbass fee for today.” That got a laugh out of everyone.
“So what did you and Leigh argue about if you don’t mind me asking.”
He shrugged at me, which made me realize that yes he did mind me asking. “Just normal everyday stuff.”
“I wish I could have those fights with my wife.” He laughed again, but then I went ahead and said something stupid, “Maybe if Kris did nothing all day we could have a normal run of the mill fight. That would make life so much easier.”
“Excuse me?” I could tell by the change in his tone and demeanor that he wasn’t happy with what I had just said. In fact, even I wasn’t happy with it but it was out of my mouth before I had a chance to swallow it back up.
“Nothing.”
“No, are you implying my wife doesn’t do anything?”
“I’m not implying it at all Brian, she doesn’t.”
As soon as I said that, Howie’s headphones went right back on his head. He wanted to block us out and I couldn’t blame him, So much for my good mood.
“Sorry if you think raising a child alone half the time isn’t a job…but she does a lot!”
“I know she does, what I meant was that she gets to stay at home.”
“No you didn’t. You said she did nothing.”
“Look, I’m sorry…I really didn’t mean it.”
“Whatever…I think I’m going to go join AJ, it’s suddenly started to stink in here!”
With that being said, he glared at me and walked out the door. I let out a sigh as my cheeks inflated. Nice going Richardson, seriously I’m an ass and a half.
Howie removed his headphones again and I looked over at him, “Don’t’ feel bad…” He said, “I managed to piss off AJ within minutes of his arrival.”
“It must be some hidden talent we possess.” I joked as I ran my hand through my hair.
“If it makes you feel any better Kev…I don’t think Leigh does anything either.” That made me laugh and once I did, Howie winked at me.
When the back door opened I knew it was going to be Brian, he always comes to join me. Goodness no one can live without me can they?
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
The way he returned my greeting made me realize he was escaping someone. Maybe Howie had managed to piss him off too. “What’s up?”
“Nothing really…Kevin just pissed me the eff off.”
I laughed at him, “I can’t believe you just said eff. You are too much sometimes Rok.”
“Not all of us spew curses out of our mouths like you and Nick.”
“I guess…so what did he say to get you that made you ‘almost’ used the F word.”
“Shut up Bone.”
“Sorry man…but that was precious, seriously.”
“He said that Leigh does nothing and he wished his wife did nothing as well.”
“Wow, he said that? Harsh.”
He nodded at me and bit his cheek; he always did that when he was annoyed by something.
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, Howie doesn’t trust me not to drink again.” I took a long drag of my cigarette after I said that.
“What? Where did that come from?”
“He basically told me that before.”
“Really? That seems very unlike D.”
“Just like what Kevin said seems very unlike him.”
“Is there a full moon or something?”
“Quite possibly…” I answered when I saw Nick walking towards us slowly. “Well…look whose trying to sneak in the back way.”
“I don’t blame him, I would too if I blew off one of my best friends on his birthday.”
When he saw us, his head went down. I’m sure if it wouldn’t have been so obvious he would have turned around and walked in the front entrance.
“Hey Nicky.” I said with a full on grin. I wasn’t really that mad at him. The others were madder than I was. I was just kind of disappointed I guess, but very far from mad.
“Hey.” Now he was right next to us, his coffee was wafting into my nostrils making me want to make a run to Starbucks. “Is everyone else here?”
We both nodded at him, “Seems like you’ll be paying the very first Richardson late fee my boy.” Brian said patting him on the back.
“Goody.”
He was wearing sunglasses but something about the tinge that was coming from under them caught my eye. “Nick, do you have a black eye?” I asked him moving towards him and taking his shades off of his face before he knew what was happening. He tried to move away from me but it was too late, I grabbed them off and sure enough there was a huge bruise covering his left eye. “What the hell happened to you?”
“Nothing.”
“You are fighting now? Who did you fight?” Brian was not sounding all too pleased.
“No one, okay? Can we drop it now?”
“No, we can’t. How the hell did that happen Kaos?”
“Paris, we had a fight last night and she clocked me with her purse.”
“What the hell did she have in that thing, a ceramic sink?”
“I have no idea, she just kept walloping me with the damn thing, but it’s all good now, and the make up sex was great.”
I glanced over at Brian and saw that he was looking at me, we both were thinking the same thing but hardly felt like saying it.
“Anyway…I better get inside before Kevin has a cow…oh and AJ…I’m really sorry I missed your birthday. Are you mad?”
“No kiddo, I’m not mad. But you owe me a night of bowling and a pizza.”
He smiled at me, “You got it…maybe tonight after we get done with the studio.”
“Actually, he’s coming over my place tonight.” That’s right, I forgot I was invited to dinner by my wife and her other husband. Nick nodded and looked disappointed. I have a feeling he felt the need to be around me tonight.
“Oh, okay…well another time then. I better get in there.” He pat my shoulder then smiled at Brian before putting his sunglasses back on and walking inside.
“She did that to him?” Brian asked me, looking alarmed and confused and dare a say a tad bit amused as well.
“I guess so.”
“Wow, something tells me this is the beginning of a very rocky relationship.”
“Why does he always hook up with broods that like to be violent?”
Brian shrugged, “Someday we’ll have to ask him for his manual so we can understand what the hell goes through his mind.”
“I’m not sure I really want to know that Rok.”
“Yeah, me either.”
I took one final drag of my smoke then threw it to the ground and stepped on it, “I guess it’s time to get to work.”
“Yup. Let’s go Bone.”
We both walked into the studio, following Nick as he slowly walked down the hall.
I seriously felt so bad for letting AJ down last night. I had every intention of showing up, I really did, but she had other plans. We went from party to party meeting up with all of these people I had no idea who any of them even were. She walked me around on her arm as if I was her stupid ass dog and I was getting madder and madder as the night wore on.
I was also getting more and more drunk, mainly to dull the anxiety I was feeling. I just hate the fact that she is so all over the place; everyone loves and cares about her so much. I mean the press, not people in general.
At around 2 in the morning, I confronted her about it, I told her I didn’t want to be paraded around like some kind of trophy boy and we ended up having a knock down, drag out brawl about it. I said some things I never should have and she retaliated by taking her purse and slamming me over and over again in the face with it.
I seriously thought she was going to knock me out at one point. But luckily she stopped and instead started kissing me. Before I knew what was happening, we ended up rolling around her kitchen table and then the floor, and then the couch and then the bed.
Obviously at that point, AJ was the farthest thing from my mind, until I woke up late this morning. I swear I almost made myself sick thinking about seeing him at the studio today and not just him, all of them.
I’m not dumb, I know they all talked shit about me last night because I didn’t show and I can’t really blame them one bit for it. I would be annoyed too.
I took a nice deep breath before I opened the doors to the studio. They made me feel like a kid again, a kid who was always about to get into trouble. Sure enough when I walked in both Howie and Kevin looked at me, and then put their heads back down.
“You’re late.” Kevin said, in not the kindest of voices.
“I know…sorry.”
“That’s $500 made out to a charity of AJ’s choice since you blew him off last night.”
“Okay, I’ll ask him.” Yup, I felt like a child… a sad and unhappy child.
AJ and Brian came in shortly after the very cold welcome I received and I was grateful for it. There was this weird feeling in the room, as if everyone wasn’t really happy about being there and I hated the fact that I was probably the cause of that.
“Guys, I just wanted to apologize to everyone about being a no show yesterday. I hope we are all good.”
“No need to apologize to us Nick.” Howie said with his headphones on and head down.
“You would think so, but I feel like you are all mad at me so I thought I’d just get it out there.”
“I think we all just woke up crabby Kaos.” Bone said as he pat my head.
I nodded at him and saw that maybe he was right. Maybe everyone was just a little off this morning. “Okay…well I really am sorry AJ.”
“I know man.”
“So are we going to get something done today or not?” Kevin asked giving me one of his smiles. The one that told me even though he thought I was a huge bonehead, he still loved me and instantly I felt better. Funny what one person can do right?
AJ walked over to Howie and gave him a hug as Kevin walked over and did the same to Brian. Maybe some drama occurred while I was gone but I still felt a little left out.
“Why is no one hugging me?”
They all turned to me and laughed. “Because we don’t like you Nick….duh!” Brian said in his gay voice before coming over and giving me a hug.
“Wow we all had a moment didn’t we?” I asked with a half grin on my face, sunglasses still firmly planted on there as well. I’ll be wearing them all day if I had my way.
“Yes we did…okay let’s get to work people!” And on cue, we did just that.
Thanks for reading. :O) I'll be back on Monday with a new chapter!
