Life Sucks and then you go swimming
Well let me tell you, life surely did get interesting after Nick and Paris broke up. You know, most people when they have a bad breakup, they yell and scream at each other, possibly do stupid things like put a pile of flaming pooh on the ex’s doorstep or maybe order fifteen pizzas and watch from a distance when they open the door and try to explain they never placed the order.
I have really been lucky when it comes to dealing with ex girlfriends. I don’t really have all that many and the few that I do, weren’t all that vested in me. We just kind of shrugged and went our own separate ways. Yes, one of them did write a tell all book, but it wasn’t even that juicy. I’m not sure why she even bothered. It’s not like I led this double life or anything. Chances are she just needed the money or wanted her fifteen minutes of fame. I think for her, it was more like five minutes, but whatever. I’ll take Sam over Paris any day.
That brings me back to my first point. What Paris did to Nick following their little break up was just pure evil. It’s like she sat and contemplated what would get to him the most. She knew by accusing him of something horrible it would break him down because she figured out something we all already knew. He was just this vulnerable kid who got hurt very easily even though he tried to act like he was invincible most of the time.
Kevin called me the day after they were accosted outside of that nightclub. He asked me if there were any paparazzi hanging outside of my house, which thankfully, there were not. As he told me what had happened I couldn’t even believe it. It’s been a long time since I’ve been that mad, but boy when I finally got off the phone with my cousin I was ready to punch something.
I explained to my wife what had happened and she couldn’t believe it either. Surprisingly, she didn’t side with the rest of the world for once and said she felt bad for Nick. I’m not sure if she did that solely for my benefit or not, but regardless, I was grateful about that.
We all ended up heading over to Kevin’s that afternoon, deciding not to go to the studio and just to lay low. We knew that reporters would be all over that studio like white on rice and sure enough when Howie called to tell them we weren’t going to be coming, he found out there were about a dozen of them waiting outside.
Our lawyer and PR person issued another statement on behalf of Nick saying he would never do anything like that and that the people that truly know him know he could never be capable of doing anything like that at all.
Yada yada yada…
We all just spent the day trying to calm him down basically. He was a wreck and I couldn’t really blame him although a pretty big part of me wanted to take him aside and shake him. Scream ‘I told you so,’ but the more mature part of me took over. I know sometimes I even shock myself.
What I hated the most when it came to Nick and crisis of any kind was when he was quiet. At least when he was yelling and screaming, punching walls and cussing up a storm we knew how to deal with him. It’s when he was silent that all of us felt helpless and that’s how he pretty much was at Kevin’s place. We all talked and laughed and joked. AJ brought over some stupid Adam Sandler movies and even though we were all peeing our pants from laughing, every time I looked over at Nick he seemed to be looking past the television over at the wall.
We tried to treat the day like any other, just deciding to take a well deserved break from the studio for a few days but we really weren’t fooling anyone. This was a serious situation. It’s not like he was accused of cheating on her or something. It was insinuated that he had actually hit her and not only hit her but beaten the crap out of her. Of course his volatile past didn’t help matters any. They showed some old stock interviews where he kicked at the cameras and said mean things to one of us when he was young and forgot that cameras were rolling. They brought up his arrest at the nightclub where he got into an argument with the police and of course they had to mention the part about him crying.
It was all over the place, very hard to try to forget as I flipped through the channels at home later that night. All of the entertainment programs brought it up and then showed clips of him crying in the front seat of Kevin’s car.
“What is it you show biz types say? There’s no such thing as bad publicity?” Leigh asked as she lay next to me on the couch. It was the fourth time we had come across a report about what had happened. “Seems like Nick has that part down.”
“Us show biz types?” I asked raising my eyebrow at her.
“You better get used to it honey, because the more bad press you guys get, the more people will not be able to tell you from him.”
I let out a sigh and rubbed my hands through my hair. As much as I didn’t want her to be, I knew she was right. Frankly, I was getting kind of tired of all the bad press myself, mainly because it was never me creating it. It did reflect on all of us and it did kind of piss me off from time to time. Maybe I was just tired but I did find myself getting mad at Nick just then and not because I thought he did it because I clearly do not, but more because of his bad decision making.
It really did seem like there was always too much drama going on. And that drama always either involved him or AJ.
“You know what? How about we do something stupid for once? You want to go outside and run around the street naked or something?”
She sat up and gave me a look like I was drunk.
“Come on baby…I mean why should Nick be the only one that does stupid things. Let’s go…I’ll go get the honey and you can bring some feathers. Maybe we can CAW really loudly. Let’s be bird people!” She tried to act like she was angry but she smiled and finally laughed.
“Brian, you’re nuts.”
“I know…but I have to be. It’s a requirement when you are a quote, unquote ‘showbiz’ person.” I also made those sarcastic air quotes to make my point. Did I have a point? God only knows…all I know is I have a huge headache and I’m blaming it on Nick.
I hope he’s okay.
“I hope he’s okay.”
“He’ll be fine Kevin. I’m worried about him to, but he needs his space.”
“I know but…I really wanted him to stay with us for a little bit, you know? I don’t like the way he looked when he left.”
My wife wrapped her arms around me, “He looked fine baby. He was even smiling.”
“I know and that’s what worried me.”
She pulled away from me and walked over and sat down on the couch, motioning for me to follow her. When I sat down she began to rub my knee…I love it when she rubs my knees. “You worry too much Kevin.”
“I know but that’s just how I am.”
“You say that as if I had no idea.” She giggled.
“I know sorry…just force of habit I guess. It’s just that he…well…he worries me sometimes.”
“Only sometimes?” She raised her eyebrow at me. I could tell all of this was amusing her in some way. Not as a diss to Nick, but more of an homage to the way I tend to over exaggerate and worry about everyone all of the time.
“Do you remember that time at Disney…?” I shook my head because I knew exactly where she was going with this.
“Okay…that’s enough.” Of course she ignored that and went on.
“And I told you I’d meet you at the Haunted Mansion at 9:30…”
“Kris…”
“But you thought I said 7:30, so by the time I got there I actually saw missing posters with my face up on them all over the park!!” She started cracking up. That story always brought her into hysterical laughter and forever solidified me as anal. The funniest part about that is the guys don’t know. I told her never to tell them, it would be our little secret and she nodded in agreement. One day she’s going to slip up though, I just know it. Then I will never live it down. Well until one of them does something even stupider and judging from what’s been going on lately I probably wouldn’t have to wait too long.
“Okay well, as far as I was concerned, you were two hours late. You’re this gorgeous girl that anyone could have just run off with.”
“You say that as if I couldn’t stick up for myself.”
“I didn’t mean that…I did the same thing for…”
“Nick, yes I remember. I was with you, he was late and you guys had no clue where he was.”
“But you convinced me not to worry.” I said looking over toward her.
“And what happened?”
I let out a sigh, which once again made her laugh. “He showed up about fifteen minutes later.”
“Exactly sweetheart.”
“But Kris…”
She placed her hand up to my lips, “You have to give him some credit Kevin. I know things are bad for him but he’ll be okay. Let him have his space…besides, isn’t AJ there with him anyway?”
“Yeah…I think Howie is there too.”
“So? Why are you worried?”
“Because it’s…”
“What you do.” She finished for me. For now though Nick suddenly became the farthest thing from my mind as I led my wife down to the floor, moving the coffee table out of our way as she giggled.
“So what do you want to do? Have any idea?” I looked over at Howie and shrugged. It’s weird but ever since we all got back together I kind of felt like I was a teenager again. Is that odd to say?
Okay I know I didn’t explain that well enough so let me try this again. See, when we first got together, I was young. Not innocent because…well please. But young still the same. And many times when we would be just kind of waiting around for rehearsal or vocal practice, I’d look over at D and ask him what he wanted to do. We were always so bored and always had so much time on our hands at first. I remember always complaining about that until ‘poof!’ suddenly our lives exploded into a huge chaotic mess which only slowed down about 5 years ago.
Now we’re back at square one. Thinking back to the last time we worked on an album, we could have never done what we’re doing now. There was no way Jive or anyone else for that matter would have just let us take the day or the week off because of what they would have worded as ‘a little bad press’.
They would have completely made us go in there and suck it up because the album would have to come out on time otherwise everyone would forget we existed. Those were Jive’s words not mine.
So, it kind of bothered me that no one had a problem with us saying we weren’t coming in. It’s like we just weren’t as important anymore. We decided to take the entire week off. After the first time we did it, you remember…when Brian decided that he would just leave? I still love him for that.
Anyway…
Kevin relaxed a little, seeing that the earth didn’t implode on itself, so when I suggested we take the entire week off for Nick’s sake, I was met with 4 unison nods. Well okay three. Nick wasn’t nodding at all. In fact, I don’t even think he was listening to a word anyone was saying.
Just like the good old days…
“I don’t know, what do you think?”
I shrugged at Howie as I took out a cigarette. He gave me that disgusted ‘you’re ruining your voice and life by smoking those horrible things’ look. I didn’t care, an AJ without nicotine is not an AJ anyone wants to be around.
“Maybe we should ask Nicky what he wants to do.”
“We could but you know sulking is not my idea of fun.” He laughed at me. It’s true though. Come on…we all know that’s what Nick’s big plan is tonight and every other night until this all blows over. He’s probably lying in his bed right now, head under the covers and sighing.
“Maybe we can play some video games; I haven’t done that in forever.”
“You?” I gave Howie a weird look. I have never in my life heard him say he wanted to play a video game. Am I in some weird alternate universe again?
“I play a mean Donkey King.”
“It’s Kong Howie.”
“Oh right, well you know what I mean.”
“Do you even know what you mean?” He bat at my head and I ducked.
“What do you suppose he’s doing in there? Think he went to bed already?”
“I don’t know.” I decided to slide back into my comfy chair and put my feet up.
“Why do you think she would do something like that? I mean does she really need the attention that much to say something as horrible as that?”
“She’s an attention whore.”
“She’s not a very nice person.”
“That’s the understatement of the century D.”
“Why does he always set himself up by going out with women like that?”
I shrugged at him again, “They say you tend to go for people that remind you of your mother.”
“That does explain a lot I guess because she’s as much of an attention hound as Paris is.”
I nodded, not like I could argue with that one. I am going to let you in on a secret, I friggin’ hate Nick’s mother. Okay maybe that’s not really a secret but still it needed to be said. You know I’m sure she’s seen him all over the news and she hasn’t even called him once. Neither of his parents or anyone else in his family has for that matter.
My mother called when she saw it. She called and yelled at me! And after she was done yelling at me about what a horrible witch that Paris Hilton was and how stupid could he be for dating her, didn’t he realize this was going to happen…on and on and on…she ended with a ‘by the way, I hope you are watering the plants I gave to you.’ Only my mother, I swear. That made me glance over to the plants…the very very dead plants now sitting on the window sill. Yup, I’ll be paying for that one.
“Did anyone from your family call when they saw him on the news?”
Howie nodded and rolled his eyes, “My sister called and my mother and my brother. They all wanted to tell me just in case I hadn’t heard about it.” He laughed under his breath.
“I don’t think his family has called.”
“They might have…” He answered me with his optimistic smile.
‘True, but I doubt it.”
“Yeah, me too.” His smile faded as he sat all the way back and put his feet up. What a copy cat!
I heard the bedroom door open and gave Howie a glance. You know, it’s a wonder he didn’t turn out even more messed up than he already was, with the way his family acted. “She’ll probably call the tabloids before she calls him.” I said when I heard the door to the bathroom click closed.
“Yeah, unfortunately you’re probably right about that one too.”
“How long do you think it’ll take for this to blow over?”
“I don’t know, but we can’t hide forever.”
“Do you feel like no one cares about us or this album?”
He looked over at me as if he was surprised by my question. I guess it was a little ‘now what does that have to do with anything’ ish.
“They cared enough to report about this on all the stupid entertainment shows”
“Yeah, but its Paris…I’m talking in general D…you know? Like does anyone care we are even making an album? I mean how come Jive isn’t all up in arms that we’re taking a break?”
“We’ve moved way down on their priority list AJ, but that doesn’t mean that no one cares…believe me if we keep postponing going back into the studio…they’ll say something.”
The bathroom door clicked opened again and out came Nick, in his sweats and ‘I’m a loser’ tee shirt. No, I’m not making that up, when he’s bummed that’s what he wears. It’s a tee shirt that says I’m a loser.
I’m such a loser. I rubbed my shirt as if to confirm that fact as I made my way into the living room to join AJ and Howie. I was in such a weird mood. Part of me wanted to be alone, just lie in bed all day and stare up at the ceiling, not giving a fuck about anything. But there was that other part of me, the one who hated being alone. He won this time around.
They both looked up at me with the most pitiful expressions on their faces. I almost turned and walked back into my room….almost.
I instead plopped down on the couch beside Howie, “Hey.” I said in a half sigh, half yawn.
“How are you doing?”
“I’ll live.”
“We were just trying to decide what to do. Howie said he’d like to play some Donkey King.” Howie went to slap at AJ but missed him.
“I don’t care…just sitting is fine.”
“So that’s your big plan this evening Nick? Sitting?”
“Yeah…maybe I’ll stand and get some food later, for now sitting works for me.”
They both shrugged, “Sounds fun…wow we really know how to live it up don’t we?” I laughed at Howie, but secretly I wanted him to leave. AJ too, but then again why because the second they were gone I’d be wanting them to come back. Good lord I’m so messed up!
I had to snap out of this little funk I was in because it wasn’t doing anyone any good, especially me. When I get like this, there are always two things I want to do, one is just lie in bed all day long and never get up and the other is getting myself so wasted I couldn’t even tell the difference between laying down or sitting up.
I was glad I had a few beers in the dorm fridge in my room. I guzzled them down so quick it almost scared me. It actually did scare me, because I was drinking solely for the purpose of getting drunk. I haven’t done that in a long time. Don’t get me wrong, I drink a lot but I’m a social drinker. I’m the kind of drinker that gets drunk and doesn’t even realize it. AJ, well he was an alone kind of drinker. That was the difference between the two of us, not today though.
If I had some Jack in my room I probably would have guzzled an entire bottle down just to make all of this stress I was feeling go away. That’s what scared me and made me end up seeking my friends.
I’m sure I will talk to AJ about that later on; he’s the only person on earth I could talk to about that. Everyone else would just judge. “You know, the two of you can go out if you want. You don’t have to baby-sit me, unless you just plan on waiting around to see how long it takes before I do something stupid.”
AJ sat up and stretched his arms over his head before plopping back down again. “We aren’t babysitting you and stop putting yourself down. I hate when you do that.”
“I didn’t put myself down.”
“Niiiick.” He said in his ‘you know I’m right so shut up’ tone.
“Anyway…like I said you guys should go out and have some fun, don’t feel like you need to stay here on my account.”
I wasn’t sure what I wanted to happen really. But I’m glad that neither of them moved to leave. “I kind of like the sitting down thing. I should do this more often. It’s kind of fun.” Both AJ and I laughed as Howie placed his hands behind his head and nestled himself into the pillows of the couch.
“Dude let me know if you find my hat while you’re in there.”
“What?” That brought Howie back out of the pillows.
“I did that the other day and the couch sucked off my hat. I swear it was trying to eat me.”
“I lost a roast beef sandwich in there once.” I joked and it was only a joke but it was enough to make Howie stand up and move to a different chair. Yay that was a fun game I thought to myself as I extended my hand up to AJ’s for a high five.
“Oh the two of you think you’re so funny don’t you?” D asked pretending to be annoyed.
“We know we’re funny Howard.”
“You guys want to go swimming?” I suddenly had the spontaneous need to go jump in a pool.
“I don’t have a suit with me, but the two of you can, I’ll come and stick my feet in the water.”
I smiled over at AJ, hoping he wanted to join me in the pool. “Come on AJ!”
“But I don’t feel like getting wet.”
“Aw come on!”
Yes, I decided that going into the pool would make me feel much better and if not maybe I could just hold my breath and see how long it would take for me to drown. Although I guess one doesn’t drown when one holds their breath, it’s the not holding the breath that leads to the drowning, right? Maybe I shouldn’t ask that might make them paranoid.
“Okay fine!”
“You are the man AJ!”
“I know…now I just have to find my bathing suit.”
“Didn’t you lose it in the couch?”
“What is it with you two and losing things in your couch?”
“It’s a big couch.” I said smiling at Howie.
I was in a good mood and I’m not really sure why. It’s like my brain just shut off all the bad feelings or something. Whatever the case, I was going to take advantage of the situation before the ho hum feelings came back.
For now, I was going swimming and I was going to have fun dammit!
“And you’re both right, my family hasn’t called yet.” I wasn’t going to say anything to them. I was just going to pretend that I hadn’t heard them talking about me. But sometimes, it’s a good thing to make them aware of, right?
They both looked at each other, “Its okay guys…I just wanted to let you know, that’s all.”
“I’m sure they will Nick.”
“No, I doubt it Howie, unless they can find a way to profit from the situation I won’t be hearing from them.” That’s one of the things that was bugging me I admit. I was here when AJ’s mother called him. She had left him a message minutes after the first report came out, even before the night club disaster. She told me to keep my chin up high…well not me but on the answering machine because I wasn’t going to pick up the phone.
It hurt that my family didn’t care enough to call, even if it was to just find out what happened. It made me realize how alone I really was. Well, there goes the happy mood. Fuck a duck!
Of course as I was heading into my bedroom to change into my bathing suit, I heard my mother’s name clear as day on the television. It was either impeccable timing or horrible timing. All I heard was “Jane Carter defends her son…” Before Howie turned the volume down.
I acted like I hadn’t heard anything as I shut the door to my room, downing another beer before I made my way out in my bathing suit. Maybe if I was lucky I would drown.
