Divine Intervention
I could have stayed in this position forever. On the floor of our living room with my wife sleeping next to me, cradled in my arms as I looked up into the sky from our sunroof. This was what God had intended for me, so peaceful and tranquil. I hugged her tighter right then, smiling when I felt her naked bosom hit my chest. We had the best sex right in this very position on the floor. For some reason, the bed just didn’t cut it for us, maybe because we both liked to roll all over the place like two Weebles. Good lord did I just describe my wife and I as a pair of Weebles?
I loved her and didn’t want her to leave again. I wish there was a way she could always be right here next to me. I know it was a stupidly selfish way to think but in reality what husband wouldn’t want the woman of his dreams right by his side? I admit it took me a little bit of time to realize that Kris was the woman of my dreams but once I woke up to that reality, I never looked back.
I felt so much love for her right then and there I almost started to cry. I’m sentimental, deal with it. Of course that’s also when the phone rang. I quickly wiped at my eyes when she rolled over on her side, “Are you going to get it?” She asked in her half sleep.
It was dark in the room as I searched for my watch. I had no idea what time it was but I hated getting calls in the middle of the night, even though I know it wasn’t really all that late at all.
“Maybe I’ll just let it ring.” I said as I forced myself to sit up.
“What if it’s important?”
“Than they’ll call back.”
“Good point.”
And it was, I nodded at myself and smiled when the phone stopped after the fifth ring. Sometimes I wish I kept my answering machine on at all times but my mother trained me not to do that. She said it was rude to not pick up the phone and listen to the answering machine while you were right there. She said it was a form of deceit and she’s probably right, although she did say this way before I became famous and had random people calling her house looking for me. I’m pretty sure she has her answering machine on all the time now, but I still don’t. How ironic is that?
The phone started ringing again.
“Damn it!”
Kris laughed, “Honey, just answer it.”
“What if it’s your agent telling you that you need to leave right now!”
“Like that would happen.”
“Weirder things have happened.”
“Oh, like?”
“Uh, do you want to wait while I go grab my list?”
I fell back down towards her and started to tickle her as the phone continued to ring in the background, “Why on earth don’t you hang up? Can you not tell we aren’t here or better yet that we don’t want to talk to you?”
“I’ll get it.” Kris moved from underneath me faster than I could stop her, fully exposing her nakedness to me and God under the moonlight.
When she saw me staring at her she pretended to be embarrassed and covered herself up with one of our throw pillows. “Staring is not polite Kevin.”
“Sorry, I just can’t help it, you’re beautiful.”
She winked just as she said hello and then when I heard the ‘oh hi AJ.’ I groaned a little bit louder than she would have liked.
“Yes, he’s here…hang on a second…no you didn’t interrupt anything sweetheart.”
She’s too nice.
She walked over and handed me the phone, “I’m going to go put some clothes on and make us a late night breakfast.”
“Sounds great babe, I love you.”
“Love you too.”
I shook my head before turning my attention to the phone, “Hi.”
“I did interrupt didn’t I?” He sounded anxious about that.
“Well just a tip there Sparky, when no one answers the phone after about the tenth ring that means yes, we’re busy.”
“Sorry dude.”
“What’s up?” I couldn’t help but smile. These guys as much as they bugged me just had a way of cracking me up. Just like little brothers.
“Well…I wasn’t going to call you but then I figured I really should because well…”
“AJ you’re stammering…tell me what the hell did he do now?”
“Dude how did you know this was going to be about Nick?”
I rubbed at my temples, why did he even have to ask me that question, “Just because…is he okay? Did something happen?”
“He is drunk.”
“You called me because Nick is drunk? Jesus, tell me he didn’t go out. You didn’t let him leave did you?”
“No, actually Howie is here too, but dude…he jumped off the roof into the pool totally wasted and the worst part…”
“That’s not the worst part?” Why did I answer the phone? Oh right…I didn’t!
“He was drinking in his room Kev. I mean just by himself alone in there.”
“Is he okay? Did he drown?”
“Yes Kevin he drowned, I thought I’d just calmly come in and make a call as he floats in the pool face down.”
“You’re a real riot AJ.”
“He’s okay dude. He’s in the pool splashing Howie even now as we speak.”
“Does he know you called me?”
“No way. What do you want me to do Kevin?” ‘
“What do I want you to do?”
“Yeah, I mean should I tell him to come to the phone or what should I do?”
“You should make sure he doesn’t drown…I’ll be over in a little bit, okay?”
“You don’t have to come over Kevin everything’s under control.”
My wife made her way back into the living room, now fully dressed which was a bummer for me. “If everything is under control why did you even bother to call me?”
There was silence on the other end of the line. I could actually hear AJ’s brain working out the answer to that question. “I don’t know…I think it’s just instinct dude.”
I nodded at the phone, “Yeah, probably...” It was then that I looked over at my wife once more. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to leave but part of me said I almost had to, even if it was just for a little while. “Get him out of the pool and try to sober him up.”
“Yeah, we’ll do that.”
“And tell him I’m coming over there in a little bit to talk to him.”
“I don’t know if I want to do that.”
“Yeah, maybe you shouldn’t.”
“Thanks Kevin.”
“Sure thing, see ya in a little bit.”
“And I’m sorry again for bothering you.”
“Uh huh.”
When I hung up the phone Kris knew instantly what I was going to say, “Nick?”
I nodded, “I’m sorry Kris, you know I can always just blow him off.”
“No you can’t. He needs you and besides, think of it as good practice for when we have one of our own.”
“Oh God!”
“At least you have the parenting a teenager thing down.”
“Yeah, only he’s not a teenager anymore.”
“He needs you Kevin and I kind of love that about him and about you.”
“Yeah? Well don’t let him know that otherwise he’ll expect a threesome some day.”
She laughed and all I did was shake my head as I stood up to get dressed and go over to Nick’s place. She whistled at me and my naked butt as I walked by. I love my wife.
I sat on the edge of the pool and watched Nick swim back and forth. Whenever he got close to me he splashed me, in typical Nick fashion. “Come back in Hooooowieeeahhh”
“Maybe in a little bit.”
“Look, I speak whale…Hoooooowiiiiiieeeeeeeyyyyyyyyaaaaaahhhh.” He ducked his head under the water and then came out and spit some up in the air. I think we have already established that this child wasn’t right in the head, but I do believe the ‘whale speak’ now makes that crystal clear.
“What the hell is he doing?” AJ finally came back outside and sat down next to me.
“Speaking whale apparently.”
“Oh.”
“AaaaaaaaaaJaaaaaahhhhh Heeeelllloooowwww.”
“Dude, you’re friggin nuts.”
He swam over towards us once again and I was sure we’d get splashed but surprisingly he didn’t do that, “Are you still mad at me? I knew it would be safe otherwise I wouldn’t have done it AJ.”
I had to say it was kind of amusing to watch AJ in the fatherly role. I mean I was kind of surprised how he freaked out about the roof thing. Even I didn’t freak out that badly. Maybe because I was used to seeing Nick do dumb things, although AJ should be used to that too.
“I’m not mad; it’s just that you could have broken your neck Nick.”
“Neck Nick…Necknick…Necknickalickalicka.” Keep in mind Nick was saying this as if he had never heard those words before. He was also tilting his head back as he spoke and tried to make himself sound like a monster of some kind. Yeah I know…but he was.
“Dude the scariest part of this is, you would even be doing that if you were stone cold sober.”
“I am sober AJ.”
He pouted as he once again swam to the other end of the pool. “I called Kevin.” He said once Nick was out of ear range.
“Why?”
“I don’t know, instinct maybe? He was having sex with his wife.”
“Nice, and he answered the phone?”
“I guess they were done…although she answered the phone so maybe she was bored.”
I laughed, “So what did he say?”
“He’s coming over.”
“Uh oh…I guess I’m going to leave before that happens.”
“No way, you are sticking around just incase I have to pick up dead bodies.”
“Was he mad?”
“I don’t know…I mean maybe? He sounded more concerned than mad.”
“What are you guys talking about?” Nick asked as he, you guessed it, splashed us both.
“Just stuff.”
“What kind of stuff?”
“Stuff stuff…come on why don’t you get out of there and let’s eat something. I’m starving.”
“So, go eat, I’m in the pool because I felt like swimming…I thought you guys were going to keep me company.”
“Uh…what do you think we’re doing now?”
“Being boring.”
“I was doing headstands before, you missed it.”
“My bad.”
Sometimes I was amazed at how deep our conversations were when we all sat down and talked…not! “D, why are you laughing? What is so amusing to you?”
I looked over and shook my head at the blonde, “You are.”
“I am a funny little fuck aren’t I?”
“Yes Nicky, a funny little fuck indeed.”
“Hoooooweeeeyaaaah just saayaaaaaaaad, Foooooooooookaaaaahhhhhh!”
AJ started laughing about that as well. It’s not like I don’t ever curse but compared to these two I’m sure I must seem like a saint. Not as holy as Brian but still…a saint. “Come on Nick, out of the water.”
“Okay fine…be that way.” Nick put his hand up to AJ so he could be helped out of the water. Of course AJ would have the common sense to realize that if he took Nick’s hand he would end up in the pool, right?
“Dammit!” Okay maybe not right.
“I can’t believe you fell for that Bone!” Nick said as AJ emerged from below the surface of the water.
“Yeah me either.” I said as Nick then felt inclined to hold his hand out to me….yeah I’m so sure.
“Wow, see? Even D didn’t fall for that!”
“Hey!” I shook my head at Nick as he finally came out of the water with a soaking wet and annoyed AJ following behind him.
“So tell me why you picked me up again?” I asked my cousin who seemed like a man on a mission.
“Because I felt like we should all be over there talking to him.”
“You really think he needs an intervention?”
“Brian, I have no idea what he needs. All I know is maybe you will be able to get through to him. He tunes me out.”
I laughed, “Wow Kevin, I never thought I’d actually hear you say that.”
“It’s true; he’s been doing it for years.” He said that as if this was a big surprise. I think the only one that would have been surprised by it was Kevin himself.
“So he jumped off the roof?”
“Yes Brian, how many times do I have to tell you that?”
“Hey, don’t get pissy with me…I’m just trying to assess the situation so I know what I’m dealing with.”
“Sorry…I’m just frustrated; I mean what if it’s AJ all over again and…”
“It won’t be… AJ was different.”
“All AJ needed to go totally over the edge was for his grandmother to die. What if this stupid ass whore is what finally does it to Nick?”
“Kevin, he’s not AJ.” I placed my hand on his shoulder for reassurance. I was amazed at how much love and concern Kevin had for all of us.
“I hope you’re right.”
“I am.”
He rarely let people see this side of him, even the other guys. Well the two little ones anyway. Howie and I usually saw this side, the concerned Kevin, the one that doesn’t lecture but speaks through his thoughts and actions. He luckily saved the pissed lecture-ish side for the other two. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing that tonight.
I was glad I got to slip out of the house tonight since Leigh’s friends were over anyway. They dropped by unannounced and I hate being the only guy in the room. Plus it took the pressure off of me having to explain to her where I was going. All I said was I’m going out with my cousin. It seemed enough of an explanation to please her.
“I just want him to be okay, you know what I mean?”
I nodded at him as he continued, “He takes everything to the extreme, he’s like a child trapped in an adult’s body.”
“We’ll talk to him, let him know we’re there and that’s all we can do Kevin, it’s not like he’s a kid anymore.”
“I know.” He said but I could tell that in his mind when he pictured Nick he did see that small and innocent 14 year old boy that we all felt the need to protect all the time.
“I’m going to suggest we hang out, just the two of us tomorrow night.”
He looked over at me and smiled. “That’s a great idea.” And that’s when I knew why I was being brought along. He wanted Nick and I to reconnect, he needed us to.
“Let’s hope he does to.”
“I’m sure he will.”
I wish I was sure. Our relationship had gotten better since we all reunited but still it wasn’t exactly how it used to be, and I don’t really think it ever will be again. Those days are long gone, which is sad in a way. I know it’s sadder for him than it is for me. I had so many wonderful things in my life, what did Nick have exactly?
We drove the rest of the way in silence…
I didn’t like how oddly quiet everyone had become since getting out of the pool and making our way inside. The three of us sat around the coffee table with a big bag of chips and salsa, eating but not saying anything. “Why are you guys so quiet?” I finally asked.
They both looked at me and shrugged, “Not sure…just tired from being thrown in the pool I guess.”
“J, you aren’t mad at me about that now too are you?”
He rolled his eyes, “No, I’m not mad at you about anything dude.”
“You are pissed I jumped off the roof.”
“That was dumb.”
“Yeah it was, I won’t do it again daddy, I promise.”
The doorbell rang which had me looking at the clock on the wall. “Who would that be now? It’s really late.” I said, wondering if maybe Chris had unexpectedly dropped in for a visit or something but when I saw both of them look at each other, I knew instantly who was on the other side of that door.
“Traitors!” I said as I shook my head and greeted Kevin…oh and Brian. Nice, I was being double teamed.
“Hey there buddy, mind if we come in?”
“I suppose you were just in the neighborhood?” I asked as sarcastically as possible, making sure to glare over at AJ and Howie. Not even sure why.
“Something like that.” Kevin said as he barreled in past me. Brian placed his hand on my shoulder as he walked in. Whatever was going on, I didn’t much like it.
They both sat down after saying their hellos to Howie and AJ and I was almost tempted to call it a night. Let the four of them play Parcheesi or something, whatever it was they had to say, I didn’t want to hear it. “I wasn’t drunk.” I found myself saying out loud. I knew that’s why they were here. Stupid AJ probably ratted me out. For as long as I’ve known him he’s been a tattle tale.
“Okay, well since you’re getting right to the point…” I crossed my arms defensively in front of me as Kevin quickly took over. “Why would you jump off a roof into a pool sober or drunk for that matter?”
“I can’t believe the two of you are here because of that! Good almighty Christ, it was no big deal!”
“It is if you drink before you do something like that.”
“I wasn’t drinking.”
“Then what are these?” AJ asked as he pulled some empty beer cans out of his ass it seemed like.
“Wow, what a great parlor trick AJ, you got anything else up your ass you want to pull out? How about a new car?” I was pissed off! First of all how dare he go into my room and go through my garbage? Second of all…how in the hell is it his business?
“Nick….”
“No, don’t Nick me…I drank a few beers okay? I have had a hellish week and I know it’s not nice to drink in front of you!” Yes I was directing my anger at my roommate, “So I drank in my room.”
“That’s fine, but then why deny it?” Kevin asked as if it was him I was even talking to.
“Oh I don’t know, probably because I didn’t feel like dealing with a three hour lecture…my bad I guess.”
“Nick we care.”
I had a headache suddenly, it came out of nowhere. How in the hell did this happen? All I wanted was to just have fun and go in the pool. How did this suddenly become the world against Nick?
“All I wanted was to…” And that’s when I broke down. God I HATED when I did that! I took a deep breath determined to keep going, “All I wanted was to go swimming…I’m going through hard shit right now, so I drank a few beers, so I jumped into the pool, so what? Can’t you guys just leave me be?”
The only one looking at me was Brian. Everyone else had their heads down. “I’m going to bed.” I told him.
I was waiting for someone to tell me not to go, but no one did so I turned and made my way to my room, where as much as I wanted to drink again, I knew I wouldn’t. I can’t believe them. I can’t believe AJ even called Kevin, God; do they trust me so little? Do they really think I’m that much of an ass? Of course they do and do you know why Nick, because you are one.
I was just about to sit down on my bed when there was a knock on my door. “Here it comes.” I huffed under my breath, fully expecting to see Kevin standing there in all his righteous glory.
“Can I come in?” Instead I got Brian.
“Sure.”
“Look Nick….I’m sorry if it seems like everyone is ganging up on you.”
“I’m a fuck up Brian.” I admitted to my old best friend just like I used to back in the day. He came all the way inside and sat on my bed.
“No you’re not Nick. You’re just going through something bad right now. It’ll pass…I wanted to ask you something.”
“What?”
“I hope you don’t think I’m being too forward and I wanted to do this on the sly so this way the others wouldn’t hear.” Oh Jesus, what now?
“Okay, what is it?”
“Easy there buddy, no need to sound like you’re going to chew my head off.” I guess I did sound a little standoff-ish.
“I wanted to know if you wanted to go out with me tomorrow night.”
What the fuck? He laughed when he saw the perplexed look on my face. I have to admit, I wasn’t expecting that one.
“Well? Don’t say I left you speechless.”
“Brian…are you asking me out on a date?”
“Kind of...tee hee hee.” Okay and they thought I was drunk? “See the thing is, the last time we tried this, we did dinner and then you left me. I want us to spend the whole night together this time.”
“Okay first you ask me out and now you’re propositioning me? That’s not a very Christian like thing to do.” I smiled at him. He managed to make me go from totally angry as all hell to actually happy? What the hell?
“Yes, if you’ll have me. What do you say Frack?”
“Frack? Wow you haven’t called me that in years.”
“I know.” I sat down next to him.
“Will Leighanne mind?”
“She’s going to her parent’s house for a few days with Bay so I have the whole place to myself.”
“Sure thing Brian…I’ll go out with you.”
“Good, it’s a date then. Bring extra clothes this way you can just spend the night…just like old times.”
I almost started crying again, I felt like at any minute stupid ass Ashton Kutcher was going to come in and tell me I was being Punk’d. He put an arm on my shoulder, “It’s going to be okay you know. Everything always works out in the end. How many times have I told you that?”
“Too many.” I admitted as he tousled my hair and laughed.
He stood up to leave, “If they ask, tell them I gave you a stern talking to young man. Be at my place tomorrow afternoon.”
“Afternoon? A lunch date?”
“An all day date.” He winked at me and left.
It was so weird that still after all these years; he had the ability to make me feel like things would get better and instead of going to bed dreading tomorrow, I went to bed excited about it.
