From one boy’s eyes…
For the love of all that’s holy, would someone kill me please and take me out of this misery? Every damn muscle in my body aches and is pulsating. My butt is pulsing as if it’s a clock. It feels kind of cool in a freaky way, but still, it hurts like hell!
Kevin is the devil!
“Nick what the hell are you doing?”
AH! Oops. “Um….nothing.”
“Yes you did!”
“Dude, I think he just made horns and hissed at you…but I could be mistaken.” I shook my head at AJ, who was sitting on the floor pretending to be hurt. Hurt my ass…he’s totally fine. I bet I’ll catch him outside later pogo sticking or something.
“I thought I heard a hissing sound. I figured maybe his ass exploded or something.”
They all cracked up at Kevin’s crappy joke. Ha ha ha really funny….he’s a real comedian that one. Good lord I think I’m going to die right now. I decided to fall to the floor a bit over dramatically to make my point. What? Sometimes you have to do what is necessary to make your point.
“See, maybe if you didn’t eat doughnuts for breakfast every morning you’d be able to stand up for more than ten minutes without falling over Chubby.” And here comes the nicknames. You know, I hate when Kevin does this. Seriously, I’ve had weight issues my entire life. I know I’m a big guy, there’s no need to be mean about it.
“That was mean.” I answered as Brian extended a hand to help me off the ground.
“It’s called tough love kiddo.”
“Some call it love, others call it verbal abuse.”
“Oh stop it.”
I crossed my arms in front of me, “I did fine…”
“I think we all did considering how long it’s been.” Howie finished my sentence because he probably sensed an oncoming fight between me and bushy brows. He sounded out of breath and ready to fall too but Kevin wouldn’t ever call him chubby would he? No…only me. Okay so what if Howie is barely 150 pounds soaking wet, he was still out of shape, so there!
“We did do well, but we should be able to do better so starting today I’m cracking down on us.”
“Oh joy,” Said the gimpy one on the floor. Next he’ll fake a tongue injury that will only enable him to eat ice cream or something.
“Kevin…”
“Nicky…we need to do this, so starting today no fast food or sweets for you either. Got it?”
“You are not the boss of me!” Oh my God, did I just say that? What am I like 15 or something?
Brian let out a huge laugh; I could tell he was just thinking the same thing. “I’m not the boss of you but I’ll kick your ass just the same.” Ooookay then, healthy food it is. Seriously, when Kevin was in this frame of mind I was not about to argue with him. Damn him!
“Don’t call me Chubby…I hate when people call me fat or chubby.”
He smiled at me and pat my back. “I won’t Nick, sorry about that. I know it bothers you, I was just in the moment and sometimes I can be a little bit intense.”
“You think?” That was me being sarcastic.
“I just want this to go perfect, you know? We have to do everything right this time around.”
“We will Kevin, you worry too much sometimes.” I nodded at Brian, he was right. Kevin did worry too much and all the time!
“Maybe, but I just think it’s important we all go into this thing both physically and mentally ready. It’s been a long time guys.”
We all nodded at him as slowly, the rest of my band mates began to drop down to the floor. Once they were down, he joined us. But of course only half squatting because he’s Kevin. “I can’t believe it’s all finally going to happen again. It seemed like it would never get here but now here it is.”
“I know dude…what’s weird is this feels like the first time for me.” We all looked over at AJ. Well almost everyone. I have to admit I looked at him for a second but then grimaced in pain and started rubbing at my leg.
“How so?” Howie asked him.
“Well, all the other times we have done this I was out of it, you know?”
“Every single time?”
“Okay maybe not every single time, but enough to not remember what it’s like.”
I thought about what AJ had said and in that moment, it was so odd but I just kind of had a revelation. It was like; wow…we are actually going through with this. I have to say I never thought I’d see this day come. I had my doubts about us getting back together and doing this thing again. At first I didn’t want it to happen at all, and then I wanted it to happen so badly I almost wanted to cry when everyone kept putting it off.
We did it, we came back and made another album and for what it’s worth, I think it’s a great one. “What’s going on in your head?”
I looked up to notice them all staring at me. “Huh?”
“You’re just sitting there with a dumbfounded look on your face.”
“Oh, I was just thinking about how happy I am that we’re all together again, that’s all.”
“That was sweet Nickolas Gene.”
“Thanks Brian.”
“So no more fast food or junk food for the time being okay guys? I’m really serious about this. Let’s try to stay healthy for as long as possible.”
“Food has nothing to do with health.” Why did I just say that? Maybe I just wanted a Kevin lecture?
“You did not just say that did you?”
“No, I did not.” Thanks for letting me redeem myself Howard, I owe you one.
“Nick, you tend to get sick so easily buddy and it’s because you don’t exercise or take care of yourself the way you should. Eating properly is all a part of that.”
I let out a huge sigh…probably bigger than I should have. Tonight was ‘let’s revert back to being fifteen’ night for me. “Duh, I know that Kevin.”
“So, does that mean that you don’t care then? Because I know I care and I shouldn’t care more about you than you do.” Oh my God…I am having flashbacks!
“I do care Kevin but I am indifferent I guess.”
“Yeah, we know that. But you need to NOT be indifferent Nick, seriously because when you’re sick you eventually get us all sick. It’s a sick cycle.”
“A sick cycle? I swear to God you sit up late at night trying to come up with new and inventive terms to feed in to your anal ness.”
We were greatly amusing the other three guys who just sat there silently, looking at the floor we were all sitting on and trying their hardest not to laugh. “I am going to be watching you like a hawk Nick Carter!”
I rolled my eyes at him, “Kevin…I…ugh, never mind I’m too tired to argue.”
“You wouldn’t be if you were more in shape.”
He stood up and patted the back of his sweaty ass neck with a smug look on his face. He thought he had won this round but he was wrong. I was only letting him think he had the last word. “So are we done for the day then because I told Leigh I’d be meeting up with her for dinner.”
“I hope you’re going somewhere healthy Howie otherwise doctor Kevin will get on your case.”
“I don’t have to get on Howie’s case, he takes care of himself.”
Ugh! Why was it whenever Kevin was in a foul mood, I was the subject of his ridicule? And yes, he was in a foul mood. I think we all kind of picked up on it eventually. “What’s eating your ass anyway?”
“Pardon?” He was now sipping on water as he placed his sweaty towel neatly on the chair next to him.
“You seem annoyed.”
“I’m not annoyed.”
“Then you are a crotchety old man, one or the other.”
“I was fine until you all started whining about exercising.”
“All of us?” Ha! It’s about time someone else said something.
“Sorry Brian, I wasn’t talking about you or Howie or AJ.” Oh okay, so that leaves me then. Jerk.
“AJ didn’t have time to complain before he hurt himself.”
“Hey!” AJ gave me a look as if he was annoyed I was bringing him into this weird argument we were having. Why were we even HAVING an argument in the first place?
“I’m done.” I said standing up and groaning from the stupid muscle aches I was feeling. “I’m going home and taking a hot bath and going to bed!”
“It’s not even dark out Nick.” Brian laughed as he said that but at this point I was beyond finding anything amusing. Yes, that’s right Nickolas Gene Carter was now in his very own mood. Thanks a bunch Kevin!
“I don’t care…I’m out of here. Night guys, I’ll see you tomorrow.” I waved at them all as I passed by but only gave Kevin a look. He mirrored it right back at me.
As I walked out the door and towards my car, I got to thinking about things. Maybe that’s a mistake… me and thinking don’t always get along as famously as we should, but then again most of the best decisions in my life have ever come around because of actually thinking about them first. My thinking was this…Kevin is a bossy, know it all jerk. It was a simple thought, one that didn’t take up much space in my gray matter but still it was one I felt the need to verbalize to my steering wheel as I started up my car.
“Kevin is a bossy, know it all jerk!” Yup, just like that. Not sure why that made me feel better but it did, because I managed to get the last word in! Yes it does count, even if no one else is in the room or in my case, the car.
My legs were so sore that I found myself rubbing them to keep them from cramping up on me while I was driving. Maybe Kevin was right, I was out of shape. I mean I’m still a kid, right? I shouldn’t be this tired and exhausted after only doing a few dance routines. Dammit! I sighed and let out my breath and I thought about things. Maybe starting tomorrow I’d go the extra mile and sign myself up at one of the gyms in the area. I mean why not? If nothing else, the shocked look on Kevin’s face would make it all worthwhile.
“Why does what Kevin think still mean so much to you dumbass?”
“I wish I knew.”
“I mean it’s always been that way with you, ever since you met the guy.”
“I know!” And yes, I am having a conversation with myself and yes I’m having it out loud. In LA everyone talks to themselves. I blend in without looking insane. Besides phones are so tiny these days, I could very well be talking on a teeny tiny phone.
“Speaking of phones…” Yup I said that out loud too as I reached next to me to grab my phone. I forgot to tell AJ something, I only hope that he isn’t still with the rest of them. I turned the corner and dialed my roommate’s number. I knew it by heart which was kind of surprising since I suck at numbers. I don’t even know my own number.
He answered on the first ring. “Dude.”
“Dude.”
“Hey”
“Hey.” We were men of few words.
“Sup?”
“Are you alone?”
“Uh huh, everyone is gone. I’m on my way to Katie’s.”
“Okay…hey I was wondering if…” I stopped myself when I noticed a car following me from a short distance. Every time I turned, he turned and it was frankly freaking me out.
“What?”
“I think I’m being followed.”
“You were wondering if you were being followed? You thought I’d be able to help you with this?”
“Shut up…no I mean…dude, I’m totally being followed!”
“By a car?”
“By a car? What kind of stupid ass question is that?”
“I’m just asking…for all I know you mean a 14 year old on roller blades.”
“Dude…I’m being serious here!” And I was, I turned another corner and started heading up a hill…a totally random one and this car was still right on my tail!
“Is it paparazzi? Do they have cameras?”
“I don’t know, let me stop the car and ask them!”
“Enough with the attitude Carter, I’m just trying to help here!”
“I don’t know what to do.” I was panicking now, this guy was coming at me in a weird ‘I’m going to kill you’ sneaky way. One of his headlights was even out. How much creepier can you get?
“What do you want me to do?”
“I don’t know dude…maybe call the police.”
“And tell them what?”
“That I’m on a road and there’s a car behind me.”
“Nick, you want me to call the police and tell them you are on a road and that there’s a car behind you? Isn’t that what roads are for?”
“AHH! AJ take me seriously! He just turned a corner on me again! He’s totally following me!” Any calm I was feeling was now gone and I think Bone finally realized that.
“Can you see him? Is it a him? Is there more than one person?”
“I can’t tell! One of his headlights is out.”
“That’s never a good sign.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Uh… nothing…never mind. Dude you need to get yourself to a lighted area like a highway or something. Are you by a highway?”
“NO idea.”
“Don’t even friggin tell me you’re lost Nick!”
“Stop yelling at me AJ!”
“I’m not yelling!”
“Yes you are!”
“I’m sorry…but I’m not calm anymore!”
“Oh my God I’m going to die aren’t I?”
“There’s a good possibility!”
“What!?!”
“You have to get off that road!”
“I don’t know how!”
“Well figure out how!”
“There’s another turn…” I was going really fast by this time and I careened around the corner so quickly I thought I was going to tumble the car off the road. Luckily, that did not happen, although the car behind me kept following me!
“NICK! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?”
I managed to get control of the car again and was just about to answer him as I drove under an overpass. That meant I was by a highway. Hooray! “I’m okay AJ…sorry about that!”
All I heard was static on the other end. Our conversation was disconnected. As I went to dial him again the phone rang, “Hey sorry about that!”
“Sorry about what?” It was Kevin…great! Luckily though, he was breaking up too.
“Kevin this is kind of a bad time…I’m being followed!”
“What?”
“I’m being followed, I’m in my car and being followed by a crazy person who probably wants to make me a sex slave of some kind…so I’m going to have to call you back.”
“What do you mean you’re being followed? I lost you, where are you?”
“I don’t know where I am!! I am currently trying to lose a stalker and I think I did. Woohoo!” I managed to lose him! I knew it was daring of me to take that corner but it worked, I am awesome! I should work for the FBI or something because I am the best at this stuff seriously!
“Someone is following you? Is that why you are driving like a maniac?”
I need to make some kind of driving manual for celebrities trying to lose stalkers. Between this and the time I was with Paris, I could make a fortune. I mean…what the hell did he just say?
“Why did you ask me if I was driving like a maniac?”
“Because you were!”
“How did you know that?”
“Because I have been trying to catch up with you for the last 20 minutes and you have been driving like a friggin’ psycho on speed!”
“You what now?”
“Nick is someone following you or not?” He was sounding frantic and he was making me nervous again so I looked behind and once again I saw the damn car!
“AHH! Yes there he is again!”
“Where? I don’t see anyone.”
“What do you mean you don’t see anyone…do you have a damn video camera in my car or something? Are you afraid I’m going to hit a Taco Bell while you’re not looking?”
“Nick what the hell are you talking about?”
“What are YOU talking about?” He was giving me a headache and there still was the question of the car following me. At this point I was ready to surrender. Maybe my stalker would let me take a nice warm bath before he put me in his basement. Oh my God, I’m such an idiot! “Kevin!”
“What?”
“Are you driving a car with one of your headlights out?”
“Yes.”
For the love of all that’s holy…That’s when I pulled off to the side of the road, wishing I had my tire iron in the front seat with me. “I am hanging up on you now.” I said clicking off the phone and trying to will my heart to slow down.
My phone rang instantly, why won’t these people leave me alone? “Yeah?”
“Nick?”
“Hey Brian…what’s up?”
“What’s up? WHAT’S UP?!?”
“Uh...yeah, what’s up?” Why was everyone so weird?
“Well for one AJ called me frantically telling me you were being chased by a serial killer and that he called the police when he couldn’t get in touch with you!”
“Oh…oops.”
“Yeah big oops buddy…so mind telling me what’s going on exactly? Although I’m going to call AJ right now before he has a nervous breakdown.”
Just then there was a knock on my window which made me jump about ten feet off the ground. “It was a misunderstanding…I’ll call you right back Bri…tell AJ I’m okay.”
He laughed, but I could tell it was more a sigh of relief than anything else so I had to add, “Thanks for looking out for me Bro.”
“No problem, everything is okay Nick? You sure? You’re not being held at gunpoint right now are you? If you are, say the world lima bean and I’ll call for help.”
“I am fine…”
“Okay.” I hung up with Brian and then got out of the car where Kevin was standing there waiting for me.
“Why were you following me Kevin? You gave me a heart attack! Actually ten heart attacks.”
“Oh, I’m sorry buddy. You thought I was the one following you?”
“Uh…you were following me.”
“You were driving like a maniac Nick, I thought you were going to roll your damn car! You have to be more careful!”
“I thought I was being followed by a maniac Kevin…well I guess I was being followed by a maniac!”
“You left your wallet at the dance studio. I figured you’d need it and AJ said he wasn’t going straight home.” He handed me my wallet.
“Thanks but you could have called me to tell me that.”
“I tried but you were on the other line.” Oops! I really have to stop ignoring my call waiting…seriously.
“I was talking to AJ.” I said with my head looking down towards the ground.
“I also wanted to say I’m sorry for picking on you today.” Okay, that made me look up. When he saw my eyes, he continued, “I had a fight with Kris and I took it out on you. I’m really sorry about that. I know it bothers you when we call you names. You’re not fat.”
All the anger I felt suddenly went away. “Is everything okay with you and Kris?”
“Yeah…I mean it was just stupid things and well I tend to always take it out on you.” Wow!
“That’s okay, I am sorry for acting the way I did too.”
He placed his hand on my shoulder, “Don’t do that, this time you did nothing wrong. I know that’s a rarity…for now enjoy the moment.” Yes I am aware he just dissed me, but the fact that he was telling me he was in the total wrong outweighed that!
“Okay…but I do want to thank you for this, I would have been frantically looking for it later on.”
“You mean when you would go to the drive thru at Mickey D’s?”
“Yeah…wait! No…I mean…”
He laughed at me, “Come on…I’ll buy you some ice cream.”
“What about the diet?”
“It can start tomorrow!”
“Can I have a sundae?”
“Yeah…but don’t tell anybody.” He said as he pulled me into a hug and walked over to the passenger side of my car.
“Oh by the way Kev…the police might be pulling us over.”
“Why?”
“Long story…you sure your car will be okay just sitting here in the middle of nowhere?”
Kevin nodded. He’s a funny guy that Kevin. The most anal person I know but yet he doesn’t mind randomly abandoning his car just so he could go buy me ice cream. “I would rather be in the car with you so I can smack you if you start driving like a lunatic again.”
Okay…there’s the Kevin I know! I nodded and grabbed my phone to see I had eight messages waiting for me. I giggled, “Oh these should be good.” I said as I dialed…
“It’s Kevin…I’m behind you buddy…pull over so I can give you something and Oh my God! Why are you driving like you are wearing a blindfold…you aren’t wearing a blindfold are you?”
Now it was AJ’s turn…“NICK where are you? What happened why aren’t you picking up your phone! NICK?”
“Oh my God are you being molested? NICK PICK UP YOUR PHONE!!!”
“THAT’S IT I’M CALLING THE POLICE”
“NICK!!”
Howie… “Nick, why did AJ just call me and tell me you were being molested by a guy with only one taillight? Please call me!”
AJ again… “Nick I just called the police!! Why are you not picking up your phone? That’s it I’m calling Kevin!”
Why does he always call Kevin?
AJ once more… “AHH Kevin isn’t answering his phone either! What is wrong with you people? I’m calling Brian!”
“Why are you laughing?” I looked over at Kevin and smiled at him.
“I love you guys…” Was all I said as we drove to get me my ice cream!
