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Author's Chapter Notes:
First of all Happy Birthday Nick! I'm so glad I finished this in time to post it today lol As promised here's a new Why chapter. :O) Enjoy and as always, thanks for reading!
49



Stuck in Traffic…






“I had the weirdest dream last night man.”



I sighed, turning my head away from the window. I didn’t get much sleep last night to begin with. I’m pretty sure it had to do with the anxiety from all the interviews we had today. I feel so out of practice when it comes to this stuff; I hardly know what to say anymore. There was a time when we had all our answers down to a science. We even knew which one of us would answer which question. I took all the complex ones naturally. It was my job because no one else was trusted. Howie would have done well, but at the beginning, Johnny and Lou were a little worried that the younger ones might say something dumb.



“Kevin, did you hear me? I said I had a weird dream last night.”



“I heard you Nick, you’re sitting like two inches away from me, how can I not hear you?”



“I don’t know….When you get older; your hearing is the first thing to go.”



I rubbed at my eyes. I shouldn’t have done that because now they’ll be all red, but it’s only radio interviews today, so I guess I’m safe. Maybe If I looked slightly possessed everyone would leave me alone?



“So…my dream.” Not a chance. No one leaves me alone…EVER!



“Okay, tell me about your dream.” I decided I’d give into him. I mean we were the only two in this car and we currently were stuck in traffic. If I didn’t let him babble on about his dream he’d start babbling about something else.



“Well it’s freaking weird man.”



I nodded at him. I hate the way he tells stories. He goes on and on about how weird they are and then proceeds to crack himself up; meanwhile I’m still sitting here in the dark. “What happened? You get mauled by a turkey or something?”



“What the hell?”



“I don’t know…that’s weird. You said it’s freaking weird man. Getting mauled by a turkey would fall into that category.” He was giving me a look as if I was insane.



“Oookay….no Kevin. I wasn’t mauled by a turkey, oddly enough.” He tilted his head slightly and raised his eyebrows. Okay like I’m suddenly the odd one in the car. “I dreamt I was grocery shopping with Brian.”



“And?”



“He was wheeling me around in one of those big ass shopping carts. I mean it was big ass! As big ass as you can get.”



“Okay I get it; the shopping cart was big, what else happened?”



“I kept pulling things off the shelves and putting them in the cart, and every time I did he would laugh and tell me to do it again.”



“Were you a kid or you sized?”



“I was me sized. I mean it was a big ass shopping cart. So I fit in there with no problem.”



“Why were you in a shopping cart in the first place?”



“Dude, I have no idea. I was also eating a piece of licorice.”



“Hrmm…what was Brian doing during all of this?”



“Just laughing like a fool.”



“Was anyone else there?”



“Not for a while.”



“Oh? So eventually someone else came?”



“Yeah, I ended up having sex with Heidi Klum.”



“In the shopping cart?”



“Well, it was a big ass shopping cart.”



I laughed at him. “What?” he asked me when I had that reaction, as if I wasn’t supposed to find any of that amusing.



“Nothing, just you.”



“Well, I probably wouldn’t be dreaming about groceries and food if you weren’t starving me to death.”



“That was a bit overdramatic, don’t you think?”



“Tell that to Wentworth.” He rubbed his stomach when he said that.



“You named your stomach Wentworth?”



“Yes, my belly has a name. You are killing Wentworth.”



“I’m not killing him but I’m making him smaller.” I pat his jiggly stomach, which wasn’t jiggling as much as it used to, thank you very much.



Of course when I pat him, he farted which prompted me to open the windows. Either inhale the fumes of the surrounding cars or the ones inside this one. I’ll take my chances with the outside fumes.



“Sorry about that, I’m a little gassy.”



“You must be feeding Wentworth something!” I said as I fanned his stink away from my face.



He grabbed his belly with both hands, smooshing it together, “Did you hear that Wenty? Kevin is mocking us!”



“Okay, this is a never ending car ride.” I looked at my watch to see we had been in the same spot for about 25 minutes now. “I wonder what the holdup is?”



He let go of his stomach, happily… for me anyway, and slouched down in the seat, pulling one leg on top of the other. “Who cares? I’m in no rush to do these interviews, are you?”



“Not really. I just want to get them over with I guess.”



“They’re going to be hell.” Now I saw that look of dread on his face. The poor guy knew he was going to be drilled about Paris. “I’m not sure how I’m going to answer those questions when they ask me.”



“About her?” I rolled my eyes and let out a deep breath. Just thinking about that blonde whore bag made me want to kick something.



“Yeah.”



“Take the high road.”



“I have been.”



“I know, and I’m proud of you for doing that. Just keep it going.”



“But if they keep drilling… you know they’ll just keep drilling.”



“Then I’ll handle it.”



He looked over at me and smiled, “Really?”



“Yes, I’m not afraid of her. Let her come after me for all I care. You just stay quiet and let me ream her!”



“You’re cool Kevin.”



“I know.”



“So, you want to know what happened with me and Heidi in that big ass cart?”



I gave him that look, the one that said, ‘I’m a male and I’m stuck in a car going nowhere…what do you think?’





~*~*~*~*~*~




“Hey Howie, you think if you hit someone in the head with a waffle iron they would get those little marks on them? You know, like the marks that waffles have?”



I looked up at AJ, baffled… but only slightly. “Maybe?”



“Yeah, you’re probably right.” He nodded as he once again started to play with the many bracelets on his wrists. It was a new habit he acquired, an annoying new habit, but I’ll still take that over the ‘I want to pierce my face’ phase.



I have learned to just ignore odd questions like this, when they came from him or Nicky. Pretty much nothing shocked me anymore and I knew it was only a matter of time before those questions started happening. We were stuck in traffic, about fifteen minutes from our destination. I suggested that we just get out of the car and walk there but management thought it wasn’t a good idea. I guess I can see their point since we were on a highway and all.



I was trying to sift through a list of questions that could be asked of us today to preoccupy myself. Sometimes radio stations sent us the questions before hand for approval. Those were the kinds of interviews I enjoyed because we always knew what was coming. It was the other ones I didn’t much like, those spontaneous ones that were all about shocking their audiences.



We were heading to one of those radio stations first. I guess it’s best to get them out of the way first. This way all we have left is smooth sailing. Still, sometimes there was a way to cheat with them as well, “Is there a way we can put that radio station on?”



“The one we’re going to?” Our driver asked me from the front of the car.



“Yup, I’d like to hear if they are saying anything about us.”



“They have been talking about you all week.” He answered proudly.



“Good things or bad things?”



The man driving the car, who looked about 12 if he was a day old, shrugged. “A little bit of both I guess.”



“What were they saying exactly?” Now it was AJ’s turn.



“Nothing really, they spent most of their time talking about Paris and the guy she dated. I guess he’s your band mate, right?”



“Yup…did it seem like they were going to grill him on her?”



“No, if anything they’ll ask him about how good the sex was.”



“Oh.” It’s sad that, that was the best possible scenario when it came to a Paris question, isn’t it?



“I would have loved to tap that ass just once…” I glanced over at AJ as he said that under his breath. I’m not sure whether he intended for me to hear that or not. He has a very hard time keeping his thoughts in his head, that one. Not that I didn’t already know how badly he secretly wanted to lay Nick’s ex-girlfriend. He made it no secret from anyone, including Nick who he has told more than once.



“I bet you’re kind of glad you didn’t huh?”



“Hell yeah…but still….”



I shook my head as I allowed myself to sit further back into my seat. I hadn’t realized that for almost the entire ride I had been sitting straight up toward the edge of the cushions. I guess I’m a tad bit stressed out still. The driver was fiddling around with his radio until he landed on the station I requested.



“And let’s not forget that the Backstreet Boys will be joining us in studio this morning.” The male DJ said just as he landed on the station.



“I can’t believe the amount of calls we’ve gotten for them, I thought they were old news.” That was the female, trying to sound like she didn’t have a ton of pictures of us on her wall when she was younger.



“I bet she’s a closet fan.” I laughed at AJ. It does scare me that we both had the same thought. Well, actually it’s kind of terrifying more so than scary, I mean he was just talking about hitting people over the head with a waffle iron.



“Aren’t they too old to be boys now? Shouldn’t we be calling them men?” Boy, I can tell that’s going to get old fast.



“Yeah seriously, the youngest one is pushing thirty, right?”



“Well, he must have something left in him because he managed to conquer Paris.” All the DJ’s laughed at that. I hate DJs, can I just say that? They are all a bunch of idiots as far as I’m concerned. I mean, when I’m with them I’ll laugh and smile but overall they are losers. Not all…but most.



“Is he the drunken, crack head?” All of the radio people laughed.



“No, that’s the other one with the bushy brows I think. This one is the alcoholic who beats people.”



“You know, you can shut that off anytime now.” AJ yelled to our young driver.



When the kid quickly shut the radio station off, I turned to AJ with a look of disgust on my face, “I wonder if it’s too late to cancel out of this one?”



He shrugged at me, “D, we kind of figured this was going to happen.”



“I’m proud of you for not being angry after the drunken crack head thing.” I placed my hand on AJ’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. A comment like that about a year ago would have almost sent him right back to a bar.



“He was right, kind of. Besides he thinks it’s Kevin so I guess I’m all in the clear. Let him call Kevin a drunken crack head and see what happens.”



He had a point there. I looked at my watch and sighed. At this rate, we won’t make it anyway. Hopefully the station after this one would be better.





~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




I was shaking my foot and biting on my nails. I hate being stuck in traffic! I mean when I’m in my own car or something it isn’t quite so bad. I roll down the windows and blast my music and dance around. I can’t do that here though.



“Can you stop shaking your foot please? It’s annoying me.” Well, I knew that was going to happen.



“Sorry.” I uncrossed my legs and adjusted in the seat next to Kevin, who was reading a newspaper to occupy his time now. I guess he became bored with me and my dreams.



After I told him about Heidi and me, I decided I’d tell him some of the weirdest dreams I’ve ever had. Naturally most of them had to do with me being naked with beautiful women but he was then quick to point out that maybe I was getting my sex life mixed up with my dreams. Sometimes I think Kevin is a bit jealous of my single stature, although I’d very much enjoy going home to his wife anytime. He started zoning me out when I got to the evil snow cone dream. I’m still not sure what Mary Poppins was doing in that one. The snow cone wanted to take over the world but it was up to me and Mary to save everyone. Yup, that’s when he decided to grab for the newspaper and play the ‘let’s tune Nick out’ game.



“You want to read?” He asked me, attempting to hand me a section of the paper to which I smirked at him. “Oh right, what was I thinking?” He then proceeded to roll the paper into a little ball and hit me on the head with it.



“What was that for?” I rubbed my head and frowned at him.



“Just suddenly felt the urge.”



“Do you think we’ll just cancel the first appearance? I mean we’re late already aren’t we?” and yes, I was still rubbing my head. I wanted him to know that he hurt me. He didn’t seem to care much though.



“I think so, but no, we’re still going as far as I know. Johnny would have called to say otherwise.”



“Well then, this is retarded.”



“Be patient Nick, we’ll get there when we get there.”



“This is weird. Don’t you think this is weird Kevin?”



“What? And don’t mention being mauled by turkeys.”



“You’re the one that mentioned that before, not me.”



“Oh right…what’s weird then?”



“The fact that you’re so calm about us being late. I mean by now your head usually looks like it’s ready to explode off your shoulders.”



“There’s not much we can do about it, so why bother getting all worked up? Besides like we said before, we’re not in a rush.”



“I know, but even still…it’s like we’ve entered that Superman parallel universe.”



“Bizarro world?”



“Yeah, I think that’s the one…hell I live in Bizarro world.”



He reopened his newspaper, “I think you’re the King of that world. You and Wentworth and your singing, evil snow cones.”



“Don’t forget about Heidi.”



He nodded, “Yes, her too.”



“I’m hungry.”



He sighed, “I knew I shouldn’t have mentioned Wentworth…” He grumbled under his breath.



“It’s not Wentworth; you mentioned snow cones and that’s what did it. I would love one of those right about now. They should have snow cone vendors around here.”



“You mean on the highway?”



“Yeah, why the hell not?”



“Nick, you’re weird.”



“Do you think Brian would like to hear about my Heidi dream?”



Kevin looked up at me and shrugged, “Depends, will that make you stop talking to me?”



“You are mean Kevin. You know, all your fans…all two of them…think you’re so nice and perfect.”



“All two of them huh?”



“Yeah, all two of them.”



“Well at least my two fans are sane.”



“Uh, no they aren’t.”



“You’re probably right.”



“Trust me I am.”



“Are you going by that stupid message board you always talk about?” Kevin shook his head at me as if he hasn’t snuck onto any message boards to see what they say about him.



“Yes I am.” He didn’t respond, just sat there looking at me…yes with the Kevin look.



“Call Brian, I’m sure he’ll love the dream. Don’t forget the Snow White one; he’ll really get a kick out of that one.”



“Is that your way of telling me to shut up?”



“Nope, ‘Nick shut up!’ That’s my way of telling you to shut up.”



“Cute.”



“Thanks.”



I picked up my phone and decided I’d bug Brian. Why not? The poor guy was probably bored out of his mind, all by himself in a huge limousine.





~*~*~*~*~*~~*




I love this! I hope the traffic never moves and we are stuck here for about another ten hours! I can’t even recall the last time I have had some alone time. Ever since I’ve been married and have had a child, time is not my own anymore, but I feel like we’ve had this conversation. Regardless, this is so nice. I smiled just thinking about how Howie was probably ready to kill AJ by now and Kevin and Nick together but yet here I was all alone. Peace and quiet, maybe I’ll take a nap.



Ah a nice long and peaceful…phone.



I looked down at it and saw it was my wife, “Hey honey.”



“I wasn’t sure if I would catch you or not.”



“I’m stuck in traffic.”



“That’s what the DJ said. Are you almost there?”



“We haven’t moved in a long time.”



“Fans keep calling into the station, they all are really excited about you guys being there.” I smiled.



“That’s awesome.”



My phone beeped, “Hang on a sec honey,” I said as I looked to see who was calling. “Leigh that’s the other car, they are probably calling with news. I’ll talk to you later. Love you baby.”



“I love you too.”



I hung up with my wife, “Hey AJ, any news?”



“No, I was wondering if you could settle an argument D and I are having.”



“What?”



“Well he seems to think that spaghetti and macaroni are the same thing. I think they aren’t.”



“What?” What? Yes, I had to repeat that!



“I don’t think they taste the same, I mean I know they don’t look the same, but they definitely don’t taste the same, right?”



“Bone, I was on the phone with my wife and hung up because I thought this was important.”



“Well, I guess it depends on how you define important. Howie and I have been arguing about this for at least ten minutes now.”



“Ten minutes?”



“Yup.”



“He’s right AJ. They are the same thing, just a different shape.” There was a pause on his end of the line and I couldn’t help but laugh. He hated to be wrong almost as much as I did.



“He said I’m right Howie…its different!”



“AJ!” I knew he was going to do that. Just then my phone beeped again.



“I have to go, I have another call.”



“Okay, thanks Rok! You so owe me money Howard.” I heard AJ gloating as I clicked over to Nickolas.



“What’s up?”



“I thought you might like to hear about the dream I had last night.”



I started laughing, “What?”



“I had a dream that you were wheeling me around in a big ass shopping cart and I mean it was big ass.”



“Oh good, here we go again with the big ass.” I heard my cousin say in the background.



So much for peace and quiet I guess. I decided to lie down as I held the phone to my ear, “So I was wheeling you in a big cart.”



“Come on Brian…you can say it…I know you want to.”



“Okay fine…a big assed cart!”



“Woot! Woot! I got your cousin to say ass!” He cracks me up this child.



“Anyway, what happens next? Knowing you a supermodel of some kind was involved?”



“Oh my God! How the hell did you know that?”



“Because I know you…anyway tell me what happened.” Just as I said that, a weird and mysterious thing happened…we began to move!



“Hey we’re moving!” He echoed my thoughts.



“It appears that we are.”



“Maybe we can ride together on the way to the next one so I can tell you all about it!”



“Okie dokie.”



“I like you…you said okie dokie!” I rolled my eyes at the phone but smiled at the thought of him being with me on the next leg of our little radio station interview tour.



It seemed like within minutes of hanging up with Nick, we were at the station and I just smiled when I saw all of the people waiting outside to great us. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen this. It felt nice, like an old friend saying hello. It almost made what turned out to be a horrible day, a little brighter.