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When no one came to see what in the world was happening out there, A.J. got up and ran into the house screaming for his friends to come help him. “BRIAN!! KEVIN!! Goddamn, guys.”, he muttered before he raised his voice again. “SOMETHING’S WRONG WITH NICK!!” When none of them answered and he realised they all left, he ran back outside to see how Nick was doing. As he knelt down beside him, he realised the youngest was breathing, but still unconsciousness. “Nick? Come on, bud!” he whispered, as he pulled his cell out of his pocket and dialed the one number he had dialed a hundred times before whenever he was in trouble. As he was waiting for the other person to answer, he kept his gaze at Nick, a thousand thoughts racing through his mind. This could NOT be the end, this was NOT how things were supposed to go. Nick was supposed to get one step closer to his recovery each day, not getting closer to death.
“God damn, Kev.. Answer your fucking phone!” A.J. muttered as he checked Nick’s pulse. He was definitely not an expert, but he knew Nick’s heart was beating way to slow, going at only around 60 pulsations a minute. “Damn, Kev, pick it up NOW!” But the eldest never even heard his phone ring, for he was still at the beach, while his cell kept ringing as it lay on the dashboard of his car.

Kevin finally let out the hurt that kept him company in his nightmares. The last one he had was about the five of them being together for the last time, at Nick’s funeral. Again it seemed so damn real, that he went over to A.J.’s place in the middle of the night and found the rebel sitting on the front porch, staring at the sky, trying to find the answers they all were looking for. Why Nick? Was he going to pull through or would they lose him eventually? The two of them had talked for hours and he ended up sleeping in one of the guestrooms, eventually waking up to the sound of Nick throwing up in the bathroom next to him, which was ten times worse than waking up to one of the nightmares. After all, those were just dreams, the sound of Nick emptying his stomach was harsch reality.
As he was now staring at the horizon through his tears, he continued. “Dad.. I feel so lost right now.. I-I don’t know what to do..” Kevin sobbed. “We’re losing him, dad. He’s losing his faith, sees no reason to fight anymore. As much as I want to, I can’t fight for him.. I can’t win this fucking fight for my little brother.. He has to keep on fighting. He HAS to!!” He lowered his voice as he tried to prevent another breakdown from happening. “I’m just so scared he won’t..”

~~~~~~~~~

Brian's was muttering to himself as he drove down the freeway, punching in the same number repeadtedly into his cell phone and coming away empty handed each time.
"Dammit Kevin! Where are you?" He hissed, finally giving up and tossing the phone into the seat next to him, he was halfway past the exit when he saw the car out of the corner of his eye, a mumbled curse falling away from him as he jumped off the freeway, flipping around and heading back in the direction he had just been coming from. Pulling up along side the jet black car, he shut his own engine off, grabbing his cell phone, hopping out of the car and peering inside. "Of course it's empty." Brian muttered, his sapphire gaze darting around before spying the same path Kevin had. Locking his car, he let out a long sigh, stuffing his keys in his pocket as he made his way onto the beach, spotting his older cousin at once. "Hey." He sighed, plopping down onto the sand next to Kevin and causing him to jump in surprise, his hands flying to his face to wipe away the tears.

"What are you doing here?" Kevin asked roughly, his face turned away from Brian.
"I dunno." Brian shrugged. "I saw your car, I was actually headed to your house."
"For what reason?"
"Don't be thick Kev." The younger man rolled his eyes. "To see if you were okay. I know what Nicky said hurt you."
"I don't even care about that Bri."
"Kev-"
"Seriously Brian. I don't." Kevin interjected, finally facing his cousin. "I know he didn't really mean it all."
"Soooooo," Brian began, a small grin on his face. "Is there any particular reason you're sitting all alone on the beach looking dejected and crying?"
"I wasn't crying." Brian smirked at the comment, rolling his eyes again. "Sure Kev. But for the record, you suck at lying. You actually might be worse than Frack. Which, is pretty hard to-"

"I'm so terrified we're gonna lose him." The eldest breathed, sobering up Brian immediately, who's smile fell away, his eyes dropping to the sandy ground.
"I know." He nodded.
"He's giving up Brian. I can see it everytime I look at him. I guess that's why I'm pushing so hard for him to keep going." Kevin snatched up a rock from the floor, feeling the smooth exterior in his hand before chucking it into the sea with all his might. "I HATE this. I hate being powerless to help him. I mean, god, Bri, 12 years I've known Nicky. Twelve years I've watched him grow up from this shy, goofy little kid, into this amazing person. And for 12 years, I've always been able to help him. I've always been there to shelter him from whatever was going wrong. Be it his crazy ass mother and family or his shitty choice in women," Brian chuckled at the last part and Kevin let lose a long sigh. "I've been there. Every step of the way. Through all the up's and the goddamn downs, I've been there. I've been his best friend, his enemy, his older brother and his father. But when he needs me the most, when he's hurting the most and when he's more terrified than he's ever been, there's not a damn thing I can do to help him."

"Kevin-"
"And that's KILLING me Brian." Kevin pushed on, ignoring the younger man. It's tearing me apart. And I would give ANYTHING to be able to take away all his pain. ANYTHING. I swore that when my dad died, I would NEVER feel like this again. Never let myself fall into a position where I felt completely useless. But here I am again, locked completely in place and unable to do one fucking thing to help one of the people I would give my life for without a second thought." A few tears slipped from Kevin's eyes and he bowed his head, falling silent. Brian was simply staring at him, rocked completely to the core with everything he had just heard. While nothing Kevin had said was new to him, actually hearing Kevin say it, hearing the pain that his older cousin carried, Brian shook his head, at a complete loss for words, simply wishing he was anywhere but there.

~~~~~

AJ's hands were shaking as he dialed 911, his eyes glued to his younger friend, watching his chest rise and fall, afraid that if he glanced away for a split second, he would lose him.
"911. What is your emergency?"
"My friend just collapsed! He's got cancer and he's breathing but he won't wake up!" AJ rushed out, gripping the phone so tightly if he had been paying attention he would have heard the small 'crack'.
"And how did he collapse?"
"What kinda of bullshit question is that?!" The rebel snapped. "Just get someone over here to HELP him!"
"Sir, please remain calm. Panic does not help any situation."

"Would you please just get someone over here?" AJ muttered through clenched teeth, his temper flaring. "I don't know how the fuck he collapsed. He was gasping for air and then he just passed out!"
"And you said he has cancer? How long has he had it? And what kind of cancer does he have? Has he been receiving any treatment for-"
"Are you KIDDING me?" AJ screeched into the phone. "Lady, my baby brother is lying on the floor unconcious! Would you just fucking send SOMEONE to help him? Is that SO goddamn HARD? What the FUCK is wrong with you people?"
"An ambulance is already on it's way to the location sir. I'm just trying to get a feel for the situation."
"That's all you needed to say. Tell them to hurry the fuck up!" AJ hissed before snapping the phone shut.

His brown eyes went wide as Nick let out a small moan, coughing slightly as he moved around. "Nicky? Are you with me? C'mon buddy, you're freaking me out here..." Aj let out a breath he didn't even realize he had been holding as Nick's eyes fluttered before squinting open, another groan tumbling away from his lips.
"A-AJ?" Nick slowly tried to sit up, only to be kept down by AJ.
"Stay down Nicky. Just take it easy."
"I don't feel so hot." The youth breathed, coughing again. A weak smile passed over AJ's features and he nodded slowly, "I know Nicky, I know." AJ gently sat the blonde up, sliding behind him and lowering Nick into his lap. "Just hang in there, okay? There's people on their way."
"I-I don't want to die anymore. I di-didn't mean it." Nick's terrified blue eyes tugged at AJ's heart and the older man hugged him gently, shaking his head.
"It hurts so much....AJ...help me...please..."
"I'm trying baby...I-the people are on their way." AJ had never felt so helpless in his entire life.
"I'm so scared. I-I don't want to go alone..."
"You're not gonna be alone! You're going to be fine." The rebel was glancing around furiously, cursing as he waited for the parmedics to show up. He didn't live that far from the hospital. Where the hell were they? Didn't they know his baby brother was slipping away right before his eyes?

"I'm falling Jay..." Nick's words were slurred together as his eyes began to slide closed, and AJ shook him gently, his eyes snapping back's to Nick's form as he tried to hold back his own panic. "Nicky stay with me! Please..." AJ was begging as he hugged the younger man close. "Please, hold on. Don't give up yet...not yet Nicky..."
"S-sorry," Slipped from Nick's lips as he went limp in AJ's arms, and the older men felt his heart freeze in chest. He could barely detect the rise and fall indicating that Nick was breathing, the younger man's breaths even more shallow than before. Sitting alone in the backyard, with Nick laying in his arms, waiting for help to arrive, AJ did the only thing he could think of, dropping his head as he began to cry.