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Author's Chapter Notes:

Sorry it's taken so long. I should have the last two chapters posted for you very soon so we can get this finished up. Thanks for hanging in there everyone.

Enjoy!

Chapter 173

 

Nick shut and locked the door, reactivating the alarm before turning to look at Veronica, wincing slightly.

“I don’t think there’s anyone left to come by, with the exception of your Brother or Sisters,” Veronica chuckled.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know everyone would be coming like that,” Nick frowned.

She smiled, “Don’t apologize please, I’m glad I was able to see everyone and that they cared enough to come by and say bye before I left.”

“I wanted it to just be us,” he said softly.

She tilted her head to the side, studying him, “It is.”

Nick frowned slightly, “Yeah, now it is.”

Veronica smiled again, “We have the rest of the evening Nick.”

“It’s not enough,” he whispered.

“Sure it is, c’mon,” she replied, walking over and taking his hand leading him into the living room. “We’ll just hang out ok? Watch TV and play some games and whatever.”

So over the next few hours, they watched several movies, played games, and ate a large amount of junk food. Nick found himself growing more and more nervous, more anxious as the evening progressed. Pretty soon it was early morning and he could see that Veronica was getting sleepy and he wanted to rebel against her tiredness, wanted to tell her that they couldn’t go to sleep, not yet.

“Whew, I’m bushed,” Veronica yawned, standing and grabbing the bowls and empty glasses and heading into the kitchen.

Nick watched as she made her way into the kitchen, licking at his dry lips. He grabbed the half empty bags and brought them into the kitchen, leaning against the counter, watching as she started to wash the dishes.

“Hey, you don’t have to do that, we can use the dishwasher.”

She waved him off, “There’s not enough to run it, it’ll just take me a minute.”

Nick walked over, pulling the glasses and bowls out of her hands, turning her and pulling her into his arms, kissing her deeply suddenly before gently releasing her.

“I got this baby, why don’t you head upstairs and get ready for bed, I know you’re tired. You’ll stay with me tonight?”

“Uh…well sure, if you’d like.”

Nick smiled, “Of course I’d like, this is our last night together, I want you beside me.”

“Alright then, I will. I’m gonna hop in the shower if you don’t mind. You sure you don’t want me to help you clean up? There’s not a lot to do…”

“Exactly, you go get in the shower and I’ll finish up here.”

She nodded, “Alright, if you’re sure. See ya in a bit.”

He watched as she slipped away and started up the stairs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nick paced back and forth in his bedroom. He’d already showered and dressed and now he couldn’t seem to relax. The night was almost over and tomorrow would come and he’d have to say bye. Groaning, he flopped down on the bed only to bolt back up when Veronica made her way into his bedroom. He watched as she tossed her robe on the chair and started towards the bed. He stood quickly, making his way over to her.

“Hang on, don’t get into bed yet.”

She looked up at him, “Huh? Oh, ok.”

“There’s…there’s a few things I wanna do…say.”

Veronica blinked, “O-ok.”

Nick reached out and turned her so her back was to the bed, gently pushing her down so she sat. Turning, he walked over to his dresser and pulled some things out of one of the drawers. Walking over to the stereo, he slipped a cd into the player and grabbed the remote and made his way back over to her, sitting beside her on the bed.

“Ok…so…yeah, this is our last night together and well…I’m not sure what to say. I mean, there’s a lot I want to say, but I don’t know how to say it. This has been great and having you here has been perfect”

“Aww well I feel the same way, I love hanging out with you.”

“I promise, I’m gonna find a way to visit you often, I’m gonna be there for you ok? I’m not gonna let a few states get in our way,” he said, winking.

She chuckled softly, “It’s ok Nick, I understand. It’s gonna be hard, but we’ll do the best we can. We still have phones and emails and all that.”

Nick shook his head, “No, it’s not enough Veronica, not anymore. You’re my girl now, I’m not gonna be content with phone calls or anything. It’s different, we’re different.”

“Nick, sweetie, we’re not gonna be able to be around each other as much as regular couples do because the situation doesn’t allow for it, we’re gonna have to make due with what we can. We’ll talk everyday and text and…”

“Do you think it’s going to be that easy?” He asked, looking over at her, a hurt in his eyes.

“Oh Nick, I’m not trying to downplay this, you’re not the only one suffering, it’s just…I can’t think about it. I can’t dwell too much on it or…” she stopped, looking down at her hands.

“Veronica…”

“My heart hurts Nick, leaving you hurts. If we want to make this work, we’ve got to be strong. We’ve been communicating for almost two years now, and yeah, things have changed, but it makes it that much better when we do see each other again,” she finished, looking up at him, giving him a soft smile.

Nick shook his head in amazement, “How do you do it?”

She tilted her head to the side as she studied him, “Do what?”

“How do you stay strong? After everything you’ve been through, you’ve been a rock. I’ve never seen anyone handle the situations you’ve been put in with so much grace and courage. You truly amaze me.”

Her eyes widened, a light blush running over her cheeks, “Nick…there are far more courageous and stronger people out there than me.”

“I’m not so sure.”

“Believe me, there are. And trust me, I haven‘t been a rock through anything, I hide a lot. I may look like nothing effects me on the outside, but on the inside, I‘m a mess, an emotional mess half the time.”

“You’re like AJ in that way. All the shit he went through and he held all of it inside and then it was too much. Too proud to ask for help for a long time, too proud to show anyone what he was feeling or tell anyone what he was thinking.”

Veronica shrugged, “It’s hard to do when you’ve got so much to lose, when you’re afraid people are going to learn the truth. That you’re not as strong, that you can’t always handle everything life throws at you.” She looked down at her hands again, “It’s very…humbling.”

“Hey,” he said softly, placing a finger under her chin and lifting her head. “I don’t need you to be strong for me all the time ok? I see you.”

She stared at him for a moment before nodding, “Ok.”

Nick stared at her longingly before setting a long jewelry box on her lap.

“I got you something.”

Veronica looked down at the box and then back up at him, “Nick, you didn’t have to.”

He nodded, “Yeah I did. Go on open it.”

Nick watched as she wrung her hands together for a moment before carefully picking up the box. She hesitated a moment before slowly opening it, her eyes widening.

“Nick, it’s beautiful,” she whispered.

“They’re Chinese characters. This one is for strength and this one is for courage,” he explained softly, taking the box from her hands and pulling the necklace out and leaning in to hook it around her neck. “I want you to wear this and know that there’s someone out there who thinks you have more courage and strength than anyone, even when you don’t think you do.”

“I…”

“I was trying to pick which one best describes you, and then I though, both of them do. You’ve proven it to me time and time again.”

Veronica put a hand to her chest, slowly bringing her gaze to his, “Thank you.”

He shook his head, “No, thank you.”

She sighed shakily, “I-I don’t deserve you.”

“It’s the other way around really, I’m so not worthy to have you as a friend, let alone my girlfriend, but I’m not gonna argue with fate.”

“You’re too good to me Nick.”

“Never enough as far as I’m concerned, which is why I have one other thing.”

She sniffled, wiping at her eyes. “Something else?”

“Mmm hmm, it’s nothing big just…something I wrote.”

“Like what? A poem?”

“No, I’ll leave the poetry up to you thanks, no a song…for you.”

“You wrote me another song?”

“Well actually, I wrote it a while ago, on my way home from visiting you, on the plan ride. I never really did a lot with it only cause…I guess at the time it scared me, but it just felt right ya know? I think my heart knew way before my head did that I was in love with you, even then. Then when I wrote the other song that I gave you for Christmas, it’d just gotten stronger. I kept trying to play it off but ya know. I recorded a rough demo of the music for it, had a friend help me. The guys didn’t know about us at the time, so I couldn’t go to them. I was hoping if it’s ok with you, that you’d let me sing it for you tonight, it‘d be the first time I actually put words to the melody.”

“Oh Nick, of course, I’d be honored.”

He smiled and stood, starting the cd he’d put in the player before turning to look at her, holding his hand out, “C’mon, dance with me.”

For once she didn’t protest, but her hand into his and allowed him to pull her to him. Veronica wrapped her arms around his neck and his arms went around her waist. Slowly they started to move and Nick started to sing softly along with the haunting music that had started to play in her ear.

Want you, miss you, love you I do. Never want to be this far from you again. I long to touch you and I need to hold you. Beautiful and priceless are insufficient words, though I know I'll be back, baby why am I here now?

Veronica rested her head against his shoulder, sighing shakily, the sound of his so soft against her ear sending chills down her back.


Want you, miss you, love you I do, blinded and foolish as I am. I promise never to forget, what I'm going through, I promise never to forget how much…I want you, miss you, love you.

Nick knew why he could never sing it prior to this moment, it wouldn’t have been right. It wouldn’t have meant half as much to have sung it without her there to hear it the first time, the only time. He wished that back then he’d allowed himself to feel the way he did on this night. They could’ve had more time, could’ve touched and held each other longer. If he only hadn’t waited so long.

He gave her a gentle squeeze as he continued.

“When I find myself in your arms again I'll remember when and I won’t ever let go no, I will never let go…

And yet he had to. She would once again walk out of his arms and there was nothing he could do about it.

She buried her face in his chest, trying to stifle the cries that demanded to be released.


Want you, miss you, love you I do, hopelessly longing for the touch of your hand. And baby here I am nothing but…blue. Baby you'll never know how much, I want you, miss you, love you. I want you, miss you…love you.

Nick held her other tightly as the song came to an end.

“Thank you, it was beautiful.”

“It’s just how I feel.”

“I’m really gonna miss you,” she whispered suddenly, her voice thick with unshed tears.

“I’m gonna miss you too Veronica,” he sighed, shaking his head.

Slowly she lifted her head and looked up at him.

Nick looked into her eyes, “I love you.”

She gave him a hint of a smile through her tears and sadness in her eyes, “I love you too.”

Want You, Miss You, Love You - by Jon Secada