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Chapter 67


“Well which did you like better? The one last night or this one?”

“Mmm, I’d have to say last nights, this one was kinda slow,” Veronica replied.

“Yeah it really was, which sucks, I had such high hopes for this movie,” James sighed.

“Aww major let down huh?”

“You know it,” he winked.

They made their way over to his car.

“Veronica wait a minute, before you get inside,” James called out suddenly, grabbing her arm gently to stop her.

Veronica turned to look at him, “Is everything ok?”

She’d noticed from the moment he’d picked her up that evening, that he seemed distracted, he was quieter than usual, even throughout the movie. She looked at him now; there was an unfamiliar sadness in his eyes, a quiet kind of acceptance.

“No, everything isn’t ok Veronica.”

She swallowed hard, bracing herself for whatever he was going to tell her.

James sighed softly, looking away for a moment before looking into her eyes, “I just found out that I’m going into the air force.”

Her heart dropped.

“Oh.”

“I…I wasn’t sure it was going to happen, I had to do all these tests and whatever and if everything cleared, they let me know. I just found out this afternoon. I didn‘t want to say anything until I found out for sure, no one at work knows yet either.”

Veronica knew she shouldn’t feel hurt, but she did, she was hurt and mad. Looking up at him, she could see he was just as upset and disappointed as she was.

“So…when do you leave?”

“In a few weeks, I’m really sorry Veronica,” he whispered, shaking his head. “I know it’s not enough, but…”

She smiled weakly, feeling something inside her crumble, “No, it’s ok James. Thanks for telling me and I’m happy for you. This is obviously something you want bad, I’m glad it worked out.”

“It was before…I…I guess I shouldn’t have…”

“Don’t, please don’t James. I’m glad we had these two dates, you’re a great guy. I’m glad I can say I took the chance.”

James smiled sadly, “Yeah, me too.”

“How long will you be gone?”

He winced, “Four years.”

The last bit of hope she was holding onto disappeared.

“Wow, that’s a long time.”

“Yeah, which is why I don’t want to start anything. It’s not fair, four years is a long time to wait for someone. I don’t want to tie anyone down like that and it’s the truth. I’m not just saying it get out of anything. If I wasn’t leaving, I’d want to pursue this, I’d want to try Veronica.”

“Thanks James.”

“C’mere…” he whispered, opening his arms.

Veronica smiled, moving into his arms, hugging him tight. She’d remember this night and this time forever, the smell of his cologne and the feel of his arms around her. In the end, it’d been worth it, the fear and the nerves. It’d lead her up to this moment and she was happy.

A short time later…

She set her keys down and shut and locked the door, slowly making her way into her bedroom. Her eyes stung with unshed tears as she slumped down on the bed, staring out blankly. How had everything gone so wrong? It wasn’t supposed to happen like that. She’d gotten her hopes up and for what? Now nothing was going to come from it. She kept trying to convince herself that it was the idea that she took the risk, but it wasn’t helping. Veronica grabbed her purse and opened it, pulling her cell out. She pressed the button for Lynne and waited while it rang and rang. She left a brief message then looked over at the clock, it wasn’t too late and he did say to call whenever.

Sighing she hung up and then pressed the button for Nick and waited, she was getting ready to leave a message when suddenly Nick’s voice came through the line.

“Veronica!”

“Hey Nick.”

“What’s up?”

“Not much.”

“Just get home huh? How’d it go tonight?” Nick asked. “Wait, let me get comfortable.”

There was some rustling and a few soft grunts before he started speaking again.

“Ok, I had to get in bed. Go ahead.”

Veronica didn’t know if she could make it through the story without crying, she was precariously close to tears.

“Well he uhh, picked me up and we headed over to the theater. He choose the movie this time, I insisted.”

“Ok.”

“So yeah…we watched and…and that’s about it.”

Nick was quiet for a minute, “That’s it?”

“Yeah.”

“You ok? You don’t sound so excited. Did something happen?”

“Uh…kinda.”

Nick’s heart dropped.

“Veronica, did…did he do something? I mean…are you ok? Seriously.”


“I’m ok.”

“No you’re not…what happened? Did he do something to you? Did he hurt you in some way? Cause if so you need to tell someone, call the police.” The anger came quick, his heart was racing.

Veronica chuckled softly, “It’s not like that Nick. He didn’t hurt me like that; he didn’t lay a hand on me out of anything other than friendship.”

Ok, he was confused.

“So…?”

“It’s stupid really, it’s not like we were dating or whatever,” she sniffled.

“What happened Veronica?”

She bit her lip hard, trying to keep her composure; it was harder it seemed to say it out loud than to just deal with it inside. Veronica didn’t want to come off as some kind of wimp to Nick, but she couldn’t stop the ache, the pain inside.

“Well we were walking to his car, when he stopped me, told me that there was something he needed to tell me.”

This didn’t sound good, not good at all. Nick slowly sat up in bed, his grip on the phone tightening.

“Yeah? That fucker better not have a fuckin‘ girlfriend,” Nick mumbled.

“No…he’s leaving.”

“Leaving?”

“Yeah, he’s going into the air force.”

Nick blinked, “Oh…oh…wow.”

“Yeah, he just found out today that everything is a go. He didn’t want to mention it cause he wasn’t sure he was going to be accepted and all. So…he’s leaving in a few weeks.”

“Aww Veronica.”

“He doesn’t wanna start anything, doesn’t think it’s fair since he’s gonna be away for so long. He said he doesn’t wanna do that to me and I thank him for that,” she grabbed a tissue, wiping at her eyes. Fighting it was futile.

“How, how long is he gonna be gone?”

“F-four years,” her voice broke and she wiped at her eyes again, her body shaking with unshed tears.

“Veronica…god I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be, nothing was promised, nothing happened. I’m glad I did it, that I took the chance. Ya know, we just went to the movies, he was never mine to begin with, it’s no big deal.”

“It is a big deal, it’s a huge deal. If I hadn’t…I’m sorry. I know how much you liked him, how much you wanted this,” Nick sighed. He was an ass, a major ass. If he hadn’t pushed her to do it, she wouldn’t be hurting, and she was. He could tell she was trying to hide it, but it sounded like she was crying, or trying hard not to rather.

“Eh it’s just as well you know? He said that if he didn’t have to leave, he would’ve wanted to pursue something, but…I doubt it.”

His heart was breaking, “Veronica, ya know it’s ok to be upset about this. You wanted it, you took the chance and you put yourself out there. It’s ok to be hurt.”

“It doesn’t feel right, I feel stupid and silly. Look at me, I’m twenty four crying over some guy who I was never with in the first place and it hurts so much and I just feel stupid,” her voice broke again.

There was nothing he could do, nothing he could say to stop her pain. Nick had never wanted to reach out over the phone and hug someone as bad as he did in this moment.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“L-look Nick, I’m gonna let you go. I gotta get some rest, work waits in the morning. Thanks for…listening. I really appreciate it.

“Anytime honey, you take care. Call me whenever ok? I’m here if you need to talk, I mean that.”

“Thank you,” she replied gratefully. “Night Nick.”

“Night Veronica.”

He flipped the phone closed and set it on the charger next to his bed, slumping back. What a mess, what a colossal mess. Nick hadn’t planned on it not working out, hadn’t planned for anything like this happening. He was so sure that this was going to happen for her, she was so happy. He hated to think of her lying in bed, heartbroken and alone, and she was alone.

Running a hand through his hair, he sighed in frustration. He shouldn’t have pushed so hard, shouldn’t have insisted that she do it. Nick couldn’t help but think all of this was his fault, like he’d let her down in some way as her friend. What was worse was the fact that in some way, part of him, some sick part of him deep inside felt some kind of relief. He’d been so worried the last time they talked, been so afraid that she would forget about him that she would no longer have time for him.

Nick squeezed his eyes shut, he was mean, that was all there was to it. She was in pain and he was feeling relief. Selfish, he’d never been like this with any girl before. He wasn’t sure why he cared so much, why he’d been so worried. Nonetheless, that fear was gone, replaced with an inappropriate joy that he didn’t have to worry about loosing her.

He sat back up again, his stomach rolling suddenly. What was happening to him?