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Chapter 89


Nick slowly rolled over, his eyes opening. His gaze found the clock on the cable box, three thirty. He still couldn’t believe what’d happened that night. It’d seemed like a dream, an impossible dream because he’d screwed up so badly the day before. Nick couldn’t get over how lucky he’d been, to have her trust, her forgiveness. He couldn’t help but wonder what it’d be like when they woke up, what would she say? How would she act? He was nervous he realized, nervous and worried about what the morning would bring. Nick carefully slipped away and headed into the bathroom. A few minutes later he made his way out and back over to the bed.

He couldn’t get past the guilt, though. He’d taken something precious, something valuable from her and he couldn’t even believe he hadn’t thought of it earlier. Nick knew how nervous she was around guys, how she wouldn’t even ask a guy out, how could he not have figured out sooner that she hadn’t…

Sighing, he rolled to his side, gazing down at her still body, a soft smile on his lips. He didn’t regret it though; he didn’t regret one moment, one feeling, one kiss. Scooting closer to her, he leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on her shoulder, running his hand up and down her arm. That light scent that always seem to cling to her swirled around him in a mist of memories and his body started to harden. He slowly pulled away, looking at her again. He waited once again, for that feeling, that need to leave before she woke up, before the morning came and he’d have to answer questions.

And still, it never came.

Running a hand through his hair, he closed his eyes, draping an arm across her hip and pulling her back close and tight against his body, burying his face in her hair once again. The morning would tell, the morning would answer all his questions.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Veronica slowly opened her eyes, yawning softly. Bringing a hand up, she rubbed at her face and went to move, when suddenly she realized an arm was draped over her waist, a hard unyielding body resting behind hers.

Oh god what’d she done?

How could she have possibly forgotten? Shaking her head, she carefully pulled away, sitting up. What did she do? Turning, she looked back at the sleeping form behind her and her stomach dropped. Carefully, she slipped away, hurrying into her bedroom and grabbing her robe, slipping it on. Her head was pounding as she gathered her clothes up and headed into the bathroom and then into the shower.

Veronica let the water beat down on her as she blindly started to wash. What did he think of her? The day before she’d told him she wasn’t a groupie, that she didn’t just sleep with random men and then what did she go and do the day after? Her eyes started to burn, and the lump in her throat grew bigger and bigger. What if he lost all respect for her now? Veronica knew, she knew because it was exactly what she’d accused him of. But she wasn’t like those women, she wasn’t. He’d been the only one, the only one she’d ever been with and it hadn’t been because he was famous either.

She was a mess, she could hear herself telling Nick how she had more respect for herself, how she would never be with a guy unless he cared for her, and she hadn’t even known if he had. Veronica knew she had to admit to herself that she did care for him, and that she was starting to fall for him. She closed her eyes, not knowing where the tears ended and the water started. Wrapping her arms around herself, she leaned back against the wall, quiet sobs raking her body.

A short time later she made her way out and over to the kitchen. Her headache had eased up a bit, but not enough and her body ached in places she didn’t even know existed. Reaching into the cabinet, she got her bottle of ibuprofen out and pressed down and turned the cap to open it, shaking one out onto her hand and then getting a glass of milk. She took the pill and reached for the cap for the bottle.

“Good morning.”

Letting out a startled gasp, her hand jerked forward, knocking the bottle of pills all over the counter.

“Shit,” she mumbled, frantically reaching out to grab the pills before they fell into the sink.

“Sorry, I guess I startled you again.”

She gathered up the pills and poured them back into the bottle, taking a calming breath before slowly turning. Veronica slowly lifted her eyes a bit and let out a silent breath, he’d put his boxers on. Knowing she’d have to sooner or later, and not wanting him to know how nervous she was, she lifted her gaze the rest of the way, staring right at him.

“Good morning.”

“Are you…ok?”

“Yeah, I’m alright, why?”

He nodded to the bottle in her hand.

“Huh?” She looked down at the bottle, “Oh! Yeah, I’ve just got a bit of a headache and I’m…” she stopped suddenly.

“You’re…what?”

“I’m…well I’m a bit sore,” she looked away quickly.

He blinked, and then frowned, clearing his throat, “O-oh…”

“It’s alright, it’ll kick in in a little while and I’ll be fine.”

Nick stared at her, “Veronica, we need to talk…”

Oh no, here it came. She couldn’t do it; she couldn’t hear him tell her what she knew he was going to.

“Do you want breakfast? How bout some eggs and toast? I’m not sure if I have bacon though.”

“Why didn’t you stay in bed longer?” He asked suddenly.

“I wanted to get into the shower, try to get rid of the headache,” she lied.

“Ya know, I kinda hoped that…that we could ya know, wake up together, I dunno…maybe cuddle a bit or something before we ate,” Nick said softly.

Veronica stared at him, shaking her head suddenly as if to clear it, she couldn’t have heard him correctly. “Or how about oatmeal? Or Cream of Wheat? Honestly I think Frenia is better,” she went on, making her way over to the fridge.

“Veronica, will you just…”

“How many eggs do you want? Six, no seven right?” Veronica opened the fridge and poked her head in.

“C’mon, stop.”

“Coffee or juice? Coffee right? I can’t remember how you take it. Black? Just sugar I think…”

Nick reached out suddenly, grabbing her wrist, pulling her from the fridge, shutting the door, and pulling her into his arms. He frowned when he felt the slight tremble of her body.

“Stop.”

“Nick…”

“Veronica, please…talk to me, tell me what you’re thinking about.”

“I’m thinking about breakfast right now.”

He let out a breath, surprised at the small stab of hurt that coursed through him.

Veronica pulled away to look up at him, “I’m sorry Nick, I…I guess I’m a bit confused, but even so, you don’t have to worry.”

He frowned.

She pressed on, determined to not let him hurt her, “I want you to know that I don’t…I don’t expect anything from you. Last night was, well it was…” she stopped, a sad smile coming to her lips. “It was perfect and, I’ll never forget it. I just don’t want you to think that you’re obligated to anything you know? I get it ya know? I know that in your position you can’t like…and that it’s hard to…just know that I understand. It’s cool.”

He couldn’t breathe; it felt as if someone had punched him hard in the stomach.

“I’m gonna go get dressed,” she said softly, giving him a small smile before heading into her room.

Suddenly it hit him, she’d done to him, exactly what he’d been doing to all those women before and it felt lousy. In any other case, he would’ve been grateful that the girl had understood that he didn’t want a relationship, or the old tried and true lie that he just couldn’t in his line of work or that, he didn’t want to be in one. Now however, he wasn’t so sure that he couldn’t, that he didn’t want it.

Never before had he been the one getting “the talk”, he had always been the one making excuses, never letting anyone close. It was him that would blow the sex off as if it hadn’t happened or like it was no big deal. He was the one breaking hearts, hurting the girl, only this time, he was the one hurting.