- Text Size +
Elle looked over at Howie who was sound asleep next to her. His arm was draped across her stomach and his mouth was partially open. He looked gorgeous on a daily basis, but even more so when he slept. She laid her arm over his and clasped his hand gently. She was so lucky to have him. He took such good care of her. They had only been together for about 6 months and he treated her like she was the world. She sighed, thinking again for what must have been the hundreth time that night, about her AJ. Something was definately wrong with him, she knew this. It seemed like not a day would go by that she wouldn't think of that horrible night when everything ended between her and AJ. And everytime she did think about it, she would feel sick and horrible for what she did to him.

***

"Hey babe," AJ smiled at Elle when he walked in through the door that night. He leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. He looked behind her and saw a stack of luggage. Elle looked down in her lap, not being wanting to see the look in his eyes.

"Going somewhere?" AJ asked crossing his arms.

"AJ..." She sighed.

"No really where are you going? Your mom's for the weekend? Uhm or you going to London or something? How come you didn't tell me?" He was being sarcastic. God, did she hate it when he was like this.

"AJ..." She muttered again.

"Do you want to explain why you're taking a trip and you didn't even invite me?" AJ raised his eyebrows, and leaned against the wall.

"AJ, I can't do this anymore." Elle shook her head as her eyes welled up. She still kept her gaze at her lap, not wanting to see the anger in his eyes.

"Elle, do what? We love eachother, what's there to do?" AJ shrugged, not understanding how his
baby girl could ever leave him.

"It's not that simple." She wiped her eyes, trying to keep the tears from falling.

"Then simplify it for me. Elle, this must be some kind of joke because I'm not understanding how there is any reason for you to be leaving."

Elle sighed, "I just need a break."

AJ threw his hands up in the air, "Well fuck, go away for a weekend don't leave forever."

"AJ I'm not saying its forever."

"Well by the number of suitcases you've got stacked on my kitchen floor, it sure looks a hell of a lot like forever."

Elle stood up on shaky legs and put her jacket on. Reality seemed to hit AJ at that moment, was she really leaving him? She pulled up the handle of her rolling suitcase and tried to stack a bag on top of it, but it kept falling. When she finally thought it would stay she grabbed her other suitcase in the other hand and started to walk towards the door, but the bag fell again. She couldn't help it, she broke down right then and there. AJ's heart softened and he walked over to her, pushing the bags out of her hands, he wrapped her in his arms.

"Babe, what are you doing? Don't leave me." He whispered in her ear.

Elle cried into his chest, "You don't understand, I need to go AJ...its time."

He pulled her close with everything he had, "No...I'm not letting you leave." He found his face getting flushed, "Whatever this is, we can work it out."

"Not this time..." She tried pulling himself away from him, but he kept pulling her back.

"Elle...I love you...stay with me."

"AJ..."

"Why are you doing this to me?"

She finally pulled away and tried to gather her bags again. She still couldn't look at him.

He tried to plead with her, "How could you? We've loved eachother, since....since...we were sixteen years old. How do you just walk away from that?"

"You're still my best friend AJ," She hurried towards the door, struggling with her bags, and he followed.

"What?! What am I supposed to do with that? You think that will make this okay?" He grabbed her arm before she could open the door.

"It's over AJ...I'm sorry but it is..." She shook him off of her and opened the door, her hard tears falling.

"Over?" AJ whimpered.

"Over." She cried pulling her suitcases out of the door.

AJ was speechless. He wanted to run at her, he wanted to throw her suitcases back into the house, he wanted to pull her in with everything he had, but he didn't. He stood there, watching her quickly put her bags in her car. He watched her shut the door. He watched the tears fall from her eyes. Elle was leaving him?

"Goodbye AJ."

His eyes shot at her, "Tell me you don't love me."
She diverted her eyes from his and went around to open the car door.

"Tell me you don't love me Elle!" He shouted after her. She just shook her head and got in the car. She couldn't bring herself to say it.

AJ ran out of the doorway and to her car window. "Elle, baby, don't leave. Please, I'm begging you, stay with me. Whatever I did...What did I do? Elle, please..."

She started the ignition.

"Elle! Listen to me! Stay with me!" He shouted. He wanted to reach in the window and make her look at him. "I can't be......I can't be...without you..." He pounded on the window.

She pulled the car into drive.

"Elle...seriously..." How could she not look at him? "Elle!" He was yelling at her, pleading with her. He could see the tears streaming down her face. His own eyes weren't holding tears back either. They had always meant the world to eachother. They had taught eachother everything about love and friendship. They had accepted each other in everyway possible. He was her first kiss, her first time, her first love. He knew her soul and she knew his. She was really leaving him.

Her foot pulled off the break and she started to roll out of the driveway, AJ following pounding on the windows. He would have sooner that they smash open so he could get through to her. She got to the end of the driveway and pulled out.

AJ couldn't follow her any longer.

***

Elle brought a hand up to her cheek and felt her wet tears. She looked over at her sleeping Howie. Sometimes she wondered how she got in this mess. Was it even a mess? Did AJ even still want her? She didn't think it could be possible after what she did to him. She knew her reasons for leaving were ridiculous. I can't do this anymore, I need a break. People had been telling her that she would be crazy to marry her best friend. "It will never work out." They told her. She listened to her head instead of her heart. Perhaps what was even worse is that she had Howie's heart.

"Elle," Howie mumbled, his eyes sleepy, "What's wrong sweetheart?"

"Howie, go back to sleep, I'm alright." She rubbed his arm, that lay across her stomach.

"Elle, he'll be okay."

How did he know?

"No, I know." She wiped her eyes.

"You worry too much babe, and that makes me worry about you." He pulled her in tighter and kissed her forehead.

This hurt even worse, he was so good to her.

"You don't have to. Go back to sleep."

"As long as you do." He yawned.

She nodded and rested her head against his shoulder.

"I love you." Howie said before shutting his eyes again.

She paused, biting her lip. "I...love you too."

Was it a lie? She wasn't sure.