- Text Size +
Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry this chapter took so long to write, but life has gotten REALLY crazy the past like two weeks, but in honor of Unbreakable being released I pushed to update. I've now outlined like about 27 chapters of the sequel. Yay! Anyway this was an extremely hard chapter to write. Definitely a tearjerker. (I was bawling writing it actually *blushes*) Hopefully the last chapter should be posted soon.
Chapter 58

When Alyssa awoke the next morning she felt as if she’d been run over by a truck. Her throat felt dry and her head was pounding. Her eyes were so swollen with tears and lack of sleep that just opening them up seemed like an impossible task. It sort of felt like the worst hangover of her life, only the ironic part was that she hadn’t touched a sip of alcohol the night before. What she was suffering from could only be described as an emotional hangover.

Teri must’ve noticed her beginning to stir from her sleep because she sat down on the corner of Alyssa’s bed. “Hey… You awake?”

“Unfortunately,” Alyssa groaned into her pillow.

“How are you feeling?” her friend sympathetically asked.

“Like shit. I barely slept a wink all night. I feel like I never want to get out of bed.”

Teri gave her a sad grin. “Well, that attitude is only going to make you more depressed. The hardest part is getting out of bed, but once you do, you’ll start to realize that you’re a lot stronger than you think you are, and you will get through this.”

Alyssa sighed. She knew that Teri was only trying to help, but the motivational bullshit was actually in a way making her feel even sorrier for herself. She was humiliated enough over the events of last night, so she refused to accept pity from anyone.

“By the way, your phone’s been beeping like crazy all morning. Maybe you want to check it. It might be important,” Teri suggested.

Again Alyssa groaned, but sat up in bed and swung her legs onto the floor. Once she stood up, she slowly ambled towards the direction of where she’d thrown her bags when she’d came in and grabbed her phone. “Where’s Howie?”

“Him and the rest of the guys left for some sort of radio promo or something. They should be back in another hour or two,” she explained. “Did you see who was trying to call you?”

“It wasn’t a phone call. It’s a text.” Alyssa flipped open her phone. “It’s from Nick. What should I do?”

“Duh! Read it!” Teri prompted.

Alyssa took a deep breath and began to read the message that scrolled across her phone’s screen out loud. “Really sorry about last night. We need to talk. Meet me for breakfast at the place next to the hotel at eleven.” She stopped and groaned. “Ugh, I really don’t want to have to face him right now.”

“You’re going to have to face him sooner or later,” her friend pointed out. “Don’t you think it would be better just to get it over with now? If this is really the end for the two of you, wouldn’t you prefer to close the chapter before you head back home to New York? Otherwise it’s going to linger and you’re going to be left hanging. It would be easier to get your life back together if you at least have some closure.”

Alyssa sighed realizing that Teri was absolutely right. “That’s true,” she admitted. “I guess it would be easier to know if it’s really over or not, so I can just try to move on with my life. As it is, I don’t know what I’m going to do. My apartment is as good as gone and I already turned down a potential job offer back in New York since I had my heart set on moving out to LA.”

“So, you’re going to meet him then?” Without even giving her a chance to answer she continued. “I think it’s a good idea now that you’ve had that initial irrational reaction. Now you’ve had time for the news to process you should be able to discuss it more calmly. Plus you can’t exactly get too confrontational in a public place, right? Just don’t take any crap.”

“I’m not too sure about being able to discuss things more calmly. I’m not a very rational person to begin with,” Alyssa explained. “Hello, I’m Italian over here. It’s in my nature to be hot headed.”

Teri just laughed. “Alyssa just meet with him and try to reach some kind of amicable solution. If things start getting too intense, back away and just tell him that maybe you need some more time to think things over. I’m positive that Nick doesn’t want things to end up this way anymore than you do.”

“Fine,” she finally agreed as she began to text Nick back. “You better be right about this Teresa.”

“Look, I’m just as pissed at Nick as you are. I think it was horribly fucked up what he did to you, and I still want to chop off his testicles and hand them to him in a plastic bag, but as your friend I’m concerned about your emotional state. I can’t tell you what to do. I just think you shouldn’t end it on the same note as you did last night. You deserve better than that.”

Alyssa just nodded. Everything that Teri had just said actually made a lot of sense, even though she refused to admit it out loud.




“What happened to your face, Carter?” AJ asked, trying to control his laughter as soon as he spotted Nick that morning in the hotel lobby. “Did you lose a bet or something?”

“Ha ha… Very funny AJ,” Nick dully responded. He was in a sour mood enough already. He’d spent most of last night kicking himself in the ass for betraying Alyssa like he had. Then there was his confession about the events that had transpired between him and Stephanie. The outcome left him wondering if honesty really was the best policy. Whoever who came up with that phrase should be shot, he decided. The result had been that he hardly slept at all last night. To add insult to injury when he finally did awake for their morning radio appearance not only did he have dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep, but a bruise had already begun to form along the bridge of his nose where Alyssa had hit him the night before. Now he’d have to come up with a very creative cover story to explain his injury to the fans and reporters. Somehow he got the feeling that confessing that his girlfriend had punched him after he’d divulged that he’d messed around with her younger sister wouldn’t be the best idea. Yea… Honestly definitely is NOT the best policy.

“Seriously though Nick, what happened to your nose?” Brian asked. “That looks pretty bad. Maybe you should have it looked at or something.”

Nick just opened his mouth to tell Brian it was nothing before Howie interrupted. “Alyssa did it.”

AJ just laughed. “Alyssa? That must have been some really rough sex then.”

Howie exchanged a glance with Nick and once he realized that Nick wasn’t going to comment on the matter he proceeded to explain the situation. “Alyssa walked in on Nick with another girl… rather they walked in on her. Anyway they had a huge fight in which Nick decided it was the perfect time to blurt out that he’d fooled around with her younger sister. So, yea… Alyssa decked him. Then she came pounding on our hotel room door in tears. Teri was up half the night trying to comfort her.” He glared in Nick’s direction.

“Gee thanks Howie. I didn’t realize that it was your job to share all the details of my love life with everybody you see. Why don’t you just take an add out in the paper,” Nick sarcastically replied.

There was an uncomfortable silence before Kevin solemnly broke it. “I have to say Nick; I’m really disappointed in you. I honestly thought that you’d gotten past all that behavior. Last time we talked in LA you seemed like a reformed man. I really thought that Alyssa was going to be the one to settle you down. I mean you even told me how much you loved her and for you to admit that… Well, that’s a huge step for you. You should be ashamed for what you did. You just let probably the best thing in your life slip out of your hands. You fucked it up, just like you promised me you wouldn’t.”

Before Nick could open his mouth to defend himself, Brian chimed in. “Kevin’s right. That’s really messed up Nick. I’d never imagine doing something like that to Leighanne. I’d say that you deserved that bruise. You’ll never going to learn are you?”

“Even I’ve never gotten myself into a situation like this and that’s saying a lot,” AJ added. “Face it, you messed up big time.”

“Okay would everyone just get off my fucking back? Yes, I fucked up. I fucked up big time! But the last thing I need right now is all of you digging the knife in deeper. You’re supposed to be my friends! So, just lay off on the judgment, okay?” Nick exploded.

The other four men looked away guiltily. They hadn’t realized how hurt Nick was and for the first time they began to suspect that just maybe Nick was just as upset with himself as they were. The five of them remained silent until their SUV drove up to take them to the radio station and they piled inside. They were just pulling away from the curb when again Kevin spoke up.

“I think I speak for all of us when we say that we’re sorry if you felt that we all ganged up against you. I guess that it really doesn’t help to make you feel worse about the situation. Obviously you realized that what you did was wrong and you don’t need us to beat you over the head about it. We just want what’s best for you Nick. I know that you’re probably really upset over this, but we need to come up with some sort of game plan.”

Nick looked confused. “What do you mean game plan?”
Kevin sighed as he looked sadly over at the younger man. “We’re going to have to come up with some kind of excuse to explain why you have a bruise across your nose. Didn’t you stop to think what you’re going to say to reporters and fans when they ask you? Did you really think that they wouldn’t notice?”

Nick had to admit that he hadn’t even thought that far ahead. His mind had been too preoccupied with other things to really consider the implications his appearance would have on the rest of the group. He shrugged. “I don’t know… I hadn’t really thought about it.”

“Well, you better start.” Kevin did not look at all pleased.

“Maybe we could say that Nick got mobbed by a group of rabid fans and during the scuffle he accidentally got hit,” Howie suggested, in an effort to break the tension.

“Or maybe we could say that he was attacked by a blow up doll that we got him as a joke for his birthday!” AJ contributed, trying to hold back laughter at the ridiculous scenario.

Brian grinned. “Or we could just say that he was attacked by a giant chicken. You know, like in Family Guy.”

Even Kevin’s face began to crinkle up into an amused expression. “We could always blame Paris.”

Hearing all of their outlandish excuses nick couldn’t help, but smile just a little bit, even though it was the last thing he wanted to do. This is what he loved about the rest of the guys. One minute they could all be lecturing him on his latest stupid mistake, and the next they could be saying or doing something completely goofy that made him laugh. He had to admit that he could use a little bit of humor just then. “Thanks for the suggestions guys. But I think I’m going to go with the tried and true ‘I was messing around backstage and not looking where I was going and bumped into a piece of equipment’ approach. That might be the easiest to explain.”

“All right,” Kevin agreed. “We’ll back you up on it.”

Nick nodded and the conversation turned silent again. He stared out at the window for a few moments until he felt his Sidekick vibrate in his pocket. He took it out and drew in a deep breath once he saw it was a text message from Alyssa regarding the text he had sent her earlier. Eagerly he clicked the button to read the message:

Fine. I’ll meet u at 11.

That was it. He couldn’t help, but notice the coldness and the distance in the text. Maybe you’re reading into this too much? he wondered. How friendly can you be in a text message? The important part was that she had agreed to meet with him. If she truly was as pissed as Nick feared she wouldn’t have even bothered to reply.

Now he just needed to figure out exactly what he was going to say to her.




Alyssa found herself having to nearly drag herself through the motions of getting ready for her breakfast with Nick. She didn’t even bother to hide the fact that she had gotten little sleep the night before with makeup. She threw her hair up in a messy ponytail and pulled on the first thing she pulled out from her suitcase, a pair of denim shorts and a black ribbed tank top.

She mumbled a quick goodbye to Teri, before heading downstairs to the lobby. She’d just stepped off the elevator and had caught sight of the hotel’s doors across the room when she heard someone call out her name. Whipping her head around, she groaned once she spotted Stephanie and Amy coming towards her from the opposite end of the lobby. Unfortunately, it was too late now to pretend that she didn’t hear them and Stephanie was the last person that she wanted to see right now. She knew getting into a confrontation with her was something that she was unprepared for and would only make her that much more emotional by the time she met with Nick.

“I’m kind of in a hurry now,” she muttered, attempting to brush past the two young women as they approached her.

“Wait Alyssa,” Stephanie begged, grabbing her sister’s arm. “I just wanted to apologize to you for yesterday afternoon.”

Alyssa shrugged out of her grasp. “What’s there to apologize for?”

“For what I said to you yesterday. I really didn’t mean it. I honestly wish you and Nick the best and I was immature and selfish to be jealous of the way he takes up your time,” she explained. “So, I’m sorry.”

“It doesn’t matter now…”

“Of course it matters! I really regret saying what I did and you deserve an apology from me.”

It was unbelievable to Alyssa how aloof the whole situation Stephanie was being. How could she have the dignity to even look at her older sister in the eye all these years since what had transpired between her and Nick? How could she pretend to act sympathetic and regretful when her actions said something else entirely? “I don’t want your apology or your pity, so please just leave me alone. I don’t want to have this conversation with you right now.”

Stephanie looked confused. “Pity? You don’t want to have this conversation? Lyss, what are you talking about?” Her eyes swept over Alyssa and for the first time she noticed her haggard appearance. “Is there something wrong? Did something happen between you and Nick?”

Seeing that Stephanie was not going to drop the subject her expression darkened, the anger and emotion that she’d been trying so hard to control beginning to boil over. “Yea… Something did happen. To put it in your own words he ‘fucked me over like he always does.’ Go on… I know you’re just itching to throw it in my face that you were right about him, so go ahead. Tell me that you told me so,” she challenged.

Stephanie immediately looked away guiltily. “I’m really sorry Lyss. I know I made that comment last night, but I honestly never expected him to actually hurt you in any way or this soon. I really have nothing against Nick. He’s a great guy, but if he hurt you-“

“Oh, please Steph! Don’t give me that load of crap! Don’t pretend to act like you’re so concerned. The only part that you actually are telling the truth about is the part where you say that you think Nick is a great guy. And that’s only because you’re impatiently waiting for a moment like this, so that you can sink your claws into him!”

“What? You think that I’m interested in Nick?” Stephanie looked completely flabbergasted. “That’s so not even close to the truth! He’s so not my type.”

Alyssa’s voice turned cold. “That apparently didn’t stop you. Stop playing innocent with me Steph. I know the truth. Nick told me everything. All about how you pulled the poor helpless drunk routine on him. I must say, I never knew that you had such an oral fixation.”

She watched in satisfaction as the color drained from her sister’s face. “He… he told you?” she stuttered. “It was supposed to be a secret. We agreed never to tell you.”

“Well, to be fair I dragged it out of him. And I think it’s extremely fucked up that the two of you fooled around behind my back like that and then hid the fact from me for three years! You know, I’d almost expect that from Nick because there’s nothing new with him cheating on me, but you? My own flesh and blood? I can’t believe that you’d stab me in the back like that! And according to Nick you were the one who initiated it! That is beyond low!” Alyssa felt her voice rising louder and her cheeks flushed. She hoped that she wasn’t making too big of a scene.

“Lyss I really am sorry! It was a really stupid thing to do and you know how messed up I was back then. I didn’t do it to hurt you. I-“

“I don’t care how messed up you were back then! Something like this is unforgivable in my book,” she interrupted.

“You don’t mean that, Lyss.”

“Then obviously you don’t know me very well. And don’t call me Lyss. I only let the ones I love call me by that.”

Stephanie’s face practically crumbled. “Alyssa I know you’re angry, but you’re saying things that you don’t mean…”

“I know exactly what I’m saying and I mean every word of it! When you come back home don’t even think about trying to call me or get in touch with me. I know that as sisters we’ll have to run into each other from time to time, but as far as I’m concerned, you’re dead to me! I’m done with you!” With that she spun around and began to walk away.

“Alyssa! Wait!” she could hear Stephanie’s voice plead.

Alyssa kept on walking. From a distance she could hear Amy’s voice screeching over her shoulder begging to know all of the intimate details between her and Nick and Alyssa couldn’t help but smirk. Being subjected to Amy’s incessant questions was punishment enough.

Now that she’d closed the door on one relationship she had to admit that she felt a little lighter. Now it was time to face down another. Would she decide to slam the door in Nick’s face for good this time? Or would she go running back into his arms naively like she always did? Alyssa had to admit that she didn’t know.



When she stepped inside the small diner adjacent to the hotel a few minutes later, her eyes scanned the booths that were littered with a few stray people, searching for Nick. At first she didn’t recognize him until a guy in the corner booth took off his baseball cap to smooth down his unruly blonde hair. He was wearing a pair of oversized aviator sunglasses, obviously trying to look inconspicuous. Alyssa took a deep breath and approached the booth, sitting across from him.

“Sorry I’m late” she muttered, finding it hard to look at him directly. “I had something that I had to take care of first before coming here.” She finally found the courage to glance up at him just as he slipped off his sunglasses and she gasped when she saw his appearance. There was a purplish bruise forming over his nose and his eyes appeared slightly swollen. She wasn’t sure if it was because of the blow she’d given him or from lack of sleep. Either way, he looked as if he had just as rough a night as her.

Nick must’ve noticed her shocked expression because he smirked. “And the fans used to think that Willa was the abusive one.” Alyssa knew that it was his attempt at a lame joke, but it did nothing to ease the tension that she felt between them.

“I’m so sorry Nick,” she quickly apologized. “You know I’m normally not the kind of person who goes around punching people. I still can’t believe I did that to you. I’m really sorry for causing you any unnecessary problems.”

Nick just shrugged. “I suppose that I deserved it. I kind of went a little too far with that remark about giving head. That was a pretty asshole kind of comment.”

“I guess that makes us even then.” Alyssa paused for a moment to look down at the menu on the table in front of her.

“Oh, I ordered for you already. Figured it would be easier so we don’t get interrupted,” he explained. “Is pancakes all right?”

“Pancakes are great. Thanks.” The two were quiet for an awkward moment until Alyssa broke the silence. “So, how did you play off that bruise to like the reporters and stuff?”

“Don’t worry… I didn’t tell them that you did this to me, if that’s what you’re wondering. The official excuse is that I walked into some equipment backstage after the show last night. Pretty lame huh?”

“Ehh… Better than the truth I suppose.”

Nick nodded, but then turned serious. “Look, I wanted to talk to you face to face because I feel like last night we were both angry and upset and confused and I think that we needed some time to let things sink in. We need to talk about what happened last night without letting our emotions get in the way.”

“I agree,” Alyssa slowly admitted.

“I want to start by saying that I’m extremely sorry for the whole Michelle thing. Not only should’ve I had more sense than to believe her, but I should’ve known better than to even place myself in a situation where I could be taken advantage of like that,” he began. “I mean alcohol plus an overeager fan on top of feeling rejected is always a recipe for disaster and I should know that by now.”

Alyssa nodded. “You’re right. You should’ve known better. It really hurt my feelings that you’d believe some random fan that was looking to get you into bed, over me.” Nick opened his mouth to defend himself, but she cut him off with her hand. “Yes, I know you were drunk and that affected your ability to think clearly, but that can’t always be your excuse. I mean I legitimately didn’t call you for a good reason. I really wanted to completely surprise you. After that one phone conversation we had and you told me that you’d rather be with me over other girls because of the fact that you know I’m not searching through a bag of tricks to impress you, I decided I really wanted to do something special for you for your birthday. You’ve done a lot for me, especially with the whole condo thing and I just wanted to repay you somehow by doing something a little unexpected. You know that I don’t have a lot of confidence when it comes to things like this, so it was a big deal for me. And to have it ruined by seeing you walk in with another girl… Well, it was devastating.” She quickly tried to blink back tears that had formed in her eyes.

Nick looked down at his hands for his moment, feeling guilty. “I blew it,” he finally admitted. “I really fucked up this time. I swore that I wasn’t going to, I promised myself I wasn’t going to. Yet, I still did. Sometimes I think I can’t manage to do anything right. Kevin was right. He told me that I have a habit of sabotaging everything that’s going good in my life, and he’s right. I can’t even tell you how much it hurts me to have to have to see the pain in your eyes and know that I was the one who caused it…again. You think I’d learn, right?”

She sadly shrugged. “I’d think so, but I don’t know. I know they say you learn from your mistakes, but you keep making the same ones with me. Katie… Michelle… Stephanie…”

Again a look of pain flashed across Nick’s face. “Katie was a mess. That was me being young and stupid. You know the deal with Michelle, and Stephanie? That was something that I really didn’t want to happen. That wasn’t at all done spitefully. She pretty much forced herself onto me. If anyone you should be mad at her.”

“Oh, I am. In fact, I just had a confrontation with her back at the hotel and pretty much told her that she was dead to me. She knows what she did to me was fucked up and she’ll regret it, if not already definitely sometime soon. But the fact of the matter is as easy as it is to blame Stephanie; ,you were the adult in that situation. It should’ve been your responsibility as not only my boyfriend, but as the older party in the situation to say, ‘This is wrong. It needs to stop.’ I don’t want to hear the excuses about how it felt too good to stop or how your body took over for your mind. Granted, she may have thrown herself at you, but you placed yourself in the situation in the first place.”

Nick sighed, realizing that once again she was right. Just as it was his fault for even placing himself in the situation with Michelle, he’d done the same thing with Stephanie. He didn’t have to help her upstairs to her room. He didn’t have to stick around to see if she needed help with anything. He knew that Stephanie was flirting with him. Why’d he even encourage it? It was true. He brought along his own trouble. “You’re right,” he admitted. “I was wrong, and I swear to God if you forgive me I promise I’ll try to be good. I won’t even talk to any other girls!”

Alyssa looked at him sadly. It really was almost a pathetic sight. Nick was all, but begging on his knees for forgiveness, and it was then that Alyssa knew what she must do. Taking a deep breath, she put her hand over his. “Nick, I really wish that I could believe that to be true, but both you know and I know that’s an impossible request just based on the line of work you’re in. You’re going to have to talk to girls from time to time and I’m going to have to trust that you’re being faithful to me. And you’re going to have to trust me too. I’d love to give you a second chance, but before I can do that, both of us need to make some major changes in our lives. I think we jumped into things just because they felt comfortable and we didn’t really stop to consider if we were honestly ready to have a relationship again. I realize now that we really weren’t as ready as we thought. Both of us just have so many other personal issues that we need to work through first before we can even consider having a serious relationship with anyone. I’m a mess career wise and I need to be a lot more comfortable with who I am as a person before I can even think about loving someone else. In a way, you almost have the same problem. You’re so used to people telling you that you’re going to fail, that you wind up doing just that! Like what you said before about how you mess up everything that’s good in your life. You don’t mess it up, Nick. You’re just too scared to actually take hold of what’s in front of you. It’s like you reach a point where it hits you how deep you’re getting and you in turn run away from it. We can’t keep doing this. We’re more alike than we realized and if I forgive you and we move on with our lives it’s only going to happen again later on down the road.”

Nick looked up as if he’d been slapped. “So, what are you trying to say?”

Alyssa met his eyes and bit her lip, this time not even bothering to stop the tears that were flowing down her cheeks. “I think that we need to part ways. I don’t think this going to work out between us. At least not right now. We both need to figure out our lives or else we’re both going to wind up miserable.”

He sat back against the vinyl booth for a moment, stunned before his lips curled upwards in a sad smirk. “Isn’t it ironic that when we broke up three years ago I was the one breaking it off to figure out my life? Now you’re the one who’s giving the same speech.”

“I’d say you still need to do some figuring out. We both do. And then maybe some day in another time, and another place things might be different. For now we need our space to get our lives back on track.” She stood up from the table brushing tears away from her eyes. “I’m going to stay in New York after all.”

The news appeared to not really have fully sunk in with Nick. “Wait! Where are you going?” he cried. “The pancakes haven’t even arrived and-“

“It’ll just be easier if I left now,” she sniffled. “So, I guess this is it. Maybe I’ll run into you or something one of these days again.” Turning away from the table she began to walk in the direction of the door.

“Alyssa!” she heard his voice call out from behind her. “You can’t go! I love you, okay? I love you!”

Slowly Alyssa pivoted around and just by the abandoned expression in his eyes told her that he was being one hundred percent truthful, which of course made it even harder for her to walk away even though she knew she had to. “You never told me that before.”

“Yes, I did!” he insisted. “Remember before you left LA? I told you I loved you. I wasn’t planning on telling you then or in that way, but it just kind of slipped out. And you didn’t believe me. You told me I was just ‘caught up in the moment.’”

Alyssa closed her eyes as she painfully remembered the moment. “I did. I’ll admit it. I guess I was in a bit of denial, because I wanted so much for it to be true, and well truthfully it wasn’t quite the way I hoped you’d tell me. Neither is this, but…” she paused and sighed. “I love you too Nick. I love you so much. You’ve done so much for me these past six months and I wouldn’t trade in a moment of it. But because I love you I need to let you go. Not just for my sake, but for yours as well.” Before she completely broke down, she spun on her heels and hurried out of the diner before he could even reply.

She didn’t let herself fully break into sobs until she was nearly two blocks away from the diner. She wasn’t even sure which direction she’d even walked in. Finally feeling as if she was safe, she slunk down against a nearby wall and cried. That had absolutely been the hardest thing she’d ever had to do in all twenty-five years of her life.




After Alyssa had left him at the diner, Nick had just felt numb. He wasn’t sure exactly how long he sat staring at the uneaten plate of pancakes in front of him before getting up and leaving. He’d headed back to the hotel and holed himself in his room, not speaking to anyone. He still could not believe that he and Alyssa were over. And this time it was her who had ended things. It seemed bizarre to him since she always seemed to be the one pushing them along. Maybe she was right though. He was a mess. He thought back to where he’d been when they last broke up and he realized that he really hadn’t come very far at all. In fact, if possible he was actually worse off. Yes, he’d had his freedom that he’d originally wanted so badly, but with it came other vices that he’d acquired. The single life had led him into a world of constant partying and women that he’d never really fully been able to exit. Instead it was a place that he’d retreat to when things got too tough to handle.

Then of course there was his family situation that left him even more fearful about taking steps to maybe someday start a family. Just looking at the shambles that his family was currently in made him very reluctant to even think about having one of his own. He never wanted to put a child through what he’d gone through growing up.

Alyssa had been right, he realized. There were several things going on in his life that he needed to improve before he could even think about getting involved with another woman and perhaps this was just the wake up call he needed. It was too late to salvage what was left of their relationship, but it wasn’t too late to begin to make some major changes in his life. His plan was unknown to him at that point in time, but he knew that he’d have to start turning things around after the tour wrapped up.

But currently he felt anything but optimistic about the future. He was still upset and angry at himself and he knew that only with time would he be able to come to terms with Alyssa’s decision. In the meantime all he wanted to do was sit around in his hotel room and sulk, but unfortunately that was an impossible option for him. They had another show in Sydney the next day, so they were leaving early that evening for the trip. Even though Nick was thankful to have the privacy of his own tour bus, he knew that leaving the hotel would mean running into the other guys and he wasn’t quite sure how he felt about that. He really wasn’t ready to admit to them that Alyssa had indeed dumped him and he really wasn’t feeling up to their sympathy and pity.

Which is why for the first time the whole entire tour, Nick had himself packed up and ready a good twenty minutes before they were scheduled to board the buses. Typically, Nick was the last one out of the hotel and always causing the other buses to wait for him. This time though he just wanted to get on his bus and be by himself, hopefully avoiding anyone else. He swung his backpack over his shoulder and wheeled his suitcase out into the hallway heading out towards the direction of the elevator. As usual it was nowhere near his floor which meant that he’d have to wait impatiently for the doors to open.

While he was waiting he heard voices approaching and inwardly groaned once he realized that it was Teri and Howie walking arm in arm towards him, both pulling suitcases. It seemed that he wasn’t the only person looking to get an early start. “Wow, you’re out early,” Howie greeted. “I think this is a new record for you or something.”

Nick just shrugged, not wanting to get involved with much small talk. “I just wanted to get on the bus.”

Howie’s face softened. “How are you holding up man?”

He just made a face and kind of looked away giving the indication that he didn’t want to talk about it. Howie gave him an understanding smile. “Well, if you need to talk I’m here for you, ok?”

Teri who stood with her arms crossed over her chest had been avoiding any eye contact with him since walking over. Her head finally snapped up as she glared at him. “I’m glad to see that you actually seem to have a conscience.”

Nick looked confused. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Please… You can’t even say two words in your defense! What you did to Alyssa was beyond fucked up and I can barely look at you because it makes me that sick!”

“Teri…” Howie begged, grabbing her arm. “Maybe you should calm down.”

“I should calm down?!” she repeated her voice rising with indignation. “He pretty much shattered Alyssa’s world and you’re okay with that? Neither of you were up with her at three am this morning trying to calm her down because she was hysterically crying! I thought you were a halfway decent guy Nick. Apparently I was wrong. You’re just another asshole. And to think I actually had respect for you? You deserve every bit of pain that you’re going through right now!”

Nick looked away and squeezed the bridge of his nose, sensing a tension headache forming between his temples. “Are you done yet?”

“Oh, I’m just getting started! I don’t think you even realize what you let slip away from your hands! To think that you passed off a great girl like Alyssa for another dime a dozen groupie? Are you blind or just stupid?”

Finally Nick found that he couldn’t take anymore. What gave Teri the right to act as if she knew how he felt? He’d tell her a thing or two! “You know what Teri? The situation doesn’t concern you and if you brought it up just to rub it in my face how badly I messed up then just save it. Yes, I fucked up! I fucked up big time! And trust me; the guilt that I feel right now is punishment enough! I don’t need you making me feel worse about the whole damn situation! I just lost the best thing in my life and if you think that I could care less you’re dead wrong. Alyssa meant more to me than you seem to think she did. So, instead of taking sides here, maybe you should just mind your own fucking business!” He paused for a moment, breathing heavily from his outburst and noticed the look of shock on Teri’s face. Obviously she hadn’t expected him to react that strongly and Nick wondered if he’d been too harsh.

Just then the ding of the elevator sounded and the door opened up. Only instead of stepping inside, Nick picked up his suitcase that lay by his feet. “I think I’ll take the stairs,” he muttered.

“But we’re on the tenth floor Nick,” Howie pointed out.

“It’s all right. I need to burn off some anger.” Without waiting for either of their responses he turned around and dragged his suitcase towards the direction of the stairwell door.