He remembered that he had the pictures from the day they first met and felt a little happier while looking at these. God, Barbara, we could be together right now, too...and not only now...maybe for ever?
Finally sleepiness overcame him at 3am. He buried himself into the cushions and blankets and fell asleep. The only reason why he could get himself to sleep was that he imagined that she’s there with him, just within a reach...
Here with me tonight,
I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine...
Take flight on the wind
Of wishing you were here
Barbara woke up having a light headache. It was already 12 am. God, for how long did I sleep? I should never do something like that again! But I have to forget, forget him.
She took once again some pain relieving medication and soon felt better. Sure, her face had traces from the stressful night, but with the help of some luxury make up she looked totally fresh and relaxed.
The office of FASHION VICTIM Inc. did represent all the might and splendor of the company. The center of the entrance hall was decorated with her portrait so that everyone who entered the office had to look at it. Sure, Barbara hated her picture, but she was pleased by the fact that everyone had to look at it. That was kind of a relief for her, because if she had to look at herself everyday then others have to suffer of that, too.
Barbara entered the lobby of her office and saw that her secretary and personal assistant, Claudia, was visibly enjoying another box of chocolates. Usually Barbara had nothing against Claudia’s passion for sweets, but today she felt so bad and unhappy that she didn’t want to let anybody else have fun today.
‘’Claudia, what are you doing?’’
Claudia was shocked from the sudden question so almost choked a chocolate.
‘’Miss Rowland, I hadn’t expected that you will be in the office today...’’
‘’You don’t have any reason to judge what I do. Since when is my office moved to the cafeteria?’’
‘’Miss...I...I’m sorry...’’
Barbara saw that the employee was scared. She knew that she had to calm down. My personal life doesn’t have anything to do with my work. Calm down girl!
Claudia was really scared. Could this mean that her position is endangered?
‘’Why don’t you stop eating and prepare the documentation for the CEO meeting?’’ Barbara said and smiled a little forced.
The secretary put down the chocolate box and literally run to do the errand.
Barbara sat through the meetings, automatically signing and speaking what required. All of her thoughts were drifting somewhere far away, but it didn’t matter. She was doing her work and that did only matter right now.
Nick had a plan for today. He had to get to know every thing about her, to have better chances to be with her. He turned on his laptop and established himself comfortably on the couch.
The result of googling for ‘’Barbara Rowland’’ made millions of hits. The amount of her pictures and fan sites was amazing. God, she has so much fans, but thinks so low about herself! If only I could make her believe in herself!
He read through a lot of tabloid articles about her, digging even deeper into her past. Although he hated the tabloids, this time he was happy that he could find out everything more or less true about her this way.
Then he stumbled over a series of articles about Barbara and some cheesy looking guy. The romance had begun at the time she was first ranked as one of the richest young businesswoman. He, Devon Weaseldear, was an absolute no one, all he had was just being good looking. Even Nick had to admit that Devon was a lot better looking than him.
Reading further on the countless articles about Barbara and Devon he saw that Devon was always staring at the paparazzo’s camera while Barbara was only looking at him. The thing that most hurt Nick was an article about Devon after he had broke up with Barbara.
W(Weaseldear).: I wanted to break up. I don’t need her anymore.
R.: How come that?
W.: My film career is boosted now; I’m having a few offerings for lead roles in LA...
R: is that the only reason? What about the feelings for her?
W: (laughing) what feelings? She got what she wanted - me, but I got publicity. That was my only goal...
R: In the past you had told the press that you love her... Now you openly admit that you used her for your career purposes?
W: Yeah, I got what I need...
R: And you think that she was clear about your motives at the beginning of your relationship?
W: No, this silly bitch was really in love with me...and I’m not sorry for her...
Our reporters tried to get a statement about this from the press office of Miss Rowland, but we were told that there will be no commentary on Mr. Weaseldear’s inexcusable press statements....
Nick was furious after reading this article. He had experienced a lot of bashing from his ex-girlfriends in the press, but it was the first time he had read something so clearly nasty. Now he could clearly see why Barbara was so insecure while with him. Knowing now a lot from her past he couldn’t blame her.
Barbara was sitting in her office, enjoying a cup of coffee. Suddenly her cell phone rang and she dropped the cup on the carpet as she saw who is calling. It was Nick. For a moment she hesitated but then... What am I going to lose if I pick up? He can only say something that I don’t want to hear, that’s all.
‘’Hi, darling, how’s your day going?’’ he asked, and the sound of his voice made her feel so warm inside.
‘’Well, the meetings were long but insightful... signed a couple of contracts...the usual...what were you doing? Sightseeing?
‘’No, I was surfing around the net... And it’s no fun to walk around town without you...’’ he said sadly. She couldn’t stop the wish to be with him right now. She gathered herself and continued to speak.
‘’But you’ve got a car...’’
‘’I would change the car against the chance to walk around with you. No matter how far...’’ he said tenderly. ‘’What are you doing this evening?’’ she could hear a hope in his voice. I just can’t see him right now...I can’t...He has to forget me...
‘’Aw, I’m really sorry but I have an appointment this evening. It was accepted by me a month ago...’’
‘’Can you cancel it?’’
‘’No, I can’t....I’m so sorry...’’ she was lying to him. She could cancel this appointment any time; she just wanted to...to make him forget her.
‘’I respect the fact that you have to work...’’’
‘’Really? I thought you could be upset about that...’’
‘’No, I’m not upset... Sure I’m sad that I don’t get to see you, but...you have to promise me that you will at least think about me?’’
‘’Oh, Nick... I’’ she didn’t know how to say it I’ve been thinking only about you. Why can’t you forget me?
‘’I know that I’m so demanding, I keep you away from work...but it’s only because I want to be with you so madly. Last night I felt so lonely...I know we have spent only one night together but...I just can’t sleep when you’re not there with me...’’ he tried to hear what she’d say, but there was no response.
Barbara didn’t know what to say. He missed me! He really did! Can this be true?
‘’Baby, you still here?’’ he asked scared that she could hang up.
‘’I am...’’ she said, but the words couldn’t come out to say more.
‘’and something more I have to say... I’m not someone who can so easily fall like...in love. I don’t know what charm you put on me, but I just can’t imagine what I’d do if you don’t want me anymore. ‘'
Love? Why the hell is he talking about love? This just CAN’T be true...
‘’Nicky, I...’’ Hearing her say his name in a sweet way gave him a warm feeling.
‘’You know that I would do everything to be with you today?’’
‘’you really would?’’ she could hardly even speak; she was so charmed by his soft voice. .
‘’Just tell me what to do and I will do it...’’
She knew that she was close to give in. Girl, you can’t, you just can’t do this!
‘’But you can do nothing about my schedule...’’
‘’I know...it has been planned months ago...but I really miss you...Do you miss me? Even for a little bit?’’
She was all melting away from his words; she knew that if he would be there she wouldn’t hesitate for a second, but...on the phone it was different...
‘’Nick...I do miss you...but my work was planned before...and you came so suddenly into my life...but it doesn’t mean I’m not happy that I met you.’’’
‘’Knowing that you miss me will make me miss you even more. What about tomorrow? Maybe I can see you then?’’ he had so much hope in his voice that she just couldn’t lie anymore to him.
‘’I have a planned schedule till 3pm...Though I don’t know what can suddenly be in it after that...’’’
‘’So you could possibly meet me?’’
She wanted to agree at first, but then she remembered that she has to make him slowly forget her. I’m doing it for his sake. He doesn’t need someone like me! ‘’Nick, I can’t promise you that for sure...I really don’t know...’’
‘’But there’s always hope, isn’t it? At least I can be with you in my dreams, princess...’’
‘’You can...look...I got to go. Talk to you tomorrow, ok?’’
‘’Well...then talk to you tomorrow.’’
She really suffered...yes, suffered from the pain that was caused by the fact of rejecting Nick. She knew that if only she had said that she wanted to be with him tonight... she would have followed her desires.
/then her gaze fell over to the ruined carpet. The luxury designer item was ‘’decorated’’ with a terrible coffee stain. But it could be cleaned.
Why can’t my life be so easily be brought back to order as this carpet? Maybe I’m messing it up by myself?
