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Stepping out of the shower Abby reached for the soft towel hanging from the rack. She wrapped it around her hair and grabbed another one to wrap around her dripping body. She felt refreshed and definitely cleaned off after her bleeding nose incident. She left the steaming bathroom and entered her room to get dried off and into some comfy clothes. She decided to spend the rest of the afternoon getting some much needed rest and relaxation before her big dancing debut that evening. She took two Advil when she had gotten home so her headache had disappeared but she was still a little unstable and she didn’t want to disappoint Laney by backing out at the last minute. After drying herself off, she slipped into a pair of grey jogging pants and her favourite forest green t-shirt. She crawled into her queen size bed covered in pillows and wrapped herself in her giant white duvet. Opening the drawer to her wood end table, she rummaged around attempting to find something buried deep beneath in contents. When she finally found it, she pulled it out revealing an old friend. She grabbed a pencil from on top of the table and began writing

Dear Diary,
It’s been about two months since I have last written in you. I don’t know why I have neglected you for so long, but I guess I have a habit of neglecting things don’t I? I am just so confused right now and I don’t know what to do. You of all people know me best and just how much I desire love. It’s something I’ve always dreamed of finding. How many endless nights did I used to spend writing to you about all my hopes for the perfect marriage or my dream of finding my soul mate? Too many I suppose, but what was I supposed to do to fill my nights spent alone. All I had were my dreams. But those are gone now. I have given up all hope of ever finding love in this world. Now, I know that sounds very pessimistic but unfortunately that is all I know. I have been telling myself for months now that love is not going to be a part of my life so I better learn to accept it. I’ve been having a very hard time because I don’t want to accept it. But love is just not a reality for me. I’ve been turning down every date I am offered and I don’t know why. If I want love so bad then why do I refuse every guy that can possibly give it to me? I met the sweetest guy on the beach today who basically saved my life and when he offer’s to take me out for coffee, what do I do? I say no and walk away. Why the hell do I do this? I think I must be cursed or something. I could see that he was totally interested in me and for some strange reason I turned him away. This guy, Nick, could have been the love of my life and I didn’t even give him a chance. I’ll probably never see him again either. I’m so confused. Maybe I’m not ready for love. Maybe I shouldn’t give up on it and continue to search for it. No, I can’t do that. That is exactly the train of thought that has led me to this problem in the first place. Why couldn’t I have been offered dates before I gave up. It seemed that nobody was remotely interested when I was hopeful. I would have said yes to anyone in an instant. Ever since I have given up my hope, I have had many offers, but I didn’t take them. Maybe I didn’t want to get hurt, but not having love has hurt me even more. I don’t know what to do about this. These contrasting emotions are going to drive me crazy, not that they haven’t already. I’m just getting to the point now it seems that I have nowhere to go and nothing to live for. I need someone, anyone to rescue me before I do something I’ll regret.

She stopped writing as the tears began to flow heavily from her hazel eyes. She had washed all her makeup off so she didn’t have to worry about it smudging, not that she’d really be concerned with her looks at this moment. All she could think about was her life and how sad it really was. She was reaching her breaking point. On the verge of a complete breakdown she closed her eyes and continued to sob, slowly drifting into a light sleep.