Chapter 30

            “Yeah, Nick, I guess you did,” responded Caryss awkwardly.  This wasn’t how she had envisioned telling him, and his reaction was not ideal, especially in front of other people.  She had backed herself against the wall and was finding it hard to break away from it, fearing that it was the only thing keeping her standing. 

            “Car, are you okay?” Liz asked, watching her friend cling to the wall and not move. 

            “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!” Nick yelled, not giving Caryss a chance to answer Liz.  “You’re already showing!  How far along are you?”  He started pacing back and forth, running his hand frantically through his hair. 

            “Almost five months,” Caryss whispered.  God, it’s hard to breath.  Is the room spinning?  It’s like a million degrees in here.  I can’t breathe.  AJ and Liz noticed the color draining from her face and how her legs were trembling as she leaned into the wall. 

            “What?” hissed Nick, his face turning red and his eyes glowing with anger.  “Five months?  You’ve known for five months and didn’t tell me!  What were you planning to do?  Wait until you gave birth and then splash it all over the tabloids to get back at me?” 

            “No, Nick, that’s not it, I--”

            “How could you do this?  You told me you were on birth control?  Was this your plan all along?  To get pregnant and get my money?  Were you trying to get attention?”  Nick was so furious that random accusations and attacks were flying out of his mouth without thinking about it.  He didn’t care how they were hurting Caryss, and he didn’t stop to think how badly he would regret it later.  All he thought about at that moment was delivering the final blow to her. 

            “You are nothing but a lying, deceitful slut.  I should have never gotten involved with you and now I’m stuck with you!  Well, that is until we get a paternity test done and I found out I’m not really the father!”  He grabbed his car keys off of the table and bolted out the door, slamming it viciously behind him. 

            Liz and AJ stood in the foyer, mouths gaping open in disbelief of what Nick had just said.  Stacie and Jim had walked back into the room just in time to witness the horrible display as well. 

            “I knew it,” Caryss whispered as she slid down the wall into a crumpled heap on the ground.  She lay on the cold, hardwood floor, crying so hard it that she barely made a sound at all.  Her body shook with pain and sadness as once again the man she loved had hurt and betrayed her.

            “I let her down Alex.  I promised her that everything was going to be okay and it’s not.”  Liz looked down at her hands as tears filled her eyes. 

            “Lizzie you can’t blame yourself for any of this,” said Stacie gently as she took a seat next to Liz.  “You reassured her, just like I would have done, just like any friend would have done and there is nothing wrong with that.  You couldn’t have known how Nick would react or what would happen.” 

            AJ put his arm around Liz and pulled her closer on the double seated chair in the waiting room.  “Stacie’s right honey; you told her what she needed to hear to do what she needed to do.  It didn’t work out the way we had all hoped, but it’s not your fault.” 

            Liz sat quietly for a minute, allowing the tears to fall from her eyes, the events of the evening stewing in her mind.  “Who’s fault is it then?” she screamed as she stood up from the chair and paced around the waiting room.  “Someone needs to be accountable for this!  When she finds out she lost the baby, she’s going to want answers!  Who are we going to tell her is responsible, how are we going to explain to her why she lost the baby?”  Liz sank down onto one of the couches and tucked her legs up to chest and cried. 

            “Baby, we don’t know if she lost the baby,” soothed AJ as he walked over to her and rocked her gently.  “We don’t know anything yet.  And it’s true, she’s going to want to blame somebody if anything is wrong, but whose fault is it really?”

            “It’s mine,” a deep voice announced from the doorway.  Everyone looked up and saw Nick, disheveled and upset, his eyes red from the tears he so obviously had been crying and his face flushed with guilt. 

            “Nick, man, where have you been?  We’ve been trying to get a hold of you for the past two hours!”  AJ was so relieved to see that Nick was okay, but pissed off that he was okay at the same time.  The only reason he would have accepted for Nick not answering his phone and returning his calls during an emergency was for him to be dead, and that he unmistakably was not. 

            “I went to my house, err, what used to be my house.  I wanted to be near the ocean.  You know when I’m upset it calms me,” he said matter-of-factly to AJ.  “When I got there, all the memories of Caryss and I together on the beach came flooding back to me, and then I realized the horrible things I said to her.  And now, she’s--”  He couldn’t continue, he started sobbing again as he had done so many times over the past two hours. 

            AJ wrapped Nick in a supportive hug, knowing how much agony his friend was in.  “What took you so long to come here?”  AJ asked as he released Nick from the hug. 

            “I don’t know,” he whimpered as he sat down in a chair and covered his face with his hands.  “I’ve screwed up so bad with everything and I just can’t, I’m not, I don’t…” he trailed off, finding words hard to come by. 

            “Excuse me, has the father arrived yet?” a nurse asked as she walked into the waiting area. 

            “Yeah, he’s right here,” said AJ as he patted Nick on the back. 

            “Good, the patient has been asking for him.  Right this way,” the nurse said as she held out her arm for Nick to follow her.

            “She’s been asking for me?” he repeated, bewildered.  “Why would she be asking for me after what I said to her?”  The nurse gave him a puzzled look, unaware of the situation. 

            “Why don’t you go to her and find out?” Stacie coaxed, hoping that things would turn around for the better from here on out.  Nick nodded his head and followed the nurse to Caryss.  The nurse gently pushed open the door and walked into the room, Nick following right behind her. 

            “Caryss,” he whispered as he saw her lying in the bed of emergency room exam cubicle three.  The doctor turned around at the barely audible sound and a surprised look came across his face. 

            “Nick Carter isn’t it?  I think you’re on my daughter’s wall at home,” he said with a smile as he extended his hand to Nick.  “I’m Dr. Reed, and I’m assuming you’re the father?”  Nick nodded his head as he looked at Caryss.  She had not opened her eyes since he came into the room and he wondered how she could have been asking for him. 

            “She’s resting right now.  She was really upset when she was brought in and we gave her some pregnancy safe medication to calm her a little,” explained Dr. Reed as he turned back to Caryss.  “Would you like to see your baby?” he asked, and for the first time, Nick realized that he was in the middle of doing an ultrasound. 

            Nick walked over to the side of the bed and looked at the screen with black and white splotches all over it.  “Is it okay?” he asked cautiously. 

            “Yes, the baby seems to be doing fine, but Caryss is not.  Her blood pressure is out of control and that will cause some serious problems for the remainder of her pregnancy if it’s not monitored very closely.”    

            “Does the baby have Down syndrome?”

            “We are waiting for the results of the amniocentesis we did earlier to come back.  When Caryss told us what was going on with her pregnancy, we decided to do one, and it went very well.  Caryss’s blood pressure has also stabilized for the time being, another good thing.” 

            Nick nodded his head at what the doctor had said, but inside he had no idea what the doctor was talking about.  Note to self: Buy books about pregnancy and read all of them….twice.   

            “I have some rounds to do, but I’ll be back in when I get the results back,” said Dr. Reed as he gathered his things and exited the room.  When he was gone, Nick sat down on the side of the bed and stared at Caryss. 

            “I’m so sorry Car,” he said quietly as he raised his hand to caress her face.  “I have done nothing but hurt you since I met you.”  He leaned down and planted a soft kiss on Caryss’s forehead. 

            “That’s not true.”  Nick looked down at Caryss and smiled.  She fluttered her eyes open and looked at him.  “You did make me happier than I’d ever been too.  It wasn’t all bad.” 

            “I didn’t mean those things I said to you earlier.  To someone else, I might have, but not to you.  I know you, and I know you would never do that to me.  I’m sorry.” 

            “Why did you cheat on me Nick?”  That was a question he was not expecting her to ask at that moment. 

            “My ex-girlfriend Hayley called me that evening and said she needed to talk to me.  I don’t know why, but I agreed, and we met at my house since I didn’t want to be seen in public with her.  I was stupid and I didn’t keep my guard up and then we were kissing and…”  He paused for a minute, debating whether or not to tell her what he wanted to say.  She’s not going to believe me anyway, so why bother, he told himself.

            “Just tell me Nick-I can see in your eyes that you’re keeping something from me.  It’s done and over with, it’s not going to make a difference now.” 

            “I didn’t have sex with her.”  He spat it out, and then waited for a response from Caryss.  She doesn’t believe me, I know she doesn’t.  I should have just pretended I did and tried to move on with her thinking I am guilty cause now she’s going to think I can not own up to my own actions.   

            “What?”  Oh God, please let it be true!  Please tell me he wasn’t unfaithful to me.  I need him so much; I want to be with him more than anything! 

            “I didn’t have sex with her Caryss; I stopped her before it got that far.  I was so stupid; I should have known that she would try something, but I--”

            He could not continue his sentence because Caryss’s lips were suddenly pressed against his, offering up the sweet kiss he had been without for the past four and half months.  He kissed her back, not about to let this moment pass him by. 

            “I love you Caryss, and I promise that I will never do anything to put our relationship or our love in jeopardy again.”  He paused, and looked down.  “That is, if you’ll have me back.” 

            Before she could answer him, the door opened and Dr. Reed came in with a solemn look on his face.  “I have the results from the amniocentesis.”