- Text Size +
After the dolphins, which we both enjoyed very much ('almost as cool as the sharkies!', said Michael) we went on to see the whales, starfish, jellyfish, and other strange creatures, before it became one o'clock and I decided it was time to leave.
"Let's have lunch at the park." I suggested.
"Yeah! On the swings!" Mike agreed.
"Well, maybe not on the swings. But you can play on the swings as long as you want after we have our sandwiches, 'kay baby?" I persuaded.
"All right."
We had a good meal and after it, with Mike's leftover bread (because, as I'd predicted, he didn't eat the entire sandwich) we fed the ducks at the pond, which was quite enjoyable, even for me.
"Look at the one with the green neck! He ate my bread pieces!" said Mike.
"They're called crumbs, honey." I corrected, looking at the duck in question. "He's a nice one, isn't he?"
"Yes." Michael agreed.
Then I was pushing him on the swings for some time before he got tired of it, and I was standing there wondering what to do next when Michael himself thought of a solution.
"Can I push YOU now?" he suggested excitedly.
I laughed. "Sure, go on." I sat on the swing and laughed as Mike grunted and pushed with all his might, managing to push me slightly. "You're really strong, aren't you?" I smiled, taking his arm with my hand carefully. Mike showed me his biceps and I used the occasion to...
"Tickles, tickles!" I shouted.
Mike laughed and laughed. "Stop, ha, ha, ha, stop!" he said. He seemed truly happy. Once again, I wondered how I could have such a wonderful son.
Then we both fell on the grass, and I began rolling down the hill, laughing. Mike threw himself after me with a fit of giggles.
"That was fun!" he said, breathing heavily and laughing.
"Yeah, it was!" I agreed, taking him in my arms. I stood up and began to make believe Mike was a helicopter by turning around in circles, which only managed to make him laugh harder.
"Okay, honey." I said looking at my watch. "It's just about time to go if we want to fit in a short visit to Josh before going to pick up Jamie."
Michael looked let down, and I tried to figure out why. After all, he'd just had a really great day. Then it made sense to me that Michael was feeling totally neglected since Josh had been diagnosed, and that's why he'd had so much fun today: not so much from the aquarium, nor the activities that followed it, nor even the picnic. It was all the attention. Michael was yearning for attention. Kids his age need it more than others. And, being the youngest it usually happens that you don't get much of it.
Sure, I'd stayed home a few times within the last few months, but mostly I had been concentrating on Josh, my oldest. I thought I had been doing that out of love, and I was, really, but my children didn't interpret it like that. They thought that I loved Josh more than any of them and that that was the reason I was neglecting to spend some quality time with them.
The babysitter may have tried to tell me several times, but in all honesty I was so wrapped up in worry about Josh, that I never realized just how much I was hurting my children by leaving them behind.