Somewhere I Belong

Chapter Two: Life Will Go On

“Tender dreams, shadows fall. Love too sweet, to recall. Dry your eyes, Face the dawn. Life will go on, life will go on. Broken heart find your way. Make it through just this day. Face the world on your own. Life will go on” (**)

“Aaron be careful!” Alyssa shouted as she and Aaron carried the wrought iron frame up the stairs of her condo narrowly missing the wall.

Aaron rolled his eyes, “Why didn’t you get professionals to do this?” He asked as they set the largest part of the frame against the wall of the master bedroom.

“’Cause I’m cheap.” Alyssa shot back making Aaron laugh at her. She was glad that he was there to help her with all of her things. Before moving she’d decided that she was only going to take whatever could fit in boxes, since those were the only things that were truly hers, Nick had bought all the furniture in the house when they’d moved in.

They walked back down the stairs hitching the dolly underneath her new dresser lifting it carefully so not to injure themselves as they carried that up the stairs as well.

Coming back down Aaron flopped down on the couch and whined, “Seriously Ali can we take a break?”

Alyssa gave him a strange look and then giggled, “You sound exactly like Nick.”

“Do not.”

“Do too.” Alyssa countered. “Same damn whine. At least his is sexier though.” She shot back getting a sad look on her face as he shot her a look.

Aaron patted the cushion next to him motioning for her to sit. As she did so he asked, “Why did you two break up?”

Alyssa looked at her hands willing herself to control her emotions. “We had a fight. He’d just gotten the news about Kevin leaving the group and when I told him that I couldn’t go on tour with him for the last leg, he flipped out.”

“Did you expect him to?”

Alyssa sighed, “Yeah, but I expected him to get over it pretty quickly, and not ask me to quit my job.”

Aaron rolled his eyes, “Sounds like him all right. He was pissed and not thinking. He loves that you love your job, and under any other circumstance he wouldn’t have asked you that.”

“I just…I’m highly annoyed at him right now.” Alyssa replied with an exasperated sigh.

Later on…

“Ok pizza’s ordered…”Alyssa stated coming back into the living room seeing Kellie and Aaron in a lip lock. She stood there a moment staring at them with an amused smirk on her face.

Kellie noticed that Alyssa was there and broke apart, “What?”

“Umm is there something I should know about?” Alyssa retorted as she sat down on the other side of the enormous ‘L’ shaped sofa.

“Should we tell her?” Aaron asked glancing to Kellie as she nodded in agreement. Aaron turned back to Alyssa still with an amused smirk on her face. “We’re dating…right?”

Kellie grinned at him, “Right, we’ve been out on like what four dates?”

“In the past week.”

Alyssa’s eyebrows raised at the two of them, “Actual dates?”

Kellie laughed a little, “Yeah unlike you and Nick we didn’t hop in the sack first then decide to date later.”

Aaron gave them both shocked expressions, “That’s how it happened?”

“Pretty much yeah.” Alyssa replied rolling her eyes as Aaron raised his eyebrows at her. “What it’s not like he got me drunk or anything. He and I had a stupid pact that if he and I were single and I were still a virgin by my 21st birthday that he’d be my first. It was never taken seriously until about a month before my birthday when we discussed it and decided that yeah if I’m single, because I was still with Tom at the time, that it’d be ok and that we wouldn’t let it get in the way of our friendship.”

“And how did that work out?” Kellie asked with a sarcastic grin.

Alyssa laughed, “It didn’t I fell in love…” She explained as Kellie gave her a look, “Okay I realized that I was still in love, that I had never moved on like I had tried so desperately to.”

“Looking back on it now, I can see how much he loves you.” Aaron stated getting a look from them both. “I’m serious, after you hurt yourself Ali, the way he looked at you changed. Like before he’d always looked at you with admiration that you were so strong and fun to be with. But after that he changed to really trying to protect you. I remember him saying something to me about it. How he wished he’d known sooner about you cutting because it killed him to see you in so much pain.” Aaron explained as Alyssa got a solemn look on her face.

Meanwhile…

Nick looked around him seeing future Hall of Famers surrounding him and the guys. He looked to his right side, the side Alyssa normally would be and saw Howie there instead. He sighed, she always wanted to go to Hawaii and now here he was getting ready for the Pro-Bowl half time special which combined two of Alyssa’s favorite things, music and football. He wondered what she was doing right now. No doubt moving her things into her new place.

That was going to suck, going home and not seeing her there, the house was going to be so empty without her. Nick had gotten used to seeing her stuff lying everywhere, bras, thigh highs, shoes, girlie magazines, soccer cleats and now he wasn’t going to see that anymore.

AJ patted him on the shoulder noticing the look Nick had, “Don’t worry man,” He whispered, “She’ll come around.”

Nick rolled his eyes, he didn’t want her to come around. He wanted her back, in his arms, in their bed, where she belonged.

They ran through sound check and talked with the players. Then went back to the hotel. Chris looked at his friend, happy Nick had invited him, David, James and Brent along, “So, are you okay man? You’ve been really off lately.”

Brent sighed he knew exactly what was bothering him, “Chris leave him alone. He’s missing a certain brunette.”

Chris chuckled a bit, “Dude you need to get laid, get her off your mind.”

Nick shot him a look, “I don’t need to get laid, I just need to talk things through with Lissa and everything will be okay again.” He explained with an exasperated sigh.

David looked at him, “You are so whipped.”

Nick rolled his eyes, “I love her, I’m sorry if that means I’m whipped but I don’t care. And when she and I get back together I’m gonna marry her.”

A collective gasp rang through the room, “Dude, are you sure?” James asked.

Brent smiled at Nick, “Hey guys chill he’s really in love with her. And she loves you too right?”

Nick grinned a little, “Yeah she does, she’s just mad because I said some really stupid shit that I didn’t mean.”

“What did you say?”

“I asked her to quit her job. And you guys know how independent she is, she just got really pissed and we fought and said stupid things and broke up. So I’m giving her time and letting her figure out that she can take care of herself, she even moved out.”

“But dude, marriage, as in sex with one woman for the rest of your life.” Chris reasoned.

Nick laughed a little, “Correction sex with Alyssa for the rest of my life. That right there is paradise, seriously she’s the best that I’ve ever had. It’s not just the sex either it’s everything her whole attitude, the way she smiles, cooks, how amazing it is to wake up next to her.” Nick shot back.

James smiled at Nick noticing the change in his voice when he spoke about Alyssa. “Well you better get back with her, just talking about her changes you.”

“What do you mean?” Nick asked perplexed.

James laughed a little, “When you were talking about her, your mannerisms completely changed, you look happy when you talk about her.”

“Yeah and if I hadn’t fucked up she’d be at home right now grading papers and preparing her lectures, instead of moving her things out of our house.”

“That’s crazy though you getting married, next you’re gonna tell me that you want her to get pregnant.” David retorted.

Nick got a hurt look on his face, “She had a miscarriage last summer.” Everyone got shocked expressions on their faces. Nick continued sighing a little, “She was three months, and didn’t realize it. She told me after it happened, I was a fucking wreck. I really wanted her to get pregnant, and then to find out she was pregnant and lost the baby hurt like hell.”

“What might of happened if she didn’t have a miscarriage?”

Nick thought a moment, “I’d be at home with her and our daughter.”

“Daughter?”

Nick sighed, “Yeah the doctors told her at the hospital. She was so broken up about it, she thought it was all her fault. But we got through it and were doing so well and let one stupid fight fuck up the best relationship I’ve ever had.”

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Alyssa Narrating:

Okay I know what you’re thinking, that I’m an idiot right?

Well yeah you got me there I am an idiot. But so is my boyfriend or well my ex-boyfriend at the moment. I’m so unbelievably disappointed in him. I knew that he wasn’t going to like the fact that I couldn’t go.

And yes it was horrible timing with the whole Kevin thing but I couldn’t not tell him then. I’d put it off for far too long. I knew before Kellie and I surprised him that I wouldn’t be going but I couldn’t tell him. I didn’t want to tell him, in case there was a change and somehow I could go.

But obviously that didn’t happen.

Furthermore I can’t believe I actually moved out. Actually got my own place, a place that’s just mine and no one else's. I love it, it’s perfect, it’s got all the architectural styles that I like and the furniture I picked out fits me. Aaron helped me out with that one. I love that kid, well he’s not a kid anymore. That alone is just weird, Aaron an adult?

I mean I knew it would happen that Aaron and Angel would eventually have to grow up, but still he’s matured and is dating my best friend. Seeing him and Kellie together is kind of cute, true the age difference is there but still he dotes on her like no other. She eats it up too, and they look genuinely happy together. It’s just not something I’m used to.

Now I know why everyone would make fun of Nick and I. Kel and Aaron are sickeningly cute. And just seeing them together makes me miss a certain someone even more.

I know we’ll get back together, eventually of course. But still I miss him. I miss all those little things. Like how he giggles when he’s drunk or how he plays with my hair. The expression he makes when he knows he’s said something that isn’t right and plays into the stereotype of being a ‘dumb blonde’. Or how he’s my human heating blanket for when I get cold, and let’s face it that happens a lot.

All these things make me see how much I miss him, and need him in my life.

Right now he’s off traveling. He went to Norway for the Hollywood Knights charity basketball game. I saw the pictures of it online and he looked happy, playing basketball always makes him that way. It completely relaxes him.

The one thing though I was expecting was that at the after party he was photographed kissing a girl. Some buxom blonde beauty at the bar. And as much as it’s really none of my business anymore it still hurt. I expected it though, he’s single, he has every right to do whatever he wants with other women now.

But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

And then there’s Brandon.

He’s been really great. We’ve been hanging out a lot lately just talking and sharing experiences and things like that. It’s nice, for once, to be able to talk to someone who doesn’t know your entire life story.

I know what you’re thinking, that I should be waiting for Nick to come home and then makeup or whatever. I mean I know I want that, but why can’t I see what else is out there until then? Hell he is. I’m not just talking about the girl in Norway, there are pictures of him with girls all over the net.

Maybe Nick isn’t my one, maybe our breakup is a chance for me to find that person. Hell maybe someone I’ve never met is, you never know right? Or maybe I’m just meant to be alone and the whole idea of soul mates is just something cooked up by the candy, flower and greeting card industries.

Who knows right?

End Narration.

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(**) Life Will Go On ~ By Chris Isaac