Chapter Twenty-Eight: The Ties That Bind…and Gag
“I don’t want to watch it.” Nick said gruffly.
Alyssa gave him a stern look, “You need to! How are you ever going to know how other people perceive you or to see what you’re doing wrong and how to fix it unless you do?” She reasoned.
He shot her a defiant look, “Are you saying I’m doing something wrong?”
Alyssa rolled her eyes and snorted at him, “Nickolas Gene I’m sorry but dear you bottle up your emotions. Second of all have you seen how your sisters act towards each other? Leslie’s the outcast because she doesn’t go along with Angel and Beej, and do not even get me started about Bobbie’s drinking. Or hmm let’s see Aaron doesn’t treat you with respect when he should. Need I go on?”
Nick sighed and gave her a look, “And what do you suppose I do about it?”
“Stop holding your anger back, I know you’re still pissed off at Aaron for the whole Paris thing. And you have every right to be. But you need to see for yourself what your anger and bottled up resentment does to others, to your siblings and namely me.” She watched as his eyes darkened another shade a clear indication that he was pissed off.
“Easier said than done.”
“Excuses! I’m serious Nick. I’m sorry but over the past few months of becoming closer to you and your siblings I’ve seen what your parents did to you guys and it’s despicable. I can’t believe I held them in such high regard for so long.”
He considered her for a moment but said nothing in response.
“Nick I realize they’re still your parents and that deep down you love them. But seeing you get hurt because they act the way they do hurts me. I can see the resentment and pain in your eyes whenever you talk about them.”
He looked away at that moment, “I know I did the show to try and help the siblings heal.”
“And why is that? Because you feel responsible for your parents divorce?”
He looked around the room not answering her, a clear indication that she was right.
Alyssa put her arms around his shoulders and made him look at her, “It is not your fault.”
“Whatever…” He said lowly.
Undeterred she made him look into her eyes, “Nick what happened was NOT your fault. You can’t blame yourself for the problems your parents caused for themselves.”
“If it weren’t for me my parents wouldn’t have gotten married.”
“Fuck them, its their fault not yours. They created their own problems.”
“The fame didn’t help.”
Alyssa scoffed, “So you’re not supposed to enjoy your success based off of YOUR talent because they decided to use you as a meal ticket?”
He sighed, “But the fame drove us apart.”
She sighed, “The fame is what destroyed your family, if anything it kept you together longer because of the money. When you and Aaron started putting your foot down that’s when the in-fighting started.”
“They always fought.”
“Yeah because they didn’t care about each other, they didn’t care about you, Aaron or the girls. Why do you think they had so many kids? Because like many couples they think ‘having kids will keep us together’.”
“True.”
“Yeah and you do not need to have their negativity, and that pain anymore. Look at yourself, you’re 26-years-old, you’ve made music history! You’ve come so far in your life, don’t let them drag you down to their level.”
“I know, it just hurts I want a relationship with them. I want what you have with your parents. Well at least had with Jamie and now have with Mary.”
Alyssa leaned in and brushed her lips to his, “You’re amazing do you realize that. How many guys your age actually would do what you’ve done for me, for your siblings, hell even for your parents? Not a whole lot would do it. You’re so generous with your heart you don’t realize that sometimes certain people aren’t worthy of it.”
A week later…
“You’re not still mad that I left the band are you?” Kevin asked folding his napkin.
Nick chewed on his tongue for a moment as he tried to think of a more diplomatic answer. “I understand why you did it, you want a family and all.”
“But?” Kevin asked knowing that it was coming anyways.
“We need you Kev. You don’t know how many times during recording that we’ll be discussing something and we still wait for you to tell us what to do.”
Kevin’s expression softened and he sighed, “It’s okay to hate me you know. I understand why. You and Alex are the two youngest, you’re my baby brothers and I know that you feel abandoned. You felt that way when Brian got married.”
Nick rolled his eyes and sighed. “No it’s just I don’t know…”
Kevin considered him for a moment then spoke, “Nick I understand, you’re going through a lot with the show and settling down with Ali, it’s a lot to handle. And I’m still here for you, whether you like it or not.”
He sighed again and smiled a little. “Kev, I’m not scared, everything is changing and it’s weird. But I’m not afraid like I thought I would be.”
“Is this about Ali?”
“Yeah.”
He grinned, “You know I love Ali, she’s everything that the four of us hoped you’d find. And the reason why you’re not scared, is because she’s the one. We all see it. You’re happier, calmer, more focused when she’s around. And you’re a hell of a lot less angry.”
“I’m not always angry.” Nick replied getting defensive.
“You may try to hide it but everyone can see that aggression in you that’s dying to come out. You need a positive outlet. Why not play the drums more often?”
He nodded, “Good idea…”
“Anyways back to my favorite Libra, how is she?”
“Good, beautiful as ever. She’s working a lot so she’s usually on campus or holed up in the office at home.”
“And you provide distractions right?”
“Of course, she loves it when I distract her, with a movie, or video game or….”
“You’re 26-years-old you should be able to say you like fucking your girlfriend.”
He chuckled a bit, “Oh yeah we love that.”
Later that afternoon…
Nick walked into the house hearing music come from upstairs. He knew that today was Alyssa’s day off and she’d spent much of it in the office grading term papers and preparing her lectures for the following week as well as formulating the final exam. He rolled his eyes as he heard the sounds of SexyBack coming from their bedroom stereo.
He went up the stairs and into their room stopping in the doorway leaning against the doorjamb as he saw her in a camisole and boy short underwear. She had her back to him and as swiveling her hips to the music. Her hair was wet so it looked like she’d just taken a shower he decided. He stayed still not moving and not making a sound as she moved around the room shaking her hips to the beat of the music.
When the song faded he clapped slowly making Alyssa jump and whirl around. “Jesus, Nick!!!”
He laughed and walked over, “You done bringing sexy back?”
Alyssa’s cheeks flushed crimson and she looked away. “How long were you standing there?”
“Long enough to know my girlfriend is a closet Justin Timberlake fan.”
She snickered a little, “I like his music, that’s about it.”
“Still that was highly entertaining watching you dance around in your underwear to SexyBack.” He remarked sitting down on the bed as he barely contained his laughter.
“Fuck you.” Alyssa said covering her face in embarrassment.
Nick grabbed her wrist as she turned away and pulled her to stand between his legs. “Come on you know I’m kidding right? I don’t give a shit what music you like, I just thought it was funny because you never listen to it around me.”
“Well I figured you wouldn’t want to listen to it considering the media likes to play the whole Backstreet versus N*sync thing.”
“Yeah, yeah I think you’re just harboring a crush on him.”
Alyssa cackled, “You’re kidding right? Please if I wanted to date Britney and Cameron’s sloppy seconds and thirds I would date Jared Leto first.”
Nick laughed, “Jared Leto dated Britney?”
“Well that was the rumor I heard in 2003 after Cam and Justin started going out.”
He laughed even harder at the ridiculousness of their conversation. “This is so retarded we’re talking about celebrity gossip.”
Alyssa laughed with him agreeing with the ludicrousness of their conversation.
A week later…
Nick walked into the kitchen carrying bags upon bags of groceries. He knew that Alyssa wanted to make Thanksgiving dinner but what he didn’t realize is just how much they’d need to buy to serve his siblings, them, her mom, and siblings, along with Lori and Angela, and of course Leslie’s boyfriend Mike. All in all they had to feed 12 people. Alyssa came walking in with the rest of the bags and they unloaded everything into the fridge. Then she took out the frozen pies and tossed them in the oven to bake.
“Why are you cooking now?” He asked a bit bewildered.
“Because tomorrow is Thanksgiving, I’m getting the pies and easy to prepare stuff out of the way tonight so I only have the turkey, yams, and green bean casserole to cook tomorrow and the rest is either on a deli tray or can be reheated in the warm oven tomorrow.” She explained.
“Ah, so it’ll make it easier?”
“Yep tons easier my dad and I used to do this the night before Thanksgiving every year.” She replied getting a slight grin on her face.
He picked up some of the food prepared to help her in any way he could, “Well then let’s keep the tradition going then.” He said with a grin.
*******************************
Nick Narrating:
I think I’ve out done myself. Honestly, we stayed up most of the night cooking and laughing all getting prepared for what’s probably going to end up in a screaming match between my sisters and my brother’s annoying meddling.
Oh yeah I want to kill Aaron, he’s been making the DUMBEST choices lately. First he didn’t tell Kellie how he feels, then he gets engaged?!?
Worst of all he outs me three fucking times on the radio. First with the fact that Paris cheated with Chad Michael Murray, then the whole Ashlee situation, and finally talking about the fight between Brandon and I. Honestly can I strangle him? I feel like I’m in an episode of the Simpson’s and I’m Homer (no jokes please I’m tired and not in the mood) and he’s Bart and all I want to do is say “why you little…” and strangle him like Homer does.
I know sounds comical but it’s true, the kid is pissing me off a lot lately.
Don’t even get me started on the girls.
You’d think that three sisters close in age would be tight right? Yeah that’s what I thought, but nooooo. Leslie’s always sulking about something, Angel and Bobbie are always plotting a prank on her. It’s like um okay and you two wonder why she doesn’t want to be around you?
I already gave Angel this talk and she’s trying to change, Bobbie is a whole other story.
We all confronted her about her drinking. She’s spiraling I know it, I can see it. But she won’t listen to us. Lissa gave me the idea of shipping her off to Kevin or better yet Alex. But knowing her she’d sneak out and go to a bar. It saddens me to see my family like this. They’re all such amazing people and they let the bullshit our parents caused ruined their lives and attitudes.
I know I sound like Ali now as I sit here looking at all of my family. This is my family now. Ali’s and mine combined to create some weird hybrid full of dysfunctional powers. Hmm maybe we’d give the Justice League a run for it’s money? Ah hell friggin’ Aqua Teen Hunger Force would kick our asses in an instant. Anyways I should be getting back to my point. Thankfully Alyssa’s side is balancing out the crazy quotient and keeping everyone relatively calm. It’s nice for once to have a holiday dinner that actually resembles some form of civilization. I thank my girl for that one, she didn’t bring out any alcohol at all opting for soda, juice, and water for everyone. Which of course I can see did not make Bobbie the least bit happy. I’m sure she’s plotting to search for it later. But Alyssa locked it up in our game room bar. She’s always been the smart one that’s for sure. She even went ahead and talked to Leslie about trying to keep the anti-family talk to a minimum.
I love Leslie, honestly I do, but she pisses me off sometimes.
Yes I know I need to work on my anger issues, I realize this especially after Alyssa made me watch the show. I didn’t know people saw me that way. Looking back on it I flew off the handle a lot more than I really needed to.
I think I let my emotions get the best of me. I try to hide it but it eventually just builds up to the point where I lash out over something really stupid. For example the huge fight with Aaron. I let my anger about the whole Paris thing boil inside of me for two freaking years almost and then let it all come out because I was tired and cranky and he was being a little punkass about his music.
Needless to say it’s not one of my prouder moments. But at least it got out there. And yeah maybe I lost some fans by doing the show but I really don’t care. If they’re dumb enough to put me on a pedestal that is so high that they themselves can even achieve then they’re not worth being fans. The real ones are the ones who support me, the boys, my family through thick and thin. That’s why I’m in the business still it’s because I do have a lot of really amazing fans. Some of which are in Alyssa’s class.
It made me laugh when she told me that. But nervous at the same time. What would they say if she didn’t pass them. Truly they only have themselves to blame, but I really do not want a repeat of Mandy all over again. That time in my life sucked, right as we were the most successful, and I was the happiest I’d been in years, it all comes crashing down because some idiot obsessive stalker fans don’t like the fact that I have a girlfriend.
Shit like that always seems to happen to me, which is why a lot of the times when I’m happy I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop because inevitably…
It will.
End Narration.
*********************************
Author's Chapter Notes:
lol no this is not a bondage chapter I promise, it's all about family I believe lol. I'm currently working on chapter 30 right now....soooo hopefully I'll finish that? Yay! Story is almost complete! As always R&R and to my readers who haven't posted a review yet please do so I'd LOVE to hear what ya'll think ok?
*muah* enjoy!
*muah* enjoy!
