Chapter Eight: Man Of Steel

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Nick Narrating:

I’m sitting here in this God damned airport wishing somehow I can undo everything that’s happened in the past twenty-four hours and re-do everything.

I’d start by murdering Rob and I’d get away with it too. Temporary insanity would be my defense.

Actually come to think of it, considering what an awful shit he is the damn Judge and jury would commend me for it and maybe I’d even get a fucking medal.

I’m so fucking pissed at him right now. I should have guessed he’d pull something that fucked up. Telling Alyssa that I left with girls.

Where in the FUCK does he get off telling her that?

No way in hell would that ever be the truth. I mean I’ve cheated in the past but God damn I would never do that to Alyssa. She was there through all the horrible breakups and tabloid scandals. She’s never cared about anything but my sanity through all of that. Cheating in her eyes is completely unforgivable.

But I have a feeling that something happened between her and Brandon.

I've prepared myself for the worst, that she’s leaving me for him. So I’ve already resigned myself to thinking she’s slept with him. Maybe last night was the first time, doesn’t matter. I’ve been expecting it since Clark let it slip that she was hanging out with another guy.

It’s going to hurt to find out if she actually did what I think she did. But I will not let her take the easy way out. She’s going to want me to hate her and break up with her so she can punish herself over and over. I’m not going to let her do that, she’s going to deal with it, we’re going to deal with it. I love her with all my heart and I’m not giving up on her. Alyssa may want me to, however she can’t get what she wants right now.

One thing’s for sure, if I see Brandon near her…someone is going to have to strap me down because I’ll rip him apart.

He fucked MY GIRL!!

No one, least of all some actor is going to get away with that without at least one trip to the hospital.

Look at me I’m talking like I know something happened. In a way I know something had to. Brandon sounded like he’d just woken up. Alyssa always charges her sidekick on her nightstand next to her bed in case someone calls her in the middle of the night. So he was sleeping in her bedroom. It was 5:30 AM and she’s in the shower on a Sunday morning with Brandon asleep in her bed.

She never and I mean NEVER gets up that early on a Sunday unless something is wrong.

Therefore it’s pretty fucking obvious that something happened and she regrets it. At least I hope she regrets it. But knowing her, she probably does. Even if I had cheated on her, she’d still feel guilty like she’s no better than me. But when she finds out that fucking Rob lied to her, it’s going to make her feel a million times worse.

She’s going to feel like she betrayed me.

And yeah she did, but under any other circumstances it would have never happened, I’m sure of it. I just need to talk to her, need to see her. I just need to make her see that no matter what happened that I’m not going anywhere.

End Narration.

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Alyssa came out of the bathroom going straight into her closet closing the door, not even noticing that Brandon had taken the sheets off her bed and taken them down stairs to get washed. He figured she’d want to get rid of any and all ties of what had happened the night before and he was right.

She didn’t want a reminder of how she betrayed Nick. Granted she liked Brandon, but not in the ‘let’s have sex’ way. Brandon felt pretty much the same. Both their hearts and minds belonged to another, and those two people had been betrayed.

No matter what Courtney or Nick may have done to set them off it still didn’t give them any right in either Alyssa’s or Brandon’s mind that last night was anything but solace and comfort. A comfort they shouldn’t have and didn’t really want in each other. True they were attracted to each other, both would have to be frigid bastards not to be, but there was a more friendly affection between them than anything passionate or sexual.

She padded down the stairs seeing Brandon sitting at the dining room table his mind mulling over the events of the night before. Alyssa took a deep breath and sat down across from him. “I think we need to talk.” She stated.

Brandon looked up at her, “I’m so sorry about last night, I should have known better.”

Alyssa held up her hand to stop him, “It takes two. We both should have known better. I feel terrible, especially for Courtney.”

Brandon’s face fell as if his heart was breaking, “I think I need to tell her. I won’t tell her that it was you but that I made a mistake but that I need to be honest with her.”

Alyssa nodded, “Yeah, I feel no better than Nick now. I mean Brandon it was nice, different but neither of us really wanted that to happen.”

“I know. I’m attracted to you of course but I never ever wanted to come between you and Nick. And he called while you were in the shower. I kind of scolded him for cheating on you but he said something about it all being a lie.”

Alyssa’s face grew white, “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know he hung up before I could ask anything else.”

The house phone began to ring. Alyssa made no move to get it. She didn’t want to speak to anyone she knew at the moment. The answering machine picked up after three rings.

“Lissa, it’s Nick if you’re there please pick up. Fucking Rob lied to you. I didn’t leave the club with anyone. I swear to you. I went to Orlando I needed to talk to Howie, call him he’ll vouch for me. I love you so much and I know you are hurt and angry right now thinking that I cheated on you. Please don’t do anything irrational. I’m at the airport. I’m coming back to LA. I love you.”

Alyssa stared at the answering machine mouth agape.

No, no, no!!

He didn’t cheat on her. His stupid friend lied to her. And what did she do? She fucked her friend to get back at him.

Brandon noticed the look on her face, “Oh God.” He stated putting his head in his hands.

Alyssa broke down crying hard. Now not only had she betrayed Nick but the reason why she’d done it was all a lie. Why would his friends do that? Then she stopped, it wasn’t just one of his friends, it was Rob. She hated him, now more than ever. She looked over at Brandon who looked like he had his heart ripped out.

“I’m so sorry Brandon. I’ll understand if you don’t want to be friends anymore.”

Brandon looked at her, “I still want to be friends, that’s where it should have stayed. But I’m going to go, I need to call Courtney.”

Alyssa nodded in agreement as they both got up and she walked him to the door letting him out. She walked back into the living room seeing that Brandon had cleaned up the bottles and trash from the night before. She was thankful he did that getting rid of any reminders of the night before.

How was she going to explain that one to Nick. ‘Oh and when I thought you cheated on me I got drunk and fucked Brandon’ She thought rolling her eyes at herself as she grabbed her purse and walked out not wanting to stay any longer than she had to.

A few hours later…

Nick entered Alyssa’s condo, thankful she’d given him a key. The place was quiet…too quiet. He went upstairs to her bedroom seeing the mattress bare and the pillows on the floor without pillow cases. His chest tightened as he looked around the room obviously something happened the night before. He went down stairs noticing that Alyssa was no where to be found. Nick sighed and trudged back out of the condo and headed to his house.

When he arrived he heard something upstairs. He went up going into his bedroom seeing the picture of him and Alyssa that normally graced his nightstand was gone. He could faintly hear something in the bathroom. Nick walked in seeing Alyssa sitting on the side of the sunken bath tub fully clothed staring at the framed photo crying and rocking back and forth. “Ali…” He spoke softly, afraid he’d break down too.

Alyssa’s head shot up looking at him as her heart broke even more. Nick looked at her, eyes red and puffy, tear stained cheeks and a heartbroken expression on her face. Nick moved to sit next to her putting his arms around her as she cried harder repeating over and over, “I’m sorry….I’m sorry.”

He hugged her tighter and whispered back, “Shhh it’s okay…..it’s okay.”

Alyssa pushed him away and stood laying the picture on the counter. “It’s not okay!” She wailed. “I believed a lie and I did something I never would have under any other circumstances.”

Nick looked at her his heart breaking at her words, “Say it.” He commanded. She gave him a confused look. “I just need to hear you say the words. Please say it…tell me what happened.” He pleaded tears stinging his eyes.

“I called Brandon. I didn’t know who else to call, anyone else wouldn’t have understood. They would just tell me to stop being stupid or whatever. He came over and we drank…a lot.” Alyssa answered sighing. “He was missing Courtney and he listened to me about you. God I don’t even know how much we drank but it was a lot. And I…” Alyssa paused looking at Nick. He braced himself waiting for whatever it was she was going to say. “I slept with him.” She finished lowly.

Nick gripped the porcelain on the tub as he closed his eyes. True he’d been expecting it, but to hear her say it was like a knife ripped right through him. Taking a deep breath he looked up at her tear stained face.

“I forgive you.” He stated looking her straight in the eyes.

Her eyes grew wide at him not understanding why he said what he said. “How can you forgive me?” She asked crumbling to her knees in front of him.

Nick took her face in his hands and kissed her for a moment then stared in her eyes, “Do you regret it?”

“Yes, very much so.”

“Will you ever do it again?” He asked searching her eyes.

Alyssa shook her head no, “Never, it was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. I betrayed the only person I’ve ever really loved.”

“Then I forgive you. I’m not going to hate you, not going to punish you for something you’re already punishing yourself enough for both of us. Alyssa I love you and we’re going to work through this.” Nick replied pulling her to him.

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Alyssa Narrating:

HOW CAN HE FORGIVE ME!?!?!?

I don’t get it, I betrayed him. Fuck I slept with another man and he forgives me like it’s nothing? I feel like such a vile piece of shit right now and he’s understanding and forgiving.

How?

Seriously, how can he be so amazing? How can I have been so completely stupid? I don’t want to go back to my condo, not after last night. Not after I did the most unforgivable thing possible. I realize that I was reacting to what I thought he did to me. But that’s no excuse. I was drunk but I should have known better than to have sex with another man.

I’m fearful to leave Nick’s side.

Almost as if I leave he’ll run off and cheat on me just to get back at me like I had tried to do to him. Everything has just crumbled lately. I don’t even understand why I’m so afraid of Nick, why I’ve been pushing him away. Fortunately Nick is pretty damn stubborn, one of the things I love about him. But hell if it doesn’t get just the least be annoying sometimes.

Maybe I should just stop being stupid as all my friends have said and just let my heart take control. I know I want that…God do I. Just I’m so afraid of how strong my feelings are.

Everyone in the world should know what it feels like to be so in love that nothing else matters. It’s terrifying. It’s wonderful. It’s terrifyingly wonderful. And to have someone love you back just as much is equally insane.

Brandon…

Where do I begin with him? Brandon must feel horrible, I know I do. I mean he’s a great guy, amazingly good looking. However, I feel nothing but friendship for him. And I know he feels nothing but friendship for me.

So exactly how did we end up having sex?

I think it was the alcohol. We drank a bottle and a half of Tequila along with a couple of beers each. We were laughing and talking and then that led to kissing somehow and we ended up naked in my bed.

It’s still all kind of…foggy…like it didn’t happen to me per se that it was someone else’s memory that I have. Who the fuck knows. All I know is that I have to rebuild Nick’s trust. No matter how many times he’ll tell me that he’s forgiven me and that he trusts me, I know deep down that he’s afraid I’ll do it again. He was that way when I tried to kill myself.

And I really can’t say that I blame him.

End Narration.

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