Chapter Three: Open Relationship

**Evan**

Did I ever say how much I HATE record company meetings? Even though this was a teleconference it still sucked ass. The best part though was that we got copies of our album. Our cover kicks ass. It’s all of us, myself and the boys dressed formally. I’m wearing this gothic style sleeveless dress that flowed down the couch I had draped myself over my hair hanging off the side. The boys were positioned where Nate was leaning against a window sill, Connor was standing behind the couch where I was and Drew was sitting on the floor in front of the couch at my feet with one knee bent. All of us giving the camera our best pouty rockstar glances as if to say ‘who the fuck are you?’

Nick’s going to love the cover; he’s never actually seen me in a dress before. I’m a major tomboy but lately I’ve been wearing skirts and dresses. I have no idea why, just felt like feeling like a girl for once in my life. Maybe it’s because I’m finally growing up. I think it’s about damn time I’m going to be 29 in October. Man just saying that I feel old, Nick’s 25 and I’m 3 years older than him.

And speaking of Nick, I really, really miss him. You know the song 40 Boys In 40 Nights by The Donnas? Well that line about there’s no cute boys in Decatur is so fucking true!!!!!! Okay we’re not actually in Decatur we’re in Ohio but still same premise. Tons of farmland, cities scattered here and there.

I called him when we got to Boston. We ended up having ‘the talk’. You know the one. The one where we decide where our relationship or whatever is going. He was a little peeved that I want to take things slow and not start out exclusive like we were.

But think about it…seriously now….

We’re not going to see each other for months at a time and we’re both going to get lonely being apart from each other. So why make promises this early on that we may not be able to keep? We made a deal though anyone we fuck doesn’t get to spend the night. Only we get to spend the night with each other, not our little groupies, once they get us off then it’s sayonara buster! Or in his case, a busty blonde.

I know it sounds cruel, it sounds cold hearted but really it’s just being realistic. Groupies are for one thing, and that’s an orgasm, once you get it then you’re good to go. I bet he has fun kicking them out when they get all hurt and pissy. It’s like okay ladies, you suck him off then you spread your legs for him, let him fuck you and now you’re expecting what…a marriage proposal?

Umm okay, then I have I nice plot of land to sell you in Siberia.

Ha, dream on bitches!

I’m sorry but these types of girls piss me off. It’s like if you want the guy to want you so badly that he can’t live another minute without being inside you then do NOT, and I repeat DO NOT fuck him five minutes after meeting him.

The reason Nick’s still around wanting me all the time isn’t just because I’m good at getting him off or even that we love each other. It’s that I made him wait, made him learn. Made him want me so badly that he told me that he literally saw stars when we finally had sex. And to be perfectly honest so did I. Six months of verbal foreplay is enough to make anyone crazy. And also the fact that our first time with each other was completely spontaneous made it that much more amazing. It was on an off night for the band and he’d been on vacation to visit me and also escape some serious parental drama going on at home. But we went out just walking in the small college town that we were staying in and we come across the indoor competition pool for the college. Now if you’ve seen the movie Slackers you’ll totally understand that about a million light bulbs went off in my head. We snuck into the closed building that was lit only by the pool and faint lights from the locker room.

Now this pool had a deep-end as well so I took him over to that end and told him we’re going for a swim. He had this smirk that was just amazing. So I started to strip down to my underwear as I climbed up to the high platform dive. Luckily I had put on my slightly sexier than everyday underwear and well I think Nick enjoyed the view of my climbing up the ladder to the platform. He followed stripping down to his boxers. We stood at the top of the platform and he freaked out a little at how high we were. So I made him jump in with me to make it a little easier to handle. Basically we swam around splashing and playing and having a major flirting contest. He finally caught me from our little game of water tag and we kissed for the longest time.

We’d never kissed like that especially in a pool in just our underwear. I knew at that moment that I wanted him and that he wanted me. Not just to have sex and get off, but really wanted each other. I pulled away from him and went to get out with him right behind me. Keeping in mind the scene from one of my favorite stoner-type comedies, I had him chase me to where the huge stack of towels were making him trip over them sending them flying everywhere. This of course led to him pulling me on top of him in retaliation for my laughter and progressed to some of the hottest sex either of us had ever had. And he’s the only one who’s ever been able to match that intensity or even top it.

I guess people wonder why I’m so promiscuous. Well let me let you in on a secret that only the band, Jeff, and Nick know.

I was raped.

Yes, raped. I know it’s an extremely touchy subject but I was fourteen years old when it happened.

And the boyfriend I had when I was 18 wasn’t much better; he was all sweet and charming until he wanted to have sex. He manipulated me into having sex with him, convincing me that I was moving on with my life even gave me ultimatums that he’d break up with me if I didn’t sleep with him. So I slept with him, I wasn’t ready but that didn’t seem to faze him or stop him for that matter. He never cared whether or not I came and after a while he became abusive.

Emotionally, verbally and physically abusive.

After I got out of that relationship, mind you it ended up with him ending up in the hospital because Drew finally found out what had been going on, I promised myself that I would never let a guy do that to me again. Drew is my best friend; my other half and I hid that from him for 2 years. He still hasn’t forgiven me for not telling him and I don’t blame him. I was stupid, naïve and afraid.

Sex after that was just a way to get back at men. They became my playthings that I used for my own personal pleasure and threw away. I never played mind games. That was never my thing. I always made it clear that I only wanted to get off and what they did afterwards was their business not mine. Of course I was and still am ALWAYS careful, the pill, condoms, everything.

Connor was the one who got me out of that. He and I were friends and he knew the whole story. One night he told me that he really wanted to be with me to make me feel like I was respected instead of just an object of lust. He made me make a move on him told me that it had to be my decision to sleep with him. And it worked. We had sex and it was good and for once I felt like a human being instead of sex object.

He and I had a good thing going but the novelty wore off. We soon discovered that we only liked each other as friends. Well more like I realized that I only wanted to be friends.

And then Nick came into the picture.

The minute I met him I was completely attracted to him. Wanted him to want me, but Connor had taught me that if I wanted a man to love me that I needed to make him wait, make his desire to possess me become his only awareness.

Connor didn’t like Nick. Mostly because Connor still has feelings for me. He got over it though when he realized how cool Nick is. Nick’s not the typical pop star. Of course he’s a good guy, sweet, romantic when he wants to be, goofy and intelligent (even though he hides it he’s really quite smart). But he’s different than what you’d expect him to be. He’s not a self-centered arrogant narcissist. He may act all confident on stage and to fans and groupies. However he’s got this vulnerability about him that’s so completely sexy. He’s insecure about his looks, his talent and his intelligence. The man is ALWAYS putting himself down.

And he shouldn’t.

I mean yeah he does stupid stuff, but he’s human and like all humans he’s not perfect despite what his fans think.

And Paris exploited his vulnerabilities to manipulate him. I hate the bitch, like seriously hate. I’ve met her and she was a complete flake, idiotic and completely rude. I ran into them at P. Diddy’s white party in the Hampton’s. Nick was pissed off and a tad drunk because she was giving a guy a lap dance right in front of him. I would have hauled off and slapped her silly, but Nick’s not like that he completely abhors violence on women. He seethed, and drank, I spotted him and we talked. She came strutting over and called him Nicky. No one gets to call him that but the guys and his mother. Hell not even his mother is allowed to call him that! I could see him cringe at the name.

I never called him that, mostly because I felt it made him younger than he is.

The name I liked to call him by was Nickolas. He loved it because my voice would get all low and seductive when I’d say it. He always said it made him feel more like an adult as if I were treating him like an equal. I’m guessing he didn’t get that a lot. His band mates all treated him like their baby brother because those four pretty much raised him. They were there for him when his parents couldn’t or wouldn’t be there. Taught him how to talk to girls, coached his voice through puberty when his voice was changing right in the middle of recording their first album. They’re his family, more so than his own except for his siblings of course.

When I met Howie, I realized how much Nick looks up to them. Nick was beaming that Howie had come to see him. He was on his solo tour and I was visiting for two days. You can tell where Nick had been taught how to be romantic. Howie is the epitome of the all around good guy and was completely genuine and nice to me even though Nick and I were just beginning to see each other.

Howie gave me the ‘that’s my brother’ speech and I knew right then how much Nick’s band mates love him. I told Howie that I had no intentions of hurting him. And I never have had the intent of hurting him but shit like that happened. We hurt each other because we were stupid and in love. We said things that we both truly regret.

**Nick**

Regret…

I fucking hate that feeling. But that’s what I feel right now, regret. Mainly because I brought the blonde, who had been pawing at me and whispering that she conveniently forgot to wear panties in my ear, back to the hotel has dropped to her knees in front of me and is unzipping my jeans.

I don’t want her. I want Evan’s mouth not Kristy…Katie…something that starts with a K. I feel the girl’s mouth close around my cock and I can’t help it, I moan and slouch further on the couch of my suite. I just can’t help it; it feels so good. I close my eyes and I see Evan. See her looking at me with that wicked gleam in her eyes as she strips off her clothing exposing all that delicious skin for me to touch and taste. Especially like the first time we had sex. It was completely spontaneous and unexpected. An impromptu swim in a closed college pool that led to mind blowing sex, I’ll never forget that night; the way she looked swimming around in her underwear; the satisfied grin she had afterwards.

Completely lost in my fantasy I don’t even realize that I came growling Evan’s name.

“Who’s Evan?” The girl asked wiping her mouth as she moved to sit next to me.

“The woman I love.”

The girl gave me a look that said ‘are you kidding me?’ “If you’re in love then why are you letting a girl like me suck you off?” She whispered in my ear nipping at my neck.

I gave the girl a pitiful look, “Why the fuck do you care?”

The girl smirked at me and moved to straddle my hips. “Because I’d like to know why you’re thinking of another woman when you’ve got one right here willing to let you do anything.” She purred at me grinding her hips against my exposed lower half.

Fuck…why did girls like this have to be so forward? Why did they have to know just what buttons to push?

“Get naked and turn around.” I commanded and stripped off the rest of my clothing and grabbed a condom from my wallet thanking myself for being prepared. I know; I know I should be pinning away for Evan, probably end up jerking off like a lovesick teenager. But damnit if she’s going to fuck other guys then fine I’ll fuck other girls.

I situated myself tossing the condom wrapper on the floor and grasped, Kathy…Kasey…who-the-fuck-ever’s hip and thrust into her hard making her back arch and her moan loudly. I wanted this over with so I could shower get the cheap perfume smell off of me. I moved against her hard and deep making sure to reach around her to run my hands along the front of her.

My mind immediately began comparing this girl to Evan. Evan has much nicer curves than this girl, rounder hips, definitely a better rack, Evan’s aren’t saline or silicone. And my Evan has much nicer ass than this little groupie. I kept my pace fast and erratic feeling her contract around me as she shouted and shuddered as she came. Thank God, I thrusted a couple more times and came, no screaming, no shuddering…just blessed relief.

Collapsing back onto the couch the girl turned to me giving me a devilish smirk. God I hope she doesn’t think she’ll get another round. “You are such a sex god.” She stated staring me straight in the eye.

Whatever, I hear that all the time, completely meaningless coming from these girls. They’d fuck anyone with fame, money and a pretty face. “Thanks.” I replied flatly getting up discarding the condom in the trash in the bathroom and turned on the water.

Blonde girl followed me into the bathroom, “Oooo sex in the shower, nice.”

I shot her a look, “Actually no, I prefer to shower alone.” I lied. So what? I didn’t want her here longer I needed the shower wash the smell of her off of me. The only woman I want in my shower is a few hundred miles away in some dinky midwestern town while I’m here in New York, getting ready for our promo tour that starts in a week, hoping to God this girl gets the hell out of my hotel room.

She got a disappointed look on her face and trailed her hand down my abdomen. “Let me convince you otherwise…”

I rolled my eyes and pushed her hand away. “No, you had your fun now just go.” I hadn’t meant to be cruel but I couldn’t have her there anymore. I needed Evan, how much longer could we go on like this?

**Evan**

I couldn’t hold on any longer as my body exploded in release collapsing against the tall, dark and handsome guy underneath me. Good Lord I was wrong about the Midwest…shit farm boys are hot! Rolling off of him I looked at the sated satisfied body next to me. What was his name again? Eh, who cares? He was hot though, dark brown hair, brown eyes, tall and lean, definitely a farm boy. I grinned at him noticing the sleepy contented grin on his face, yeah I’m that good. I got up throwing him his clothes and went towards the bathroom.

The farm boy stopped me pulling me against him. I fought the urge to immediately recoil and deck the guy. “Evan tonight was amazing…will I see you again?” He asked his brown eyes pleading with me.

I smiled at him and wriggled from his grasp. “Probably not. Sorry darlin’ but I’m a very busy girl.” I saw his expression fall and I felt a little sorry for him. He was this sweet midwestern farm boy who got it on with a rock star of course he wants to keep me around. But that’s my thing only one guy gets me more than once and that would be the one whose in New York at the moment, probably just got done fucking some chippie bimbo he picked out of the crowd at a club, after he had rehearsals and interviews.

Okay, okay I admit it…

I’m a little jealous, as I’m sure he is as well. I get into the shower as farm boy leaves and wash myself standing under the scalding spray. I get out and dry off pulling on a silky nightshirt that buttoned down to my mid thigh. I walked over to the bed thanking myself for fucking on the floor instead of the bed. Sighing I laid myself down on the bed grabbing my cell phone dialing his number. I needed to talk to him.

I heard him pick up the phone with a hurried, “’Lo?”

**Nick**

I heard her sigh and speak softly, “Why is it that I can’t stop thinking about you?”

Sighing, I laid back on the bed of the suite running my hand through my damp hair. I could tell by the sound of her voice she’d gotten laid that twinge of sadness was more evident than ever. “I thought there were no cute boys in Decatur?” I asked using the line from that song her and Caitie always play at the beginning of every tour.

She chuckled softly at me, “I think I found the only one, and we’re in Ohio by the way. But anyways I felt bad though innocent little farm boy got laid by a rock star and then gets told to leave.”

“My, my Evie are you growing a conscience?” I replied sarcastically. She was really calloused about the whole groupie thing, about as much as I was.

“Everytime I closed my eyes I’d see you. I can’t even enjoy sex without having to fantasize about you.” She admitted and my breath caught. Shit she’s having the same problem I am.

“Me too, I said your name when I came. God baby it’s just…I miss you.” Shit I did not want to get emotional about this! Evan and I do not do emotional well. Sexual, yes very well, but anything resembling emotion…totally not us. I mean we both show emotion, we say ‘I love you’ but we did not do overwrought and sadness at all. Both Evan and I liked to bottle up any sadness or pain we certainly did not like sharing it.

I heard her sniffle a little, damnit no she can’t cry. Please don’t cry. If she starts then I will and we’ll be a blubbery overwrought mess.

“I miss you too Nickolas.”

Fuck…me… Did she have to call me that? I love, love, LOVED it when she said my name like that. It made me feel more like an adult, like I’m her equal. She made me want her so much just with that one name.

I decided to be equally teasing to her, “Kitten…” I heard the soft gasp in her throat. She fucking loved it when I called her that. I’d said it once as a joke because she always stretches out like a cat when she’s sleepy. The second I’d said it the look she got on her face just screamed LUST. Hence ever since then she’s been kitten…my kitten. “I heard that…that little gasp when I called you kitten.”

She sighed and gave a little breathy whimper…I recognized that whimper…is she…? Oh God…

“Do you realize how much that name affects me? Like I’m a sex kitten or something.”

I noticed her breathing had changed into short breathy gasps…son of a bitch she gets laid and then calls me for what phone sex? Hmm I better make this good then…

**Evan**

“Kitten where are your hands?” He asked his voice dropping a couple of octaves. Jesus, does he have to call me kitten? Good God that name, the sound of his voice I could feel myself getting wet again.

My hands were at my neck kneading some of the tension from them but one trailed down to my collarbone. “On my neck…” I answered him.

“Where are you?” He breathed I could hear him shift a little hearing the springs in his hotel bed squeak just a little.

“Lying on my hotel bed…do you want to know what I’m wearing?”

I smiled to myself when I heard him gasp a little; yes I loved knowing I affected him. “…Yeah…”

“That green silk pajama shirt I bought for you then swiped from your closet.”

“Anything else?” He asked damn his voice was all low and raspy. Okay one good thing that came out of his smoking habit was that his voice got a little raspy and it was just sexy as all hell. At least though he quit smoking, along with myself. It was ruining my voice and I knew it’d do the same to him if he kept at it. So it was really good that we both quit at the same time.

“Underneath the silk? Nope, just me all fresh from the shower. How about you?”

I heard him sigh when I revealed that information and then I heard him reply, “Just a towel.”

Holy…mother…of…

**Nick**

I heard her breathing stop at my admission to wearing only a towel. It was true I’d just stepped out of the shower when my sidekick starting ringing. “Ev, honey, breathe.” I stated unsuccessfully holding back a snicker.

I heard her take in a deep breath and let it out before she spoke. “Christ Nick are you trying to kill me here?”

I had to laugh at her comment it was just hilarious to me. “And this coming from the woman who happens to be wearing green silk nightshirt and nothing else.” I retorted making her giggle a little.

“What green silk nightshirt?” She countered. Damn she’s naked and she didn’t even tell me!

“Now who’s not playing fair?” I shot back.

She giggled again. Did I ever say how much I love that giggle? “So when are we seeing each other again?” She asked changing the subject.

Damnit I didn’t want to look at my schedule I wanted to have phone sex with my sort of girlfriend. Reluctantly I got up grabbing her tour itinerary and mine. I looked between the two of them seeing the portions I’d highlighted where we’d be in the same town at the same time. We’d be seeing each other in…

Wait a second, we have our club tour starting next week here in New York on the same day her album drops, she’s going to be at TRL that day, then to VH-1 and to Virgin for a record signing/meet and greet. Meaning…hell yeah she’s going to be in the city.

**Evan**

“How’s next week sound?” I heard him ask hearing papers rustling.

Next week?

Next week we have TRL, the Today Show, VH-1, Virgin Mega-store and then three interviews with radio stations. The only time off we’d have is that night until the morning when we’d have to fly back to Chicago for a show that night.

“That soon?” We’d only been separated for five days and now we’re seeing each other in less than a week? Shit that never happened the first time around. It was more like weeks, sometimes months at a time. I know; I know why are we jumping into bed with other people when we’ve only been apart a few days. Well… let’s just say he and I are very contact oriented people. We both crave physical contact whether it’s leaning on our band mates in a photo shoot or just someone to have for a moment then toss away. It’s a little soon I know, but we thought we weren’t going to see each other for at least a couple of weeks, maybe even a month or two. Last time all we did was mope when we weren’t together, but this way it can make the separation easier.

Okay, yeah even I’m not buying my own line of bull.

I heard him chuckle at my question, “Well I’ll understand if you’d rather not see me. I’m sure there are plenty of hot guys here in New York.”

What a gobshite!!! Of course I’ll want to see him.

“Nick, please tell me you’re joking.”

He laughed, he fucking laughed! “Trust me just knowing that you’ll be in the city as me not more than just a few blocks away; everyone is going to have to chain me to a wall to keep me from ripping your clothes off.”

My entire body shuddered, as in full on shuddered, goosebumps and all! Nick…chained to a wall…oh the possibilities.

“Chains…th-that…could be hot.” I stammered…I never stammer.

“Damn woman are you always into kinky things like that?”

I had to giggle at him, it’s not like he hadn’t come up with a lot of ideas himself. “And you’re all saintly.” I retorted sarcastically.

**Nick**

Saintly? Yeah right…

I’ve never been saintly! Even when I was a kid I was never well behaved. Ask my mom…well okay don’t ask her. But I can tell you that I gave her quite a few gray hairs. Some may call it childhood mischief.

Mischief…ha down right diabolical is more like it. And don’t even get me started on the shit I’d pull on my sisters. Hearing them shriek in surprise or horror was a major source of amusement for me. Sometimes it still is, however they learned that I don’t like revenge. So I try not to pull stuff on them anymore…especially Aaron and Angel…they’ve seen my tricks over the years and learned from my ‘example’ and damn they’re good.

But back to my point…me saintly? I’m glad Evan was being sarcastic, after all the things we’ve done together she better not think I’m the least bit saintly. But damn what was her fascination with being tied up? Or more specifically having me restrained. Damn control freak.

“So should I locate the nearest hardware store and get some for next week?” I shot back completely avoiding her earlier remark. I heard her gasp and moan softly obviously thinking of my proposition.

Ah this is going to be fun.