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Hey all,
Hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Years.
This chapter has some strong language - just letting y'all know :)


Cassie was scared. Flat on her back, she stared up at the ceiling of her hospital room and tried to breathe evenly. The deep ache in her hip was a constant reminder of the bone marrow biopsy she had endured two hours earlier and the pain stopped her from rolling over. Her stomach turned when her mind wandered back to the doctor and his needle. She had wanted to throw up at the sight of it and swallowed hard against the urge to retch as she turned slightly and her hip throbbed. Her eyes closed tight against the nausea, hot tears trickled down her cheeks.
"Cassie?"
Clutching a bunch of flowers, Nick was unsure where to look. Cassie wiped her eyes and smoothed the crisply starched sheet with her hands. She couldn't look at him, standing in the doorway.
"I came as soon as I heard," Nick continued, taking a hesitant step into the room. "I... got you some flowers. Do you have a vase?"
Cassie was silent and Nick looked down at his bunch of daisies, suddenly so trivial. Laying them on the nightstand, he sat down on the edge of the bed, his hands in his lap.
"How are you feeling?"
Cassie turned her head on the pillow, fixing her eyes on him.
"I have cancer and my marriage is over," she replied. "How do you think I'm feeling? And as for coming as soon as you heard - don't play noble, Nick. It doesn't suit you. I know Brian and Howie had to drag you home. Why can't you be honest for once in your life?"
Nick swallowed and looked at the floor. Cassie stared out the window, their silence thick and heavy on her chest.
"She's here, isn't she?" she asked bitterly.
Nick's heart pounded, pushing blood past his temples in a throbbing torrent.
"You brought her with you, didn't you? Her and Jack," Cassie persisted. "Are they in our house?" "Cass..."
"Are they in our house?"
Nick shook his head and went back to staring at the floor.
"We stayed last night with Alex," he said quietly. "We're staying there while we..."
He trailed off, unsure how to finish the sentence, and Cassie turned her head on the pillow.
"While you what? Find somewhere more permanent?" she asked, her cold eyes staring at him. "Why don't you just move them into our house? Move her into our bed. You've probably fucked her there already."
Startled, Nick stared back at her.
"What are you talking about? Hannah's never even been to California before."
Cassie looked out the window.
"You're a lying asshole," she said evenly.
"No, I'm not, Cassie," Nick replied. "Not about this. Hannah has never been out here, I swear. She didn't even know about you until after... Until after you found out about her. If she'd known I was married, she would've run a mile. She had no idea who I was."
Cassie fixed him in her gaze again.
"That makes two of us."
Not knowing what else to do, Nick sighed. As soon as the air left his body, he knew it had been the wrong move.
"Well, I'm sorry my company is so draining," Cassie spat. "Why don't you just leave? I'm sure you've got plenty of other things to do."
Nick was silent. He did have plenty of other things to do. He needed to find somewhere to live, for one. He'd hated leaving Hannah and Jack at the house with Alex - Jack had been grizzly and Hannah was far from comfortable being alone with Alex. Nick could hardly blame her for that. Her opinions of his friends were based on internet coverage of his career and Alex had hardly received a glowing report from the press. The really scary part of it was that most of it had been true. Funny how the press lost interest once a man cleaned himself up and got his life back in track, though. Hannah had no way of knowing how different the real Alex was from the "AJ" she thought she knew. Just like Cassie had no way of knowing how different the real Hannah was to the home-wrecker she must've conjured up.
"Are you leaving or what?"
Cassie's voice, dripping with contempt, sliced into his thoughts and Nick looked at her.
"We need to talk."
"I've got nothing to say to you," she retaliated. "We needed to talk months ago and you were off starting a fucking family."
"That's what we need to talk about," Nick pressed. "You and Hannah... I think you'd like her, Cass."
Cassie stared at him.
"You're out of your mind. You think I give a shit about the woman you're shagging?"
"She's a good person. You've got every right to be mad as hell at me but Hannah didn't do anything wrong."
"I don't give a shit, Nick. I don't even want to know."
The small room was silent apart from the hum of the air-conditioning. Nick looked down at his hands and wondered why the hell he'd even bothered visiting.
Because you married her, dumbass. You loved her. There was a time before all of this when you loved her. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with her, remember? You wanted to be the father of her children, not someone else's. You had feelings, real feelings, for her. You can't just switch that shit off and you know it.
Chewing on his bottom lip, Nick realised his hands were sweating and wiped them on his trousers. The voice in his head was getting louder and he wished he could switch that shit off.
Look at her, you fucking coward. Look at the woman you married. She's lying there - she might be dying - and you want to talk about the girl you left her for? You want to do that because it's easier than talking about what you see right in front of you - your wife, lying there? She's right, you know. You're an asshole.
Nick frowned, shaking his head as he stood up.
Yeah, go on... Leave. That's your answer to everything, isn't it? Just leave - out of sight, out of mind. You know that's not really how it works. You know she's going to be on your mind all night. Why don't you tell her the truth? That you can't make up your pathetic fucking mind? That you want to climb onto the bed and lie beside her? That you're terrified of her being gone? You can't even admit it to yourself, can you?
Nick cleared his throat and wiped his hands on his trousers again. Cassie was staring out the window again and he wondered if she was getting sick of the view. She'd obviously rather look at the building next door than at his face. She'd hardly looked at him since he arrived.
"I have to go. I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I'll try and come back tomorrow."
"Whatever," Cassie replied, not looking at him. "I won't hold my breath."
Nick hesitated only slightly before he turned and left the room.
You're an asshole.