The feeling of total humiliation washed over me while I was being processed in the county jail. Although I was pretty sure this had been done only a little over 24 hours ago, I was fingerprinted, a mug shot was taken not to mention strip searched before I was handed a florescent orange scrub shirt, pants and a pair of white flip flop sandals. The only things that I had on me that were mine was a pair of boxers and socks.

A uniformed male clerk shoved a form at me. “Sign at the X.”

My hand shook as I took the pen and scrawled my name where I was directed. I wasn’t cold, only nervous wondering what they had planned for me next.

The officers that arrested me never spoke to me although I had asked what had happened that I was arrested again. I thought I had a right to know but they just treated me like I was invisible. I hadn’t uttered another word as I was being processed. I knew that no one would answer my questions.

It wasn’t until I was led to an 8 x 10 foot cell that I finally spoke again. “When can I call my attorney?”

“When we can fit it into our schedule,” the guard muttered with a smirk as he slammed the door shut.

“But I thought I had rights,” I argued. “When the hell is that going to happen?” My words apparently fell on deaf ears since the guard had already left the area, the slamming of the outside door indicated that he didn’t hear or probably didn’t care.

Turning around, I looked at the cramped room that I had been placed in. A steel bed with a thin mattress jutted out from the wall. There was a stainless steel toilet and sink as well. Absolutely no privacy I noted as I stared at the toilet. There wasn’t even a seat! I would be sitting my ass on cold, hard metal if and when I had to tend to ‘business.’

Laying down on the inch thick mattress, I stared at the water stained ceiling and let my thoughts take over, waiting for the guard to return to let me know I could go and make my phone call.

********

“Hey Carter, get up!”

The booming voice shook me back into reality. I was surprised when I realized that I had fallen asleep, but then again, what else was left for a person to do in an 8 x 10 foot cell?

This time I wasn’t placed in handcuffs to go down to use the phone like I had been the first time, but then again at that time I was still wearing jeans and sneakers.

“You have three minutes,” the guard said as he led me into the small room that reeked of stale cigarette smoke.

With the guard standing in the corner watching me, I stared at the phone for a moment before I once again realized that I did not know my attorney’s phone number just like the last time I had one phone call.

“Can I call information before I make my actual phone call?”

”One call is all you can make today. If you want to call information to get a number to call tomorrow, go ahead, it’s your decision,” the guard replied flatly.

Once again I dialed the number to Aaron’s cell going through the channels of placing the collect call, hoping he was still at my house. He answered by the second ring.

“Collect call from Nick, will you accept the charges?”

“Yeah…..God Nick, how are you? I’m worried.”

“Where are you?” I asked quickly.

“In the car driving to the studio.”

’Shit,’ I mentally cursed. ’Why the hell wasn’t he home waiting for me to call?’

“I thought you’d at least wait at home for me to call,” I finally sputtered.

“Nick I have stuff I have to do besides sitting around your house waiting for you to call me.”

He did have me there. Life goes on outside of this place. “I need you to get a hold of my attorney and let him know that I am back in the county jail.”

“What was his name again?”

Hearing Aaron ask that question, I felt my heart skip a beat. I needed someone to call my attorney and maybe be able to handle the situation I found myself in a better manner. “Skip it Aaron, I need you to call someone else instead.”

I heard my brother sigh into the phone.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” I quickly apologized. “It’s just that what is happening to me is more serious.”

“Why did they arrest you again?”

“I don’t know, no one has told me yet,” I answered as I shook the hospital-type arm band on my free wrist.

”What do you mean no one has told you yet?!”

I pulled the receiver away from my ear when Aaron yelled. “Air, calm down,” I quietly admonished. The receiver grew eerily quiet. I suddenly wondered if my call got dropped by his cell phone carrier.

“Aaron? Are you still there? Aaron?”

Dead silence!

“Hey can I call my brother back? His cell phone dropped the call,” I begged.

The guard stared at me for a moment and then smirked. “I guess I’m feeling generous today. Go ahead but you only have one minute this time.”

I could just call the person who I had thought of having Aaron call, but quickly dismissed the idea knowing that the county jail name would appear on his caller ID. Dialing my brother’s cell number again I waited for only one ring.

“I have a collect call from---“

“Yeah I’ll take it,” Aaron blurted into the phone. “Goddamn Nextel—“

“Aaron I only have one minute to talk,” I interrupted. “I need you to explain that I am in the county jail and he needs to get a hold of my attorney, he knows who I’m talking about.”

“I could do the same thing too you know,” Aaron argued.

“I don’t have time to explain, I just need you to do this for me, okay?”

As Aaron sighed loudly into the phone, I realized I had hurt his feelings.

“I’m sorry, but please I need you to do this for me.”

“Who do I have to call Nick? Dad?”

DAD?? God! I wish our father was better equipped to handle a crisis situation. There were only two people in my life that I could totally rely on for help when I needed it: Kevin Richardson or Brian Littrell. I took the latter because he would be closer to Florida and I knew he was home, plus I knew Aaron had his cell number.

“Please call Brian for me, okay?”