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Leaving the village Momma died in was not only because of my looks and unchanging nature but I needed to protect Miriam, and we had to leave in order to do that. She collected wild flowers every day and dressed our house with them; she felt it made our two room shanty more bearable. One day the flowers stopped coming and Miriam barely left my side when we were in town, but at home she avoided me like I had the plague.

One day, as I fixed a draught for a woman about to give birth, I ran out of rose petals. I begged Miriam to go collect a few since I knew a few grew wild where she’d been collecting before. Reluctantly she obliged. She’d only been gone a couple of minutes when I glanced up and saw two strange men turn down the path Miriam herself turned down only a few minutes before. Curious and slightly worried I set out and followed them.

Soon I heard voices, Miriam’s begging them to leave her be, and that it was not her fault the devil woman helped raise her, she was young what choice did she have?

“You are not so young.” One of the men laughed and noticed him groping her newly developing breasts. “Looks to me you’d make a fine wife.”

The other man cackled. “Though who would have you with a devil for a sister?”

“Not only that, but you’re not virtuous anymore.” The men laughed and started to hold her to the ground. Enraged I flew at them from my hiding spot easily tossing the men aside as if they weighed no more then my dish towel. I reached my hand out to Miriam but was knocked away by the larger of the two.

“Wait your turn devil.” He seemed not the least bit fazed that I, only seconds before, had tossed him aside easily. I got back up and grabbed him by the neck, holding him tightly. The other man must have recovered during this time because I heard Miriam scream. I could not clearly remember all that happened next but when I came around, Miriam sat weeping against a tree; the men’s dead bodies lay out in front of me. My mouth felt hot and a sweet taste lingered. My lips felt moist so I wiped it with my hand, aghast when blood covered the back of my hand. I looked back at the men; two puncture wounds were on each neck, just like the rabbit.

“It’s time to move,” I told Miriam but she did not look at me. I didn’t blame her, I left hoping she would follow, she returned before sundown and packed her belongings quietly. We left the village that night under the cover of darkness. When we reached the North a kind old lady let us live in her house, she said she was moving in with her daughter for her last days.

A couple months passed and I started to notice small changes in Miriam. When she could not stand the smell of certain foods I knew, she was expecting a child. I sat her down one night and talked to her, demanding more then the one word responses I had been getting.

“What good is there to tell?” She wanted to know. “It’s your fault I’m this way. Those men told me you called to them and told them to do those things to me.”

“You believe them?” I asked unable to believe what I just heard. “Why would I do that to you, and then do what I did to them?”

“Because you are sick and have a twisted mind. Momma knew that about you. She warned me about it before she died.”

“How dare you!” I shouted at her slapping her across her cheek. I thought about bringing up the note that came attached to her. How would she feel if she knew she was meant to be food but, until that point, I had never laid an angry hand on her.

She merely sat smirking at me, refusing to speak anymore that night. A couple months passed before we would speak again.

“Nene,” When she started with her nickname for me, I knew she wanted to let her words be forgiving. “I’m scared.”

“I’ve seen many women give birth and end up perfectly alright in the end.” I wanted to hold her in comfort but did not know if she’d let me touch her.

She shook her head. “I’m not afraid of the birthing, I’m afraid of how the child will be.” She kept her eyes from mine, but I knew what she meant.

“Your child will not be like me. Though momma raised you as if you were hers, you were a foundling that we cared for as an infant.” A look of relief crossed her face. “Besides those men were evil, but would I e able to kill the devil? Especially if he was my father like so many claim he is.” Miriam relaxed and smiled brightly, it was a smile I missed seeing for so many months.

Things seemed to get better between us and for her. She even began to venture into the town nearby on her own. She told curious eyes that her husband died. She began to insist doing the shopping alone, she even went so far as to try to keep me from setting up a market stall. I knew she may have let the past drop but she would never let it repeat.

Soon her belly became full and plenty round. Her dark hair and walnut eyes shone brightly everywhere she went, being with child agreed with her, I did not know of the secret she carried with her at the time, her secret that would cause my world to crash for a time.

When the birthing time came, Miriam was calm and took my draught and let me deliver the baby on my own. Bringing that baby girl into the world was one of the only true, pure pleasures I’d ever known. She had hair soft as down sparsely covering her head and when she opened her eyes, the bright blue was almost startling. I cleaned the blood off of her and wrapped her tight. I made sure I had two helpings of my stew the night before so that the smell of the blood would not cause the urge to rise within me.

I set about cleaning Miriam and making sure her health held out.

“Thank you,” she murmured.

“Of course, you are my sister, I will always look out for you and yours, I promise you that.”

“I am glad to hear you say that.” She smiled then fell asleep. I should have known something was going on, she did not ask to see the baby as most new mothers did.

I woke early in the morning to the cries of the infant. I held the girl close and fixed a fire before taking her to her mother whom I gave the room with the door for many months now.

Her bed was empty, not even the blankets remained. Worried at first I ran outside scouring the land. Was she feverish, did she run away? I had not answers and a screaming hungry child at my breast. How was I going to feed this child. I needed to think, I made a makeshift bottle and poured the remainder of the milk into it hoping the girl would take it in her mouth. It was luck that day I got her to eat, but would I always be that lucky? Babies needed mother’s milk to grow strong. I waited all day for Miriam to return and when she did not I made my way into town willing to pay a woman to feed the baby girl.

It was beginning to get dark and the tiny girl was crying for food. I knocked on several doors but many hissed at me and slammed their doors. I did not understand, I barely came to town, whey did these people call me devil to my face?

I knocked on the last door and begged the woman to help the child, I don’t know why, but a change came over her initial harsh face.

“I believe in the next town over a woman lost her baby, but is still producing milk.” She smiled and held her hand for me to wait a moment. She came back with more milk. I thanked her sincerely, feeding the girl quickly.

I left for the other town the next morning, moving faster then I ever knew I could. It was almost like I was floating. I made excellent time and arrived to see many people in the streets. I began to let my eyes wander over the women present searching for this woman.

I found her easily, and stepped over to her.

“Hello,” I started keeping my lips down so not to show my teeth and frighten the woman. “I am in need of a wet nurse for the child, her mother died during the birth.” The woman agreed and said she would live with me until the baby was weaned. I traveled with her as she packed a bag and said good-bye to her family. As we headed out of town a strange sensation passed over me causing me to turn my head and look behind me.

Standing next to a strange man was Miriam smiling broadly hanging on the man’s arm. She saw me out of the corner of her eye and turned away embarrassed, her cheeks were bright pink. I did nothing but turn and leave, the strange feeling did not go away until early the next morning.

The nursemaid was a great help, but also kept me up on local gossip as she would go home once a week to be with her family. Through her I found that Miriam had been seeing this young man in town and he proposed. Nobody in his town knew she was with child and when she arrived without the child, he did not question her. The nursemaid did not tell me that, I found it out on my own later.

I only ran into Miriam one more time in my life. I was walking with her grand-daughter on a breezy night.

“Nene?” I instantly knew the old woman standing in front of me was Miriam, her saying my nickname only made her more real. She was hunched over, a cataract in one eye giving it a cloudy appearance. “Forgive me for running from you.” She then looked at the little girl next to me with questioning eyes. I smiled at her answering her unasked question.

“Where’s your momma child?” Miriam looked around, I knew, hoping to get a glimpse of the daughter she abandoned.

“She’s in the clouds.” She whispered pointing to the sky.

Miriam’s eyes filled with tears, she tried to conceal them but could not.

“Mother?” a male voice called out and then showed up next to Miriam. “Mother, don’t run off like that.” The man noticed me and the girl. “I’m sorry to be so rude, my name is Stewart.” He took my gloved hand in his and kissed the back of it. “Pleased to make your acquaintance.” He paused, waiting for me to say my name.

“Antigone.” I volunteered.

“Antigone?” he rolled the name on his tongue as if he was pondering something. “Mother didn’t’ you have a sister by the name Antigone?” he asked Miriam.

“Yes,” she answered.

“A strange coincidence would you say? How do you know this woman?” He asked full of curiosity now.

I could see Miriam struggle for an answer so I chimed in. “My daughter ran off, your kindly mother kept her company until I could find her again. Come along Dierdra, we’ve wasted enough of this woman’s time.” I smiled warmly at her and began to walk away but still I overheard.

“Did you see her teeth mother?” I am scared for that so-called daughter of hers.”

“Son, hold your tongue, the woman cannot help how God made her.”

I let all old quarrels between us drift from my mind at that moment. I forgave her completely for her leaving and anything else she might have done to cause me pain in my past. That was the last time I heard or saw her. I learned later that she died not long after that encounter. It saddened me, but tears would not fall, another one of my many changes, I could feel sadness but there were never any tears, not even for the woman who was my sister. Later I would show my sadness in a different manner, wishing I could cry those tears long dried.