Chapter 36 - Family Matters

            "Look at you!" Patricia Martinelli squealed as soon as she caught sight of her daughter's pregnant figure waiting at the other end of the security checkpoint of LAX. "You're already so big! Are you sure there isn't more than one in there?"

            Alyssa's cheeks reddened at the scene her mother was making. "I'm pretty sure it's only one," she replied.

            "But you're not even at six months, right?" her mother continued to question.

            "I'm getting pretty close to the six month mark. Next week."

            Sensing her younger sister's embarrassment, Meg who was right behind her jumped in to save her. "Alyssa has always been pretty tiny though. I'm not too surprised that she's all baby. You look great by the way!" She leaned over to kiss her sister the best she could while cradling the infant that was in her arms.

            "Thanks. So do you," Alyssa answered honestly before she focused in on the baby that Meg was carrying. "Is this my little niece over here?"

            Meg nodded as she held out the baby for Alyssa to hold. "Yep... This is Kristina. This is your Aunt Alyssa," she explained to her daughter as she handed her over. "She must like you. Usually she screams the first time we hand her over to someone new."

            Alyssa smiled down at her niece. Meg had been right. She was beautiful. Even though she looked nothing like either Meg or Scott it was still amazing to think that she was theirs, especially after everything they'd gone through. "She's beautiful Meg."

            "I know... Here let me take her back for now because the rest of the crew is waiting to say hello." Alyssa carefully handed Kristina back to Meg's arms and then looked up to see the rest of her family standing in front of her. She quickly greeted both her father and her brother- in law with a few hugs and kisses. Standing off to the side looking very uncomfortable was Stephanie. She did look much more mature and grown up since the last time Alyssa had seen her at her and Sean's wedding. Her hairstyle which was constantly changing was now cut into a choppy chin length bob and was dyed a deep, dark, ruby red color. She looked as if she'd lost some weight and was dressed a little more conservatively than she remembered, but still managed to look edgy and fashionable. Alyssa wasn't sure how to greet her, so she just flashed her a small weak smile.

            "So, I guess we should try to find all of your luggage," Alyssa suggested, breaking the tense moment.

            Everyone seemed to be in agreement as they headed towards the baggage carousel to retrieve their suitcases. As Alyssa looked back and saw Stephanie hanging back behind the rest of them she instantly felt bad. Maybe Nick had been right. Maybe she did owe it to her younger sister to give her a second chance. She had forgiven Nick after all...  She'd have to give the idea a little more thought.

**********

            The ride back to Alyssa's house turned out to be very cramped. She'd borrowed Sean's truck which she absolutely hated driving to pick up her family, but it was still a tight squeeze. Alyssa began to regret not asking Izzy to come with her in her car and at least drive Meg, Scott, and Kristina back to her house. She was very relieved when they finally pulled into her driveway.

            The first thing she did was show her family around her and Sean's home, since they hadn't been out to see it yet, even though she'd been living there for over a year already. Just as she'd told Nick, she put her parents up in her and Sean's bedroom, but when she tried to put Meg, Scott, and Kristina in the guest room they'd refused.

            "Where are you going to sleep?" Meg asked her, sounding concerned.

            Alyssa shrugged. "One of the couches turns into a pull out and then there's a futon in the basement. I can sleep on either one."

            Meg just shook her head. "There's no way that you're sleeping on a pull out bed or a futon. You'll kill your back. You're pregnant. So you take the guest room. You need to be comfortable. Scott and I can manage on the pull out for the weekend."

            "But what about Kristina? I thought that it would be better to give you the guest room in case she wakes up in the middle of the night or something," Alyssa tried to argue.

            "She's actually a pretty good sleeper by now. We'll just set her crib up in the living room or something. Steph can take the futon downstairs, and everyone else will be upstairs so if she cries she won't wake anyone up except us."

            So in the end Meg had won out and Alyssa wound up in the guest room after all. Once everyone was settled, Meg, Alyssa, and Patricia surveyed everything that Alyssa had already bought for Thanksgiving dinner the following day and made a list of any last minute things they still needed. They then headed for the supermarket to purchase everything they had been missing. When they returned home, Alyssa and the rest of her family went out to dinner, so that nobody had to cook that night. They would all be doing plenty of that the next morning. The rest of their evening was spent sitting around and talking, trying to catch up on each other's lives. They all decided to go to bed relatively early since the next day was going to be a big one for them.

*********

            "Do you remember when we were younger and Mom used to sit us down and make us all watch the parade?" Meg mused to Alyssa the next morning. Alyssa, Meg, and Patricia were all lounged across Alyssa's living room watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, a long running Thanksgiving morning tradition in the Martinelli family.

            "How could I forget?" Alyssa responded with a laugh. "Thanksgiving morning was all about eating pancakes, watching the parade to see Santa Claus, and afterwards licking the left over batter from Mom's crème puffs off of the egg beaters."

            Patricia grinned at the memory of her two daughters when they were younger. "You two were always very big traditionalists. Now Stephanie on the other hand, I could never get her to sit still long enough to watch the parade. Even as a baby she was never interested in it. She'd rather sleep late, like today for instance." Her eyes glanced down towards the basement door, where Stephanie was still sleeping. "But even when the two of you were infants, I'd put you in your little baby seats and you'd watch the parade with me, just like Kristina is doing now."

            "Aww... Are you going to make a big deal about Santa Claus to her like Mom used to do with us?" Alyssa teased her older sister.

            "Of course," Meg laughed. "You will too next year when your little one is the one sitting here watching the parade for the first time. It's like in our genes."

            Alyssa looked longingly down at her stomach. It was hard to believe that next Thanksgiving she really would have her own daughter to sit and watch the parade with just as her own mother had done with her. Sensing Alyssa's disbelief, Patricia interrupted her thoughts almost reading her mind.

            "Would you believe that we're now sitting here with three generations of us girls watching the parade? I wasn't sure when I'd ever see this day. A few months ago I wasn't sure if I'd ever get to me a Grandma and now I have one beautiful granddaughter and another on the way. It's so exciting for me. I just wished the two of you lived a little closer."

            "Well, New Jersey isn't that far away," Meg pointed out. "Yea, it's a two hour ride, but it's still close enough that we can visit a lot."

            "Yea, it's better than California," Alyssa agreed. "Thankfully so many of my friends wound up out here, but I'm pretty isolated from any family."

            "You're right... Maybe you should think about coming back with us to New York at least until the baby is born or until Sean comes home," her mother gently suggested. "It would help to have us around to help you out and everything in the beginning."

            Alyssa's stomach turned with just the thought of being dragged to New York to stay with her parents. Not only would that ensure her no privacy whatsoever, but it would mean her not being able to see Nick at all. There was no way that she could let that happen. "I appreciate the offer Mom, but I'm pretty settled out here. I really like my doctor and feel comfortable with her, so I wouldn't want anyone else taking over my case, especially at this point in the game. Plus, weren't you the one who didn't want me to travel all the way to New York? I have lots of people out here helping me out. Izzy's been great and she's been through all this before, so she's been really helpful and Nick's been helping me a lot around the house and stuff." As soon as the words left her mouth, she froze when she realized just how much she had just revealed.

            Her Mother's face wrinkled up. "Nick? As in your ex boyfriend Nick? I didn't think that you two still talked."

            Alyssa bit her lip, trying to think fast. "Yea, we keep in touch still. He lives maybe half an hour away. He's been kind of helping me out a bit by doing all the manly stuff around here that Sean used to do." She inwardly winced afterwards when she heard how bad that had just sounded. Keep digging yourself into that hole, she criticized herself.

            Patricia raised her eyebrows. "And how does Sean feel about that?"

            He doesn't know, she silently answered. Instead she tried to play it off the best she could. "Mom! He's married! And so am I! It's not like there's anything still going on between us. He's just helping a friend out, that's all." She hated lying to her mother like this, but it was for the best. She just hoped that she was being halfway convincing.

            Patricia looked unconvinced, but didn't press the matter much further. "All I'm saying Lyss is that you need to be careful. I'm sure that the two of you have the purest of intentions, but you have to think about what it looks like to other people. You don't want anyone to get the wrong idea about you, do you?"

            Too late for that, she thought thinking about her recent confrontation with Kim a few days prior. "I know," she answered in a small voice. Even though getting upset only made her look more suspicious, she already felt frustrated tears burning her eyelids. "He really is a big help to me though."

            Meg exchanged a worried glance with her, automatically knowing that there was more to this story than she was actually letting on. Her mother though, took Alyssa's tears as an entirely different sign. "Oh honey, I know you probably miss Sean, right? I imagine that the holidays would be the hardest for you, especially in your condition. I shouldn't have brought it up. I'm sorry," Patricia apologized.

            Alyssa just shook her head, the mention of Sean's name making her feel even guiltier causing the tears to flow more freely. She needed to get out of there before her mother and sister caught on to what was really upsetting her. "I'm sorry," she mumbled as she stood up from the couch. "I just need to be alone for a while."

Without waiting for their response, she turned on her heels and fled upstairs towards the guest bedroom. Behind her she could just about make out the concerned voices of her mother and Meg. "Maybe I should go after her?" Meg was asking.

"It's probably just pregnancy hormones," she heard Patricia dismiss. "I bet she misses Sean and just got a little over emotional. She'll be fine once she lets it all out."

I wish that was all this was, she thought sniffling to herself as she collapsed onto the bed of the guest room. She could hear water running from the bathroom and knew that her father must be in the shower. She didn't want him to overhear her and have to come up with some excuse for her crying. I really am a horrible person, she told herself as she thought about Sean in Iraq and how he probably was spending his Thanksgiving. Today was probably just another day for him. Why are you so worried about him though? another voice in her head asked. Hadn't she pretty clearly figured out that her heart was way more invested in Nick than it was in Sean? Even so she realized that she couldn't just be completely heartless towards Sean. They had after all had their own relationship and their own memories and although it was pretty obvious to which man she preferred, she did at least care about Sean. How was she going to keep this up until Sean returned from Iraq?

A few minutes later just as she'd feared there was a knock at the door. "Who is it?" she warily asked, lifting her head up from the pillows.

"It's me Meg. Can I come in?"

"Doors open," she replied, glad that it was her sister at the door and not her mother.

Meg stepped inside the room just in time to see Alyssa quickly rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands to hide her tears. "Oh, get off it Alyssa. You don't need to pretend like nothing is wrong around me. I know more secrets of yours then I can count." She sat down on the edge of the bed next to her. "In fact, I know you so well that I know the reason why you came up here crying isn't because you miss Sean, right? Judging from how upset you got when Mom questioned you about Nick, I'm going to have to say this had to do with him right?"

At just the mention of his name, Alyssa's face crumpled again, further confirming her sister's suspicions. "Let me guess..." she continued. "You've fallen for his charm once again and there actually is more going on than you want to admit, right?"

Alyssa just nodded her head, looking defeated. "How do you know me so well?" she tearfully asked.

Meg just shrugged and grinned. "I don't know... This only happens what? Every four years? It's like leap year or the Olympics or something. You just learn to expect it after a while. Plus the fact that when we talked on the phone a few months ago you were asking some very interesting, hypothetical questions about cheating... I knew this was about Nick all along. So, let me guess? You started hanging out again, there was a bit of attraction still there, so while Sean is away you're lonely and pregnant, so you start hooking up with Nick again. Am I getting warm?"

Alyssa sighed as she stared up at the ceiling, a pillow hugged tightly to her chest. "That's not even the half of it. If only the situation were that shallow and easy to explain."

"Well, we got all day. I'm not going anywhere until you tell me everything and I do mean everything." Meg crossed her arms defiantly across her chest. "And don't try to lie because I know you better than that."

"Okay..." Alyssa took in a deep breath. "Well, I guess this all started while I was trying to get pregnant."

"Go on..." her older sister encouraged, listening intently.

"You know that Sean and I were having some trouble, right?" Meg just nodded her head, remembering Alyssa's prior phone conversations with her. "Well, it really took its toll on us and our relationship. Things got pretty bad. We totally stopped communicating to each other. Our sex life was horrible. Sean became so obsessed with the idea of getting me pregnant that he almost tried too hard, which made it more awkward. I guess it's partly my fault too because I didn't try as hard as I could've to make him realize what was going on. Anyway everything seemed to be falling apart between us. I wasn't getting pregnant and our relationship was self destructing. That's when I started hanging around Nick more and he's such a different person now. I could tell that he was still attracted to me and I was to him. I guess one night curiosity got the better of us. I'd just had a big fight with Sean and he was pissed at his wife, so we kind of wound up comforting each other. It was incredible. Like so different from when we'd been together previously. He was so caring and attentive... Anyway of course afterwards I felt horrible and I swore it wouldn't happen again. Then I found out I was pregnant."

Meg gasped as her mind connected the dots. "You mean this baby isn't Sean's?"

Alyssa shook her head, fighting back tears. "Not long after I'd found out I was pregnant I discovered that Sean was sterile. We'd went to this fertility clinic to find out why I was having so much trouble getting pregnant, and well that sure explains it. Of course I'd already told him about my pregnancy by this point and he was super excited about it. I just couldn't tell him the truth at that point. He wanted this too badly."

"You know I told you that he was probably shooting blanks Lyss. I just had this feeling. You should've listened to me after all." Meg smirked, but then turned sheepish once she realized that this probably wasn't what her younger sister needed to be hearing at this point. "Sorry," she apologized. "It's not funny and I shouldn't joke like that. So, does Nick know about the baby?"

Alyssa nodded. "I couldn't keep it from him. That would be pretty fucked up and would probably ruin our friendship. He took it pretty well, but I told him that I wanted to keep this a secret between us. Sean was so excited about being a father that I couldn't take this opportunity away from him because of one night. Nick seemed pretty hurt about my decision. He agreed, but I could tell that he wasn't very happy. He still has feelings for me and I guess even more so now that he knows I'm carrying his child."

"So, what's going on now? You said he's still around all the time to help you out. It's not just completely innocent, is it?"

Again Alyssa shook her head. "I could sit here and blame the pregnancy hormones or blame the fact that Sean is so far away, but the truth is I've come to the realization that I'm still in love with him. In fact, I'm not sure if I ever really, truly loved Sean. Yes, I care about him a great deal, but he's always just been second best to me. At first, I tried telling myself that Sean was better for me. He's more reliable, more stable, Mom and Dad adore him. He just seemed like the safer choice, but it's just not there between us. Not like it is with Nick and I. Once I realized that, there was no way that I could hold back my feelings any longer."

"So, this whole time the two of you have been like having an affair?" Meg's face looked shocked as if she'd never expected to hear all of this coming out of Alyssa's mouth.

"Not the whole time. Nothing was even going on at all up until this past month. It started off innocently enough. A few kisses here and there. But of course that led to bigger things eventually. We've been sleeping with each other for almost two weeks now," she confessed.

"Wow..." Meg flopped her back down onto the bed as she realized the severity of the situation her sister was in. No wonder she was so upset! "What are you going to do?" she asked after what felt like several minutes of shocked silence. "You can't go on like this forever. You have to choose one man or the other."

"I know..." Alyssa sighed. "I think when Sean comes back from Iraq I'm going to have to tell him the truth. It was hard enough hiding one night from him, never mind a full blown affair. I'd never be able to act the same around him again. It's just waiting for him to come back. I can't tell him all this in an e-mail or over the phone. That's totally callous. In the mean time though, I know that I'm not going to be able to stop seeing Nick."

"This sure is a doozy of a situation... Maybe you might be better going back to New York with Mom and Dad until Sean comes back. It'll put some distance between you and Nick for the time being. You can get your shit together and once you have everything taken care of you can come back and be with Nick if that's what you really want."

Alyssa turned to look at her sister, surprised by her suggestion. "I can't do that Meg. My life is out here. My job is here. Yea, I get maternity leave, but I'm not even tenured yet. If I take a leave of absence, I may not have a job to come back to. Besides, all my friends are here. I really don't want to move back in with Mommy and Daddy when I'm almost thirty years old."

"True... Sorry I didn't think about that." Meg sighed. "So, what does Nick think about the situation? He's married too. Does he have any intentions of leaving his wife?"

"I'm not sure..." Alyssa winced as soon as the words left her mouth knowing that she was going to hear it.

"Alyssa!"

"We haven't talked about it. We've kind of been dancing around the issue..."

"You have to have the ‘where is this heading talk,' Lyss!" Meg argued. "For all you know Nick may have no intentions of leaving Shayla and is completely comfortable getting it from the both of you."

"Nick's not like that," she cut in. "At least not anymore. He's changed Meg. A lot."

Meg just shrugged. "All I'm saying is that based on his track record it wouldn't surprise me. I mean I like Nick and all, but let's face it Lyss, the guy can't keep it in his pants."

"I'm no angel either," she tried to point out. "I mean every other relationship I've ever tried to have with anyone else outside of Nick has led to me going right back to him. That has to mean something."

"Yea, that you're stupid." As soon as the words left her mouth she saw Alyssa's lip begin to quiver and she realized that she was being too hard on her sister. She may not have agreed with what was going on, but Alyssa was still her sister and needed all the support that she could get. "I'm sorry. That was out of line. I shouldn't judge you like that. Lord knows that you'll be getting enough of that happening once this all comes out into the open."

"What do you mean?" Alyssa looked up at her innocently.

Meg looked at her like she was joking. "Are you kidding me Alyssa? Do you think that you're just going to run off into the sun set with Nick and your love child and live happily ever after? This is going to get ugly. I don't mean to scare you, but it's always harder for the woman in these situations. She's the one who everyone looks at and assumes that she's this big whore or something. It's even worse because of Nick being famous. This is going to be a huge tabloid scandal! You're going to have paparazzi snapping your picture everywhere you go. You know how vicious Nick's fans can get. They are going to be posting so much shit about you on the internet. People are constantly going to be judging you. Hell, you know how Dad feels about this stuff. You're lucky if he doesn't disown you."

Alyssa's face paled as she listened to Meg's description about her future if she pursued things with Nick. Was she really ready for all that? To risk her privacy, her career, her family, just to be with Nick? "I hadn't thought about all that..." she said in a small voice, feeling sicker by the second.

Seeing how this was only making Alyssa feel worse, Meg's face softened as she put a comforting arm around her. "I don't mean to scare you. I just want you to be sure this is what you really want. No matter what you decide to do I'm still going to be your sister and I'm still going to love and support you. I just want you to be happy."

"Do you think Daddy would really disown me?" she tearfully asked. Anthony Martinelli was very old school Italian and had raised his three daughters very strictly. For the most part the three girls had grown up to be very respectful and maintain good values, but each girl had also had their own little period of rebellion. Meg had dropped out of college and ran off with her first boyfriend who had turned out to be abusive. Stephanie had gotten herself involved with the wrong crowd at a young age and began abusing drugs and alcohol by the age of sixteen. Then there was herself, who had actually been the most reserved of the three, who got herself wrapped into Nick. Anthony had never been a big fan of Nick's and hadn't ever tried to hide the fact. Combined with the fact that she'd not only cheated on Sean with him, but would be seeking a divorce from Sean as well, she was a little fearful of her father's reaction. He'd raised his daughters to believe that marriage was a permanent arrangement. The only excuse for a divorce would be if the relationship became abusive.

Meg hugged her closer and lightly laughed, trying to make a joke of the situation. "I don't know... After everything Steph's done, I don't think that this is much worse. And he's forgiven her."

"But I haven't..." Alyssa sighed. "I guess I should probably try to mend fences with her, huh?"

"Well, it would be nice. You haven't spoken to the girl in four years, yet you've forgiven Nick enough where you can sleep with him. If you ask me that is a bit of a double standard. But seriously, I can tell she's sorry about what happened and she misses you. We've talked about it. She's grown up so much since then. She's come a really long way. I think it's about time you made peace. "

Alyssa nodded. "Yea, it's probably really awkward and uncomfortable for her being here. Honestly, right now I have bigger problems them worrying about upholding a stupid grudge with her."

"Then you should talk to her," Meg suggested. "Pull her aside later and tell her that you're done being mad at her for something happened seven years ago."

"Maybe..." Alyssa sighed once she realized how long they've been up there for. "I guess we better go back downstairs and help before they send up a search party for us."

Meg shook her head. "I'll go down. You can stay here and rest a little. Pull yourself together. Maybe take a little nap to recharge. I'll tell Mom and Dad that you aren't feeling very well. They'll buy it."

"You sure?" Meg nodded. "Thanks a lot. A nap sounds like a good idea. Even though all I've done today is cry, I'm exhausted."

"It takes a lot out of you," she sympathized. "I'll see you later. Think about what I said."

A few moments later, Meg had left the room and Alyssa was left alone. Utterly exhausted from her emotional release, she closed her eyes and within a few moments she was asleep.