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Author's Chapter Notes:

A foot massage goes off course.

 

Chapter 34 - Sweetest Sin

 

            The days after her extended dinner date with Nick, were full of confusion and guilt for Alyssa. It wasn't until after everything was said and done, that the full ramifications of what she had done really hit her. Again she'd cheated on her husband, and although this time things hadn't gone as far as they had previously, it was almost made worse by the fact that this time she hadn't really had a reason. When she had slept with Nick back in June, it had been after a major fight with Sean as well as months of the two of them failing to connect within their marriage. This time though there hadn't been much of a good reason besides the fact that she was lonely and pregnant. Two both very selfish reasons. Granted, she'd had a fight with Sean earlier that week and that had played its role, but for the most part it had been her own selfish choice to take things as far as she had with Nick.

 

            As much as she tried to deny it to herself, the physical attraction she had for Nick was insurmountable and the feelings that ran through her every time they touched were unlike anything she'd ever felt in the past for Sean. It was unlike anything she felt even previously with Nick. She wasn't sure if it was just the fact that she knew that she was carrying his child or if it was because they both had matured so much throughout the last few years. Of course she was certain that her out of control pregnancy hormones had a lot to do with as well, but she honestly felt like their connection had more to it than just her crazy emotions.

 

            She'd analyzed her relationships with both men from every angle and had come to a frightening conclusion. She'd been talking on the phone with Teri about long distance relationships a few days earlier. Both women knew exactly what it felt like to be involved with someone who wasn't always immediately at their side. Alyssa, of course not only with Sean being over in Iraq at the moment, but in her past relationship in Nick while he was on tour, and Teri's experiences with Howie.

 

 "The situation with Sean and I is just so seriously fucked up. Like he's over in Iraq and because he's so far away and not always readily available for me to contact him it makes it easier and easier for me to forget that he even exists. Does that make me a horrible person?" she'd asked.

 

"Not necessarily," Teri had responded. "You shouldn't stop living because he's not around. Sitting around moping about him being gone isn't going to do you any good at all. If it's easier to pretend for the moment that he's not in the picture, then you do what you have to do."

 

"But that's not even the half of it," she argued. "If that's not bad enough, factor in the fact that while Sean is noticeably absent and has left a huge hole in my life, Nick is conveniently around to fill it for me. Not only is the situation complicated enough by the fact that this baby is his, but he does everything for me. Everything that Sean should be doing, but can't. It's a very dangerous situation."

 

            "Dangerous?" Alyssa could practically picture Teri raising her eyebrows. "Why exactly would that be dangerous? Unless... You're still attracted to him, aren't you?"

 

            Alyssa sighed, seeing that Teri had once again hit the nail right on the end. It was almost eerie how she could always guess at what was eating away at her. "I guess I am. I mean at first I was thinking it was just the pregnancy hormones trying to cause trouble. I mean I'm five months pregnant, I'm very easily turned on by the littlest things, and my husband is thousands of miles away. Of course I'm going to be tempted. Having Nick around so much is torture sometimes. But he really is doing so much for me and the fact that he's so concerned about me is really sexy. It's really hard to ignore sometimes..."

 

            "What are you trying to tell me Alyssa? Are you saying that stuff has been going on between you two again? If they are I want details, so spill," her friend commanded.

 

            Alyssa rolled her eyes on her end of the phone. "Seriously Teri... Either your psychic or you secretly spy on me or something."

 

            Teri laughed. "No, I just know you and Nick. So, what's been going on? Has he been helping you alleviate some of those pesky hormones?"

 

            "I guess you could kind of say that. No... We're not sleeping together," she answered before Teri could even ask the question. "It hasn't gotten to that point, at least not yet. We've just shared a few really steamy make out sessions and then well... last week we kind of fooled around a bit."

 

            "Define fooled around... Like who did what?"

 

            Alyssa felt herself blush. "We went out to dinner and afterwards things got really out of hand. We were both being really flirty. Anyway we wound up going back to his place and one thing led to another and next thing I know he's going down on me."

 

            Teri snickered. "I don't know what's more unbelievable? That you actually had oral sex with your ex boyfriend? Or that you actually used the phrase ‘go down on.'"

 

            "Shut up! There aren't exactly a lot of other phrases to use for the situation," she pointed out. "I mean think about it. There are like five thousand words for blowjob, but your choices are pretty slim when it comes to cunnilingus."

 

            "Lip service, giving lip, eating out, poon job..." Teri rattled off. "Should I continue? They only get worse."

 

            "It's okay. Spare me the details." Alyssa made a face and shuddered. "I've always hated the whole ‘eating' term. It sounds like you're about to be devoured or something."

           

            "So, back to the subject at hand..." Teri paused as she giggled at the unintentional pun she'd just made. "Was there any reciprocal action going on? Or did it just end there?"

 

            Again Alyssa felt her face redden. "No, I returned the favor."

 

            "Go you! Miss ‘I'm not completely comfortable giving head.' Bet he enjoyed it huh?"

 

            She rolled her eyes again. "That was almost four years ago. A lot has changed. He seemed impressed though. Asked where I learned to work my tongue like that," she shyly admitted.

 

            "So, you guys haven't..."

 

            "No," Alyssa cut her off, knowing what she was about to ask. "I couldn't. We almost, but it didn't feel right."

 

            "So, oral was no problem, but actual sex is where the moral line is drawn?" Teri asked.

 

            She sighed. "I know that sounds messed up, right? It's still cheating either way. But sex is just such an emotional thing and I'm not sure if I'm ready for this to go down that path yet. It's not fair to Sean."

 

            Teri's next comment surprised her. "Why are you so concerned with Sean for?"

 

            "Because he's my husband," she sputtered. "I'm supposed to be concerned with him."

 

            "Bullshit. Let me hold up a mirror for you right now. You're saying that Sean is a thousand miles away, but you can't help but feel further and further of a disconnect between the two of you. Meanwhile, Nick is right by your side doing anything and everything he can for you and of course you're starting to rely on him. All I can tell you is that from my experience, when Howie and I have been apart for long periods of time because of his touring schedule and all that, I don't even think about looking at another man. Our time apart only makes our love stronger once we're back together again. If your eyes are wandering maybe there's a reason for that."

 

            Alyssa frowned still unsure of what she was getting at. "I still don't follow you."

 

            Teri sighed in exasperation. "Are you that blind Alyssa? Before he left, your relationship with Sean was not exactly daises and sunshine. For months he became so obsessed with the idea of having a baby that he completely and utterly neglected your needs and desires. He refused to listen when you tried to bring it up with him. There was no communication. He was treating you like a baby making machine. And I know he's a nice guy and all, but you deserve a man who is willing to put you first every once in a while. Then on the other hand you have Nick, who you already know you have amazing chemistry with. Besides all that, look at all he's done for you in the past few months? You would have to be an ice queen not to start to fall back in love with him again."

 

            Alyssa froze at Teri's last sentence. She had been suspecting that she still had feelings for Nick, but was she really falling in love with him again? Then a frightening realization hit her. Yes, she was not only falling back in love with him, but she was beginning to wonder if she had ever stopped in the first place. He'd hurt her in one of the worst ways possible and she had done everything that she possibly could to erase him from her life. She'd moved to a completely new state, immersed herself in a new job, and attempted to forge a new relationship with Sean. Looking back at that time period in retrospect she realized that she'd only settled for Sean. The emotional wounds that Nick had inflicted on her were barely healed, yet she let herself jump into things with him. At the time she'd seen it as moving on. She couldn't sit there and cry over Nick forever, so better to try her luck with someone else since they just probably were not meant to be. Sean had never made her feel the exact way that Nick had, but he'd always treated her with respect and was a genuinely nice guy. At one time she thought that she was in love with him, but as of lately she found herself doubting that love. Was it possible that she'd never really, truly, loved him after all, but had just been settling because she couldn't be with Nick?

           

            Teri's voice interrupted her thoughts. "Alyssa? Are you still there?"

 

            "Yea... I'm here," she dully echoed, too shaken by her realization to say much more.

 

            "You got really quiet. I'm sorry if I upset you. That was pretty harsh and I probably shouldn't be trying to put ideas like that in your head," she scrambled to apologize.

 

            "No..." Alyssa shook her head. "Don't apologize. You were only speaking the truth."

 

            "What do you mean?"

 

            She drew in a deep breath. If there was one person that she could admit her true feelings to, she knew that it was Teri. "You're right. Things between Sean and I were never exactly the way they should have been, but I don't think it's as much his fault as it is mine. He's always been more in love with me than I have been with him. My heart was always somewhere else throughout our whole relationship. I haven't been seeing it until just recently, but I'm beginning to realize that I really just settled with Sean. I really had thought that I was going to spend my entire life with Nick, so in comparison no other guy could live up to that in my head. Sean's a decent guy though. He's polite and outside of just recently he's always been pretty considerate. He seemed like an all around nice guy, so I figured why not? He's dependable and exactly the type of guy who you know is going to be a good husband and father."

 

            "But there was no passion or chemistry between the two of you, so all his good qualities almost didn't matter in the end," Teri continued for her.

 

            "Exactly!" Alyssa felt herself relax a little when she realized that her friend understood exactly what she was trying to say. "All the dependability and decency in the world doesn't matter if there isn't that spark there in the first place. I just can't believe I didn't see that up until all this stuff has been happening recently with Nick. He just makes me feel amazing and I used to think that was a bad thing. Like too much fire and passion and all that is too volatile to really work out, but now I'm beginning to think that maybe that's exactly what love is supposed to feel like."

 

            "Fire and passion are not bad things at all. Sex is an important part of any relationship and I really feel that without them the entire relationship goes stale. I truly believe that how a couple communicates in the bedroom says a lot about their entire relationship as a whole. Take you and Sean for instance. A few months ago you told me that overall he was a pretty inconsistent lover, right?"

 

            Alyssa nodded into the phone. "Yea... I mean not saying it wasn't ever good. There were some times that he surprised me, but there were also times where it almost felt as if he were trying too hard. Like while I was trying to get pregnant."

 

            "That all holds true for your relationship too," she pointed out. "Your marriage so far has seemed very inconsistent. One minute you're happy, and then once obstacles are thrown your way such as him getting deployed and the two of you having a hard time conceiving, you start to fall apart. I think in general Sean tries too hard to be the perfect husband for you and in doing that he only turns you away from him. Now with Nick from what you've told me lately he's been very considerate to you."

 

            "He has," Alyssa agreed. "And not just sexually. I mean I pretty much told the guy, ‘Guess what? You're going to be a father, but not really because I want you to give up all your rights, so that I can let my husband believe it's his.' Any other guy would've wanted nothing to do with me after that, but not Nick. I know he's hurt and disappointed, but he's still by my side helping me out in any way he can. For a guy who claimed to never want kids, he seems to be really into this pregnancy. Seeing this side of him is just frustrating because it makes me want to be with him even more. I guess I still do love him, but now that we're both married we can't just run away and be together. We're both too tied down right now."

 

            "So you'd rather stay with Sean and be miserable? You can't hide this whole affair thing you guys have going on for too much longer. He's going to find out sooner or later. Shayla is probably already pretty suspicious herself."

 

            "I know." Alyssa sighed. "I just don't know what to do. I can't tell Sean that I'm not sure if I'm in love with him over the phone or through e-mail. That's shitty. If I'm going to break the poor guy's heart I at least owe it to him to do it in person. But I also can't stop seeing Nick. He really does a lot for me and without him I'm not sure how I'd get through this pregnancy. And the more time I spend with him the closer I come to acting on my feelings for him. Either way sucks. Besides, what if Nick doesn't feel the same about me?"

 

            "If he still finds you sexy while you're growing bigger by the second, I'd say that he has to be pretty infatuated with you," Teri predicted. "I wish I could give you better advice, but as cheesy and cliché as it sounds, go with your heart. And right now it certainly sounds to me like your heart is pointing in the opposite direction of your marriage. You can't fight these kinds of things because your willpower is going to falter sooner or later."

 

            "You're right," she admitted. "I wish there was just a way to solve this without anyone getting hurt."

 

            "Unfortunately, that's impossible. It's too late for that. Now you just have to do what makes you happy and screw what anyone else thinks."

 

            "That's selfish though."

 

            "It's not selfish if it makes you happy."

 

            Those eight words may just have been the most valuable piece of advice that anyone had ever given for. Teri had been right. It was time that Alyssa stopped putting everyone else's needs before hers and took care of herself for once.

 

***********

 

            The following Friday night, exactly one week from their dinner date, Alyssa was having a much more low key evening than the previous week. She'd come home from work, totally and utterly exhausted. Being on her feet for most of the day was difficult for her and even though she was only in the middle of her fifth month, she was already finding even the lowest of her heels uncomfortable. All she knew was that her feet and ankles were so swollen that she couldn't stand to be on them for another moment once she'd arrived home from work. She'd barely made it upstairs to her bedroom where she'd ditched her uncomfortable work clothes for a pair of gym shorts, and a tank top. She'd immediately taken a two hour nap and was disappointed when she awoke to find that her feet were still almost throbbing in pain. Too lazy to get up to even think about getting something for dinner, she'd grabbed one of the pregnancy books from her nightstand and started to flip through it. Maybe there would be some good tips in there about dealing with swollen feet.

 

            She'd only been reading for about fifteen minutes when she heard the sound of her front door creaking open from downstairs. "Alyssa?" she heard Nick's familiar voice call. "Where are you?"

 

            "Upstairs," she yelled back. "In my room. You can come right up."

 

            A few moments later Nick emerged in the doorway. Alyssa had left it open this whole time too lazy to shut it once she'd first came home from work. He looked a little concerned as soon as he saw Alyssa flopped across her bed reading. "Are you okay?" he asked. "The doctor didn't like put you on bed rest or anything, did she?"

 

            Alyssa just laughed at the way in which he seemed to dote over her. "No, I'm fine. Just a little tired and my feet are killing me, so I took a little nap and I don't feel like moving just yet. What brings you by here?"

 

            Nick shrugged. "Shayla had one of her things tonight and I really didn't want to go. I didn't want to be bored at home though by myself, so I thought I'd stop by and see if you wanted to get some food or something."

 

            "That's sweet of you," she genuinely told him. "But you didn't have to stop over. You could've just called. I don't really feel like going out tonight. I feel too pregnant."

            "I did call, but you didn't pick up your phone."

 

            "Oops! I was probably sleeping when you called. Sorry about that."

 

            "It's okay," he told her. "So, you haven't eaten yet?"

 

            "Nope. Not yet. I'm too lazy to get up and go downstairs to grab something. Plus my feet hurt like a mother."

 

            "If you want I could go downstairs and throw something together really quick for us," he offered.

 

            Alyssa shook her head. "It's okay Nick. I'm not really very hungry."

 

            But Nick wasn't taking no for an answer. "Uh uh. You have to eat something, at least for the baby." He bent down to drop a light kiss on her cheek. "You stay here and I'll be back before you even realize it."

 

            "Okay," was all that Alyssa could say in response, knowing that she wasn't going to win this one. She was a little curious to see what Nick could rustle up in her kitchen. She normally did her food shopping for the week on the weekend, so by Friday her selections were usually pretty limited. Figuring that he may be a while, she picked her book back up and continued to read from the spot she just left off.

 

            About twenty minutes later Nick reappeared balancing two plates and with two bottles of water tucked under his arms. "I made you a grilled chicken salad sandwich. Is that okay?" he asked as he placed the plates on the bed in front of him.

 

            "That actually sounds really good." She pulled herself into a sitting position, so that there was room for him to join her. She picked up her plate and balanced it on her lap. The sandwich actually looked like Nick had put a lot of effort in making it. The lettuce was neatly arranged on the roll and he'd even taken the time to cut the sandwich into two equal halves. She grabbed her first half and bit into it, a little surprised at how delicious it was. "Wow... This is pretty good. I forgot I had any cans of chicken salad lying around in the pantry."

 

            "You didn't. It's fresh. I sliced up the chicken and grilled it myself," Nick proudly informed her.

 

            Alyssa almost choked after he said that, she was so surprised. "Since when do you cook?"

 

            Nick just shrugged. "Do you think Shayla cooks? One of us had to learn. I mean we eat out mostly, but every once in a while I'll whip up something."

 

            "Well, you learn something new every day." She continued to eat her sandwich and sip her water, surprised to find that she was actually a lot hungrier than she'd thought she was. Nick asked her about how her day had went at school and the conversation turned to small talk about the students in her class. Before she knew it, she had finished her sandwich completely and all that was left was a pile of crumbs.

 

            "For someone who wasn't hungry you did pretty good on that sandwich," Nick commented as he grabbed the empty plate for her.

 

            "It was really good. Who knew that you had such a talent for chicken salad?" she teased.

 

            Nick smirked. "I have a lot of secret talents you don't know about. I'll bring these plates downstairs for you if you want."

 

            "No, you can just leave them on the nightstand and I'll get them later," she told him.

 

            "You sure? It's really not a problem. I just want to do whatever I can to help you out."

 

            A playful grin slowly spread out over Alyssa's lips as she got an idea. It may be asking for trouble, but her feet really did still hurt and he had said he'd do anything to help her out. "Well, there is one thing you could do for me..."

 

            "What's that?" Nick asked.

 

            "Are you still good at giving foot rubs?" she innocently asked. "Because as I said my feet are killing me and if I remember correctly you've got magic hands when it comes to these things."

 

            Nick looked a little surprised at her boldness. Typically Alyssa never would ask out right for anything, rather she'd drop little hints for him. "Well, I'll admit that I am a little bit rusty, but I'll see what I can do for you," he offered with a sly grin. He grabbed her left foot in his hand and Alyssa adjusted her position so that she was lying back, propped up on her elbows. Just from holding her foot in his hands, he could feel how swollen it was and he could only imagine how much it probably hurt. He immediately got to work, focusing on the middle of her foot first where most of her pain came from. His thumbs worked in a circular motion over the top of her foot while the rest of his hand rubbed against the bottom. Alyssa immediately closed her eyes and a small sigh of contentment left her lips. For the first time that day she finally began herself to begin to fully relax.

 

            Nick grinned at her reaction. "Yep, looks like I still got it." He continued to move his hands up and down over her feet, but then he got an idea as his eyes connected with a bottle of body lotion on her nightstand next to the bed. He dropped her foot for the moment to reach over and grab the bottle.

 

            "What are you doing?" Alyssa asked, her eyes still closed.

 

            "You'll see," he mysteriously told her as he squeezed out a small amount of lotion onto his hands. Alyssa winced a little when she felt the cold liquid against her skin, but quickly relaxed again as he began to rub it in. The extra lubrication of the lotion made it easier for him to massage her sore muscles and combined with the heat of his hands it made it feel all that much more pleasurable. She was practically purring with satisfaction, especially when his hands reached her heel and wrapped around her ankle.         

           

            After spending a few more minutes on that foot, he switched over to give her right foot equal attention. A small shiver of pleasure tickled down her spine as he lathered lotion over the sensitive underside of her foot. The scent of the coconut lotion wafted up to her nostrils relaxing her even more so. "Mmmm..." she breathed as his knuckles rolled from the ball of her foot to the heel. "God, this feels good..." This was even better than getting a pedicure. Her eyes snuck open in time to watch him trace the twisting vine of the tattoo on the top of her foot with his thumbs. She closed them again and found herself imagining doing the same with his lips. Maybe this wasn't the best idea after all...

 

            She felt his hands momentarily pull away for a moment. "No... Don't stop," she begged, not even thinking about how sexual it sounded.

 

            Nick laughed at her impatience, realizing what this was doing to her. "I'm not,' he insisted. He lathered up more lotion onto his hands, but this time traveling further up her legs to her calves. Come to think of it, they'd been pretty sore too. She couldn't help but to moan as she felt his hands knead into the delicate tissue. Why did everything have to feel so good? He really did have amazing hands.

 

            Nick switched his focus back onto her other leg and as he rubbed and massaged, he stole a quick glance at the expression on Alyssa's face. Her dark hair was fanned out against her pillow and her eyes were closed, her lips slightly parted. The expression on her face was one of pure bliss and he couldn't help, but be a little turned on by it. Not only were the noises that she was making sound a little sexual, but the expression on her face was almost the exact same expression she'd make during sex. It was hard not to get carried away in this situation.

 

            She asked for this, he had to remind himself as he debated on whether or not he should try to make a move on her. He didn't exactly want to take advantage of the situation, but it was so tempting. Maybe he'd just push a few buttons to see how she'd react. Even though he had no reason to, he slid his hand further up her leg, so that it rested on her thigh, and teased the skin on the inside with his fingertips. He felt Alyssa breathe in sharply beneath him giving him the confidence to go on. He leaned over her body and his lips zeroed in on a spot at the side of her neck. Alyssa didn't pull away at all. In fact, she tilted her head to the side slightly allowing him more access to the area moaning lightly at the feeling of his mouth against her skin. Moving almost painfully slow, he kissed up the side of her neck, up until her ear. This time Alyssa pulled away and cradled his chin in her hands, forcing him to look at her. Her eyes seemed to beg with his for him to properly kiss her, so without hesitation he firmly pressed his lips against hers, raising his hand to stroke against her hair.

 

            He was surprised with how aggressively Alyssa returned the kiss. Her hands floated around his back, lightly scratching her fingernails against the thin material of his shirt while her tongue ran against his bottom lip. He definitely was expecting her to be more reluctant, especially after their last encounter, last week. Perhaps that foot rub really had done wonders. He was very curious to see at what point she would draw the line this time, if at all. Deciding to test out his theory, he dragged his hand down over her body until he was back down on her inner thigh. Moving his hand a little to the left, he slipped it under the baggy leg of her gym shorts, fingering the edge of her underwear. It became very obvious to him that she'd enjoyed his foot rub very much. His fingers were just about to slip underneath the thin fabric when he felt Alyssa stiffen up under his touch and pull away. So this was her breaking point...

 

            "Nick, maybe this isn't exactly the best idea," she breathlessly tried to tell him.

 

            But Nick had other ideas. He couldn't help, but notice that there wasn't much conviction in her voice. It was as if she was only saying it because she felt like she was obligated to. He had a feeling that she really wanted to continue this as much as she did. All she needed was some careful prodding. He cupped her chin and forced his eyes to focus on him. "No... Please Lyssa," he begged. "Please let me make love to you."

 

            Alyssa's eyes widened a little in shock. She wasn't sure what was more surprising. The fact that he was actually asking her for permission or the fact that he had said that he wanted to ‘make love to her?' Her body trembled with emotion and she knew in that moment she was done. There was no way that she could say no. As Teri had predicted she could no longer fight the way she truly felt about him. She opened her mouth to respond, but no words would come out. All she could do was nod her head.

 

            "I'm guessing that's a yes?" Nick uncertainly asked.

 

            "Yes..." she whispered finally finding her voice.

 

            Nick didn't waste anymore time asking questions. His lips pressed so forcefully against hers that Alyssa thought that her lungs would give out any second. His hands inched her tank top up her waist and his fingertips tickled the skin beneath. Alyssa raised her arms over her head giving him permission to remove the material from her body. She hadn't been wearing a bra, so Nick was greeted with the sight of her nipples reacting to the cool air.  Sensing his urgency, Alyssa scrunched the material at the back of his shirt with her fingers pulling it upwards. With a little assistance from him, she pulled it up over his head and let it fall off to the side.

 

Growing a little more aggressive, she pulled herself into a sitting position not breaking contact between their lips. She continued to kiss him fervently while she traced her fingers in circular patterns down his chest. Finally resting her hands on the top of his jeans she wasted no time in unbuttoning and unzipping them. Nick helped her by wriggling out of them as she pulled them off his legs.

 

Nick had already hooked his thumbs into the waist of her shorts. He didn't want to move too fast, but he was also half afraid that if he moved too slowly she'd realize exactly what they were doing and back out at the last minute like the week before. He needed to move things along quickly enough that she wouldn't have a chance to stop and question anything. Not wanting to waste any time longer than necessary he pulled down both her shorts and her underwear in one swift move, leaving her completely exposed to him. Anxious to feel every inch of him on her, Alyssa pulled at his boxers until they too were lying in a pile on the floor.

 

            Nick walked his arms forward forcing Alyssa back down against the bed with short, light kisses. He was growing more and more impatient by the second and decided that he should probably just make his move then. Watching Alyssa's reactions to his foot rub had been foreplay enough for him and he was pretty sure it had been for her too. He grabbed one of her legs, inching it up so that it bent at the knee. Knowing what he wanted, Alyssa automatically bent her other leg for him. His hand slid up to her knee cap as he lined his body up with hers. He was a little concerned with her being pregnant and all. He wanted her to be as comfortable as possible. He positioned himself up against her and slowly slid himself inside.

 

            This time Alyssa did nothing to try and stop him. It was like she'd finally just given into him. She bit her lip and moaned lightly in his ear as he filled her. Her fingernails dug into his back as he started to move. His motions were a little awkward as he tried to get used to the extra bit of room between her bodies because of her growing stomach. He glanced down at Alyssa to see how she was adapting. Her face was scrunched up a little bit in discomfort and her body shifted beneath him as she struggled to meet his movements.

 

            "How are you doing?" he asked her, his voice full of concern. "Are you okay?"

 

            Alyssa's eyes opened and looked up at him. The tone of his voice and his worried expression made it very clear to her that he wanted her to feel as comfortable as possible. It almost reminded her of the very first time they'd made love; her very first time. He'd been just as concerned and worried about hurting her back then too. It was strange to think about how so much had changed between them since then, but some very basic things had stayed the same such as the way that he looked out for her. Maybe some of the qualities she was only seeing in him now that they were older had been there all along and he just hadn't shown them as often back then. His concern for her made her feel safe. "Actually this isn't really the most comfortable position for me right now," she shyly admitted. "I thought that maybe, but it's not working for me."

 

            Nick immediately stopped what he was doing. "It's okay," he assured her as he moved next to her and dropped a light kiss on her shoulder. "We just have to be a little more creative, that's all."

 

            Alyssa narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm not getting on top. I'm way too fat."

 

            He laughed at her self -consciousness. "You don't have to. I'll think of something.' His mind quickly scrambled for an idea and as soon as Alyssa saw his eyes light up she knew that he had came up with an idea. "Come over here," he motioned, patting a spot in front of him.

                                

            Alyssa climbed over to where he had wanted her, curious to see what he had up his sleeve. His hands snaked up around her waist from behind her, pulling her onto her knees. He adjusted his position behind her so that he was about level with her. Alyssa gasped when she unexpectedly felt him plunge into her. It took a moment or two to get used to the new position as he slowly began to move in and out of her.

 

            "I don't think I've ever done it like this before," she admitted as she leaned her back up against his chest.

 

            "Feels a little weird, huh? You'll get used to it and love it," Nick promised her, his voice tickling her ear.

 

            Her eyes opened as she sank back down on him and for the first time she realized that this particular position left them in perfect view of the mirror that hung above her dresser. She froze up a little and looked away, too embarrassed to see their reflection looking back at her. She may have grown a little bit more confidence in recent years, but still not that much yet. She slid her knees slightly, trying to move them little by little away from the mirror.

 

            Nick picked up on her fidgeting and firmly gripped her hips, so that she couldn't move. "Lyss... where are you going?" he breathed out.

 

            Alyssa felt her cheeks redden a little. "The mirror is right there. It's making me uncomfortable," she confessed.

 

            Nick's eyes glanced up at the mirror not at all bothered by it. He hadn't realized how it could play into what they were doing, so he just considered it an added bonus. "I think it's kind of hot," he disagreed. "Besides..." his voice lowered as he continued to try and convince her. "Then you can see everything I do to you. Like this..." His hand wandered up to her breast and rolled her nipple between two of his fingers. "Or this..." His other hand drifted off her hips and slipped in between her legs.

 

            Alyssa moaned as his hands wandered her body still though making sure her gaze was not fixated on the mirror. Obviously this was a big turn on for Nick and she didn't want to be a bitch and take it away from him just because she was a little shyer. She'd just look someplace else or close her eyes or something. As if to show him she wasn't going to complain any more, she tilted her head over her shoulder, so that she was looking back at him. Her hands flew above her into his hair as her lips zeroed in on the hollow of his throat, sucking at it gently. She could tell that Nick found the move very pleasurable because he sped up his movements and his hands gripped her body tightly. Her hand lowered to the base of his neck lightly running her fingernails against the sensitive area making him shudder.

 

            Nick reluctantly pulled away from her. He definitely had been surprised with her initiative, but being that this was her first time having sex since she was pregnant he wanted to shift the focus back onto her. His hands wandered over her upper body as he planted a light trail of kisses across her two shoulders. Alyssa's back arched against his lips and her fingernails dug into his thighs. He continued spreading kisses along the side of her neck, sweeping her hair off to one side, so that the tattoo on the back of her neck became visible. His lips connected with the row of stars, sucking lightly along the design causing Alyssa to cry out. His hands rested on her breasts, teasing her nipples as he pulled away. Through the mirror he could see that Alyssa's eyes were closed, but by the look on her face he could tell that she was really enjoying herself.

 

            "Lyss... just open your eyes for a second," he pleaded with her. "Please? For me?"

 

            Alyssa could hear the urgency in his voice and she could tell how badly he wanted to see her reaction to the two of them in the mirror. Very tentatively she decided to open her eyes maybe to just take a quick peek for him. Her heart was pounding as her eyes opened and she found herself face to face with the mirror. She could see them moving together in perfect rhythm and Nick's face behind her was scrunched up in pleasure. She had to admit that she had missed not being able to see his face and this was one way that she could. She watched as she saw his thumb brush back and forth against her nipple and she had to admit to herself that it was a bit of a turn on to see. Nick grinned and let his hands drop back down to her stomach once he saw that she'd listened to his plea. "Like what you see?" he smirked.

 

            Alyssa could only nod her head, the image of his hands moving in a circular motion on her pregnant stomach striking a particularly powerful chord of emotion within her. Nick's hands wandered down to her hips knowing that they both couldn't be too far away now. His arms steered her hips exactly where he needed her to be. Alyssa moved up and down on him more quickly than before her breathing increasing as she felt herself contract around him. Her head swiveled back around to see his face, but Nick grabbed her chin forcing her head back towards the mirror. "I want you to look at me through the mirror," he demanded.

           

            Alyssa had no choice, but to do what he asked of her. It was killing her not being able to see his face and the only way to do that in their position was through the mirror. Damn him, she thought to herself. How is that he always manages to manipulate me into what he wants to do? Her desire to see his face definitely outweighed her modesty. Her eyes focused straight on to the mirror, catching his gaze from behind her. When she felt her eyes connect with his in the mirror, it was the strangest feeling to be looking at him yet their bodies as well the whole time. Her body shook and trembled feeling her orgasm begin to shake through her body. She cried out loudly as she rode out the sensation. Once he felt Alyssa reach her release, Nick let himself go right behind her.

 

            Alyssa collapsed back against his arms almost stunned by the intensity of what had just happened. She wasn't sure if it had to do with the hormones, her attraction to Nick, or the fact that they just seemed to have amazing physical chemistry together, but now she was more and more certain that Sean was a mistake. How could she even compare her sex life with Sean to that? She couldn't. There was no contest.

 

            Nick laid them back against the sheets and dropped a light kiss on her temple. "Was that better for you?" he asked, sounding genuinely concerned with whether or not she enjoyed herself or not.

 

            She grinned up at him. "It was more than better. You're right. I loved it. I think I just found a new favorite position," she giggled.

 

            Nick's face lit up. He seemed to feel very accomplished that he'd been able to satisfy her so fully. "I told you that you'd love it. I figured that it would be less awkward because the baby wouldn't be in the way. By the way, how are the feet doing?"

 

            Alyssa could only smirk in response. "Honestly? I can't even feel them right now." Her hands hooked around his neck and she pressed her lips up against his to show her appreciation. This time, unlike last week she showed absolutely no remorse for what she'd just done.