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Author's Chapter Notes:
Yay an update! Been doing lots of stuff lately, and cowriting with Mel...*evillest of evil grins* Oh yeah baby that's gonna be interesting. I reworked my outline and the story ends around chapter 49 so only 20 more chapters!! But you won't have to wait 20 chapters until the wedding, that is coming up...SOON! Enjoy and I can't wait to hear from all of you!
Chapter Twenty-Nine: Touring Package

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Alyssa Narrating:

Holy God my mother has a lot of stuff. I never really realized growing up how much stuff we really ever had in the house at one time. And now helping her move? Yikes I'm glad I had my siblings and Nick there to help. Without them I doubt I would have been able to do it. I do have to admit it was a hell of a good time. And I learned that both myself, Clark and Olivia are very type A personalities. We set up an assembly line of sorts. Nick would bring up a pile of stuff. Mary and Olivia would sort and wrap with bubble wrap (which do not allow Clark or myself to touch because we start popping it and before long the whole roll is deflated) and then I would take and box it and label the box then Clark would take it out to the garage to be loaded onto  the truck.

It took everyone about 4 hours to pack the entire house. We took about 8 hours though, just taking a break here and there for Lori to make lunch for us and for all of us to sit around and reminisce a bit about the house. Mom thought it was great that all of us had come out. Her children and their significant others. She even got a little misty once we finished packing and sat around the empty living room eating Chinese food on the floor.

It was really nice to just sit there and see my siblings interact with their loved ones. Olivia and Angela's constant glow about being pregnant. To see Clark really show how much he loves Lori not through words but just by his own body language and how he smiles at her and Jamie with such pride and adoration. It's rather endearing to see them so happy and then to see Mom, watch them, she gets this happy look on her face but you can tell she's a little sad that Dad isn't there to witness it with her.

I think that's why she's a little happy about the move. Being just an hour or so away from Olivia and then once Nick and I move up to Monterey we'll be just about an hour from her as well. It'll definitely make the whole living alone thing much easier on her. Especially when Nick and I start a family and Olivia and Angela have their baby.  It will be nice to have her closer to home even though I have had my issues with her giving up my childhood home. But I've realized that it's for the best and I was able to feel okay about her moving.

Nick and I continued to help her once everyone else had gone back to his or her jobs. The moving company drove the large truck that carried all the furniture and major boxes to her new home and we drove her and all her clothes and personal effects with us. It was nice taking a road trip with my mom and my fiancé. Nick seemed to really enjoy it, he and Mom got some time to bond.

Funny thing was, is that it was Nick's idea. We'd flown out to Scottsdale instead of driving this time, at the time I didn't really think anything of it. But I guess that was his plan all along to help my Mom out. She definitely appreciated the help from all of us just for helping her pack up the house in the first place. But then for Nick to offer to help drive her out to Palo Alto was a nice touch as well.

I think partially he wanted an excuse to see our house. The main frame of the buildings are up, the house and guesthouse, the main foundations and the beginnings of the plumbing. We got a chance to walk around it a little, and talk to the foreman. It's amazing to just visualize where I'm going to put the piano, the bookcases, all our furniture and pictures. You wouldn't think that you could get such a clear mental image of things from just the barebones framework of the home but really it's going to be amazing once it's completed.

Things are happening so rapidly now, our house is being built, our wedding is getting underway, and hell my own best friend is becoming a mom. I'll admit I'm a little envious of Kellie and AJ to be at that stage in their pregnancy where life is just rolling along. She hates being as big as a house as she calls it. But she's really not all that big, just a little rounder. It's exciting though, to see her transform and really begin to fully feel the emotional weight of becoming a mom, even though her son isn't here yet.

And come to think that she's due in April, right before the wedding in May. I know it sounds wrong but I'm happy that we planned it that way, she'll at least be happy about fitting into her bridesmaid dress by then.  It's nice to see Alex and her so happy and settled, their elopement was a perfect idea for them. A real wedding like Nick's and mine where it would be set in advance and planned would allow them both to get antsy, cold feet and probably break it off before it even happens.

So much is going on this year already and it's only almost the end of January. Which speaking of January, Nick's birthday is tomorrow. Is it bad that I'm out shopping for his present right now?

I know, I know I'm a horrible fiancée, but come on I've been a little busy so I'm getting very small presents for him this year, besides he'll get a better gift at Valentine's Day and our wedding so I think this won't make a hill of beans difference. Now to decide whether or not to buy him some clothes or something. It's really gotten to a point into our relationship where I have no fucking clue what to get him for his birthday. Normally it's just something small, sentimental you know? But even I have no idea what to get him anymore.

Oh well I guess I have about 12 hours to figure that out.

End Narration.
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Alyssa grinned as she quietly snuck into the master bedroom seeing that Nick was still quite sound asleep, on his stomach, his bare back showing in stark contrast against the white sheets. She placed the large food tray down on its legs near his side of the bed at the foot of it. She sat down next to him finding his feet poking out of the sheets. She ran her fingers lightly over the instep of his foot making it recoil at the ticklish sensation. She heard a low groan emanate from underneath his head and she smirked and trailed her fingers up the back of his calf making him turn to stop her from tickling him further.

"It's too early..." He growled wanting more sleep, having been jet lagged and thoroughly exhausted from not only the trip to Hawaii the week before but also that tour rehearsals had begun just a few days before. His eyes adjusted and he looked at her seeing the short yet slightly loose pewter silk blouse that was strategically buttoned to show off the black lace bra and matching underwear. "Well...to what do I owe this wake up call?" He asked sleepily smiling at her.

"Silly boy...doesn't even remember his own birthday..." She mused with a coy grin. She stood up and brought the food closer. "I figured good old fashioned breakfast in bed would make you feel better from all that rehearsing."

Nick grinned and sat up not bothering with moving the sheet since he was black boxer briefs. Alyssa snickered at him and pulled up the portion on the tray that could disconnect and be used on a bed. Nick looked at the food and smiled seeing all of his favorite things, egg white omelets with bacon, toast and of course a heaping bowl full of cookie crisp cereal dry with no milk added. "I love you." He said taking her arm and pulling her around the tray to sit next to him. "Share with me? I don't think I could eat all of this stuff."

Alyssa smiled and nestled herself next to him as they munched on the food she'd prepared for them. "So how's it feel to be 28?" She asked as she took a long drink of her orange juice.

He shrugged, "I don't know, don't feel any different. What do you think of me being almost 30?"

Alyssa giggled and nipped at his jaw line after setting down her glass. "Twenty-eight is not almost 30 and still even at 50 I'm pretty sure I'm still going to want to fuck you." She replied in between nibbles.

"Even at 50?" He said giving her a look. "That's 22 years away..."

"And your point?" She said holding up her left hand, "I may remind you that you're marrying me, hence I'll see you when you're 50."

Nick chuckled and thought a moment, "Weird to think that you'll be 46 when I'm 50."

"Yes and in my sexual prime so you better still be able to get it up or have a very good supply of Viagra." She retorted making him laugh heartily at her comment. "Besides in 22 years, we should have either teenagers or kids off at college hence we'll be alone for much of the day."

"Put much thought into this have you?" He asked smiling at her.

Alyssa shrugged, "I've been thinking about it and sometime after we get married, meaning within the first couple of years...I'd like to you know...try to start a family...again...if it's okay with you." She said rambling her thoughts.

Nick pulled her to him and kissed her temple. "Okay...I agree we should start after the wedding, whenever is your call since it's your body, I get to do the fun part then it's all you for 9 months."

She smiled and nodded, "Okay...so any plans for the day?"

"Aside from spending my morning with you? I have rehearsals then the guys are throwing a little shindig for me tonight at Oceana, you know the restaurant I invested in."

Alyssa smirked, "Ah so it's not to see your little harlot?" She replied dryly her voice dripping in sarcasm in reference to Emma.

Nick swung his arm snapping his fingers, "Damnit I was hoping to bring her home tonight...you know a new plaything for you." He shot back mimicking her sarcasm.

Alyssa rolled her eyes and sighed, "Okay, so when do you want your birthday nookie, this morning or tonight after the party."

"Can't it be both?" He asked keeping a completely straight face. "In all seriousness, I just want to hang with you right now, I mean yeah sex is awesome don't get me wrong but talking to you is even better sometimes." He admitted blushing profusely at his own honesty. He watched her face change from a sexy smirk to a look of complete adoration and it only served to encourage his embarrassment.

"Aww...Nick...I'm totally telling everyone you'd rather cuddle and talk then fuck me." She teased making him huff and turn even redder. She giggled and turned him to look at her. "I'm only kidding. I think it's really nice you like talking to me. Don't get me wrong I love sex too but this is nice...this whole open communication thing we have going. I really think we owe it to therapy for getting us to this place."

"Speaking of we're going again before the tour right?"

Alyssa nodded, "Yeah I just want to ask some questions on how to keep this going with all the stress we have going on. I mean last year at this time I was beginning to figure out I was pregnant with Noah and our world kind of crumbled after that and I don't ever want to get to that place again." She answered honestly resting her head on his shoulder.

He smiled and sighed, "I agree, definitely don't want this good streak we have going to end. So..." He began with a grin.

Alyssa gave him a strange nod and giggled, "So...what?"

"No presents?" He asked looking like a little boy on Christmas morning. She giggled loudly at him and pressed her lips to his silencing his question for the moment. He grinned into the kiss bringing his hands up to cup her jaw tracing the rigid bone up to the hinge. She shuddered and felt his tongue lick around her bottom lip sucking it into his mouth slightly. Their breakfast more than half eaten and forgotten on the tray Alyssa moved to straddle his hips sitting on his lap as his hands brushed her hair over her shoulders then drifted down the front of her to the few buttons that were done on the blouse. He made quick work of it shedding if from her shoulders and trailing his fingers up her now bare arms loving the smooth feel of her skin better than the slippery silk.

Nick stretched out his legs inadvertently sending the tray off the bed and onto the floor with a loud crash making them stop and look at each other then glance to the mess on the floor. Alyssa bit her bottom lip as her body shook with laughter. "I can't take you anywhere can I?" She replied letting her hands slide up to his neck gently grazing her nails against the nape. He grinned and felt her scoot closer to him grinding their hips together making him tense slightly.

"Shouldn't we clean that up? It'll stain the carpet..." He asked knowing that she wanted to take this much farther. It wasn't that he didn't want to or even that he was concerned about the inevitable stain on the carpet from the orange juice they'd kicked over.

Alyssa smiled and raised up on her knees slightly bringing her face up over his. "You think too much..."  She replied placing her lips upon his once more. His hands wrapped around her waist sliding up her sides to the lace material of her bra. She sighed feeling his hands run over her chest and at that moment she broke the kiss momentarily, "Happy birthday lover..." She said keeping her voice soft and low barely above a whisper.

Nick backed away as she moved forward to kiss him again. "Couldn't think of what to get me huh?" He said with a knowing smirk.

Alyssa sat back with a glance at him shocked he'd figured her out so easily. "That's not true, I did get you presents..."

"Uh huh...I'm beginning to think the lingerie is somehow supposed to be my present." He joked back.

She giggled and smacked his arm, "And if it is, is that so bad?" She asked.

Nick shrugged, "No...unless you want me to wear it then I think we might have a bit of a problem..." He replied increasing his snarky tone.

Alyssa giggled and retorted, "Damnit...I thought you'd be into that." She arched an eyebrow at him then finally moved away going over and picking up the tray as he grabbed a few towels from the bathroom. Thankfully not much of the orange juice had fallen onto the carpet and was being soaked up by the towel. "Anyways I do have a few presents for you, I figured though you might like a little eye candy with your breakfast is all."

Nick smirked and placed the tray and broken dish and all the remaining crumbs of food onto the tray before pulling her to him. "I know and it's one of the reasons why I love you. You always try to be the fantasy girl and I know it's because you have some messed up notion in your head that I expect it but believe me it's not an expectation."

Alyssa grinned looked at the ground picking up the soaked towels and going into the bathroom unsure of how to respond to him.

Later that day...

"Happy birthday bro..." AJ said with a wide grin. "How's it feel to be in your late twenties?"

Nick laughed and smiled sighing a bit, "Not much different than last year. Except I'm in such a better place now...with everything, the band, my entire life. I mean granted things aren't completely perfect. Alyssa and I still have things we want to work on before the wedding."

"Wait you two are still going to therapy?" AJ asked still a little shocked that even though they seemed to be doing so well that there were still some issues to work through.

Nick chuckled, "Yeah man, we're not perfect. There's some things we're still working on. Nothing extremely major but we're working it out. Like she's still got some insecurities I'm trying to get to the bottom of. And hell I've still got some too."

"Well isn't that about being human though? Hell I'm scared shitless about being a dad and my kid isn't even here yet. But she has insecurities? She's always so confident especially now since therapy. I mean there's still what happened last year and all."

Nick sighed and leaned his head back against the wall they were sitting against. He gathered his thoughts, looking around the dance hall seeing his reflection across the way from them. "She tries to be this fantasy girl. Like the type of woman who wouldn't say no sort of thing to any idea sexually. And I mean its great that she wants to be open to any ideas and all that but I think she's trying to hide something. Some insecurity about herself and our relationship that I'm determined to get to the bottom of." He explained. It was true that even though they had grown exponentially closer in intimacy that no matter how close they got, she always kept an air of confidence in the bedroom that had him curious as to why she felt the need to do so.

Just then Howie and Brian slid down the wall next to them catching the tail end of their conversation. "Trouble at home?" Brian asked concerned for him.

"Oh nothing major...just little stuff I'm working on with Ali."

"Yeah he thinks it's weird that she will do anything he wants sexually." AJ scoffed making light of Nick's situation.

Howie gave Nick a look and felt his forehead with the back of his hand, "Well he doesn't seem to have a fever..." He said jokingly as Nick swat at his hands. He laughed and watched as Nick shook his head at the three men laughing at him.

Brian chuckled and shook his head and Howie grinned patting Nick's knee, "Dude seriously that's supposed to be a good thing."

"Exactly, a green light in the bedroom what every guy hopes for so what's the problem?" Howie added.

Nick shook his head and laughed, "Not like that, I mean she's always had trouble showing her emotions, being vulnerable around me and all. I think it's just her old habit not wanting to go away."

"What do you not like it?" Howie asked trying to route out the reason as to why Nick was complaining.

Nick sighed, "No I love that she's open like that and that she can be confident. But I don't want it to be a false confidence, I want her to be able to tell me when she feels like shit about herself and be okay with it and own it. I mean I tell her stuff like this all the time and she has a real problem with owning up to me."

Brian chewed on his lip for a moment before speaking, "Well maybe she's thinking that she's not good enough for you, and that by being the fantasy that you'll never get bored and hurt her...or she's completely psychotic." He joked.

"But she knows I won't cheat on her. I mean hell I had Emma fucking throwing herself at me months ago and did I buckle? No I didn't...and that was when we were at a very low point in our relationship, if I'm not going to cheat then what makes her think that I'm going to cheat now when we're so good?" He asked countering their argument.

He thought of the year before and how much this conversation mirrored his own sentiments from then. In their quest for intimacy he realized that she had certain physical actions that were definite clues to the emotional angst beneath the surface. He noticed lately that she fussed over her appearance when they would be going out especially if the chance of them being photographed was higher than normal. Now while he knew that it could be just her own insecurity of not being the typical Hollywood girlfriend, still the simple fact that she was hiding it from him scared him. They hadn't been through months of therapy and emotional upheaval to revert back to their bad habits had they?

"What insecurities though aside from not being good enough do you think it is? Is she behaving differently?" Brian asked.

"It's mostly just little things. Like she's all of a sudden self conscious of her body and her looks and then I know she's not having an easy go of it at work. A lot of the faculty underneath her don't like her because she's a stickler and is like the golden child of the department because she's so young."

"Well fuck them. Sorry but I don't think she has anything to be insecure about, she's beautiful and smart not a lot of women can say they have physical looks with real substance too." Brian reasoned back.

"I agree, I get she's got insecurities but she's gotta get past that and see that she's stronger than petty shit that people sling at her."

AJ shrugged in agreement, "I totally understand where you're coming from though man. Keel's got the same sort of issues too. I think it comes with being a normal person dating someone in the industry or in my case married into it. It's a whole new can of worms and it's hard to deal with even years into a relationship. Also, she's a woman Carter, sometimes their emotions and fears lack any rational logic remember? Just talk to her about it and it'll be ok."

"Yeah I hope so..." Nick said standing as they all got up again ready to start rehearsal from their short break.

Late that night...


Nick sighed as he looked up at the ceiling breathing heavily as he slowly regained control of his breathing. He smiled as he looked over at Alyssa who was doing the same as he was just a moment before both of them laying in silence the only sounds in the room came from their breathing. He watched as Alyssa closed her eyes and smiled contentedly then turned to face him. "Good birthday?" She asked her green eyes returning to their normal color different from the light green they were just moments before.

"Great birthday...but you know...I still haven't gotten my present from you..." He said tracing circles on her abdomen. "Unless this was the present then..." He trailed off being stopped by her lips against his.

She broke the kiss and smirked at him, "Of course I got you something..." She replied then turned to the nightstand.

Nick watched her pull out a few books. "What no wrapping paper?" He asked with a grin making Alyssa smirk and laugh at him. He took the books from her and looked at the first one with a grin. It was a book on Samurai history in Japan, the next was a copy of 101 Greatest Honeymoon spots. "Care to explain this one?" He asked with  perplexed grin.

She sighed and grinned back. "I know this may come as a shock to you but I am actually releasing SOME control over to you for our wedding." Nick's eyebrows raised in recognition but he kept silent waiting for her to finish her explanation. "I want you to plan our honeymoon. Anywhere you want to go, we'll go. I figured that the book would help give you some ideas about plans and such."

He grinned again and kissed her sweetly on the mouth. "Thank you...ok onto the third book...Oooh Shakespeare." He replied chuckling like a little kid. He looked at the book seeing a book of sonnets.

"Turn to sonnet 148." She instructed with a knowing smile.

He flipped the pages seeing her handwriting gracing various pages making footnotes here and there. He found the sonnet she'd asked him to find and read it coming across line 12 seeing her notes next to it in blue ink.

The sun itself sees not ‘till Heaven clears -how you make me feel...

"What do you mean by this?" He asked wanting to know what she meant behind the prose and her own cryptic statement. He figured it had to be something relatively good since after all it was his birthday.

She took a breath and read what she wrote reacquainting herself with the words. "The line, the sun itself sees not till heaven clears, it has a ton of meanings to it. But the one I've always got from it is that the sun represents light and reason and the clouds in Heaven mean that logic and reason are blocked. And Heaven is generally thought to be bliss, happiness or even love. So basically it says that love clouds all logic and reason from your mind while in its presence and doesn't return until the object of your affections has left."

He gave her a sideways glance processing her words, "So...I cloud your judgment?" He asked thinking he got the right understanding that she was getting at.

She nodded, "In a lot of ways. Just I feel different when I'm around you. I almost can't describe it but it's just a little unnerving sometimes. A few years ago I would have smacked myself for being so into a relationship like I am with you. I mean I love having some independence from us sometimes don't get me wrong if I didn't have time to spend with my girls or at least go off on my own every once in a while I'd go crazy but I find myself just wanting to be with you all the time."

Nick tossed the books to the side of them and pulled her to him kissing her deeply. She smiled into the kiss breaking away from it. "I feel like that a lot too. It's hard to describe sometimes. And yeah I'll agree it definitely takes some getting used to. A few years ago you tried to give me Hamlet for my birthday - remember my reaction?"

"Yes you were like oh come onnnnn you expect me to read?" She replied mimicking his trademark whine exaggerating it quite extensively. He laughed and chucked his pillow at her smacking her in the torso.

Alyssa giggled and chucked the pillow back and went to punch his shoulder. He grabbed her wrist mid-punch and turned her around to lay against him as his arms wrapped around her waist. "But still even though I was set in my ways back then, I'm glad I had you to try to get me to consider new things like that."

"We seem to have that effect on each other..."

A few days later...


"So how was your holiday?" Dr. Pinksy asked looking at the couple seated on the sofa across from him.

Alyssa grinned at him and sighed, "Pretty good, a lot of stuff going on. My mom's moving out here to California. It was a little shocking but I'm actually kind of happy about it now knowing that she'll be closer by."

"It was nice to just be with my family. My siblings and as weird as this sounds my future in-laws." He said with a snicker threatening to break from his throat.

"Good all good. How have things been? Communication wise? Sexually and such."

"Communication has been pretty phenomenal I think the sex has been too. It just feels like we're being a lot more open with each other. I know there's still things we need to work on but at least we've gotten to this point right?" Alyssa replied asking a question of her own.

Dr. Pinsky smiled over his thick glasses and nodded. "So lets begin to focus on those. Are there any issues that you want to work on while on tour?"

Alyssa chewed her lip, "I guess for me really jus working on our communication for the most part expanding it a little."

"Anything specific?"

At that moment Nick decided to speak. "I have something specific I guess." He said diverting the conversation over to them. He tried to think of the best way to put it out onto the table for them. He looked at Alyssa glancing to his hands then back to her face as he began to speak. "Please don't take an offense to this but I know you like being what you think is the fantasy girl or something but sometimes I just want you."

Alyssa gave him a look and her brow furrowed in confusion, "But I am me...being that is part of me."

Nick shrugged, "Sometimes I think it's a wall. To keep me from seeing you from being vulnerable."

"You do that too though, might I remind you that you were all skittish when your knees were sore because you were ‘vulnerable'." She replied countering his argument.

He nodded in agreement, "Exactly, its something we're both terribly bad at. I mean look at our past relationships with other people. Did we really ever let them see us vulnerable? If we did it was only because they hurt us or scared either of us in some way."

"How can we fix that I mean isn't everyone a little skittish when it comes to this sort of thing?" She asked finally turning her attention back to Dr. Pinsky who was taking notes and grinning amusedly at them.

"Well a great way is to call each other out when you see it. For instance Nick when do you think Alyssa hides her own insecurities the most?"

"In the bedroom honestly...Don't get me wrong I love that we have the connection that we do, but it lets me see that sometimes..." He said looking at where their hands were joined and then up to her "Sometimes I think you try to be more on the adventurous side to get it over with."

"What?" She asked incredulously. "Get it over with? Why...?"

"Nashville..." He said making her face lose a little bit of color. "Yeah, you kept wanting me to speed things up...why? Was it just because you wanted to or that being that close scares the fuck out of you?"

Alyssa sat back for a moment and thought, "A little of both I think. I mean you have no idea what its like for me. I've only been with you, Brandon not withstanding. I mean I've had relationships before but nothing that ever got to be this serious, let alone having sex and living together...on top of getting married. I know I told you that I'm scared, and I am. I'm sorry if it comes out like that sometimes but I think it's just my own anxieties and neuroses coming in to fuck with my head."

"Well Alyssa, as we've talked about it's all right to falter with your own insecurities. I think now that you've realized that things aren't going to be perfect that you can understand what you both need in each other. It's rather interesting to see how you both really have the same insecurities, about each other, your careers and your future together."

"And that would be?" Nick asked he knew what he thought of his own insecurities as far as what they were discussing but could they really be the same for her?

The good doctor grinned and set down his notes for a moment, "You both fear you aren't enough for the other." He said making them both sober in expression and stare at him intensely. "Alyssa you're afraid that if you really let him see how vulnerable you can be that he'll eventually screw you over. Your experience also plays a major part in your fear. You've been with two men in your life, one that meant nothing  to you and the other you've given yourself to in countless ways. And it scares you that you've wanted to do that...to let someone have all of you is really a hard thing to accomplish or even really accept." He explained making Alyssa nod in agreement to his words. "And Nick, you see her accomplishments, her intellect and you feel intimidated by them both because of your less than traditional upbringing. You've told me more than once that you think one day she'll wise up and find someone better suited for her. You discredit your own intelligence because she has a more traditional intellect than yours. Secondly, you're afraid that your abundant experience with women will hurt your relationship. You know she still has a fear that you'll grow bored and cheat on her. You know you won't do it in the end and the fact that you resisted temptation in it's purest form is something to be said of how much you value your relationship with her. But really..." He paused taking a moment to breathe. "You compliment each other. Your lives were different growing up but it makes you appreciate the good that you had in that time. Nick you had the opportunity to follow your passion and Alyssa you had the loving support of very close-knit family. Getting Nick involved with your family during your friendship was the first step towards this stage in your relationship, and conversely taking her on tour with you back in 2003 allowed you to share your passion with her in a way she had before that time not been privy to. I really believe you two are beginning to realize that your friendship was no coincidence and that all it did was further solidify who you are to each other."

Alyssa and Nick glanced at each other only being able to meet their eyes for a moment before the intensity and brevity of the comments that Dr. Pinsky just made. "So what now?" Alyssa asked wondering what more they could do to get over the hump of their mutual insecurities.

"Well Alyssa, like you said, you want to work on your communication to keep it going and make it stronger. Then do that, when you're feeling insecure tell each other. I know it sounds like I'm telling you to whine about your fears and such but there's a way to do it maturely and the way you two are talking to each other, in here together and separated I really think you get that depth of maturity needed to have that conversation."