Chapter Seven: Seatbacks And Tray Tables
“So Nick, Alyssa did you work on what we talked about last time?”
Nick and Alyssa glanced at each other and grinned. “Yeah…we did the other night.” Alyssa stated as Nick tightened their connected hands rubbing his thumb over the back of her palm.
Dr. Pinsky looked at the two of them the happy content smiles on their faces holding hands and sitting hip to hip. Their expressions alone were a stark contrast to when they had first sat on that couch. “How was it?”
Nick looked over and nodded, “It was really really good.”
“Like I don’t think it’s ever really been that good.” Alyssa explained.
“Was the emotional connection there?”
“Yeah…in spades…” Alyssa replied.
“Yeah…I’d say so too.”
“Good, good you two are making remarkable progress. Is there anything you want to work on while you two are traveling?” He asked. Nick chewed his lower lip for a moment trying to stop himself from saying what he wanted to. He knew that Alyssa always has had a problem with complete intimacy. It was something he’d had to adjust to being with her. “Nick do you have something to say?”
“Uh..yeah…”
“You’re not happy with what happened? Did I…?”
Nick shook his head, “No that was amazing…it’s just I wish you were as comfortable with me as I am with you.”
“Huh?”
“With our bodies you’re not completely comfortable. You kinda do what you know makes me get off but you know you can try to do something different. Hell even just laying around making out is fine by me.”
Alyssa sighed and nodded it was true that she wasn’t completely comfortable with Nick’s body. She sometimes felt like it was off limits, or so she had convinced herself for so many years of being just friends with him. “Sorry…” She said modestly her happy demeanor now completely faded.
Nick sighed and turned to her, “I don’t mean it as a bad thing. It’s something I want to work on with you” He explained. “It’s that I need to be completely comfortable with you, and I need you to be as well. If not then why are we kidding ourselves thinking we could get married?” He asked.
“Are you saying…” She began to ask wondering whether or not he would like to marry her or not. It was a fear that constantly plagued her mind. Would he still love her if they got married? What if ten years from now he up and decided he didn’t really love her and chose to end it all.
“No….” He interrupted shaking his head. “No I want to marry you, but we need to be comfortable with each other completely before we can ever really be okay at being a married couple instead of just dating and living together.” He explained.
Dr. Pinsky nodded in agreement, “How about you two take this promotional tour and use it to gain that level of comfort. When you’re alone in the hotel at night, Alyssa I really want you to explore things with him. Not just sexually either. Just re-learn everything about each other physically and otherwise. And don’t be afraid to look at each other or ask questions that normally you’d be hesitant to. And when you come back we’ll begin working on it more closely.” He explained. Alyssa nodded as they all stood signifying the end of yet another session.
Nick and Alyssa got out of the office and headed for the truck getting it in and hoping they wouldn’t be too late for the flight that would be in less than two hours. Nick took in a breath as they headed for the highway hoping it wasn’t too packed with early morning traffic. Once they got to the airport they rushed through security and ran down the moving walkways knowing that they had barely 10 minutes to spare before the plane would be taking off.
Finding their terminal they sprinted down it to their gate seeing everyone getting ready to board the plane. All the guys laughed seeing the two of them out of breath from running through the large airport. “Nice of you two to show up.”
Alyssa giggled at Kellie as they walked onto the plane getting in their first class seats AJ and Kellie sat in front of Alyssa and Nick. Alyssa sat toward the window and Nick at the aisle. They looked briefly at each other and smiled. “On the road again huh?”
“Yep” Nick said with a grin taking her hand lacing their fingers.
She looked out the window watching as they taxied down the runway Nick gripping her hand just a little tighter as he breathing through the initial take off. Once they were in the air Alyssa felt his hand relax and she turned to him. “So we should probably set a date for the wedding you know.” She remarked nonchalantly.
He chuckled and gave her a look, “Trying to corner me on the plane so we can set a date?”
Alyssa rolled her eyes and shoved his shoulder. “No…just been thinking is all.” She replied earnestly. She had honestly been thinking about everything, from their relationship to the details of how to plan and pull of a wedding. She’d planned on talking to Leigh and Leighanne to get advice as well as having Kellie design or help her find the perfect dress. All she really needed was a date, a deadline to get everything in order. She knew what time of day she wanted to have it and that she wanted it to be a surprise for everyone. “How about May?”
Nick chuckled, “May? Like this coming May?”
“Yeah…like the 18th or 19th.”
“What if we have a show?”
“Well we could do that….or we could shock everyone and do it before the tour?”
“Like what January?”
“Yeah like the anniversary of when you asked me to marry you.”
Nick chewed on his lip for a moment. “Can I think about it and get back to you?”
“Yeah of course” She replied with a grin.
A little while later…
Kellie plopped down next to Alyssa seeing that Nick had went over to talk to Brian. “Sooo…” She began with a snarky grin.
“What?”
She looked her over seeing a bite mark on her neck, “Nice to see Nick still hasn’t lost his touch.”
“Huh?” Alyssa said looking up from her book.
“Oh come on you can’t possibly stay quiet about sex forever.”
“No but I just don’t feel the need to gush about it to everyone.”
Kellie sighed, “Still I miss talking sex with you. You always have the best stories.”
Alyssa sighed and marked her place in her book and set it down. “What do you want me to say? That it’s great, that I missed being with him like that? I mean come on it’s just sex it’s not like it’s the only thing we do when we’re alone.”
“Wow…” Kellie said sitting back in her chair. This was truly the first time she’d seen the complete change Alyssa had made. The change brought about by all the happenings of the past few months, and most importantly Nick. “He’s really changed you hasn’t he?”
“What? What do you mean?” Alyssa asked not knowing exactly how to react to Kellie’s comment and questions. She didn’t think she’d changed really all that much. But apparently she was wrong.
“Like you’re whole take on your relationship with him. It isn’t let’s see how freaky we can get. It’s more like you’re completely settled. You’re comfortable with him in your own skin around him too.”
Alyssa shrugged, “Yeah I guess so…”
“I mean look at you two, you’re so relaxed around each other now. It’s like you’re already married.”
Alyssa grinned and sighed turning toward her and leaning in. “You know he said that on the boat.”
“Said what?”
Alyssa took a deep breath and gathered her thoughts. “He said that he already considers me his wife that it doesn’t matter when we get married just as long as we do.”
Kellie’s eye brows raised in surprise. “Wow…so is that why you two are taking your time with sex and all that?”
“Yeah we finally did it the other night.”
“And…?” She asked with an excited twinkle in her eyes.
Alyssa blushed and grinned, “It was just really perfect. Insanely perfect. Even moreso the first time around. He took his time with me and had me take time with him. I just loved every second of it.”
“And what about after that, is it still really good?”
“Yeah we have this whole new connection that’s just so nice and relaxing. It makes me want to be more at ease with him.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well everything isn’t perfect you know, it’s not like we had sex and bam we’re the perfect couple. We still have a lot of work on our relationship before it’s where we want it to be. But the biggest thing is just being comfortable with him. With his body and all that. I’ve always been really afraid to do something wrong with him, or really look at him.”
“Why? You’re his fiancé I think that gives you the right to stare.”
“Yeah I know but it’s still really difficult to just let go and enjoy myself.”
“Does he know?”
“Yeah he brought it up at therapy this morning.”
“Oh so that’s why you two were late?”
“Yeah we had to squeeze in a last minute session since we won’t be back until after the album is out.”
“So is that working out really well?”
Alyssa nodded, she thought it was bringing them much closer, allowing them to say and do the things they’d always wanted to but were apprehensive because of petty fear and anxiety of what the other would think. If anything therapy was showing them that they didn’t have to be afraid to tell each other anything, they could be completely open in a reciprocal relationship without fear of rejection. It made Alyssa feel like she was finally ready to give him everything, the last bit of her indepence, everything she’d been holding back in fear that he wouldn’t love her as much. The therapy made her feel like he really did love her no matter what. “Dr. Pinsky’s been great. He really gets us, and I feel comfortable talking about our relationship in front of him.”
“Really?”
“Yeah he doesn’t judge or anything like that he’s just an extra opinion. I feel like I lost that with you and Lori. Especially since Brandon and then losing Noah.”
“How are you holding up with that last part?” She asked sincerely.
Alyssa sighed, “Better, it’s still so difficult and if I sit down to really think about it…I’ll start crying. Other than that, I try not to think about it much. It’s just so hard to think that we lost our child. But there’s nothing I can do to change it. It happened and we might as well try to make something positive come out of that tragedy. If we didn’t go into therapy we’d have broken up. I just wasn’t willing to deal with mine or his emotions and I should have. It was so heartbreaking to know I’d never get to know him. I’m just happy that Noah isn’t suffering anymore. It’d be worse if he’d survived and spent months in the hospital in so much pain being poked and proded every day. So really I’d rather that he not suffer than live through that just because I’m selfish and wanted to know him.”
“Yeah Nick was just completely distraught when your heart stopped and then when Noah died? God he was a shell. Like it was Nick on the outside but you could tell he wasn’t himself. I can’t imagine how he felt within 24 hours he lost you and Noah.”
“Yeah at least I’m still here.”
“But you’re different. A lot different than when you were pregnant. You’re less concerned with every detail and everything you just want to relax right?”
“Yeah, I learned my lesson the hard way I guess.”
Meanwhile across the way Nick was sitting with Brian and Leighanne. “So she asked you to set a date?”
“Yeah, I mean I’d like to wait until May but then we won’t really have much time to just ease into it and be relaxed. The worst thing would be for both of us to be completely stressed out about a wedding. Hell we could fly to Vegas and elope and I wouldn’t care. I just want it to be relaxing and not completely stressful.”
Leighanne grinned, “It’s gonna be stressful for her no matter what. Just get a really good wedding planner and they’ll minimize it.”
“Okay…I know she wants something small, nothing too elaborate or fancy. Just simple.”
“Wedding on the beach I bet.”
“Something like that, I know I don’t want one like yours or Howie’s coming up. Something non-traditional and relaxed nothing where it’s like a giant church and all elaborate.”
“So why ask us?”
“Because you got married. It’s just I have no clue what goes into a wedding and all that. All that matters is that she’s there and our friends and family are there. That’s all I really care about.”
“That’s a really good way to look at it. Talk to her about it and compromise. And whatever you do HELP her with the plans and decisions. If you really want something simple and fun for everyone then you have to help her with it. Give your opinion and don’t think anything is stupid or useless. It’s a one way ticket to a hell of an argument.” Brian reasoned. “Believe me I know from experience.” He replied with a grin.
Leighanne rolled her eyes. “Everyone says it’s the bride’s day, but don’t make it like that, it’s your day as a couple so help her plan and don’t say ‘pick whatever you want’ because that makes it seem like you don’t care.”
Nick nodded and took everything into consideration. He knew that they needed to start talking things over and really begin to plan everything how they wanted. He just hoped she wouldn’t get too obsessive over the minute details of their wedding like she did over everything else in her life.
Author's Chapter Notes:
WOO another new chappie! Hope you all love it! more drama to come!
