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Author's Chapter Notes:
Woo another chapter! I'm like a third of the way done with chapter 15 (lol Breathe Tri) anyways hope you like. Alyssa gets to go on Howard Stern for promotion of HOC2
Chapter Nine: Stern Promotion

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Alyssa Narrating:

It feels so extraordinarily good to be back. Back on the road, back to a point emotionally where I feel so much better than I had. It’s been so difficult with everything and now it’s time to focus on all the things that make me happy.

For instance, my career makes me happy. It’s hard with being in the limelight thanks to HOC and Nick’s penchant for winding up in the tabloids (and I’ll admit that sometimes it’s my fault too) but really I’m nobody. For some stupid reason people seem to think I’m someone special, that I should be a celebrity. However I’m the first to admit that I’m not a celebrity, celebutante or the Anti-Paris as a lot of the tabloids and even E! has started calling me.

The Anti-Paris title makes me laugh hard. Just to think that people are comparing her and I is ridiculous to me. I know it’s mainly because I started dating Nick a few months after she and Nick broke up. Well big whoop. She’s a two faced bitch. I on the other hand have my bitchy moments and bad days, but I at least try to treat people with respect.

Especially the fans. They’ve been there for Nick and I in so many ways. I can’t count how many emails on myspace I’ve gotten all sending good wishes and condolences over the last few months since what happened with Noah. So much so I started a blog to tell them thank you for all their kind words. Never in my life did I ever think that Nick’s fans would ever be so accepting of me, of our relationship to be so kind hearted. Frankly they still scare the hell out of me. I’m always going to be afraid that they’ll eventually turn on me. Yeah I’ll deal with it and let it roll if that ever happens. But I sincerely hope for Nick’s sake that it doesn’t.

Speaking of fan reactions they seem to be liking Kellie as well. I think everyone has taken a real liking to her since she and Alex finally decided to hook up. They’re sickeningly cute the two of them. I understand why everyone would say that about Nick and I back when we first started out. Honestly I hope it works out for them.

Kellie’s always been my best friend sometimes more so than Lori. It’s kind of sad how distant Lori and I have become. We used to be so close, the three musketeers. I guess people just grow apart over time. As for Kellie, she and Alex really are so much in love. It’s so nice to see Alex happy, see him so settled that I didn’t think was going to happen. Even when he was with Kaci he wasn’t this happy or calm.

Kellie’s reaction to the fans was pure intimidation. And really that’s what my first reaction was too. They’re terribly intimidating. Hundreds of screaming girls all willing to do anything and everything that the boys would and could imagine. Once upon a time Nick and Alex regularly indulged in those vices the many beautiful women offered them. Thankfully that was before Kellie and I ever got involved with them. Even now as I sit here on my way to my first radio interview ever for the up and coming season of HOC.

Yeah how in the hell did I get roped into this one? Well Juliette begged and Nick pleaded and well he has his own ways of persuasion that happen to work wonders. What’s even funnier is that I’m going on Howard Stern, yep the one and only. I’m worried that he’s gonna want to ask me all about sex and nothing about the show. Which I know I’m going to have to talk about sex, fuck it’s Howard Stern. Going on his show, you automatically know you’re going to get asked about sex. It’s a given. I just hope I’m not too boring of a guest. I won’t divulge certain things about my sex life with Nick. Like his size for example. I know that many backstreet fans have created rumor after rumor about it but honestly it’s not all that important. Yeah he’s well endowed big deal. You can be as big as Tommy Lee or John Holmes and if you know nothing about a woman’s anatomy then it’s going to suck no matter what size you are.

Yes, to me size doesn’t matter. I know easy to say since I have a man that most women would call “hung” but seriously even without it, he knows how to make me scream his name. And really that’s all that matters when it comes to the physical act of sex. If your partner can please you and you can please them? Then physically you have it made.

However, if there’s one thing Nick’s taught me, its that sex without emotional love and connection is just not what you think it is. He had his fair share of empty casual sex and while I’m sure it was fun for him but hearing him say that he loves me. Especially while we make love? God it’s just so amazing to feel him against me, inside me and really know that he loves me. Not some stupid romanticized version of me, but just plain old dorky Alyssa.

Let’s just hope the world is ready for the dorky girl next door.

End Narration.
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Alyssa laughed hard as Howard cracked yet another sex joke at his friend’s expense. “Alyssa, you’re one beautiful girl.”

“Thank you.” She said blushing brushing her hair out of her eyes.

“What was it like having the cameras follow you around all the time? Was it hard to find some privacy for you and Nick?”

Alyssa nodded and smirked, “It was very difficult to find alone time. We actually made a rule that after a certain hour of night they weren’t allowed in our bedroom so we could at least have some private conversations even when we didn’t have the energy to be intimate.”

“So Nick told us last year that he was the one who popped your cherry.” Howard stated making Alyssa snicker at him and laugh. “So it’s true?”

“Yes it is. I love him and I was taught to wait until you’re in love to have sex. And even though I was confused about my feelings for him at the time, I most certainly don’t regret it.”

“And you two were friends before hand right?”

“Yes I was there through every girlfriend and hook up all the way back to Debbie when he was 16. He’d dated her and slept with her at 15 but even after I met him they were kind of off and on. I never met her and from how she turned out I definitely don’t want to.”

“Okay what about Ashlee Simpson. Ashlee denies it but since you’ve seen everyone he’s hooked up with…”

“She may deny it but I was the one who saw her in his shirt in my kitchen the next morning. I even made her breakfast. This was back when he and I were roommates and living in the house we live in now just in separate bedrooms. It was while he was still with Paris and he’d just found out about her cheating on him. I was actually the one that saw her. I was in Australia for a soccer tournament for like a weekend and I saw her coming out of his hotel room with her. I had to tell Nick he had to know. I would have felt terrible if I had kept it from him.”

“So did she think you tried to break them up?”

“She broke them up by cheating on him and treating him like crap. If she would have been a good person and treated him appropriately then they would have lasted a lot longer. Now I’m sure everyone’s going to be like ooh why do you hate her. And I don’t hate her I just don’t like her as a person.”

“Would you ever be friends with her?”

“After what she did to Nick? No, I’m extremely loyal to my friends and Nick’s always been my friend first. I tried to get to know her when they first started dating and she didn’t want to be friends so I just stayed out of it. I’m not the type to screw with my friend’s love lives.”

“Even though you had feelings for him?”

“I respect him way too much to mess up a relationship of his when we were just friends. Besides I was so convinced that he would never see me as more than his friend and roommate so I just didn’t think it would ever happen.”

“But you’re a pretty girl he’d be nuts not to see you like that.”

Alyssa blushed and laughed, “I don’t really see myself as pretty or sexy or anything like that. I’m just a normal girl. That’s why when I was asked to do Maxim with the girls I was like do what? It was something that I thought I’d never do, and never had any plan to do but it was a lot of fun to play dress up and be a Bettie Page impersonator for a day.”

“Bettie Page eh? You know your pin-up girls then.” Howard remarked.

“Bettie was the ultimate in pin-up girls! And she wasn’t all skinny and emaciated like most girls in Hollywood are, she was curvy and athletic.”

“Moving on…there was a rumor that you had slept with Brandon Routh, the guy from Superman Returns. Is there any truth to that?”

Alyssa took a deep breath, “I’m going to be honest and say yeah it did happen. I had thought Nick had cheated on me, which he didn’t but I then got really drunk and slept with him because he was my friend and I was really stupid and wanted to get back at Nick for what I thought he had done. I just was completely stupid and drunk and ended up ruining my friedship with Brandon.”

“So was he drunk too?”

“No he wasn’t he had drank but no he wasn’t drunk I know that for sure.”

“He could have taken advantage of you then.”

“No because I knew what I was doing and I accept responsibility for my actions. I’m not going to place blame on other people. It’s not right to mess up and then blame everyone around me for what I screwed up on.”

“So what was Nick’s reaction?”

“He definitely wasn’t in a good mood about it or anything I honestly expected him to break up with me. But he had said that I wanted him to break up with me, which is true partially that I wanted him to be so upset that he punished me by breaking it off. We talked about it and we realized that neither of us really didn’t want that at all. We worked through it and I know I will never make a mistake like that again. You never really realize just what will happen until it does and you react and you mess up and then after that you just have to deal with the consequences and move on.”

“Is that what you brought to the show? A sense of maturity that yeah somethings you can’t change but you can change your future?”

“Yeah at least I hope I did. I love Nick’s siblings. They’re going to be my family too and so I feel like it’s important that I try to help in any way just by supporting them and being there if they need anything.”

“Are you close with any one of them in particular?”

“Leslie, she was my friend first out of the family and because of her I met Nick so I owe her pretty much everything. She’s a real sweetheart and everything. BJ is amazing and just now is starting to really get a hang on what she wants to do with her life and what she needs to be for herself. Angel is just the best friend Nick could ever ask for. She wants to really protect him and Aaron from all the crap that went on in their family.”

“Are you close with Nick’s parents at all?”

“No not the way I would like to be. I tried getting closer with his mom and it just didn’t work out. All the stuff that happened between his parents and his relationship with his mom has been really strained ever since. I know he would like to eventually remedy that relationship but I don’t know if it ever can be repaired.”

“So why didn’t it work out to be closer with Jane?”

“I don’t know maybe it just wasn’t the right time or something but our personalities are just so different that we don’t really get along. Like if she comes over again and Nick really wants a relationship with her I won’t object because it’s his mother. I would never force him to stay away from any of his family members. And when we do eventually try to have a family again I would like Jane and Bob to be involved in our future childrens’ lives. They are family to Nick and to me as well and I’d never deny my children the chance to know their grandparents.” Alyssa explained. She didn’t want to hate Jane. She was angry at her that was for sure, for all the frustration and stress she had caused.

“Okay switching gears, You’re a professor at a major university do you find the limelight tends to distract from your work?”

“It doesn’t distract me at all, honestly what I do for a living is what I love to do. I teach and it makes me happy to teach and just because I happen to be on a reality show or happen to have a celebrity fiancé it’s like I should be distracted and love the attention. It’s actually his career not mine that keeps him in the papers. I’m just an outsider to his life in the spotlight. Yeah it may cast my way occasionally but I don’t really care I could definitely live without it on my end but it’s just a price you pay getting involved with someone whose in the industry.”

“So sexually speaking…”

“Oh no here it comes.” She said laughing.

“What do you two do exactly? Do you two get all freaky and try new things all the time or what exactly?”

Alyssa shrugged, “That’s the one thing I actually don’t talk about much, its really private and all that. I’m not saying it’s not good because it is. But I just like our bedroom activities to stay more on the private side. It’s not like it’s porn star stuff going on all the time.” She explained giggling, “It’s just what we do is between me and him.”

“It must be good if you don’t want to talk about it.”

Alyssa chuckled, “You sound like my best friends Kel and Lori, we all talk about relationships and sex and all that but I guess it’s just I don’t need to talk about it. I’m happy with all aspects of my life right now. Even though Nick and I went through a lot this year we’re stronger than ever and I’m just kind of happy to be mum about certain things.”

Later that morning…

Alyssa sighed and tapped her foot. “You’re not mad that I was that honest?” She asked wondering why Nick wasn’t mad at her for being so completely open about her life and their relationship and past.

“Alyssa come on, how can I be mad? You didn’t say anything that I hadn’t already said, you were honest but not too honest where you were offering up details about us. It’s totally fine. And you did really well you kept the topic off of sex pretty well for going on Stern. Hell. No one I know has been able to be that classy on his show and not make him seem obnoxious at the same time.” Nick explained as they sat on the couch in the greenroom.

“Don’t worry so much Ali, it was pretty cool that you even went on Howard Stern and weren’t asked if you liked anal sex.” Kellie remarked making everyone in the room crack up laughing.

Alyssa rolled her eyes and played with the ends of her tee-shirt. “I’m just nervous the fans are going to think I’m some attention whore now.”

“Since when do you care what the fans think?” Kellie quipped reminding her that she never cared what the fans thought of her.

“True. I don’t care what they think it’s just I’ve never given myself or them the impression that I am in the spotlight and it’s just hard with doing the stupid Maxim shoot back in February and then this whole I helped with promotion of the show stuff it’s just kind of an oxymoron don’t you think? I don’t want to be in the spotlight yet here I am.”

Nick sighed and wrapped his arms around her, “Well you don’t have to do anything more than what you’ve done.”

“Sounds like a plan to me, I just want to focus on my career and our relationship.”

“Yeah I get what you mean, I can’t imagine being thrust so much into the spotlight as much as you have.” Kellie added.

“Yeah and it just irks me to think that none of this was by my choice. If I had anything to say about it I would be away from it all and not have to be in any of it. But it just didn’t work out that way I guess. I just would not like to be judged and said that I’m with him for the fame when I don’t even want it.”


Chapter End Notes:
Tri thanks so much hon for beta reading for me!