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Author's Chapter Notes:
Here's the next chapter. It was either give you a short one, or a very long one in which would take longer to get posted...so I decided to go with the short one and save the important chapter for the next one.
Enjoy :-)
Chapter Eighteen

“What do you and AJ need to talk to me about baby? What’s going on?” Nick questioned his girlfriend for the third time that morning. After breakfast everyone had gone off to do their own thing and Nick and Ava got the two of them and Jade ready for the day before sending her off with Brian and Raven, who with the company of Demyan, took the kids downstairs for milkshakes.

Ava told Nick that she and her brother needed to tell him about something important, and ever since she did he has noticed her getting quieter and stressed out by the minute. She glanced at him through the mirror amidst putting her makeup away, before going back to what she is doing, but otherwise didn’t answer his question.

He walked up behind her and slid his arms around her waist and kissed the back of her neck softly while she leaned back against him. He watched her closely through the mirror and noticed that look in her eyes that she often gets when she’s afraid she’s going to lose him. Nick gently turned her around to face him and cradled her face in his hands before looking into her beautiful chocolate brown eyes that she had used black eyeliner and mascara to bring them out with and match her black mini dress with long sleeves that adorned a brown belt around her waist and black ankle boots with heals. To complete her outfit, she had pulled her hair up in a half ponytail and curled the ends of it and she was wearing her vintage gold chain link necklace that Nick had given her for Christmas one year.

“I’m about to give you a very big part of me that no one but my mother and my brother know about…and I’m scared to death, Nicky” She told him softly.

“Whatever it is just know that I love you and I’m not going anywhere baby girl,” He reassured her gently, idly letting his fingers cascade through her soft brown curls. Ava gazed up at him in silence for a few moments, before sliding her arms around him and resting her head against his shoulder and he felt her put a death grip on him.

She wants very badly to believe him, but she has endured cruel words thrown at her and watched people walk out of her life upon hearing what she’s been through and Nick is the most important person in her life. He befriended her and loved her during a very hard time in her life when no one else would and made life okay again.

He is her rock and she won’t be able to handle it if he leaves her. Nick planted a soft kiss on her forehead and gently steered her out of the bathroom and out of their room just on time to see AJ entering the room from his own hotel room. He took one look at the fragile state that his baby sister is in, and his heart ached. He walked over and sat on the couch causing Nick to bring her over there too and as soon as he did, she pulled away from him and went over and sat next to her brother. If she loses everything important to her, her brother is going to be the only thing that she’ll want besides Nick back. Nick sat down on the couch across from them and looked at AJ.

“What’s going on J? She’s been in this fragile state all morning.”

“Ava and I both have been keeping a secret from you for the past ten years. Mom convinced me that it’s about time we clued you in on it now that you two are in a relationship. Especially since she vowed to you and herself that she wouldn’t keep anything from you anymore,” AJ began and Ava snuggled close to his side and rested her head against his shoulder, causing him to wrap an arm around her.

“Okay…so what’s the secret then?” Nick questioned while eyeing Ava with nothing but love and concern in his eyes. He hates it that she’s so scared and fragile and wants nothing more than to pull her into his arms and reassure her, but he recognizes that she needs her brother right now.

“You and everybody else who knows me are well aware of how I feel about our father…” AJ began after silently searching for a way to go about this. Nick nodded his head in response. AJ has never kept his anger toward his father secret from anybody, but he also knows it affected Ava too, he’s just never known how much and nobody in the McLean family ever talked about it.

Was he finally going to find out? “Well his abandonment affected Ava greatly too…I guess you can say more so than it did me, and if you are going to be in a relationship with her, you’re going to have to know everything that goes into protecting her.” Nick once again nodded, refraining from telling AJ to just spit it out already. “She really took it hard growing up because it was right after she was born that he walked out.”

“Alex basically became the man in my life even though he was only five years older than me. I clung to him everywhere he went,” Ava spoke up softly and Nick noticed her eyes fill up with tears. She had deliberately chosen waterproof makeup this morning, but knowing her she is probably going to spend some more time in the bathroom fixing it later.

“I did my best to make everything okay for her and make it so she didn’t ever notice his absence, but she did anyway and developed abandonment issues very young in her life. As she got older and started going to school she was a very shy and quiet girl. She got bullied and would come home crying every day – she didn’t have a single friend in the whole school. She was miserable, and with the added abandonment issues, she eventually fell into a depression and would become very withdrawn from even mom and me. We were concerned about her of course and watched her closely all the time and I took her everywhere I went – even more so than I already did. She would barely talk to even me anymore. When she was eight years old, I was home watching her while mom was out. I turned my back for a minute…just a minute” AJ had to stop talking right then and was visibly working very hard to keep his emotions at bay and Ava took his hand into hers and squeezed it. When he managed to succeed in controlling his emotions he continued.

“When I turned around and found her gone, I went into straight up panic mode. I searched for her everywhere, and by the time I found her, my eight year old baby sister who didn’t quite know how to swim yet and knew perfectly well that she wasn’t allowed near that pool without me or mom was floating face first in the swimming pool.” AJ once again took a few moments to gather his emotions, and when he did he went on. “I pulled her out of the pool, managed to dial 911 and perform CPR and by the time paramedics came she was breathing but they of course still rushed her to the hospital.”

“At first they believed I was just being a kid and acting up” Ava spoke up again. “They let it go and when I was okay enough, mom and J brought me home. When they thought I was tucked in my bed for the night, I snuck some of mom’s sleeping pills into my room, planning to carry out what Alex prevented earlier that day…”

“Luckily I was worried about her and went in to check on her. I found her lying on the floor with the pill bottle next to her, passed out” AJ explained tearfully. “She was rushed to the emergency room for the second time that night; thankfully they were able to revive her...”

“Obviously they deemed me unstable and put me in a psychiatric hospital after that” Ava added softly.

“I spent every single day, all day, in that hospital with her and saw to it myself that she pulled out of this,” AJ added. “When she did and was well enough to go back to school, everybody in that school knew what had happened to her and it gave the little shits more reason not to talk to her and pick on her. By the time Backstreet Boys came into the picture, I convinced mom that it would be best for her if we pulled her out of school and home schooled her on the road and it really was the best thing that we did for her.”

“I met you,” Ava informed tearfully and Nick once again noticed that fear of losing him in her eyes. “The one person in the whole world who wanted to be my friend…you made life worth living again. Alex and I agreed that it would be a new start and that dark part of my life would remain buried forever. I didn’t want you to know about it because I was scared to death you would be just like those kids in school and say awful things and shut me out of your life…”

“Baby, get over here…” Nick insisted in a slightly incredulous tone. When she didn’t move and continued to sit there looking terrified, he reached out and took her hand into his and gently pulled her into his lap and hugged her close to him protectively. After a few seconds, she snuggled into him and rested her head against his shoulder. He kissed her forehead lovingly. “I’m not going anywhere…if anything the only thing that hearing your story does, is make me want to hold you and love you even more.”

“When you stopped talking to me for those two weeks back at home it was the longest two weeks of my life,” she confessed softly. “You can’t shut me out like that – ever. You’re my rock, Nicky…” Nick hugged her even tighter and rested his forehead against hers.

“I’m sorry sweetheart…if I had known what kind of damage that was doing to you I never would have treated you that way.”

“And that’s why I got pissy with you and wouldn’t give you a break no matter how many times Brian insisted you deserve it” AJ spoke up again. “If I seem over protective of her sometimes, now you know why. I know she hurt you when she rejected you, but all I saw was her slipping back into that depression the more you ignored her and it terrified me.”

“I swear to god Aje, if I had known I never would’ve ignored her. I still would’ve been hurt, I’m not taking that back, but I would’ve handled it better.”

“That’s why I’m telling you all of this….now that you two are in a relationship, you are the one who is going to be there to protect her if god forbid she should ever relapse.”

“I haven’t thought of killing myself since I was eight years old, Alex…I’m fine” Ava insisted and she looked up at Nick. “Nicky has been my whole world since the moment he came into my life,” She added looking up at him and he smiled softly. She knows hearing her say that means everything to him. “And that world got bigger the moment our daughter was born.” Nick placed his hand to her cheek and brushed his lips lightly over hers.

“Still, I’m always going to worry about you. You are my baby sister Ava, it’s my job.”

“And I’m glad you two told me,” Nick added. “I want to know everything about you, there can’t be anymore secrets between us. That’s not how our relationship and friendship works. So if there is anything else I should know, now would be a perfect time to tell me.”

“That’s all, I promise” Ava insisted and he rested his forehead against hers and looked into her teary eyes. “You know everything there is to know about me.” Nick gently brushed her tears away.

“That dark part of your life can still remain buried, sweetheart. We don’t have to speak of it ever again if you don’t want to. It’ll just be between the four of us.”

“I’d like that,” Ava insisted and she gazed up at him with so much love in her eyes and he tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. Just as he had, Denise walked into the room and eyed them all.

“Is the discussion still going on?” She asked carefully.

“No, we’re done” Ava responded while snuggling deeper into Nick. “Are we sure we can’t take Nicky with us?” She asked and Nick chuckled softly.

“I think the fans would have a bit of a problem with that sweetheart” He told her gently. “But I will see you right before I go onstage for the concert. Q needs to be back by then but insists on accompanying you and the new security your first time out.” Ava suddenly looked amused.

“Doesn’t he need to protect Alex during the sound check too? I’m sure they’re all just as rabid then as they are during the concert,” She teased.

“He’s trusting Mike, Josh, Drew, and Brendon to hold up the fort while he is gone.”

“I see,” Ava responded with a small smile, and she cradled his face in her hands and rubbed her nose lightly over his for an Eskimo’s kiss. “Well I will be there for your concert because I can’t miss out on your first concert, but as soon as it’s over, I want either Demyan or Stefan to bring me back here. So I will meet you here okay?”

“What for?” Nick asked, raising his eyebrow.

“Oh you know….shopping can wear a woman out,” she told him with a secret smile that he recognized. “Jade and I will probably need a nap.”

“You know you can never keep it from me when you are up to something, woman…spill.”

“I’m not up to anything,” Ava insisted innocently. “Shopping is tiresome, that’s all.” Nick laughed and rolled his eyes, but otherwise let it go. He tightened his arms around her and kissed her softly.

“Well, your mom is waiting, so I better let you get to it then. I love you baby,” He told her gently. “Have fun okay?”

“I will,” Ava told him, looking into his blue eyes as he rested his forehead against hers. She doesn’t know how she is going to survive an entire afternoon without him. She will definitely be watching the show, that’s for sure. There is no missing out on seeing Nick do what he loves doing best in the world, he gets so passionate and into it. But that means she is going to have to con Brian into keeping him out longer than necessary if she is going to get what she has in store for him set up. Managing to pull away from him, she crawled out of his lap and went into their room to grab her backpack and when she was set she kissed her brother on the cheek and then allowed her mother, Stefan, and Q to escort her downstairs to get Jade and Demyan.
Chapter End Notes:
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