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As the door closed Kevin pulled me too him. I was so nervous.

“You cold darlin?” he could feel me shiver as his hands touched my skin.

“No” I said looking up into the green eyes. I could see the love and passion flickering with the lights of the fireplace.

“Want something to drink” he started to walk towards the kitchen.

“Yeah, that would be nice. Kevin?”

“Yeah” He turned back towards me.

“I’m gonna go change, ok?”

“Sure, I’ll just wait for you over by the fireplace, wine ok?”

“Yeah” I reached up and kissed him gently on the lips. I began to walk towards our bedroom. Oh god. This was it. I was alone with him and we were married. I knew that I wanted to make love to Kevin but I was so scared. He was experienced and I was still a virgin. “Please God, don’t let me let him down,” I prayed as I closed the bedroom door behind me. I walked to the bathroom and unzipped my dress letting it fall to the floor. I scooped down and picked it up and carried it to the closet. I caught a glimpse of my left hand. Kevin had asked the jeweler that had created my engagement ring to fashion my wedding band as well. It was an eternity band that alternated in emeralds and diamonds. “I’m Mrs. Richardson,” I said to myself. I couldn’t keep Kevin waiting any longer. I went back to the bathroom and began to run a brush thru my hair. I brushed it until it shown like black silk. I slipped in to the silky nightgown. It was white, floor length with a slit all the way up to the thigh. It had spaghetti straps. The bodice was decorated with tiny pearls and sequins. It clung to every curve of my body. I slipped into the sheer robe that came with it and sprayed myself with perfume and headed toward the door. DEEP BREATH…. I reached for the doorknob and felt the handle turn.

I could see Kevin standing at the fireplace, his back to me. He had changed as well. He was wearing a pair of white silk pajama pants and no shirt. The fire illuminated his caramel skin and outlined his muscles. It took my breath away to see him standing there.

“Hey Boo,” I said shyly. He turned from the fire.

“Wow” he whispered.

“You Like” I spun around.

“No, I love” he held out his hand to me. As our hands touched a feeling unlike any I’ve ever felt shot through my body. He pulled me into his arms.

“Your beautiful” he whispered into my hair.

“Thank you, so are you,”

“Wanna sit on the couch” I could feel him shaking. Was he as nervous as I was?
“Yeah” he led me to the couch and we sat down, I snuggled into his side. We sat sipping the wine listening to the music play and watching the fire dance.

“This place is beautiful,” I said looking around. “When did you find the time?”

“I didn’t, Bri, Howie, Nick and AJ did when they came up to bring our things from the car. Remind me to thank them. I would’ve done the same thing, but I was a little busy today” His hand gently caressed my arm.

“Yeah, you did have something important to do today, but I forget what it was?”
”You forget huh. Well seems to me that I got lucky today?”
”You did! But I thought you had a girlfriend” I played with his pants leg.

“No, I don’t have a girlfriend” I could see the smile creeping over his face.

“Really, that’s not what I heard”
”Well, you heard wrong, you see I went and got myself a wife today”

“A wife, oh my, maybe I should leave” I started to sit up.

“I don’t think so darlin.” He pulled me into his lap and gathered me in his arms.

“Now that I got you I’m never letting you go” he lips crashed on to mine. I couldn’t keep my head from spinning, I had to pull back or I was going to faint.

“Kevin” I tried to speak, but my breath failed me.

“Yes darlin” just then I Turn To You started to play on the CD player.

“Dance with me”

“My pleasure” we stood before the fireplace wrapped in each other’s arms. Sharing kisses and looks of desire. I finally understood what Mama Ann had said about being in a place that no one else knows exists.

“Kevin”

“Uh Huh” He stopped dancing and looked at me. Those eyes, those gorgeous green eyes. I could see the love that he had for me in them. I could feel how tender he was being with me, I knew what he needed and I knew that it was all going to be all right.

“Make love to me?” a tear escaped my eye. He caught it with his thumb and gently stroked my cheek.

“Are you sure, there’s no hurry we have all night”

“Kevin, I’m sure, I want to be with you in everyway. You are my everything, and I love you so much. Kevin, make me yours.” He lifted me into his arms and headed towards the bedroom. I had taken the time to turn back the bed before I came out.

He gently laid me down on the soft feather bed and climbed in beside me. His right hand holding behind my back while the other traced down the side of my body. I could feel chills each time he caressed me. He began to kiss me, slowly leaving my lips and moving to my neck. OH GOD, what was he doing to me? I had never felt so safe and scared at the same time. So loved and wanted.
”Cass”

“Yeah boo”

“I love you, I promise that I will take care of you for the rest of our life’s. Trust me, let me love you”

“I do Kevin, I love you too.”


Kevin spent the next few hours showing me what it was like to be loved by a man. I never knew that love could be or feel so perfect. He was so gentle and caring, always making sure I was ok. As we lay there in the early morning hours holding each other, tears began to make their way down my face.
“Hey darlin” he rolled up to lean over me as he felt the tear fall on his chest.

“Yeah” I tried to stop the tears.

“You ok, I didn’t hurt you did I”
”No Kevin, No. You were wonderful. Kevin, it’s just that, God I feel so stupid. It’s just that I have never felt love like that before. I mean so complete, so fulfilling, and so perfect. I never knew that I was capable of loving someone so much. I understand why this is so precious now. I’m so thankful that I got to share this with you. Thank you, thank you for loving me.”
”Oh babe, “ I could see a tear escape his eyes.” NO its me that should be thanking you, I too never understood how perfect this can be, how special and sacred. Tonight you shared; no we shared something that is beyond words. I love you so much.” He bent down and kissed me again.

“Kevin”
”Yeah” He rolled back over and pulled me into him tight.

“Can we do it again?” I giggled.

“Oh yeah, anytime you want darlin” He rolled on top of me. I pushed him up.

“What’s the matter, I thought you said you wanted to” He looked lost.

I stood from the bed and put my robe on.

“I do” I began to grab a blanket from under the bed.
”Then get back in this bed.” The sheet fell from his lap. I caught my breath.

“NOPE”

“NOPE, what’dya mean nope. WOMAN” He began to move.

“My husband promised me that he would make love to me under the willows on our wedding night and I intend to make him keep that promise.” I began to turn to leave the room. I could hear him behind me.

“Well all you had to do was say so,” He said as he scooped me up and headed to the front door.

We made our way to the stream. Kevin spread the blanket out under the tree. He was standing there in his white pajama bottoms. The wind slightly blowing the legs of his pants. The twinkling lights had been left on and gave a soft glow to the tree. The stars were beautiful, it was so amazing to see them above us along with the reflection of the full moon breaking in the ripples of the stream. Kevin took a step towards the stream allowing his back to be towards me. I walked up behind him slipping my hands around his waist. His hands held tight to mine and I laid my head on his back. We stood there in the silence just holding to each other, listening to the sounds of the willows blowing in the breeze. I began to feel him shudder.


“You ok boo,” I whispered.

“Yeah.” I could hear it in his voice.

“Talk to me” I said

“It’s just so amazing Cass, I mean this is all I’ve ever wanted and now I have it. I’m scared that I’m going to wake up and find that I’m dreaming”
”Hey, remember what you told me. If your dreaming then I don’t wont you to wake up either.”

He turned and pulled me into his arms.

“How’d I get so lucky” He asked

“You loved me Kevin, that’s all, you just loved me”
”Yeah, I do love you” He picked me up and carried me back to the blanket. We made love and lay there watching the sun come up over the ridge.

The next day we spent organizing the house and making love. It was so wonderful. We decided to take a walk up to Mama Ann’s that afternoon.

“Hey mama, you here” Kevin yelled out as we walked into the back door.

“OH My, the newlywed.” She came out from the living room. “Now what are you two doing here, you should be spending time in that new house of your” we both caught her grin.
”We love you to mama” He picked his mom up and spun her around and set her back down. I walked over and gave her a hug.

“We just thought we’d take a walk and come say hi” I walked over and snuggled up next to Kevin

“Oh well then, HI. You two want something to drink” she turned towards the cabinet and began to get glasses out.

“Sure” we sat at the kitchen table. She fixed the glasses and came to sit with us.

“Mama Ann” I looked at her and took Kevin’s hands in mine.

“Yes hon” She looked up at us.

“We want to thank you for everything. Yesterday was more than we could’ve imagined and I know that was mostly because of you. You made our day so special and I know that there is no way we could ever repay you.” Kevin’s grip tightened in mine.

“Oh honey, you don’t have to thank me. It was my pleasure. I never had a daughter so this was my chance. Besides, I wanted to make sure that you two had the wedding you wanted” She wiped a tear from her eyes.

“It was and more,” Kevin began to speak.

“Mama it was perfect because I got to marry Cass.”
“Oh Kevin. I popped him on the shoulder”

“NO I’m serious that’s what made it perfect to me, who I married, not where or when or how. Those were just the extra bonuses.”
”Your right Kevin. I felt the same way when I married your father.”
”Speaking of which, “ I reached for my backpack. Kevin looked at me not sure as to what I was doing.

“Here ya go” I pulled out the little white bible and laid it in Mama Ann’s hands.
“Thank you so much for allowing me to use that in our wedding.”
”What’s that?” Kevin asked. Mama Ann sat there running her fingers over the soft leather of the bible.

“This is the bible I carried on the day I married your father. Cass didn’t have anything for the borrowed part of her attire yesterday so I let her borrow this.” She held the bible to her chest.

“Cass?” Kevin looked at me.

“She offered and I was honored. Kevin it meant a lot to me to know that your mama believed in us enough to allow us to use that bible. I know that I should have told you I had it, but well, it was just so special to me and …” my voice began to tremble.

“No Cass, don’t cry, it’s fine. I just wish I would have known” He pulled me into his side.

“Mama, thank you. That means a lot to me too.” I knew that Daddy was there, watching, this just makes it a little better. We sat around talking about the wedding and the upcoming plans for the tour. We stayed and ate dinner and then headed back to the house.

“I’ll race you,” I said as we reached the clearing in front of the house.

“Loser has to scrub the winners back.”

“Your On” he took off running towards the house. I began to run and then slowed down watching him race towards our house. I just watched in amazement as that man, my husband headed towards our home. God life was good. I could picture him running around the yard with our kids and throwing them in the air. I knew that Kevin wanted kids and I knew that I wanted them with him. I decided that I would wait till our sixth month anniversary and ask him when he would want to be a father.

“ARE YOU COMING?” I could hear him hollering from the front porch.

“YEAH” I took off running. I made it to the porch and jumped into his arms.

“You lost” he smiled at me.

“I know, I wanted to scrub”
”Scrub away darlin, scrub away” Kevin carried me to the bathroom and shut the door.


The next few days we spent just being together. We would spend the mornings in the bed just talking about our future or making love. We would have picnic lunches by the stream. We were flying back to Orlando tomorrow so Kevin could begin rehearsals. We spent out last night making love under the stars and the branches of the willow tree. We always knew that no matter what the willow would always be our place to be together. Little did we know how special it would be to us in the years to come? During this time, Sarah had put out the announcement on MTV of our wedding. No interviews just a statement. That was the first time we met you Sarah.


We arrived in Orlando on the 1st of July. It was hot and steamy and the airport was so crowded.

“This way man” Jimmy hollered at Kevin.

Kevin took my hand and began to pull me through the airport.
”OMG, IT”S KEVIN FROM THE BACKSTREET BOYS” two teenage girls began to squeal.

“IS THAT HIS WIFE?” the other remarked.

“Hang on to me baby” Kevin turned and looked at me with seriousness in his eyes. This was my first experience of the BSB mania.

“KEVIN, KEVIN, KEVY” shouts were coming from everywhere. Jimmy was in front of us pushing his way through the crowd as it began to encircle around us. I could see the sliding doors just in front of us. Kevin and I were walking hand in hand with our heads down. Just then a girl pushed her way between Kevin and I. I could feel our hands slipping apart.

“This is the tramp that he married” I heard one say.

“Wow, I thought you had better taste than that Kevin.” Another shouted I began to lose sight of Kevin and the girls began to circle around me.

“Hey, Train, you need a real woman.” I began to get scared as the insults continued.

Where was Kevin?

“HEY” I heard that deep voice yell.

“IF you don’t stop this right now” He began to get angry. He broke through the circle and came and put his arms around me. My body was shaking and I couldn’t stop crying. I saw Jimmy pushing his way towards us.

“Here Jimmy, take Cass to the car.” Jimmy took me around the shoulders and began to lead me out of the airport. I saw Marcus heading towards Kevin. I could hear Kevin’s voice as we walked away.

“Now listen here all of you. Cass is my wife and you will treat her with respect. The guys and me have always respected you and all we ask in return is that you do the same.

I love Cass and if this ever happens again I will make sure that there will be no more meet and greets or stopping to sign autographs by me or any of the other boys. Do you understand?” I heard the sounds of sorry as I got into the car. I just curled up in a ball and began to sob.

“Now, I will not be signing any autographs today as I need to go check on my wife. Come on girls I’m happy, be happy for me.” With that Kevin and Jimmy made their way to the car. I heard the door open.

“Oh darlin,” Kevin scooped me up into his lap and held me tight.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t think they would do that. You Ok?”
”Yeah boo. It’s just, it’s just they don’t think I’m good enough for you.” I began to cry again.


“Oh babe, it doesn’t matter what they think. Your everything I could want and more.”

“I know that’s how you feel Kevin, but they’re your fans. I don’t’ want to interfere.”

“Hey, it’s ok. Quit crying. If they are truly my fans then they will be happy for me, Ok. They can either except you or find someone else to worship. “ He pulled my face up to look at him.

“I love you Cass” he gently kissed me.

“I love you too boo. Thanks.”

“For what?”

“For rescuing me back there”
”Anytime darlin, anytime. From now on Marcus will be with me and Jimmy will be with you ok. I’ll still be there for you, but I trust Jimmy to take care of you like your his own ok.”

“Ok.”

“Now let’s head home.”

When we got home I went to take a shower while Kevin checked his messages. I was going to have to do something to win over the fans. I wouldn’t let them hurt Kevin or the boys because they didn’t like me. But what? I would get with Leigh and Lisa tomorrow and see if they could help me. I closed my eyes and let the warm water fall over me. It was so relaxing; suddenly I felt two arms encircle my waist.

“Can I scrub your back”? all thoughts of fans went out of my head.