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The tour began in August and the boys were hotter than every. They had decided to tone the shows down and make them more intimate and involve the audience. Lexi and I traveled with Kevin on his bus and we spent the afternoons playing with her or sightseeing. Lisa had brought the twins and we would spend the evenings together while the boys performed. Leighanne would join us when we got close to Atlanta but she was trying to take it easy. The baby was due in November and she wanted to make sure that all went well. Howie and Susie spent every moment together that they could, no plans for any little Dorough's they were too busy spending time with each other. AJ and Cierra had decided to try living together. Cierra had given AJ a Yorkshire Terrier puppy as an anniversary gift and he went everywhere with them. AJ said they didn't need children that the puppy was enough to handle. Life in the world of the BSB was going great. The boys all seemed happy and confident. Kevin had decided to take up flying lessons so for his birthday I gave him a gift certificate for a full course. He was so excited. I loved hearing him talk about his lessons when he would come home. His eyes would sparkle more and more as he described the scenery. He talked about wanting to buy his own plane so he could take Lexi and I to different places. We enjoyed time in Orlando and at the cabin. The tour was scheduled to take a break for Thanksgiving and then again the second week of December and would resume on the 3rd of January.

We were all patiently awaiting the birth of Tyler Wallace Littrell. We all knew that Brian was so excited and so all the gang planned to have Thanksgiving at the Cabin with Kevin and I so that we would all be around for the birth.

"Hey Leigh, just in case you decide to drop that kid today. Can you wait till after we eat? The food sure smells good." Brian popped AJ on the back of the head.

"Now Bone, you be nice. If Tyler decides he wants to join us for dinner we'll be more than happy to have him." I smiled as I carried the sweet potato soufflé to the table. Leighanne looked so miserable and on the verge of crying.

"Hey Leigh, You ok?" I asked her.

"Yeah, I'm just so ready for this baby to come on. My feet are swollen. I'm in the bathroom every 5 minuets and hate the fact that Brian has to help me put on my shoes."

"Girl you're not telling me anything I don't know. I mean I would get so embarrassed when Kevin would have to help me get out of the tub. Talk about feeling like a beached whale." We both laughed.

"MMM" Leighanne winced.

"You Ok?" Yeah. This little man has gotten so active today. Can I help with dinner?"
"Yeah, come on in the kitchen and help bring out the dishes, we'll be ready to eat in about 15 minuets."

We walked into the kitchen and continued to bring out all the dishes.

"Man, I wish that baby would hurry up." Brian whispered to Kevin.

"He'll be here soon. Just be patient."

"I am, it's just that she cries all the time. I so fat, I can't do this, I can't do that. I've tried to tell her over and over again that I think she's the most beautiful woman in the world and I get slapped. I just don't know what to do or say anymore?"

"Wow, Cass only got like that when she took a bath. She had a hard time getting back out the tub and I'd have to help her. Sorry cuz can't help you with this one. But don't worry the baby will be here soon and she'll forget all about it."

"I hope so."

"DINNER IS SERVED." I hollered into the living room. Everyone came and sat around the table. The twins in their highchairs next to Nick and Lisa and Lexi between Kevin and I. We all laughed and had so much fun talking about the tour and how well the album was selling. We talked about plans for Christmas and even began to discuss plans for a big New Year's party. Kevin didn't seem to excited about a New Year's party this year, but he never said why. We cleaned the dishes while the guys went to watch the football game. Kentucky was playing and the boys had been so excited about getting to see the game.

Lisa took the twins up stairs with Lexi to take a nap, Cierra was snuggled up in AJ's lap claiming to be tired and Howie and Susie had decided to head back to the hotel. I was going to walk to the stream and place an arrangement on Scottie's grave; Leighanne asked if she could go. We grabbed our coats and gave our men a kiss and headed towards the stream.

"Cass?" Leighanne asked as we walked along the path down to the stream.

"Yeah?"
"Is it still real hard to come down here?"
"No, I love it here. I can talk to Scottie and if I feel like crying this is usually where I do it. I've gotten beyond the fact that he's gone and we won't ever get him back, but I can almost feel him when I'm here. Having Lexi now makes it a lot easier as well. She looks so much like he did."
"Wow, I don't know what I would do if something happens to Tyler."

"Oh Leigh, don't even think that. Tyler will be here soon and he's going to be wonderful."

"MMM" Leighanne winced again.

"Are you sure your ok?" I had noticed that all through dinner she had been doing the same thing.

"Yeah, just seems like he can't get comfortable."

"So are you and Kevin going to have any more kids?"
"Yeah, we want more. I was actually the one that asked to get pregnant the last time. So I'm just going to wait until he's ready and I know he'll ask. Only this time I hope we get a little more practice time in." We both burst out laughing.

"Oh, I'm sure there's a problem in that department, right?" Leigh winked at me.

"Well, let's just say that Kevin definitely knows how to satisfy this woman." We had made it to the stream and I knelt and placed the flowers on Scottie's grave. Leighanne had walked over to the willow and was leaning against it as I talked to my little boy. I looked up to catch Leighanne holding her stomach and making that same face again.

"Leigh, are you sure your not having contractions?" I stood up and walked over to her.

"I don't think so? What do they feel like?"

"Well, they just feel like your stomach gets really tight and like a bad menstrual cramp."

"Oh. Uhh.... I guess it could be?" Just then another one hit her. I reached out and felt her stomach.

"Leigh. I think we might better get you to the hospital. I think Tyler might want to join us for leftovers." I grabbed her arm and we headed back towards the house. The boys were all still in the den watching the football game. They were so excited, yelling and screaming at the TV. that they didn't even hear us come back in the door. Leighanne needed to go to the bathroom and I told her I would get Brian and tell him that we needed to go. I walked over to where he was sitting on the couch and leaned over his shoulder.

"Hey Bri" His eyes were fixed on the T.V.

"Hey Cass, what's up?" He didn't budge.

"Umm, I hate to interrupt your fun here. But I think that Leigh maybe in labor and we might need to get to the hospital."

"Ok, yeah. Sure. Be there in just a few." Just then the Wildcats scored a touchdown. The room erupted in cheers from the two cousins. Hi fives were flying.

"Brian" I said a little louder as I caught a glimpse of Leighanne walking back towards us.

"Uhh Huhh?"
"BRIAN THOMAS LITTRELL" Leighanne's voice broke echoed through the room. It hit Brian about that time what I had been saying.

"Oh Sh**" He jumped up and ran to Leigh's side. "You ok babe."

"Yeah, but I think Cass is right. We'd better go." The two headed outside and got in their car.
"We'll be there in a little bit ok guys?" We waved as they pulled away. I ran upstairs to tell Lisa. She was alseep on the bed with the twins and Lexi was in her crib asleep. I stood there starring at the boys and Lisa. Tommy looked just like Nick when he slept. He was wild, all over the place. Jamie had snuggled up close to Lisa and was sleeping peaceful. I was so happy for her. I felt two arms wrap around me.

"Hey darlin"

"Hey boo." I said as I turned in his arms to face him.

"You wanna go to the hospital?"
"Yep. I need to wake up Lisa, but she was so tired. She said that Tommy was up half the night with his 2-year molars cutting in. I hate to wake her."

"Well, Cierra said she and AJ would stay until she got up and then AJ and Lisa could come to the hospital and she would stay with the kids. I wanna go be there for Brian."

"Oh babe, of course we want to be there for them. Let me check on Lexi and we can go." We walked over to Lexi's crib and I straightened her blanket.

"Sleep tight princess" Kevin whispered and we headed back down to the living room.

"Thank you so much Cierra, I really appreciate this." I said as I put my jacket on.

"Oh no problem you guys are all close to Brian and Leighanne and I'm still the newbie of the group. I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Oh Cierra, your not a newbie, we all love you very much. In fact I think you're the best thing that every happened to AJ."

"Really?"
"Yeah, I'm sorry I haven't told you that before. Everything seems to be so crazy anymore. Really, please don't feel like you don't fit in. You're a perfect fit."

"Same thing I've been telling her." AJ came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her kissing her on the cheek. "But thanks Cass for emphasizing it for me."

"Anytime Bone, ya know I love ya." I hugged them both and ran to meet Kevin in the car.

"OH A NEW BACKSTREET BABY." I squealed as we headed out towards the hospital.

"OH LORD." Moaned Kevin.



We arrived at the hospital and found all the family in the waiting room. Nick and Howie were over by the coke machine. Mama Anne and Aunt Jackie were sitting side-by-side holding hands in the corner. Kevin went and gave his mom and aunt a hug. Brian came out and gave us the update. 5 centimeters and she had just gotten her epidural and then disappeared back to be with Leigh.

Kevin and I sat on the sofa in the corner; I snuggled up next to him and rested my head on his shoulder.

"Hey boo?"
"Yeah?"

"You ever think about us having another baby?"
"Sometimes."
"Really?"
"Yeah, but I'm having fun with Lexi, and besides she doesn't take up so much of your time anymore. I just not sure I'm ready to share you again." He pulled me closer."

"Yeah, it is easier now that she's older. Ya know we've hardly had any alone time together since she's been born and with the tour. Wow, when was the last time we took time for ourselves?"
"Too Long, ya know Cass I know that you were getting excited about the New Years Eve party everyone was discussing at dinner. But I was kinda thinking. I just bought the plane and I have my pilot's license, I've already talked to mama and she agreed to watch Lexi. How bouts fly away with me for the New Year?"
"Oh Kevin." I sat up and looked at him. "Do you mean it?"

"Of course darlin."
"Oh that would be great. Where would we go?"
"Well that would be the surprise, just say we can go?"

"I would love to." I hugged him. Brian came bursting out the door.

"HE"S HERE!!!" We all jumped up and ran over to him.

"He's so beautiful mama." Brian was talking to Jackie.

"Blonde hair and blue eyes. He's perfect. I can't believe it."

"How's Leigh?" Jackie asked.

"She wonderful, absolutely wonderful." He went back to the room. Two hours later we all went in to meet Tyler. He was the spitting image of Brian. So tiny and perfect, Kevin and I were standing over in the corner out of the way. Brian walked over to us with Tyler in his arms.

"Wanna hold him?" Brian placed him in my arms. He was so little and perfect, I snuggled him up to my face breathing in his baby scent. It reminded me of Scottie and Lexi. He was so beautiful and perfect; I turned and handed him to Kevin.

"Your turn." I said. I watched as Kevin held the little baby. I could see a tear in his eye.

"Congratulations Cuz." He said as he handed the baby back to Brian. He pulled me close to him. I could feel him shaking. I just held on a little tighter. We left the hospital and headed back home. Nick and Lisa took the twins and headed to the hotel and I took Lexi up and gave her, her bath. I put her in her pink zip up pajamas and pulled her long black curly hair into two pigtails.

"Teddy?" she said asking for her teddy bear Kevin had brought her back from New York.

"Here ya go kiddo." I said as I handed her the bear.

"Where's daddy?" She said, looking at me with those big emerald eyes.

"Down stairs by the fireplace. Why don't you go find him?" I watched as she toddled down the stairs to find her daddy. I cleaned up the bathroom and got Lexi's bed ready for the night then headed downstairs.



"Daddy, why you crying?" Lexi had climbed up in Kevin's lap. He was sitting in the recliner with his back towards the staircase. I watched as Lexi wiped Kevin's cheek with her little hand.

"Daddy's just a little sad princess."
"Why?"
"Well, I'm just missing your brother."
"Why?"

"Well, you know that Uncle Brian and Aunt Leigh had your baby cousin Tyler today, right?"
"Yes, mommy says he looks just like Uncle Brian."
"Yep, he sure does. Well, seeing Tyler today, just reminded me of the day that Scottie was born."

"Oh, but why does that make you sad?"
"I don't know princess. I just miss him that's all."
"Well, I'm here." Her little eyes glistening in the firelight.

"Yep, you sure are, did I ever tell you about the day that you were born?"
"Yes, but tell me again." I watched as she snuggled up in Kevin's arms and he wrapped her up in the blanket. I sat on the staircase and listen to Kevin talk about the day that Lexi was born. I didn't know that he had told her anything about it.

"Well, you see. On the day that you were born, daddy was so excited. He couldn't wait to meet you. But daddy was also a little scared?"
"Was there a monster that made you scared?" I heard the tiny voice ask.

"No, no monsters, I was just scared that something might happen to you or your mom. But then the doctor said that you were coming, and I saw that little face of yours. You were so beautiful. Your head full of black hair. When they put you up on your mama's chest. I couldn't help but cry. I just watched as you looked around, then you looked straight at me. That was when you stole my heart, and you still have it. Did you know that?"

"I don't have your heart daddy. I can hear it right here." He giggled as she patted his chest.

"Oh no, that's the heart that I live with, but you stole the heart that I love with. See I knew from the moment we looked into each other's eyes that I would love you forever. When the nurse was cleaning you up we just stared at each other. Your tiny little hand holding my finger, right here." Kevin took her hand and wrapped it around his finger. "Ever since then I knew that I would move heaven or earth for you. That I was always going to do whatever I had to do to make sure that you were safe and knew that I loved you."

"I love you too daddy. Daddy?"
"Yeah, princess?"
"Will you sing me a song?"
"Sure princess, what you want me to sing?"

"Will you sing Drowning?"

"Anything you want." I sat with tears in my eyes listening to my husband sing our daughter to sleep. I was so amazed to hear his story; I never knew he felt that way. I mean I knew he loved Lexi, its just wow there are no words to describe what I felt inside. I listened to his voice so soft singing.

"Go on and pull me under, cover me with dreams." I fell more in love with him with every word. I got up and went to our bathroom and began running a tub. I lit the candles and undressed. This could not have been a more perfect day I thought to myself as I sank deep into the hot water. I closed my eyes. I could see the picture of Kevin and Lexi in the recliner over and over in my head. I saw Kevin holding Scottie; a tear ran down my cheek.

"Hey darlin, you ok." I felt him wipe the tear. I opened my eyes to find him sitting on the edge of the tub in just his jeans.

"Uh huh. Do you know how amazing you are?" I said playing with his hand in mine.

"Why do you say that?" he looked at me funny.

"I just can't believe all the things you said to Lexi tonight."

"Oh, you heard us huh?"
"I'm sorry, I just got caught up in the story and couldn't stop"
"It's ok. She's just so amazing to me. Cass, I look at her and I see us. I see the love that we have for each other in a living breathing form. I just can't explain how she makes me feel every time she calls me daddy, or how I feel when she gives me hug, or when she wraps those little arms around my neck. God Cass, that's the best feeling in the world."

"I know." I took a deep breath. " Kevin, what happened today at the hospital with Tyler?"
"Oh Cass, I feel so stupid."
"Don't, please tell me."
"It's just that when I held that little boy I realized how much I missed Scottie. I began to think of all the things that Brian and Tyler will do together and I'll never get to do with Scottie. Cass, I love Lexi so much and I never want her to think that she's not special or that I don't love her. God Cass I love her so much, I'd die without her." The tears began to fall down his face. "Cass you and Lexi are my life and if I was to die tomorrow, I would be the happiest man in heaven. I have everything I could want and more, well, almost everything. I know that we can't get Scottie back Cass, but I do want a son. My relationship with my father was amazing and I wanna have that same thing with a son of my own. I must sound horrible. I mean I have a beautiful little girl upstairs that owns my heart and I..."
"NO KEVIN, ENOUGH. I completely understand. I want us to have a son too. I miss Scottie everyday and I love Lexi more than life itself, but somehow I feel that something's missing. That's why I asked you today at the hospital if you wanted to have any more children. Kevin I want to have another baby with you. I love you so much and your right when you say that Lexi is a walking and breathing testament to our love. She is that and so much more. But Kevin I want more children with you."
"Cass?"

"Yeah?" We were both crying by this point.

"Will you have my baby? Can we have another baby?" His eyes lowered down.

"Oh Kevin, yes, oh god yes. I want that so much." I grabbed him and pulled him into the tub with me and began kissing him. "But Kevin, we could end up with another daughter."

"That would be ok. As long as you say we can keep trying for a son?"

"Well now. That would mean that I would have to keep making love to you. I don't know. I might have to think about that." I began to laugh. "I could definitely handle that Mr. Richardson."

"Cass?"
"Yeah boo."

"Can I at least get undressed before we take this any further?" We both started laughing.

"Only if you promise to scrub my back"
"OH, I'll scrub your back alright, and then I'll make love to you all night long."
"You promise?"

"On my life." He climbed out of the tub and stripped off his wet jeans. We made love and connected on a lever that I never even knew existed, we fell asleep talking about the future and having another baby.