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Cass awoke and turned to find the spot next to her empty. She sat up and looked around. How could she have been so wrong last night? How could she have doubted Kevin or their love for each other? She trusted Kevin, why last night did it seem different. She heard the shower running. As she made her way across the room she knew that never again would she doubt her love for him or his love for her. There was no longer any question that they would be together forever. She eased the bathroom door open and could make out the outline of his body thru the shower door. He was so gorgeous. All six foot two inches of him. The muscles in his body moved gingerly as he shifted his weight. All those years of dancing and performing had tuned his body perfectly. Those big strong arms that held her when she needed it most, those long fingers that caressed her body, and yet could move across piano keys with such passion and intensity. Those eyes. So green that some days it hurt to stare at them, but yet always drawing you in deeper and deeper and that voice that could melt your heart. She longed to be next to him, to touch him. She wanted to run her hands over his chest and drive him crazy. She wanted to run kisses down his neck, to taste him on her lips. She slowly opened the shower door and stepped in.

Kevin had lie awake all night watching Cass sleep. God he had almost lost her. How could he have been so stupid? He should have known that she would understand. She always did. She loved him unconditionally and never questioned any decision he made. She was his rock, his source of support. He could see her in his mind. All five foot six inches of her. The way her black hair fell down her back, like black silk. She was beautiful but after the children were born she became more beautiful to him. He loved the way her hips curved just so. The way her skin felt so soft under his touch. The way she cried his name passionately when they made love. There was nothing in the world this woman could do that didn't make him love her more, a tear escaped his eyes. Nothing could ever keep him from loving her, her and her alone. She was the only reason he lived, she and the kids, he knew that death itself could not stop him from being with her. His body trembled as he cried thinking about what he almost lost, he didn't hear the door open and close behind him.

Her finger traced the muscles on his back, he moaned as their skin connected. She stepped closer to him causing the heat in the shower to begin to rise. As her hands moved around him, she caressed his chest. He turned quickly in her arms, wrapping his around her and taking her lips with his.

"God Cass, do you know what you do to me?" He broke away breathless.

"I know what you do to me." She whispered. " Kevin I love you so much. I want you to know that I will never doubt us again. I promise boo, no more running away." Her hand gently running over his shoulders massaging away the tension, Kevin closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of her touching him. His hands began to move up and down her sides, gently touching and exploring the body he knew so well.

Cass leaned forward and began to kiss his chest. The heat from her mouth making Kevin want her more and more, needing her.

"Boo?"

"Yeah darling." Their voices catching from the feelings they were giving to each other.

"Scrub my back?"
"Anything you want, anything you want." He took the sponge and began to lather her back with soap. Slowly he washed her entire body. He watched as she stood under the spray of water and let it rinse her, it was so erotic watching the water cascade over her body. She took the sponge and began to wash Kevin. She could see the muscles of his body growing tense from her touch.

"Relax Boo, let me take care of you."

"Baby, you drive me crazy when you're this close. I want to hold you and feel you next to me. I want to make love to you and never let you go." finished he rinsed off pulling her under the water with him. They stood kissing each other so fiercely, both needing to be closer to the other.

"Make love to me boo." Cass cried out. Kevin turned the water off and scooped her into his arms carrying her to the bed. He was so gentle, so loving. She was lost in the passion that they were creating together. She knew that this was the only man she would ever love. He gave her so much, always making sure she was happy and satisfied. As they lay there in the aftermath, Cass wrapped in Kevin's arms, she whispered.

"What did I do to deserve you?" A tear fell from Kevin's eyes.

"You loved me Cass, you just loved me."

Kevin and I purchased the house in LA so that he could do the musical for the next three months. The kids loved it in California, but my heart longed for home. I missed the cabin and the stream, and I missed Lisa. I called her as often as I could. The musical was fantastic and Kevin was receiving rave reviews. They decided to extend the show and travel all over; they took it to Canada and Tokyo. Kevin loved the theater and was so happy. I couldn't wait till March; we were flying back to Orlando to await the new baby.

March 17 2008 we got to welcome the newest member of the backstreet family. Howard Dwain Dorough, Jr. came into this world screaming, but he was beautiful He had chocolate eyes like Howie's. We all laughed at the thought of BSB part 2 now being complete. Dwain was a good baby and somehow we just knew that he and Xander would be the best of friends. The boys had taken the last year off and with no babies in the near future decided to start working on an Album. The would head to Switzerland in May to start laying tracks. Kevin and I had decided to spend the summer in Kentucky. We spent days riding horses and swimming in the stream with the kids. We always found time to sneak away and relax next to the stream at night.

Mama Anne loved watching the kids grow. It made her sad when we left, but she always knew that we would be back. The day Kevin flew to Switzerland, I sat on the swing of the cabin and watched the sunset over the stream. The more time we spent together the harder it got to let him go off. I missed his arms to hold me when I was down, or the way he would snuggle right up next to me when we slept. I felt so safe with him home and when he wasn't it felt like my world was collapsing around me. I had put Lexi and Will to bed and was enjoying the breeze when I heard the phone ring.

"Mrs. Richardson?" A voice on the other line spoke softly.

"Yes, this is she, who is this?"

"Mrs. Cassidy Richardson?"

"Yes, who is this?"

"This is Florida Hospital Orlando. Mrs. Richardson, your father has been brought here."
"OMG, Is he ok?" the tears began to fill my eyes.

"It seems that Mr. Nicholson has suffered a heart attack. I'm sorry Mrs. Richardson, you might want to get here as soon as possible."

"I'm on my way."

I dropped the phone on the cradle and ran to get my cell phone. I began to dial Kevin's number; I tried to control my trembling.

"Hey Darlin, miss me already." Kevin was laughing.

"Boo." I began to cry.

"Cass, baby, what's wrong, Cass." He knew there was something wrong.

"Kevin, it's....it's.....oh KEVIN." I began to cry harder.

"Baby, talk to me, is it the kids, are they ok. Come on Cass your scaring me."

"Kevin, my daddy's had a heart attack, he's in the hospital in Orlando, and they said I need to come right now." The words tore at Kevin's heart. He knew how hard it was to hear those words. The loss of his own father still stung.

"Baby, I'm on my way. I ‘ll meet you in Orlando, ok. Cass, call mama, she'll know what to do. Ok, Baby. Cass."

"Ok, Kevin, I can't lose him. Oh god." I began to cry. " Kevin I need you."

"Baby, I'm on my way. Please call mama. Ok." He was crying now. The other guys were trying to find out what was up. Kevin placed a hand over the receiver and told Brian to get him on the next flight to Orlando, he filled them in and had Nick call Lisa. AJ called and booked a flight for Cass.

"Boo, please."

"Cass, I'm calling mama, go get your stuff ready. AJ's got you a flight out in an hour. Go baby. I'll meet you there." They hung up and Cass ran to the room pulling things from the drawers and throwing them into bags. Mama Anne came running in the house and took Cass in her arms.

"Oh Cass, I'm so sorry. I'll stay here with the kids, you go. Call me as soon as you know."

The flight seemed to take forever. So many things running thru my mind, Lisa was waiting for me. I just collapsed in her arms and sobbed.

"Come on Cass, let's get going." We drove in silence to the hospital. All I could think of was what if I lost my dad. Could I bear not having him around? I needed Kevin, he made everything all right. I needed his arms around me.

I ran thru the doors of the hospital and headed straight for ICU. I was taken to my daddy's room. He looked so frail. The doctor said they had done all they could do.

"Daddy?" My voice trembling as I took his hand in mine.

"Hey princess." His voice was so soft. "Sorry about all this. I'm just so tired."

"Don't daddy, it's going to be ok. I just know you'll be fine." I squeezed his hand tighter.

"Listen to me princess."
"No daddy, just rest." I didn't want him to say what I saw in his eyes.

"Cass, listen. I want you to know that I love you with all of my heart. You and those babies are all that have kept me going since I lost your mother."
"Daddy, please, rest." I begged.

"You have brought me so much joy and happiness, more than you will ever know. Please make sure that Lexi and Will know how much I love them, and Kevin too. He's like the son I never had."

"Daddy, don't" Cass felt her knees go weak, as she leaned to kiss her dad.

"I love you princess"

"I love you too....."The long steady buzz on the monitor told Cass all she needed to know.

"DADDY NOOOOO." She collapsed across his body as the nurses and doctors ran in.

"We're so sorry Mrs. Richardson?" The doctor turned to Cass as he switched off the monitor.

"NOOO" Cass turned to leave and ran into the arms of the only one that could save her now.

"Baby, Shhh. It's ok I'm here." That voice. She grabbed onto Kevin and slid down to the floor sobbing. Kevin scooped her into his arms and walked over to the chair in the corner of the room. As the nurses and doctors left they closed the door behind them.

"He can't be gone, I need him. Please Kevin." She clung to his shirt, crying with all she had in her.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. I know how bad this hurts, but he was tired baby. Shhh. Please." The tears falling down Kevin's face.

"But he's my daddy, he's supposed to always be here."

"I'll be here now Cass. Sometimes, they just can't be." God how could he help her. He still grieved the loss of his own father. They sat in the silence holding each other and crying. Hours passed.

"Darlin, we need to go. Come on, let me take you home." He stood letting me slide down the front of him holding on so that I wouldn't fall. He walked with me over to the edge of the bed and held me as I kissed my daddy goodbye one last time. As we walked out into the hallway I heard the door shut behind us. I collapsed.

May 15, 2008 I buried my father. I don't know how I could have made it with out Kevin by my side, but all I knew was that Kevin was all I had left in the world. Kevin, Lexi and Will.