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“Jay Jay?” I spoke softly as I entered the room. He was sitting on the couch staring into space. It was almost noon and Howie was helping Nick make lunch. I really wanted to sit down and talk to him about my dad’s journal. I really wasn’t ready to talk with Nick about it but everything it was saying was starting to get overwhelming for me.

“Yeah, Bay Bay?” he turned to look up at me. Moving closer, I took a seat next to him on the couch. “What’s up?” I saw a tint of sadness in his eyes.

“Are you okay?” I narrowed my eyes as I looked at him closer.

“Yeah,” he slightly nodded and let out a long sigh. “I just miss Ri.” Riley is AJ’s girlfriend that I mentioned before, the one who puts a goofy grin on his face. He really does act like a love sick puppy. Riley and AJ have been together for almost 3 years now! I think she is that ‘someone’ my dad mentioned in his journal…the one who would, basically, save AJ from himself. She did, too.

“You love her, don’t you?” his head snapped up to look at me. I knew he did, but that was something that he and Riley didn’t say to each other. AJ sighed and looked me in the eyes. My mind was now on him, rather then the journal. There would be other times to talk about that.

“Yes, Bay, I do. Don’t tell her I said that, though. You know how she is about that,” he gave me a lopsided, but somehow sad, grin. Riley was the first girlfriend AJ ever had that made it this long and didn’t even live with him. She had a job, her own car, an apartment, and so on. It was very obvious why she was with him and it wasn’t because he had money.

“Why don’t you guys say it?”

“She told me from the get go that she didn’t want to hear me say those words because I use them too loosely,” he shrugged. “Ri knows my track record and, let’s just say, she’s not impressed.”

“But you’ve changed and it’s been for the better.”

“It’ll happen, Bay, whenever she’s ready. I’m not going to go anywhere,” he smiled slightly as he stood to his feet. I followed him into the kitchen.

“Why does he look like someone just ran over his dog?” Nick questioned as AJ flopped into one of the chairs.

“I’ll give you two words: Ri…ley,” I smiled as I sat down at the table. Howie brought the sandwiches and pickles to the table. Nick followed with the chips and condiments.

“Why don’t you call her, Jay?” Howie began dressing his sandwich.

“She’s working.”

“Doesn’t she have her cell? Or, you could call her at work.” Nick took a large bite of his sandwich and eyed his friend.

“She won’t answer her cell, if she’s working, and she would kill me if I called her at work. I’ll call her later,” AJ sighed as he played with the chips on his plate.

“So, how are we going to spend our Christmas afternoon?” I asked in effort to change the subject and distract AJ.

“Sledding?” Nick grinned widely. “I saw a couple big sleds by the back door and there is a HUGE hill out there!”

“Oooo, I haven’t gone sledding in YEARS!” Howie’s eyes lit up like a small child’s. He quickly shoved the last bite in his mouth before taking his plate to the sink. “What are you waiting for, guys? Come on!” We watched Howie disappear from the kitchen.

“I guess, it’ll be fun,” AJ solemnly shrugged his shoulders as he put his untouched food in the refrigerator, for later. I looked over at Nick after watching AJ sulk out of the room.

“Do you think Riley is for real? I mean, he gets attached to girlfriends but this is pretty bad. I would hate to see him get hurt again,” I stared at Nick, waiting for a response.

“That’s a tough question to answer, Baylee. I know he loves her and I am pretty sure she loves him. They are both too scared to jump in to it. Personally, I think they will last, but who really knows, for sure?”

“I hope it does. She is that ‘someone’,” I took my plate to the sink.

“Huh?”

“Never mind.” Heading out of the room, I grabbed my outdoor things and began to pull them on. It wasn’t long before we were all decked out in snow pants, scarves, jackets, gloves, boots, and everything! Howie was waddling like an obese duck and Nick was hopping while making a grunting noise each time he hit the ground. AJ walked normally. I, on the other hand, ran as fast as I could. Out of the house and up the hill, we all prepared for our first run. Everyone was smiling and, now, in good spirits. AJ was the first to get in position and he whizzed down the hill, head first, on the sled.

“Check this out!” Nick hollered as he hopped on his sled, riding it like a surf board, all the way down to the bottom where he wiped out, face first!

“Break anything, Nicker?” Howie roared before he pushed off and began his descent. Half way down the hill, Howie hit a hump in the snow and went flying off his sled. He landed funny and ended up rolling the rest of the way.

“Break anything Howard?” I heard AJ snicker as he passed Howie, on the way back up the hill. It was my turn and I took a running start before diving onto the sled. Gaining break neck speed, I slid smoothly down the hill, until…SMACK! I ran right into Nick’s legs, sending him toppling over me. He was holding onto my foot as I dragged him along behind me.

“You should watch for oncoming traffic. Look both ways, Nick. Look both ways,” I teased as I hit him lightly on the shoulder.

“Well maybe, if you weren’t going 20 miles over the speed limit, this wouldn’t have happened! I want to see your insurance papers!” Nick jumped out of the way as AJ flipped over on his sled.

“Ow, that hurt, man,” AJ walked by rubbing his head. Nick and I looked at each other before running past AJ, who looked at us before chasing after us. We made it to the top of the hill just as Howie hit a tree, at the bottom.

“Damn tree jumped right out in front of me,” Howie screamed up at us, “did you see that shit? Stupid trees think they own the place, all jumping out in front of people and everything!” He shook his head as he began the climb back up.

“I saw it, Howie! You should sue that tree! It was OBVIOUSLY the one at fault,” I smiled as he reached the top. Nick and AJ were both on their way down the hill, backwards.

“I KNOW!” his eyes widened as he began laughing. We waited for AJ and Nick to come to a stop. I rolled my eyes as they collided, ending up in a tangled mess, at the bottom.

“Ready or not…here I’m coming!” I yelled as I used both mine and Howie’s sleds to ‘ski’ down the hill. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be and I ended up face first in the snow.

After climbing up to rejoin the others, we got in position to head down again. We all stood on our sleds, held hands, and ‘surfed’ down the hill side by side. Halfway down, we lost Nick, who tumbled head over heals, to the bottom. We were almost to the bottom when Howie fell, pulling AJ down with him, causing me to land on top of them both.

“Damn it!” Nick limped our way, “I think I sprained my ankle.”

“Uh, I jammed my finger!” Howie whined as he stood up.

“I can’t say THAT was our brightest idea, ever,” AJ commented as he picked up his sled. “Wanna do it again?” A grin spread across his face.

“YEAH!” I grabbed my sled and trudged behind him as we started back to the top of the hill.

“O hell, here I come,” Howie rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m in,” Nick smirked. He was the last one up the hill because of his ankle hurting. Once he made it to the top, we all lined up and jumped on our sleds. Away we went! We all held on, to each other’s hands, tighter this time but it didn’t help much because we ended up in a worse tangle than before! Covered in snow and laughing our butts off, we sprawled out in the snow at the bottom of the hill.

“Time for a break and some cocoa?” AJ sat up and looked down at the rest of us.

“I think we’re all game for that,” Howie stood up and reached his hand to Nick. AJ grabbed my hand and pulled me up; then we all headed into the cabin. As soon as we shed our outdoor clothes, I began making hot cocoa for everyone. Nick was sent to set up his old Playstation that he brought along, while AJ tried to call Riley, and Howie got together some snacks.

We spent the next two hours playing old video games and wrestling with each other. We broke out into a pillow fight and ended up breaking a lamp! Nick called the owner to tell him and had it added onto our bill. All of us calmed down a little, after that. I went up to the loft while the three guys made dinner and, yes, I opened up my dad’s journal.

July 3, 2005

Journal –

Today was an, overall, crazy day! The whole group got together at Nick’s for a day out on the boat. We had food packed for lunch, fishing poles, and games to play. Leighanne, Baylee and I arrived first. AJ showed up without his woman and Howie brought Leigh. Kevin and Kristin actually came, too. Nick told me that he felt like he had to invite Kevin, even though he has been abnormally weird to everyone.

The craziest part of the day was when Nick told Kevin off! Yes…Nick ACTUALLY stood up to Kevin! We were all getting ready to get on the boat when Nick began passing out life jackets. He already helped Baylee get his on and had his own on as well. When handed the jackets, Leigh, Howie and I put them on with out a second thought. Leighanne looked at him funny but put it on. AJ said something like, “I’m a grown man, I don’t need to wear this if I don’t want to.”

I was shocked to hear the response from Nick’s mouth! “Well, Baylee looks up to all of us and we need to set a good example. He thinks we are cool so we need to show him that wearing a life jacket is cool.” Everyone just looked at him. I don’t think anyone knew what to say!

“Sounds logical,” AJ shrugged and put the life jacket on. Kristen nodded her agreement before slipping hers on, as well. This left Kevin, the only one without one on. Nick held out the life jacket for Kevin but Kevin swatted it away, refusing to wear it.

“Just put it on, Kevin,” Nick insisted but Kevin just threw the life jacket on the ground.

“I’m not wearing it and I don’t have to. I’m an adult and can make my own decisions, Nick,” Kevin scowled.

“Yeah, you’re right. You are a grown man and you don’t have to wear a life jacket,” Nick shrugged, picking up the jacket. Kevin smiled, of course, because he thought he won the battle. But his face dropped as Nick continued, “BUT it’s MY boat and no one gets on it unless they have one on.” All of us looked at Nick with wide eyes. He was staring right into Kevin’s eyes, with a hand on his hip.

“You can’t make me do something I don’t want to do, Nickolas,” Kevin argued. His eyebrows scrunched as he narrowed his eyes at Nick. Nick smirked and shrugged his shoulders.

“Okay, everyone with a life jacket, get on the boat. Kevin, you might not want to wait around because we’ll be gone most of the day.” Nick smiled with mock sweetness at Kevin, before helping Baylee onto the boat. Kevin was FURIOUS! I could almost see steam shooting from his ears!

Let me tell you what, no one was more surprised than me! What has gotten into Nick lately? The couple weeks ago, that dumb new dog of Leighanne’s bit Baylee’s leg and Nick called 911. The Tahoe was still in the shop and Leighanne was out with the Blazer. Baylee needed stitches, that was for sure. But when I told Nick we would just DRIVE Baylee to the hospital because an ambulance wasn’t necessary, he laughed at me. He slowly explained the Baylee’s car seat was in the Blazer with Leighanne and we didn’t have a proper way to take Baylee to the hospital! Since when does Nick think of stuff like that?!?! Nick is definitely not the same annoying little blonde boy that he used to be.

Anyways, it’s late and I need some sleep. Today was just too wild of a day and I HAD to document how Nick stood up to Kevin. I think my head is still spinning over the whole incident! The look on Kevin’s face, as Nick started the boat’s engine, was priceless! I don’t think he really knew what had just happened…then again, all of us thought we were dreaming. Well, I’m off to bed now. Night!

- Brian T. Littrell


I smiled as I closed the journal. Hearing Nick yelling at me, I got up and headed downstairs for dinner. I smiled at Nick and patted his shoulder. He looked at me funny and I just winked at him before sitting at the table.

“Mmm, looks good,” I rubbed my hands together.

“Steak is always good. It might not be the traditional Christmas dinner, but we aren’t the traditional family so I guess it fits.” Howie grinned widely as he set the scalloped potatoes in the middle of the table. We spent the rest of the night together. There were no presents this year, but I don’t think any of us cared because we spent the day together. Not to mention, we had a total blast! I actually fell asleep with a grin on my face.