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“So…” Nick paced a circle near the office window.

“What?” I asked as I continued to look over the journal I had missed.

“I guess your dad made it pretty clear, huh?”

“I guess,” I shrugged, not really knowing what he was getting at.

“Um…”

“You know,” I spoke up, deciding to save him from his moment of awkwardness. “I understand why my dad picked you. It makes a lot of sense. I never realized you loved me so much.” I snickered, leaning back in the chair.

“Come on, you know I love you like you were my own son.”

“Or little brother,” I grinned widely. He narrowed his eyes at me but still allowed a snicker to escape. “We were more like partners in crime.”

“Yeah, we were,” he nodded. “I miss those days.”

“Um…if I could remember them, I’m sure I would miss them too. I am so glad I found dad’s journal because it’s like a window into our past. Honestly, I think that I understand things a lot better now. Oh, and for the record, I’m not mad at his decision any more; I’m okay with having you as a guardian. I shouldn’t have treated you so badly.”

“Yeah, well I shouldn’t have listened to the drug addict I used to consider a father. I was so confused, Baylee, and I really thought that he would know what was best. I knew he was drugged up but I figured he would know, better than me, how to raise you. When he told me to stop goofing around or he was going to take you…I did it…I turned into a blonde version of him. Why didn’t I see it before? This is what Brian wanted. He wanted me to be a guardian AND a friend. God, I’m so dumb!”

“You’re not dumb, Nick,” I broke him from his rant. I approached him and looked up into his eyes. “You were trying to protect me and make my dad proud. So what, if we battled for a couple years? Everything is fine now. I respect you for your decisions and what you have done for me. I don’t hate you and I never meant it when I said I did.”

“Thanks, Baylee. Now, about Morgan…” *BANG BANG BANG BANG*

“Nickolas Gene Carter! You open this door right now and give me my son!” Kevin’s voice boomed through the front door as he continued to pound on the wood.

“He must have made bail,” Nick’s face was etched with concern and my eyes were, practically, popped out onto the floor. “Go. Go get Mason and get to Morgan’s. Stay there and don’t you dare answer any calls unless they are from AJ’s cell phone. Do you understand me?”

“Yeah,” I nodded and raced up the stairs. As soon as I was around the corner, I heard the front door open.

“Where is my son, Carter?”

“He’s not available to talk right now.” Nick’s response was calm. I flipped open my cell and pressed 3 on speed dial.

“Mason, grab some clothes, quick.” I instructed my younger cousin as I listened to the phone ring.

“Speak words and talk to me,” AJ’s chipper voice floated over the phone line.

“AJ, get over here now. Kevin showed up and I think Nick will need backup.”

“On my way,” he responded and hung up. I knew I could count on AJ. Howie was sleeping so, I doubt, anything could wake him up. It would be up to AJ.

“My dad’s here?” Mason questioned as he pushed past me.

“MASON! NO! Come back here!” I raced after him. Just as we reached the top of the stairs we froze at the sight of Kevin’s fist hitting Nick, causing the tall blonde to crumple to the floor.

“STOP!!!” Mason screamed as he bounded down the remaining stairs, with me right on his heals. “What are you doing?”

“I told you to get him out of here, Baylee,” Nick moaned from the floor.

“Shut the fuck up, Carter,” Kevin sneered as he kicked a foot into Nick’s stomach. Nick groaned loudly as Mason stepped between the two men. Seeing Mason take a stand, I slipped up next to him.

“Leave him alone,” Mason ordered.

“He can’t take you away from my Mason. You are MY son!” Kevin’s eyebrows furrowed in anger as Nick slowly stood to his feet.

“Nick didn’t take me away from you! It’s your fault. It’s all your fault! It’s your fault mom is dead and it’s your fault I am here, so don’t you dare try to blame any of this on Nick! Besides, I’m not your son, you gave me up a long time ago, Kevin. You chose your drugs over me!” Mason’s face was red with anger as he spat mean words in his father’s face.

“I’m not the fucking drug addict! I’m not a low life, like AJ,” Kevin shouted, nearing his nose close to Mason’s. My heart ached as I looked to see AJ standing right behind Kevin. AJ’s eyes filled with rage as he just stood there, unnoticed by Kevin.

“Uncle Kevin…”

“Shut the hell up, Baylee, this doesn’t concern you!”

“Don’t you talk to him like that,” Nick stepped between Mason and me to come face to face, again, with Kevin. “Just because you fucked up, doesn’t mean you can take it out on either of…MY boys!”

“You little fuck!” Kevin lunged toward Nick, but was restrained, quickly, from behind. Kevin’s eyes showed his shock as he turned to see whose hands had stopped him from attacking Nick. “YOU!”

“Yeah, me, the low life. But you know, it’s not like I had a very good role model,” AJ smirked with a raised eyebrow.

“STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Mason screamed at the top of his lungs. “Everybody just STOP! I am so sick of this!”

“I second that,” I nodded. “It seems to me like Mason and I should be YOUR guys’ guardians.”

“Yeah, for talking all this crap about Nick being an immature little kid…you sure aren’t any better…Kevin,” Mason stared his father down.

“All of you…to the living room…NOW!” I pointed my finger towards the doorway of the living room.

“Don’t you dare…” Kevin began to speak but I cut him off.

“No, don’t YOU dare! I said ‘NOW’ and I meant it! It’s about dog on time you guys listened to what we have to say about this.”

“Just go,” AJ shoved Kevin into the living room. I pointed to the couch. Nick and AJ plopped onto the couch as Kevin slumped into a chair, with a scowl.

“Baylee’s right, this has got to stop,” Mason began as we stood in front of the others.

“Have any of you ever stopped to think about how this was affecting us? I have been in the middle of these battles for years! I am so sick of hearing you guys bicker and scream. And, I am highly disappointed to have witnessed one of you beating on another, tonight,” I narrowed my eyes as I glared at my uncle. “I have had to suffer through this for far too long and now Mason is being dragged into the middle of it?!? What is wrong with you? Who are the adults here? If you judge according to actions…I don’t see any in this room! Now I think we have a right to know, and I demand that you tell us, how this all got started, to begin with!” All eyes turned to my uncle. His eyes darted back and forth between each of us.

“I don’t have to answer to any of you!”

“As a matter of fact, you do,” Mason positioned himself, directly, in front of his father. “I have every right to know why you decided that you loved crack better than me and why you would allow some guy come and kill mom because you didn’t want to pay him for meth. Huh? Don’t you think, as your son, I deserve to know why you say you love me, when you clearly don’t act like it? You’re making everyone else’s life a living hell because you’re a drug addict and can’t control yourself! And, don’t you dare bring AJ into this because I heard you laughing one night about how you got him hooked so no one would suspect you.”

“You can’t talk to me like that,” Kevin huffed.

“Why not? You talk to everyone else, including your own son, like they’re pieces of shit,” I moved next to Mason. “What? You can dish it but you can’t take it? How does it feel to have someone call you out on your screw ups? You seem to enjoy calling out everyone else’s mistakes. Admit it, Uncle Kevin…YOU…ARE…A…FUCK…UP! It’s not Nick that’s screwing up…it wasn’t my dad who screwed up…it’s not AJ who screwed up, either…wake up and smell the rehab because it all falls on you!”

“That’s enough, boys,” Nick interjected softly. “You know I don’t allow that kind of language Baylee, and it’s not proper for you to speak to adults in that manner.”

“I only have one other thing to say,” Mason leaned close to his father and whispered three horrible words. “I…hate you.” Kevin’s eyes grew wide and his eyebrows furrowed.

“I said that was enough, boys. You are both responsible for extra chores tomorrow because you both know better than to act like this,” Nick’s voice remained soft and quiet.

“No,” Kevin’s voice cracked, “they’re right.” Four pair of eyes drifted his way, in utter disbelief. My uncle burst into tears and dropped his head into his hands. The rest of us looked at each other, not sure what to say or do. “I’ve fucked everything up! My wife is gone…all she ever did was stand by me…and…and…and try to help me…and I got her killed! I didn’t mean for everything to get so out of hand…I just…I just couldn’t handle the pressure…” His shoulders shook and his words were hard to understand. The rest of us were frozen. No one expected him to break down like this.

“Dad…”

“NO! You’re right…it’s…it’s…all my…fault,” Kevin’s voice wailed.

“What’s going on?” Howie finally woke up and ran into the room.

“I…I…I…” Kevin’s voice still cracking, he looked up to Howie, with tears streaming down his face, “I need help.”

“What pressure are you talking about, Kevin?” AJ questioned as he, now, knelt in front of my uncle.

“All of it…” he stuttered. I handed him a box of tissues as he continued. “I…I…I just couldn’t take it any more. I tried…I really did…”

“What are you talking about?” AJ asked again.

“You and Nick needed a father figure…I always had to keep the recording and tours running smoothly…Brian was always asking me for marriage advice…Howie would never take charge of things…I had to be…I had to be responsible for all of you! I was in charge of making sure Nick was on time….and…Brian didn’t goof around too much…and Howie stayed awake and…AJ didn’t drink. I have had to do everything! I didn’t want that role…it just got thrown onto my shoulders. Then the drugs helped me release stress. I needed them to stay sane! I tried to keep everything together and be strong for everyone else but I ended up loosing myself, in the process. I just…I couldn’t…handle the…pressure…”

“I didn’t realize you hated it so much,” Nick gasped, with tears forming in his eyes, “I thought you wanted. to be our father figure.”

“Same here,” AJ nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too,” Nick agreed.

“I don’t hate you guys. I just…I’m weak. I tried to be strong…but…I just…I couldn’t do it. I…I never meant for it to get so out of hand. The fans have even noticed what an ass I’ve been.”

“I don’t think they really know, Kev,” Howie soothed.

“Oh really? You don’t think so? Then why, did some crazy fan chase me down the street, waving a stick and threatening to shove it up my ass? She was screaming, and I quote, ‘YOU ASSHOLE!! YOU GOT YOUR WIFE SHOT!! DAMMIT!! GET OVER HERE SO I CAN SHOVE THIS UP YOUR DICKWAD ASS!!’. I didn’t realize the shooting had already leaked out to the fans.”

“We’ll get you help, Kev. It’s not like we didn’t go through this with me,” AJ patted Kevin’s shoulder.

“I’m…I’m sorry I let you all down. Somehow, I don’t think the fans will be as supportive of me as they were of you, AJ,” tears still streaked down his cheeks, but at a slower pace. Mason wrapped his dad in a hug.

“Don’t worry about them,” Nick finally came into the conversation. “We’re just happy that you are ready to do something about your problem. We are here for you and the fans will follow suit.”

“Right…thanks. Well, um, is it alright if I talk to Baylee, for a little bit?”

“Of course,” everyone else nodded before leaving the room. I had been sitting on the couch, just watching the scene unfold. I hadn’t said anything since I yelled at him and I was sure he was about to tear my head off for swearing at him. I clenched my teeth and tensed up as everyone left me and my uncle alone. Readying myself for anything, I waited for him to speak.