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A long, slender leg slipped out from the waters of the bubbling grotto of the Playboy Mansion. The lights were dimmed, and a thin haze came from the heated waters rushing over the manmade waterfall within the pool. Bodies were on top of each other, and light music filtered through speakers above them, yet little was said. She stretched herself as her leg slid back under the hot tub, resembling waters of the grotto. It was a place always said to hold many secrets but, like Vegas, what happened there stayed there. Long, golden tendrils were piled atop the young woman's head as she peacefully moaned at the soothing heat and relaxation that soon took her.

"Mmm... this is heaven." Her hands held her small phone, which rapidly texted her favorite secretary. "I don't know why the other ladies hate this mission so much. I'm lovin' it! Hot soak, hot guys to watch... now this is a mission. " Diamond Divine couldn't have been happier at the moment. Yes, she was supposed to be sneaking around, but she was keeping an eye out for the enemy. Whether they be aliens, bad guys, or nasty old men on Viagra. She had to blend in, so what better way to do so than relax, like so many of the other Bunnies here did?

That was when the noise came. A noise unlike one she had ever heard before. The pitch made the screen of her phone crack. The screech was a wailing moan, that of perhaps a banshee, definitely something not of this planet. The screen shattered into pieces completely before the deafening noise finally silenced. That was when Diamond's jaw clenched. You could mess with many a thing of hers, and she'd shrug it off. But her phone? That made it personal. She was finding that alien, and she was finding it now. She gazed down on her poor, shattered phone. A senseless victim. So she pushed the button on the side that was the last resort back-up speaker.

"Girls, I think there's totally something by the grotto, ‘cause it killed my phone! Ugh, meet me here, ‘kay?"

She grabbed her tiny skirt and matching top to quickly slip on before the others came. That was the other rule of the area: you had to be nude – no swimsuits. The strappy heels she adored were snapped upon her feet, and she let her hair down in bouncy, loose ringlets. She had to look good, of course. Her hands slipped into her mini purse to pull out one of the specialized weapons Pearl had made them bring along. A gun made with far more power than one would expect.

Diamond happened to be ready just in time for the others to show up. Red looked beyond relieved. After leaving the sanctuary of the bathroom, she’d had another run-in with the guy who just adored "muffins her flavor." Emerald was still disgusted by the entire affair and was ready to let Jay have it the moment she got her hands on him, after what she’d had to deal with. Pearl… to say she looked peeved would have been putting it mildly. Diamond idly wondered just what had the ladies so riled up, but there was no time for that now.

"So what's going on, Barbie?"

"I was in here, totally getting my spa on, and this weird noise came and killed my phone! But no one even blinked twice at it but me." She waved her hand around at the others, who were too infatuated with each other and the sexual tension rising through the steam to notice much else.

"Jeez, and I thought Blondie was always horny," Pearl quipped.

"Where'd the noise come from?" the doctor asked.

Diamond pointed towards a small corner of the waterfall, along a wall of the illusioned cave of the pool, which no one occupied despite the coveted privacy it would have provided. Emerald raised a brow at it before looking at the phone. "Damn, shit killed it. I'm amazed you're alive without your lifeline."

Red's brow furrowed as she started examining it. Pearl, however, slipped on a large pair of designer sunglasses very similar to the ones celebrities wore. That's what they had been, actually, before she’d modified them to detect signals certain levels of technology gave off. Not that she'd buy shades like these. Actually, she had "borrowed" them from-

"Hey!" the other blonde squealed. "I've been looking everywhere for those!"

"Sorry, I owe you a pair, Di, I swear."

"Hmph."

She pressed a tiny button along the side of the frame, almost invisible unless one knew it was there. A light flashed along the front of the lenses, and suddenly, everything came into view. She stepped forward, brushing against a large rock, which made a panel slide open to reveal a long, dark passageway.

Red grinned. "Nice. This has cliché written all over it."

Pearl shrugged and took off the shades. "Blame the one who built it."

The ladies snuck down the hall, the wall closing in fast behind them. It slammed shut, and Diamond sighed. "They can never stay open, can they?"

Emerald smirked. "Better for us; no one will see us here. I want this mission over and done. Jay owes me big time for this shit."

As the four continued down the hall, a soft humming was heard. They all glanced at the scientist who continued, oblivious. "Here come the Men in Black... they won't let you remember..." She felt their gazes and blinked. "What?"

Diamond giggled. "Wouldn't we be the Bunnies In Black?"

The brunette just rolled her eyes. "You're the smart one. They're gonna hear us."

"Em, seriously, these walls are almost soundproof. The stuff in this passage is intense, like devices built to absorb all the noise ‘cause they all operate on audio. I'm almost positive the only noises able to get out are the ones on the really pitchy frequency, like Di heard."

Red looked over. "Like the aliens."

"Shame they're not like ET – that alien was nice, but icky looking. I loved that movie."

"I know whatever's controlling Hef is a testy-ass bastard. Wait till I tell you what I just had to-"

"I still say there's another explanation. I mean, come on. There's no scientific evidence even supporting any credibility of aliens in any galaxy close enough to travel here, let alone within the Milky Way galaxy, and-" Her words were cut off quickly at the sight before her.

The path had led to a room that lit up by a motion sensor. Inside was a large, oval-shaped craft, in a space larger than even her lab. The metal of the craft looked reflective and shimmered with glimpses of a rainbow. Little lights bleeped around it with a soft humming. It was so much like a sci-fi movie's depiction of a spaceship, and yet so very different at the same time. Pearl's eyes widened as she stared in shock. The girls stopped immediately at the sight as well.

"Wow!" was Diamond's simple reaction.

"Shit, that's huge."

Red was speechless.

Pearl took a breath. "… Okay, and now I'm a believer." After the initial shock wore off, out came her tiny camera, snapping photos of the far-advanced technology. She was like a kid in a candy store, and she couldn't get enough. "I can't believe this!" She ran up the ramp, where the door to the hull was left open. With a cautious gaze within, she stepped inside and recorded it all on film. "There is so much I can – we can – learn..."

"Wow, who knew the movies had it right?" Red said softly, just taking it in.

"You okay?" Diamond asked.

"Yeah, I'm alright."

"Damn, that girl just got her form of crack," Emerald mused, watching the fourth girl with amusement. "It's like a nerd at a Star Trek convention or some shit."

Pearl picked a small item up as she ran back down the ramp. "You guys, we should..." She caught their gazes. "Focus. Okay, focusing." She slipped within her pockets two new devices; one was something that enwrapped an almost holographic cone around you and absorbed all noise so none reached outside of the cone. The other she hadn't tested just yet to see its purpose. She'd play with her newfound toys later, she supposed.

A loud crash came from back down the passageway. Emerald pulled out her gun, fully back in her trademark bitch mode. "Great, what is it now?"


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“Um, ladies, I think you have company…” Jay warned as he peered around the corner just in time to see a large group of Playmates headed towards the grotto. He’d managed to sneak onto the Mansion grounds through the staff entrance, and all he’d had to do was grab an apron – a pink one with the Playboy Bunny emblazoned on the front in white rhinestones – and the guards around the Mansion merely assumed he was a kitchen worker. Now, using his watch to keep an eye on the girls from a secluded corner just outside the kitchen doorway, he could hear murmurs of a security breach and a call for all personnel briefed on “the project” to report to “the headquarters.”

“What’s going on out there, Jay?” Brian asked as he, Mulder, and Scully watched the scene unfold from the surveillance van.

“The girls must have tripped some sort of silent alarm…” Jay peered over again and saw that even more Playmates – and several large guards – were on their way into the Grotto. “They’re way too outnumbered; I’m going in there.”

“Just watch out,” Brian reminded Jay, as he, too, watched the girls become surrounded by the Playmates who had already arrived at their location. Mulder and Scully exchanged a glace before looking back at the screen.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…” Jay said with a sigh, as he crept his way across the lawn to the pool area. Thankfully, the secret entrance had been left open by the last person to enter it, and after a quick look around to make sure he wouldn’t be spotted, Jay quickly made his way to the girls.


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“There’s too many of them!” Red screamed as she struggled to jam her elbow into the ribs of one of the Playmates who had latched onto her back, only to have another Playmate take a swipe at her head.

“And it’s impossible to fight in these damn heels!” Emerald called out, throwing the Playmate that lunged at her into the wall.

“Not when you’re used to it!” Diamond shouted as she kicked one Playmate in the stomach and turned around to punch another one.

“Not all of us wear stilettos all the time!” Pearl replied as she, too, kicked one of the Playmates in the stomach, then had another one sneak up behind her and try to choke her. The Playmate’s grip was soon inexplicably loosened, until Pearl looked over and saw a bullet had pierced the Playmate’s chest. Turning around again, Pearl saw her mentor, Jay, firing his gun left and right at the Playmates and guards.

“Took you long enough!” Emerald snapped at Jay, as she managed to subdue another Playmate and punch one of the guards. Jay shot the guard just as he was about to attack Emerald again.

“You’re welcome!” he called back, still firing his gun but throwing in a few punches at the attackers who now surrounded him.


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