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The jets had finally come in, so this seemed like the perfect chance to use one for a mission. The seats resembled a business class lounge, providing everyone ample room to ignore the agents they had less of a fondness for.

K sat alone near the cockpit of the jet, fiddling with the employee ID cards the Himitsu Takana human resources department had created. K chuckled a little as he shuffled through the cards. Unlike most human resource departments, theirs was in charge of creating false identities for current agents, rather than insuring the hiring of new ones. It was a rather complex process, actually…

K stopped chuckling over the IDs when he reached the last one in the pile. He had already seen his fake Magic Kingdom ID, but the one in his hand now was slightly worn and blurred. He let out a soft sigh as he stared at the old ID with his youthful expression. Things were so much simpler back then…

Pearl peered over K’s shoulder. “Those are some pretty impressive ID cards.”

K gave her a small smile. “They’re just souvenirs.”

Pearl laughed a little. “Like getting a fake ID in college for spring break?”

“It's something like that.”

Pearl sat down beside him. “I’m impressed that the first thing you used the jet for was a vacation!” She shook her head. “That’s not like you.”

“Well, after the trouble we’ve all had lately, I still think a vacation is a good thing.”

“I still wish Red and Diamond could have come with us… and Jay…”

“I’m going to send them off on their own little vacation.”

Pearl laughed. “Emerald won’t like that Jay’s going to be with her.”

“With who?” Emerald leaned forward from the seat behind K’s. She had spread herself as far as possible from the other two agents and Pearl. K, however, she didn’t mind so much.

“Diamond and Red are going on a separate vacation with Jay.”

Emerald crossed her arms and shook her head. “I don’t know why you didn’t wait and send me with them. Or bring Diamond instead of me. I don’t even like Disney. It puts fairy tale nonsense in girls’ heads. That’s perfect for her.”

“It’s not nonsense!” Nick yelled.

Emerald rolled her eyes. “And then they meet Casanovas like Blondie and think they’ve found Prince Charming.”

Nick beamed. “Of course I’m Prince Charming.”

Emerald shook her head again. “I was being sarcastic.”

Nick stood and sat himself in the seat next to Emerald. “Be honest with yourself: wouldn’t you rather be with a guy like me than with a guy like JC?”

Emerald smirked. “Did you say JC because you knew if you mentioned Agent Littrell, you would lose?”

Nick rolled his eyes. “He’s not so great.”

“He’s a perfect gentleman.”

Nick slammed his hand on the padded armrest, which, understandably, did little damage. “He works for the government!” Nick took a breath. “Now, me or JC?”

JC strolled over. “I’m the obvious choice over you, Carter.”

Nick rolled his eyes. “Oh please. You run away at the first sight of trouble.”

JC shook his head. “That’s because most of the trouble I come into contact with gets started by you.”

“Pearl! Who’s more like Prince Charming, JC or me?”

Pearl jumped at suddenly being brought back into the conversation. “Well…”

JC brushed Pearl off. “Be serious, Nick, a scientist wouldn’t know Prince Charming if he was right in front of her face.”

“Excuse me?” Pearl stood and gripped the padding of the top of the seat.

Nick snickered. “She’s going to pound you, JC…”

“She should pound you because you play everyone.”

“I can’t help it if women think I’m amazing!”

“The only person who thinks you’re amazing is you.” Emerald rolled her eyes again.

“Enough.” K shook his head.

The squabbling continued behind him.

K stood as well. “Enough!”

The three agents and the scientist turned to K.

“Don’t make me turn this plane around!” K shouted.

Nick shrugged. “Why would you do that? It’s a vacation.”

K shook his head as he sat down. “It is a vacation. So please take a vacation from your differences.”

JC, Nick, and Pearl reluctantly returned to their seats as the seat belt sign started flashing.

K put his hand to his head. If they acted like this with the promise of a vacation, just how would they react when they found out it was actually a mission? K let out a sigh and stared at his worn ID again. If only he could really go back there…

“It’s a world of laughter… a world of tears…!” Nick belted out.

K let his head fall further, “Nick…”

“It’s a world of hopes… it’s a world of fears…!”

“Nick…”

“There’s so much that we share, that it’s time we’re aware…!”

“Nick.”

“It’s a small world after all!!!!!!!”

“Nick! If you don’t stop talking right now, I will throw you out of this plane without a parachute!”

“But I’m not talking; I’m singing!”

“Without a parachute!”

Nick crossed his arms and sank into his seat. A small pout crossed his face. He then started singing quietly to himself. “It’s a small world after all…”


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“It’s a small world after all…”

The distant singing pricked the ears of Dr. Rough, who instantly frowned.

“It’s a small world after all…”

The irritating sound only got louder as he stalked through the tunnel, flanked by two of his minions, growing nearer to its source.

“It’s a small world after all…”

Dr. Rough burst through a door marked Men’s Wardrobe just in time to witness one of his minions, Abs, belt at the top of his lungs, “It’s a smaaall, smaaall world!”

“SILENCE!” roared Dr. Rough, stopping every minion in the room in his tracks. The ferret on his shoulder gave a startled squeak and scrambled down his back, but the minions froze, pieces of brightly-colored costumes tumbling out of their arms as they looked fearfully at their master. Dr. Rough’s bulging eyes targeted Abs.

He could feel the vein in his forehead pulsing and took a deep breath, trying to regain control of himself. He couldn’t do anything that would attract too much attention to their operation. Changing his approach, he let his voice fall into a low, silky whisper and simpered, “Dr. Rough would like to know why… why you were singing that song.”

Abs swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing in this throat. “Right, well… you see, I… I reckon I got caught up in the excitement; that’s all.”

Excitement… Dr. Rough could understand that; he’d been plotting this takeover for months, as a back-up for the Antarctic laser debacle, and so far, all was going according to plan. He was just awaiting confirmation from Drums that the job had been done…

“It’s just, being from London, I’ve never been to Disney World before,” Abs babbled on. If he’d known any better, he would have stopped while he was ahead; Dr. Rough’s mercy only reached so far, and the English minion was now stretching it to its limits. “It really is quite a magical place, even if we’re only seeing it from below…”

“If you think it’s magical now,” snarled Dr. Rough, rapidly losing patience again, “just wait until it is controlled by FANS. Then the world shall see its true ‘magical’ power!” An orgasmic shudder jolted through his body as he thought of the plan, and his eye began to twitch.

“Cheers, Dr. Rough!” Abs replied jovially, and on a whim, he struck up his song again. “It’s a small world after all… it’s a small world after all… it’s a- aghk!” He let out a strangled cry as Dr. Rough collared him and flattened him against a wall, his hand pressing against Abs’s windpipe.

Dr. Rough brought his face close to Abs, his enraged eyes boring unblinkingly into the minion’s panicked ones. He spoke in a deathly hiss that had long since lost its silkiness. “Never… never sing that song again!” Abs winced as the hot breath hit his face. “Small… I hate the word ‘small,’” Dr. Rough spat, and as he looked up into the fearful face of his minion, he realized how much taller the English chap was. His eye winked involuntarily again as he released Abs and turned away.

“The world Dr. Rough shall soon control is not a small one!” he proclaimed, speaking now to all in the room who watched him. “It is a vast kingdom without boundaries, without limits! I shall be its all-powerful ruler, and you…, those of you who serve me well, will be my subjects, rewarded, while those who defy me will suffer. Starting, of course, with the meddlesome agents of Himitsu Takana.”

While the minions absorbed this message, Dr. Rough’s thoughts turned to the revenge he sought against the agency who had defied him time and time again. They would not succeed in thwarting him this time. Even if they tried to interfere, he had the advantage of home soil, and nearly all his minions at his beck and call. Together, they would defeat HimTak.

“Hear, hear!” cried Abs in relief, massaging his tender throat.

Dr. Rough ignored him, looking around for his most loyal companion. He made a chirruping noise, and the ferret scampered out from behind a rack of clothing and nimbly streaked back up to his place on Dr. Rough’s shoulder. “There, there, Dr. Twitches,” he murmured, scratching the ferret’s head with one finger. “There’s nothing to fear. Drums should return any moment, and Phase 1 of our plan will be complete.”

“S-so what’s Phase 2, Dr. Rough?” asked Donnie, looking over. “We’ve got all those people tied up, but what happens next?”

“Wait until Drums returns; then you shall know… if you’re lucky. Why I should tell you anything, you who are prone to insane rants in public places, I am not sure.”

Donnie hung his head, his pale cheeks flushing. “I-I’m so sorry, master,” he stammered. “I-I still don’t know h-how to… to explain that. I… I wasn’t myself. But I’m b-back in my… my right mind now, and I-I promise to serve you m-most faithfully…”

“The information you attained in Los Angeles will be useful for my next great machine,” Dr. Rough conceded. “That’s the only reason I’ve allowed you to come on this mission. You understand, I’m sure.”

“O-of course, master.” Donnie nodded frantically. “I-I won’t let you down! I-”

A pair of footsteps approaching in the tunnel stopped the minion with a squeak, and all heads turned toward the closed door. Dr. Rough’s fingers tightened around the gun tucked inside his jacket, his eyes narrowing. The door burst open, and his fingers relaxed their grip as he watched a big, blue figure bounce into the room.

The bulging blue gloves instantly went to the massive, caricatured head of the Genie and pulled it off. The grinning blue face was tossed aside, and there stood Drums, his own head appearing shrunken above the padded Genie costume, especially with the large goggles he wore. He pushed these up and back off his face and took a moment to look around at the room of minions, all staring at him, and Dr. Rough among them. Then he flashed a wide, gloating grin. “We’re in, y’all,” he said.

Dr. Rough’s eyes grew large with excitement. “The bomb has been planted?”

“Right where ya wanted it, boss. These night-vision goggles came in handy, yo,” Drums added, gesturing to the goggles now perched on top of his head. “Ain’t nobody gonna find that sucka in the dark.”

A pleased smile made its way across the evil genius’s face. “Excellent. Then Phase 1 is complete. We’ve taken our hostages, the bomb is in place, and so we proceed to Phase 2. This, my minions, is where I will need you the most. Are you listening?”

He looked around, and every eye in the room was fixed on him. They were paying attention.

“Now that we’ve infiltrated the park, we have to take care to make sure no one suspects anything out of the ordinary. We must not be discovered until the time is right…”

“But Dr. Rough,” spoke up Shane, another of those obnoxious European minions. “Forgive me, but haven’t we already raised suspicion? The hail… and the snow. I’m just an Irishman, but even me mates and I know it doesn’t snow in Orlando, Florida.”

Dr. Rough grimaced, annoyed at the pesky minion for bringing this up again. “I admit, mistakes have been made,” he replied through gritted teeth. “But the machine had to be tested. At least we know it works, although not yet to the best of its ability. But once Walt Disney World is destroyed, we will have control of all its power resources, and then, at last, my weather machine will be fully operational. Soon, my minions, we will control the forces of nature. We will unleash its fury and wreak havoc upon all of North America, and then… the world!”

Lightning struck, and a great boom of thunder drowned out the maniacal laughter of Dr. Rough and his agents. Dr. Rough’s cackling cut off abruptly. “Curse that blasted machine,” he growled. “Fatone, I thought I told you to turn it off!”

The minion he was addressing, Joey, gulped. “I thought I did, Dr. Rough.”

“Apparently you did not, as it’s now thunderstorming!” raged Dr. Rough. “Put your Mickey costume back on and check it again!”

Joey nodded. “I’m on it, Doc.” He stepped back into his Mickey Mouse jumpsuit, pulled the large mouse head over his own, and hurried out of the wardrobe room, making his way through the network of tunnels to the staircase that would lead him up to the Magic Kingdom, where he’d hidden Dr. Rough’s prized machine in the chimney of Mickey’s Country House.

Once he was gone, Dr. Rough turned to the rest of his minions. “As I was saying… we must not be discovered. So, we will take the places of the hostages you have captured and patrol the park undercover in their costumes. No one will suspect a thing, so long as you stay in character and play your part. Is that understood?”

The minions nodded. Then Abs asked, “Might we choose our own costumes? I’d rather like to be that bloke from-”

“You are testing Dr. Rough’s patience again, Abs,” Dr. Rough growled. “Let us see who you have taken hostage, and then we shall decide who wears what costume. Follow me.”

He led the minions out of the wardrobe room and into a tiny hair salon called Kingdom Kutters. Every chair held a frightened Disney employee, who had been bound, gagged, and strapped in. Only their eyes were allowed to move, and they darted around, wide and fearful, as their captors swarmed in.

“We laid out their costumes over here, Dr. Rough,” said Shane, leading his master over to a spare bit of floor in front of a counter full of hair products. The various character costumes had been spread out across the floor, while the corresponding masks and headpieces sat on the countertop. “If you don’t mind a suggestion, Kian and I thought perhaps you should be Doc.”

Dr. Rough looked at the gargantuan head, with its silly round nose, white beard, and spectacles, and roared with rage. He threw out his arm, flinging the mask off the counter, and grabbed Shane’s throat. “A dwarf?!” he snarled. “You dare suggest I resemble a dwarf?!”

His eyes were murderous, and Shane began to tremble. “N-no, Dr. Rough, not at all!” he sputtered hoarsely. “I merely thought, because you are so intelligent… our leader… and you call yourself d-doctor!”

Dr. Rough threw him down to the floor and pulled his gun. “I am a doctor,” he hissed, “and I’m pronouncing your time of death… now!” Before anyone could react, he fired three bullets into Shane’s chest. The Irishman twitched and shook as he drew in his last, labored breaths. Within a few moments, his body had gone limp and lifeless.

Dr. Rough kicked him aside. “Anyone else think I should dress as a dwarf?” he threatened, brandishing his gun.

The other minions shook their heads quickly, backing away.

“Good. Then I shall be…” He looked around, his eyes gleaming as they settled upon the perfect costume. “Jafar.”

“G-good choice, master! V-very appropriate!” Donnie exclaimed, quivering.

“Naturally,” said Dr. Rough. He turned to Drums. “And you, Drums, you shall stay as the Genie?”

“You know it, Doc,” said Drums, rubbing the golden cuffs around his blue wrists. “Blang blang, baby!”

Dr. Rough nodded. “The rest of you, choose a costume and put it on quickly. We must get back up to the park before anyone grows suspicious at the lack of characters around. I’m afraid the sound of my bullets won’t have helped.” He sighed, stroking Dr. Twitches again. “Sometimes, anger gets the best of us, doesn’t it, Dr. Twitches?”

The ferret chattered in response.

“Daddy’s going to dress you like a parrot; won’t that be nice?” he cooed, pulling a knife from his pocket. He began to hack away at the stuffed parrot hooked to the Jafar costume, hollowing it out so that he could cloak his ferret in it.

“Dr. Rough, if you don’t want to be a dwarf, I will,” said Kian happily, picking up the Doc head, eager to compensate for his friend’s mistake. He put the large head on over his own and marched around, testing out his new costume. All around him, the others were putting on their own gear. “This’ll be a real gas!” Kian exclaimed. “Ready, lads? Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it’s off to work we go…”

The minion’s cheerful whistling was cut off by a loud bang, and as “Doc” toppled over, right onto his bulbous nose, the others turned in shock to see Dr. Rough, now dressed as Jafar, blow calmly on the smoking barrel of his gun.

Blood poured from the small hole in the Kian’s back, as Dr. Rough stowed the gun in the folds of his long, black robes, looked around at the remaining minions, and smiled beneath his tall, bejeweled turban. Picking up his golden walking staff, he said, “Well… you heard the man, didn’t you? Off to work we go.”

The cobra head ornamenting his staff bobbed before him as he strode to the door, Dr. Twitches on his shoulder, and a ragtag parade of Disney favorites traipsing along behind him.


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