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Pearl smirked as she sat next to her controls. She did upgrade the car herself, so Nick should have known she would be able to control it from her own database.

The large projector screen was before Jay and her on a nearby wall, having come down from a slot in the ceiling. Nick and Diamond’s meeting in Las Vegas filled the screen. More so, Nick getting riled up filled the screen, which, of course, greatly amused Jay, who was sitting beside her. Leave it to her to put underwear in the trunk of Nick's car. Pink ones with hearts on them, to top it off.

Nick was angrily trying to figure out how to talk to Pearl through his watch. "Damnit Pearl!" he exclaimed again when he finally got the thing to work.

Pearl jumped a little at the sudden shouting in her ear and touched a button on her headset, allowing her to speak. "No need to yell, dear. Just my payback for the last little gift you left me during your hiatus. You really thought I wasn't going to get you for that? I never forget, Blondie."

"I'm gonna get you back!" Now he tilted what was the little camera towards his face, though one would never suspect it was a camera. He stuck his tongue out at it, and Pearl giggled.

"Can't wait for it. And don't you have a mission? I'd rather not see a porno, so try not to seduce Diamond out of doing the mission."

Jay snickered as he turned from the sunglasses he was looking over. "Diamond I wouldn't mind, but no amount of money would ever get me to look at 008's ass willingly."

"00Carter!" Nick cried out, annoyed. Jay blinked with surprise. Wow, that headset of Pearl’s was pretty good at picking up any audio around her.

"Get going on your mission. Oh, and don't forget your underwear," she replied simply, making a robotic crane come out of the car, taking the underwear from Diamond's hands and tossing them into Nick's. Diamond could be seen in a fit of laughter, her blonde hair bouncing as she continued chuckling at Nick's pouting and now annoyed face. Pearl chuckled along with Jay as the crane went back inside the trunk, the hood of it shutting as if nothing happened. "And read the guide to the car – I know you haven't. It'll explain the toxins and everything else in the trunk you're confused about. And how to use the cool toys in the car I didn't tell you about. Hop to it, Blondie Boy."

"Fine, but I'm still gonna get you, Pearly."

"Looking forward to it." She pressed the button on her headset once more so Nick couldn't hear what she said and turned to Jay, who was just enjoying the entire scene happen as Nick and Diamond headed into the MGM Grand Hotel and Casino on the screen.

The tattooed man had come down to check on Nick. He’d known Pearl would be keeping a close eye on him. Typically, this was something K or Grasshopper would do; Pearl was used to higher agents coming down to watch the trace cameras. This time, Jay had wanted to and already figured she would as well. Bugs were placed on every agent, tiny audio recorders and cameras, with Pearl's own personal touch, of course. Himitsu Takana, like any agency, kept track of its agents. Of course, this was Nick's first mission since…

Pearl, you have to help me... please... god... Kitana, I have no one else to go to!

She shook the thought away. Because of that, she and Jay obviously wanted to keep an eye on things.

Jay's snickering brought her back to the laboratory she sat in. "That was classic."

"As much as I work, I can afford a little fun," she mused. Really, she and Nick had a history of pulling jokes on each other like that, always careful not to endanger any missions, of course, or K would have their heads on a platter.

It had started when Nick used to prank her during training, so she'd made sure he'd be stuck deciphering 004 speak along with the third part of their trio as Pearl watched, laughing. Since then, they’d had a mischief war between them. So pranking him a little with the underwear, for example, was part of their friendship.

"You should have seen him in his car earlier, Jay. I had it on just in case, but I was busy and distracted from it, 'cause I was working on this new automatic bra-"

He smirked as he tilted his sunglasses down to look at her. "Automatic bra?"

"As in, automatic machine gun, a small one that can fire from the bra. Secret agents... secret weapons."

"I want to be around when Diamond uses it."

"What makes you think I'm making it for Diamond?" She pushed a curly lock away from her face, tucking it behind her ear.

"Seems like her kind of weapon."

"Could be for Red."

"You already made her two specialized weapons."

"Could be for Emerald."

"Nah, she doesn't like stripping unless she's alone with a guy. Besides, she has the sleeping gas bra." A knowing smirk.

"Well, don't assume."

Jay just laughed. "You could give it to Shazam..."

"He can barely handle himself, much less a woman to wear it. Though..." She grinned. "It would be fun to see him cross dress just so he could have an armed weapon.” She blew a stray lock of hair away from her eyes.

It was pretty well-known that easygoing Professor Pearl, who could get along with almost anyone, had little or no patience for JC. She and Nick had that in common, and Jay would always watch the rare times the three of them had a mission. He was just waiting for the day Pearl would use one of her devices to teach him not to try and tell her how to make her gadgets.

"I'd pay to see that. You're too professional to give it to him. What you do to Nick is one thing; K would burst a vein if you did that to JC."

"Could be for me."

Jay laughed loudly and fiercely, his face beginning to turn red. "Like you'd wear that! You're too..."

Professor Pearl gave him a look and he chuckled, regaining his composure quickly. One should never mess with the one who made your weapons. "Sorry, continue."

"I was working on it and wasn't paying attention, ‘til I heard Nick cursing like no tomorrow." She snickered a bit. "Maybe I should have told him I tweaked with his car's iPod just a bit. He battled the thing ‘cause I programmed it to not skip songs every time it played Mambo #5. And of course I had it play more than once."

"Evil."

"Nah, I just imitate it well."

"You think he can handle this, right?"

A nod. "Of course..."

"But you're watching ‘cause you're worried."

A sigh. "You remember the last mission. Hell, you were there with us. Can you blame me?"

"No, and it took out a great agent."

"Justin was one of the best... I wish it turned out differently is all. I wish a lot of things when it comes to that, Jay."

"We all do, Pearl."

The dark-haired agent drummed his fingers against the table as, on the screen, they could see Nick and Diamond head inside the casino, surrounded by many deaf, wanna-be singers. Immediately, she turned the sound on the screen down a bit.

There were far more than they had expected, and their eyes focused on the screen as the two began to interact with others. Any one of them could be the enemy they were looking for.

The older male next to her began focusing on those there to see if he could spot any suspicious-looking people as they began preparing for the first audition.

"If nothing else, this will be interesting."

"They'll get it done."

His eyes took in the surroundings of the laboratory as he ran a hand through his dark strands of hair. "They have to."


± ± ±


Diamond adjusted her audition number on her stomach. Since a woman had pinned it on her, it was too low. She examined the thin sheet of paper carefully, pursing her lips.

“It’s still sixty-nine even if it’s upside down for you,” a male laughed.

“I’m just making sure the sign flatters my figure, Nick,” she answered nonchalantly.

“Well, sideways it’s Cancer.”

Diamond flipped out her phone casually. “Hold still.” She snapped a picture of Nick again and starting texting.

“Who are you sending all this to, anyway?”

“Lancy.” Diamond gave Nick’s butt a short pat. “Wearing the boxers now?”

“What if I wasn’t?” Nick gave her a quick grin.

Diamond ran her hand through her hair lightly. “Well, Lancy gave me the best idea for a song, so I kinda want to audition now.”

“And what song would that be?” Nick crossed his arms.

Diamond winked and put her finger to her lips. “It’s a secret.”

Nick pouted slightly. “Tell me.”

“Entry number 006969,” a male voice called.

Diamond let out a tiny squeal. “Wish me luck, Nick.”

“Just don’t suck like usual,” Nick smirked.

“It’s a proven fact that my sucking is extremely popular.” Diamond stuck her tongue out. She then sauntered over to the door being held open by the production assistant, flashing him a smile. As she walked through the door, his head cocked a bit, watching her hips shake with her seductive walk. Nick couldn’t help but feel a little jealous.

Diamond stood in front of the judges and flashed her smile. “I’m Desiree DuBaiser, and I’ll be singing ‘Hey Mickey’.”

The British judge rolled his eyes and muttered a sarcastic, “Lovely.”

But the female judge in the middle of the panel beamed and nodded perkily. “Great song choice! Whenever you’re ready, sweetheart.”

Diamond put her hands on her hips and gave a suggestive little twirl. And began her meager attempt at dance moves; she was really only good at bump and grind anyway. “Oh Nicky, you're so fine…”

“You're so fine, you blow my mind
Hey Nicky!
Hey Nicky!
Oh Nicky, you're so fine,
You're so fine, you blow my mind
Hey Nicky!
Hey Nicky!
Oh Nicky, you're so fine,
You're so fine you blow my mind
Hey Nicky!”


Diamond turned back to face the judges and gave a little shimmy and a big grin. “Hey Nicky!” She began concocting a dance involving a lot of pirouettes, shimmying, and butt shaking.

“You've been around all night and that's a little long,
You think you've got the right, but I think you've got it wrong.
Why can't you say ‘goodnight,’ so you can take me home, Nicky?
’Cause when you say you will, it always means you won't
You're givin’ me the chills, baby, please baby don't
Every night you still leave me all alone, Nicky.”


Around the chorus, she changed her improvisational butt shaking into a choreographed dance by putting her hand against her forehead and seeming to let out a sigh. Her dance became cute rather than seductive. “Oh Nicky, what a pity you don't understand…”

"You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand
Oh Nicky, you're so pretty, can’t you understand?
It’s guys like you, Nicky
Oh what you do, Nicky
Do Nicky
Don't break my heart, Nicky”


A grin spread across her face as she began strutting toward the judges. “Hey Nicky!” She leaned against the table and began thrusting her hips. She then proceeded to climb on the table and put her hands on the slightly overweight, African American male judge’s shoulders while giving him some sort of table-top impromptu lap dance. “Now when you take me by the hooves…”

“Everyone's gonna know
Every time you move I let a little more show
There's something we can use, so don't say no, Nicky!”


She then crawled over to the British one and repeated her previous display, going as far putting her hands upon his chest. “So come on and give it to me…”

“Anyway you can
Anyway you want to do it, I’ll treat you like a man
Oh please, baby please, don't leave me in a jam, Nicky!”


She put her hands to her heart again as she leaned in closer to older British evaluator. “Oh Nicky, what a pity you don't understand, you take me by the heart…”

He put his hand to her face to stop her singing.

“Desiree, Desiree, Desiree…” Repeating Diamond’s first name, the heavyset black judge shook his head and frowned. “I dunno what’s going on here, but wow… sorry, but that just wasn’t good for me.”

But the perky female judge next to him was all smiles. “I loved your enthusiasm! You put such great energy and spirit into that performance, I think every girl in the room fell in love with ‘Nicky.’”

Listening outside the audition room, Nick groaned.

“… and you’re such a beautiful girl,” the woman continued to gush. “We’re not just looking for a good singer; we’re looking for a performer, and I think you’ve got real star potential. You’re a born entertainer.”

“Okay, Paulette,” the older British judge cut her off in his dry, lolling voice. “Now for some meaningful feedback. Honestly, I thought it was abysmal. You were off-key, it was a poor song choice; even the dancing wasn’t very good. But…” He paused dramatically and arched his brow before finishing, “You’re a pretty girl, and I think you do have a way of captivating your audience, so… I’d like to see what you’d do with a better song. You’re through to the next round.”


± ± ±


The two agents sat, eyes trained on the rows of monitors in front of them, all displaying footage from the hidden cameras they had planted inside the Global Idol auditions. But so far, they hadn’t picked up much of interest, and the dark-haired agent was getting bored. His brown eyes were starting to glaze, while his female companion’s remained sharp, and his butt was growing alarmingly numb. He rose from his swiveling armchair and tried to rub it discretely.

He heard a snicker next to him and turned to find her laughing at him. “Got an itch down there?”

“No,” he snapped and sat down hard, fuming. She must not have known what it felt like to have your butt fall asleep. She had enough junk in her trunk, it probably never happened to her. She had a built-in cushion. Beneath his muscle, he was all bone.

“When are they going to get in? This is bullshit,” he said, trying to take the attention off his rear end as he gestured to the monitors.

All day, they’d watched audition after bad audition play out in the MGM Grand. It pained him to see the contestants mocked and humiliated by the snarky judges. He knew what it was like to be told you weren’t good enough. It hurt. And they were using it as entertainment. If he’d had his way, his agency would have nothing to do with this obnoxious show, but then again, it was a worldwide phenomenon. Of course a villainous organization would want to infiltrate it; they could reach half the world through this show. And so, here he was, watching the cameras and waiting for something to happen.

Suddenly, the woman next to him drew in a sharp breath. “Lookie here,” she said. “We’re in.”

He looked up and saw a familiar-looking blonde sashaying onto the audition stage. Suddenly alert, his brown eyes grew large and round.

Then, “Look!” A clawed hand grabbed his chin and turned his face toward a different camera. As his companion pointed with one long fingernail, he saw what he was supposed to be looking at: the male figure skulking through the shadows in the back of the audition room, heading for the sound booth.

“It’s started,” he observed, eyes flitting anxiously between the dark figure on one camera and the blonde agent screeching an obnoxious rendition of “Hey Mickey!” on the other. “And it looks like we’ve got company.”


± ± ±