Chapter 10

"Why'd you do that?" Brian softly demanded.

"We didn't want you to die, Brian," Howie replied.

Brian wrinkled his nose. "You wanted me to live, even after what I did?  After I allied with Zator?  Your enemy?"

"Your enemy?"? It can't be... "Brian, he's your enemy, too.  He tricked you."

Brian turned his gaze back to the window.  Kevin glanced down and saw him rub his thumb along an old scar on the palm of his right hand.  He'd had that scar since he was eleven and only rubbed it when something really bothered him.

Feminine hands closed around his. "Brian, we can help you," Zanell offered. "If you let us, we can help erase my father's lies."

Brian pulled his hand away from hers and glowered at her.  It was painfully obvious that Zator's words still controlled him.

"Get away from me," he snarled.

Zanell rested her hands on the edge of his bed, surprise on her face. "Brian, we can help-"

"Get out of my sight, princess," he spat. "If it wasn't for you, none of this would have happened."

Zanell rocked back, a gasp of hurt escaping her.  Kevin shifted.  He couldn't let that go unpunished, especially from Brian.  But Brian's glare silenced him.

"Get out," Brian ordered shortly.

Kevin wanted to say something, anything to convince Brian to snap out of Zator's hold on him, but the connection between Kevin's brain and his lips must have temporarily shut down, as he couldn't even open his mouth to speak.  So, in silence he reached down, took Zanell by the elbow and led her from the room.  Howie was already at the door waiting for them.

When the door slid shut behind them, Howie and Kevin glanced at each other, then to Zanell.  After a moment, she shook her head. "I should have expected that."

"Why did he still believe he was Zator's ally?" Howie wondered. "We've got him back, his body's healed..."

"My father is very persuasive, very smooth-tongued as you saw.  And," Zanell offered, "there's always the possibility of hypnosis that Brian never knew about."

"But Brian said that he was treated with respect," Kevin remarked.

"It may have only been that way to bring him further into my father's service.  We won't know for sure until Brian cooperates."

With a frustrated sigh, Kevin closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.  Things were starting to look more hopeless.  If they didn't get Brian back fully, what would they say to Leighanne and the children?

This is exactly why I left.  He opened one eye and studied his companions.  They looked nearly as hopeless and tired as he felt, and he had only been back for a few days.

Something glinted just beyond his vision.  He turned and found himself gazing out of one of the larger window ports.  He moved closer and gazed out at the blackness, the emptiness, of space.  The stars gazed silently back.

"What now?" he murmured.  Nothing felt right. Not out there, here... and definitely with Brian.

Brian was torn... somehow... between Zator and his friends. Kevin couldn't understand how he could be so torn.  It should have been an obvious choice; but then again, what had driven him to Zator's side in the first place?

The desire to be with his family was so strong at that moment that tears filled his eyes.  A hand on Kevin's shoulder made him jump.  He glanced behind to see Zanell gazing at him.  He wiped away the wetness on his cheeks; normally to be discovered crying would have embarrassed him, but at the moment all Kevin felt was tired. Infinitely tired.  By the look in her eyes, she understood.

She was silent for a while before she spoke quietly.  "This just gets harder with every step, doesn't it?"

Kevin nodded. "I don't understand how..." he stopped. "I just don't understand any of this."

"Brian's confused," she said. "Zator caught him at a very vulnerable point in his life and used that to twist his mind and thoughts. If Brian had been in his right, clear-thinking mind, he never would have fallen for the deception."

"You think so?"  A small flicker of hope began to burn. Then something she'd said caught his attention. "Wait... vulnerable?"

She glanced away. "Father uses many methods and tricks to get what he wants. With Brian already on the edge, I don't think it was all that hard to get him to believe my father was his ally. A few sessions of hypnotic suggestion, boosting of ego, and verbal support... Brian believed.  The stresses wore him down," she said sadly. "In all ways, not just the physical. He so wanted an answer, a way to make everything better. So when father stepped in, offering what seemed like the perfect solution... of course Brian jumped.  At least, that's my speculation."

Kevin closed his eyes, the guilt stinging.  If I had been here, I could have stopped all this.  This was his fault. The decision he'd made years ago...  he couldn't just hide at home anymore while his friends risked their lives to save the galaxy.  He had to go back.

"Kevin?  What is it?"

"You were right. I can't stay at home while the others risk their lives.  I have to fix this.  I'm staying."

~~~

Kevin shifted again under the covers, rolling onto his stomach.  A glance at the clock made him groan; it was nearly 2 a.m.  After staring at the wall for another minute he decided to just get up.  If he was still up this late, chances were good that he would not be getting sleep at all.  As he headed for the door, Kevin realized that things were just piling up.  He was way too tense, wasn't used to things being this difficult.  He needed to walk around, let it all out.  Kevin hoped that by the time he returned to his room, he'd be calm enough to sleep.

The silence of the ship at night, for some reason, didn't seem to help.  It was too quiet.  He was used to hearing the sounds of Los Angeles outside the window and here was... nothing.  Absolute silence except for his footsteps.  Looking up, Kevin realized that he was nearing the bridge and thought that looking out at the stars would help; it almost always had back home.  He was a few steps beyond the doorway when he noticed that he wasn't alone.  Brian lounged at the pilot's station, staring out at the heavens.  A part of Kevin wanted to keep walking, to avoid any kind of confrontation.  But he found himself stepping forward anyway.  Brian looked so much older than the last time Kevin had seen him, so tired.  What, exactly, had he forced himself to endure these past eight years?

He glanced over, sitting up when he saw he wasn't alone.  Kevin froze.

"What are you doing here?" Brian finally asked.

"Can't sleep.  Yourself?"

He turned back to the stars without response, and after several seconds Kevin felt it safe to move closer.  He sank into the spot next to Brian and joined him in stargazing.

"Why'd you come back?" he asked out of the blue.

"You know why I came back; to rescue you."

"I didn't need it."

Kevin rolled his eyes. "Sure you didn't.  That's why you wanted to kill yourself when all those powers inside you went haywire.  That's why Howie had to knock you unconscious, to keep that from happening."

"You don't bother to interfere for years," Brian said, anger obvious in his voice. "What gives you the right now?  I could have handled it.  It was my choice, my decision."

"And why did you choose this?" Kevin demanded. "Why in the world would you throw away everything you knew was right and join with our enemy, a man that wouldn't hesitate to kill you if he found you of no more use to him?"

"Our enemy?" he nearly snarled. "Funny, but I don't recall seeing you fighting him recently. Not for the last several years.  What would you know about what we've gone through?   He could have killed any of us at any time he wanted.  But he hasn't."

"That doesn't prove anything!" Kevin grated. "He didn't kill any of us, true, but it wasn't from a lack of trying!"

"You know nothing," Brian said, his voice now full of ice. "I wish you had never come."

"I'm wondering about the wisdom of that choice right now," Kevin said, voice shaking despite his efforts.

"So why did you?"

"Because of Natalie!" Kevin finally revealed.

He paused. "Nattie?"  She was Kevin's princess, but Nattie was the nickname that only Brian was allowed to use.

Kevin tried to swallow past the lump in his throat.  "It was late at night when Zanell came to get me.  The children were already asleep when she arrived.  I'd wanted nothing to do with the amulets anymore, but then Zanell told us that you were missing.  I must have been louder than I'd realized when I protested coming back, because Natalie woke up and joined us.  Then she heard Zanell mention your name, and you know how excited she gets when that happens."

Brian nodded.

"I looked into Nattie's eyes," he croaked, " and I realized that she needs her Uncle Brian in her life.  She needs family, not just Kristin, Spencer and me.  When we found out you were missing... I knew I could never look into those eyes with a clear conscience if I didn't try to find you.  She loves you, Brian, and she treasures that bear you gave her as a newborn." He kept his eyes on the floor, a piece of him not wanting to see his cousin's face. "I agreed to come on this one lone mission... for you, for her.  I never wanted to intrude, to butt in where I'm obviously not wanted or needed." An overwhelming sense of hurt seized his chest, far worse than physical pain. "I'll be out of your hair the minute we get back home."

He didn't wait for Brian to respond.  He had to get out of there.  Kevin stood and hurried to his room, pressing the lock for privacy.  He leaned against the door and squeezed his eyes shut.  He had done all he could for now.  The next move would be from Brian's decision.

Kevin never did make it to sleep that night, instead ended up pacing off and on until morning when he heard the others begin to move around.  A few minutes later came the signal for breakfast.  Could he even eat?  He had to, he rationalized.  They were getting close to home and Kevin wanted to have the energy to greet his family when he returned.

Zanell and Howie were first in the galley, already eating.  They both said greetings as Kevin grabbed a plate and joined them at the table.  Neither asked questions, though, for which Kevin was grateful.  It was obvious he'd missed sleep, and the mirror had confirmed that he looked as bad as he felt.

"We're about ten hours from Earth," Howie finally said. "I'll be glad to get back home for sure."

When Kevin didn't reply, Zanell said, "We still have a lot to sort out."

"At least we have the option now."  Howie leaned back. "The chance to talk and come up with a solution."

Kevin sighed. Talk... He shrugged, deciding not to comment. Nick stumbled in a few minutes later and over to the pot for his morning caffeine kick.  Just as he flopped down beside Kevin, AJ entered and headed straight for the food without even saying hello.  Well, unless you count "Breakfast!" as "Hello."

"Are we there yet?" Nick suddenly whined.

Kevin rolled his eyes.  Some things about that man never change. "Just ten more hours, Nick," he explained. "You can keep yourself occupied for that long, right?"

Nick stuck out his tongue, and then shoved another forkful of food into his mouth as the others laughed.

"Ten hours? That's about nine and a half too long," a voice said from behind.

Brian's tone was hard, not a hint of humor in it at all. It was so unlike the Brian they'd always known... the Brian that Kevin missed more than he could express.

It was Zanell that answered. "And what will you do, once we get back?" she asked flatly.

Brian stepped into view, and they could see his expression.  It wasn't pleasant. "I'm going to make things right again," he declared.

"Meaning?" Howie asked.

"Meaning, I set out to do something and I failed.  I plan to amend that."

"You... you aren't going to contact Zator again, are you?" Howie asked, his eyes wide.

"I'll have to prove my worth all over again," he practically spat. "Thanks to your interference."

"Saving your life isn't what I would call interference," Kevin said. "When we-"

"You're the last one that should talk," he cut off. "First you aren't around when you were desperately needed, and then you come and interfere after all those years... ruining everything!"

"Ruining what?" Kevin demanded, standing. "Your chance to be one of Zator's mindless lackeys?  To be dumped or killed at the first sign of weakness?"

"If you hadn't interfered, I would have become more than that!" A proud smile came to his lips. "He would have looked at me as a surrogate son."

"What?" Zanell shrieked, on her feet and wide-eyed.

Brian sneered. "Yes, princess.  I would have become more powerful than even you, wonder woman that you are.  That was the reward he promised me."

Power.  That was always the problem throughout history.  And now it had corrupted one of the men Kevin had thought it would never take.  Kevin didn't think his hatred of Zator could grow, but he was wrong.  It burned deep in his core.  This had to stop.  Now.  The time for being reasonable and gentle was long over.  If they were going to get through to him... to the real Brian that Kevin prayed still existed... he had to be as blunt as possible.  He spoke just as Brian started for the food.

"I guess you're right, Brian.  You have changed.  The man you are now, we don't even know."

He just smirked and continued toward the food.

Kevin shook his head and crossed his arms. "Shame.  Who's going to be the one to tell your children about what you've chosen-"

Brian froze and glared at him. "You leave my kids out of this," he warned.

"-the side of evil?"  Kevin knew that he had to hit one sensitive spot right after another to get to Brian; it had always worked in the past when he was about to do something stupid.  "And Natalie... She'll be heartbroken when she finds out you don't care anymore."

His fists clenched. "That's enough."

Someone whispered, "Kevin, what are you doing?"

He ignored them. "And Leighanne-"

Brian took a step toward him. "Don't you dare."

Something lingered on the edge of the warning, but Kevin had to keep going. "Would she ever forgive you for what you've done?"

Before he even realized what had happened, Kevin was on the floor blocking Brian's punches. Normally he wouldn't have had too much trouble defending himself, but Brian was coming at him fueled by rage, the likes of which he'd never seen.  Stars flashed, darkness threatened... then the blows stopped.  When Kevin was finally able to focus, he saw a concerned face nearby.

"Easy, Kev.  I've got you."

AJ helped him to a sitting position.  He didn't want to look, but Kevin still found his gaze drawn upward.  Howie and Nick were struggling to hold Brian back.  His face was red with fury.  It was then that Kevin realized his cousin was beyond all reasoning.

"Howie," Kevin ordered around a split lip," do something."

"What should-"

"Make him unconscious."

Howie's startled blink gave way to a look of intense concentration.  Kevin saw Brian falter, just briefly, then suddenly his eyes rolled back and he sank toward the floor.

"I don't know how long he'll be out," Howie said a bit breathlessly once Brian was safely on the floor. "What should we do about this?"

"His mind's gotta be real messed up," AJ remarked. "What did Zator do to him?"

"Howie, maybe you should do a probe of his mind," Zanell suggested as she healed Kevin's injures. "Perhaps we'll see how strong this control is."

Howie swallowed, then nodded. "I'll see what I can find."

He gazed down at the unconscious man and put a hand on his head, eyes narrowing in concentration.  Kevin held his breath, waiting. What would Howie find?  All of a sudden Howie winced.  His eyes snapped shut and he began gasping.  With a cry, he broke away from Brian, eyes wide in shock.

Nick grabbed his arm as the rest crowded around. "What is it, D? What did you see?"

He closed his eyes and drew in a shuddering breath. "There's... darkness, an evil clouding his mind and tainting his spirit."

Zanell gasped.

"Darkness?  What is it?" Kevin asked.

"It's like... a void, so cold and dark that no light could ever penetrate it," he said, struggling with a description. "It was..." He stopped, shaking his head. "It was terrible. And I sensed it was growing."