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Chapter 18

“What a day,” Howie declared as he sank onto the couch in the den and stretched out.

“What a week,” Nick said from his spot in one of the big, comfy armchairs, long legs stretched out in front of him. They had all long ago changed back into their regular clothes, but Nick had either been so tired or just didn’t care that he had his shirt on inside out. “At least, I think it’s only been a week. Anybody know how long we were in the astral plane?”

“Finding Brian in the first place took the most time,” Zanell remarked.

Brian spoke from his spot beside Howie. “How’d you manage that, anyway?”

“Hacked into the planet’s satellites and had them search for any ion trails that could come from a ship.”

They stared.

“You did what now?”

“You can hack into satellites?”

“How does that work?”

“How did you--”

“Daddy?”

Kevin looked up at the sound and saw Liberty shuffling across the carpet, already in her nightgown and dragging what looked like a knit blanket with a monkey head attached to it.

Brian smiled. “Hey, Lady Bug.” He rose from the couch and scooped his daughter up into his arms, where she promptly laid her head on his shoulder and stuck her thumb in her mouth. “Is it bedtime already?”

Her thumb muffled the “Uh-uh” response. Kevin smiled and got up from the recliner, despite the negative response, to let Brian have the chair so he could rock his daughter to sleep. It probably wouldn’t take long, considering the kids had been in near-constant play all day. Brian murmured his thanks, but before he could sit, Benjamin padded into view. Kevin was a little surprised to see that the twins didn’t have matching pajamas on; Benjamin’s pajamas had trains printed on them, while Liberty had monkeys all over her nightgown.

“Hey, little man.” He hugged the toddler to his side. “So, is it not bedtime for you, either?”

“Sing night-night, daddy,” Benjamin pronounced, tugging on Brian’s shirt for emphasis.

“Night-night,” Liberty murmured around her thumb.

Brian’s smile fell. “Yeah, I guess I missed a lot of night-nights, didn’t I?”

“They just won’t go to sleep without it.”

The men looked up to see Leighanne in the doorway. She looked away when they met her gaze. “I… tried to play some of your music for them those first couple weeks, but… I guess I just made it worse.”

Kevin was startled to see the hurt on Brian’s face. What was that about?

Leighanne hesitated, her hands seeming unsure of where to go. “Baylee’s helping Kristin get Spencer into his jammies. I think they’re also trying to keep Natalie from swinging from the fan.”

Kevin laughed, not really surprised. His daughter had lots of family visiting this week, so she’d naturally be too excited for bed. He followed Leighanne and Brian, who each carried a twin back down the hall and upstairs to the guest room. While Natalie wasn’t swinging from the ceiling fan, she was bouncing back and forth across the mattresses Kevin and Kristin had purchased years ago for camping trips or guests, giggling all the way. Baylee watched her now that Spencer was in his pajamas, and shifted from one foot to the other, probably trying to decide whether to join her or to act like he was too old for it. But his parents bringing back the twins seemed to make the decision for him.

The call came for everyone to get into bed. Even then it still took a while for the kids to get under the covers--except for Liberty, who would not let go of her father to get into bed. When they were all finally otherwise settled, Brian started to sing. Kevin watched and listened. He saw a small smile on Baylee’s face; he also noticed that, even though Brian sat between him and Benjamin, Baylee had still scooted as close to the edge of his mattress as possible. Kevin couldn’t blame him. His father had been gone for a month, and not for work. How had all this affected him? Had he tried to be the man of the house? Kevin would have to ask Leighanne later.

After a few songs, Natalie sleepily requested some from Kevin. He wasn’t surprised to see that Spencer had already fallen asleep by the time he finished the first song. The twins were both out, too. He watched Brian and Leighanne gently tuck their daughter into bed, making sure she had her monkey blanket still tucked under her arm.

When the songs were finally over and goodnights had been whispered, the two couples got up to leave.

“Dad?”

Baylee had lifted onto one elbow. Fear tightened his face.

“What’s up, Bubba?” Brian asked, taking his hand from the light switch he’d been about to flip.

“Are you… you’re gonna stay, right? You’re not gonna leave again except for Backstreet Boys stuff? You’re gonna be home?”

He must have heard about what happened with Brian’s amulet that afternoon. Kevin turned to his cousin and was surprised to see uncertainty.

“Well--”

“Of course he is, Bubba,” Leighanne interrupted. “Dad’s not gonna leave us again. We know what happened, and it’s all fixed. He’s coming home.”

Did Brian just blink back tears? There must have been something Kevin was missing, but he couldn’t figure out what. He turned back to see a huge look of relief on Baylee’s face.

“Good.” He slid back down and pulled the covers back up around his chin, keeping his gaze on his parents. “I would have missed you too much.”

Brian swallowed and smiled back. “Me, too, Bubba. Good night.”

He flicked the light off, and the two couples stepped out into the hallway. When the door was mostly shut behind them, Brian turned to his wife and whispered, “Leighanne, are you sure?”

Kevin frowned. Sure about what? But Kristin started tugging him down the hall before anybody could say anything more.

“What was that about?” he asked when they were back downstairs and out of earshot.

“If they want you to know, they’ll tell you.”

“Wait, so you know what it’s about?”

“Only bits and pieces from what Leighanne told me while you were all gone looking for Brian.” She held up a hand to ward off more questions. “And again, if they want to tell you and the others what’s going on, they will. Don’t push.”

But Kevin wanted to push. He needed to know what he’d been missing out on these past eight years, especially in the six years since he’d left Backstreet Boys. Sure, he knew a few details thanks to Howie and AJ, had purchased the two albums they’d recorded in his absence; but after what had happened recently, and those cryptic comments just a minute ago, Kevin knew something else was going on. Leighanne and Brian’s reappearance kept him silent, though.

They returned to the den to see Howie, AJ, Nick and Zanell waiting for them.

“How’d it go?” Howie asked.

“Better than the last month,” Leighanne remarked as she and Brian sat beside him on the sofa, “now that their dad’s back.”

Howie smiled. “Good. I offered to sing to them while they stayed with us. But they only wanted you, Brian.”

“Thanks for trying,” Brian said. “I’m glad you were there for my family when I wasn’t.”

“Why did that happen in the first place?” AJ demanded. “How’d you get mixed up with Zator and that crazy woman? And how long ago?”

“It was the same year the twins were born,” Brian began. “Springtime, I think, maybe earlier. I don’t know how she did it, but Nerezza first showed up in a dream. We were in the studio in the dream, and all four of us were there. Nerezza was beside me on a couch, but it was like you three--” he waved a finger at Howie, AJ, and Nick, --didn’t even see her. I don’t think you even saw me, come to think of it. You guys kept rotating who was in the recording booth and I didn’t even get up.”

“Proof that it was definitely a dream, then,” Nick remarked with a smirk. “Because we would have dragged you into that booth and glued your feet to the floor until you’d sung your parts.”

Everyone laughed.

“Yeah, you would have. Maybe she had control of the dream, for all I know. She is that powerful. Anyway, she said she’d seen how hard we’d been working trying to stop Zator, saw how tired we were and how hard it was to defend our home. She offered to help.” He shrugged. “I must have said ‘no’ or something, because she just smiled and told me to think about it. She was also rolling a little ball of energy around in her hand, like one of those massage balls for your hands.”

“So you didn’t accept her help then,” Howie said. “She tried again?”

Brian nodded. “I think it was another month or so before I had the dream again--same setting, same offer for help. But I still must have refused then, too, because the dream kept coming back. Only this time, it was every couple of weeks. I even told Leighanne about it; I was afraid the fighting combined with Backstreet stuff was wearing me out so much I was starting to crack.”

“Is that when you asked for the break?” Nick asked. “I remember you needed a long one after the twins were born, where we needed to step back from appearances as a group until the tour for This is Us.”

“That’s the one.”

“I’d thought it was just to help Leighanne with the twins and Baylee, so she could recover properly.”

“That was just as big a part of it, too. I figured that as long as I had that break, I might be able to rest and have the energy to fight Zator. It only sort of helped, in the end. That’s when the attacks increased and you two--” he motioned to Howie and AJ, “--got so badly injured.”

Kevin looked over to see the two men nod in understanding.

“In fact,” Brian revealed, “it was while AJ was still in a coma that Nerezza came to see me when I was awake.”

Zanell spoke, “So she’s not limited to the astral plane.”

Brian made a face. “I’m still not really sure.”

“What do you mean?”

Brian glanced at his wife, who looked back in concern, her eyes wide. Understandable, Kevin thought. This crazy woman had violated their home and family with her schemes.

“You and Howie were trying to heal AJ back at the base,” he said. “I’d just gotten home, and I was so exhausted I had to just sit and rest for a minute before I could even work up the energy to climb upstairs and get some sleep. I know I closed my eyes for a bit. When I opened them again, I saw movement in the mirror.”

Leighanne gasped. “She was in our home?”

He held up a hand in a calming gesture. “Let me finish. When I turned around to look, nobody was there. She was there in the mirror, though, and scolded me for not accepting her help in the first place.”

AJ scoffed. “Seriously?”

Brian nodded. “She said she came to make the offer one last time, then she’d leave me alone and it would be up to me. She held up that little ball she’d had in all of my dreams and said that when I finally wanted her help, wanted a taste of the power she could offer us all, then all I had to do was crush the ball in my hand, let her power soak in and take over.”

“And that didn’t sound suspicious to you?” Leighanne asked.

Brian frowned at her. “Of course it sounded suspicious. That’s why I didn’t use it right away.”

“But if she was in the mirror, how did you get that ball?” Zanell asked.

Brian shook his head. “I have no idea how she did it, but I watched as she walked over to the fireplace and set the ball on the mantel. Then she disappeared. And when I turned to look, there it was.”

“Did you use it?”

“Not right away. I think I carried it in my pocket another couple of months before it got bad enough - or maybe that I felt desperate enough - to use it.”

Kevin finally spoke. “What happened?”

Brian sighed heavily. “It was the day we’d been forced to split up farther than we’d ever gone before to fight Zator’s soldiers and droids.”

Kevin looked over in surprise when Howie, AJ and Nick cursed at the comment.

“Yeah, that was a real bad day,” AJ remarked. “I actually thought we were gonna die.”

Kevin’s jaw dropped. He’d been off trying to live a normal life while they had nearly died, and he never knew. The guilt hit him again, hard.

“I did, too,” Brian admitted. “That’s why I used it that day. I was hiding, trying to catch my breath, when I finally remembered that it was in my pocket. I could already feel the energy pulsing from it as I pulled it out.” One palm curled a little, as though holding the ball again. “But when I finally crushed it in my hand like she said to…” he shook his head, “it was unbelievable. I wasn’t exhausted anymore, and it was like my all senses got a hundred times stronger. I somehow knew when a soldier or droid would show up and I’d take them out so easy it was like nothing.”

“But it wore off,” Howie pointed out. “I remember that day. I saw you go from totally energized to sheer exhaustion right before you collapsed.”

Kevin’s gaze whipped back to Brian, who nodded, his face clouded with confusion. “And I must have slept through the rest of the day and into the night. Thankfully, we didn’t have a show that day. I doubt I would have been able to function. When I woke up, the sun was just starting to come up. Leighanne couldn’t believe I’d let myself get so exhausted and scolded me for it, pushing for another break.”

“And then we had another fight,” Leighanne revealed, “about you four being amulet bearers, how maybe it was finally time for you all to give it up.”

Kevin blinked in surprise when the others all looked away. “I take it this is an old argument. How often does it come up?”

“A couple times a year,” Nick replied. “That Brian’s told us about, at least.”

“Or that we’ve overheard,” Howie added. “But since only three of us can or will use the amulets now, maybe it’s time to consider it.”

“After we hear the rest of the story,” AJ said. “Brian, when did you actually… what’s the phrase I need to use? Join her? Accept her help?”

“And why didn’t you tell us about it?” Nick asked. “You just said she’d offered it for--”

“I did,” Brian said pointedly, with a glare. “Or I tried. Several times over the next year. But you guys never took me seriously. You just brushed it off and didn’t believe anything else existed to help other than getting Kevin back.”

The other three winced. Clearly, they remembered. Brian went on, calmer now.

“I never knew how to get in touch with her to let her know I wanted her help. Never knew her name till after. So I just kept working harder, fighting harder, trying to do what I could to help the team.”

“Is that when I started having to heal you after every mission?” Zanell asked.

Brian nodded. “I must have been in real bad shape when she finally came. I remember drifting in and out of consciousness. Sometimes I saw faces above me--you guys, I think--sometimes I was alone. But when I was out, that’s when Nerezza was there in my dreams again. Only this time, I had to prove that I was worthy of her help. That’s what she meant when she said I begged.”

“So when did that finally happen?” Nick asked.

Brian shook his head. “I’m honestly not sure. I just know it was some time after the twins turned one.”

“Well, when did you find out what a wicked witch she was?”

Brian winced. “Not until it was too late.”

Something about Brian’s tone of voice put Kevin on alert. “What do you mean?”

Blue eyes flicked up to his, then darted away so fast he wasn’t sure there had even been movement. The realization hit. “On the way home?”

“After Howie knocked me out the first time,” Brian admitted quietly.

“So, everything that happened after,” Howie said slowly, “that was her? She was controlling you?”

It physically hurt to see the pain on Brian’s face. “Not… entirely… I think.”

They waited in tensed silence while Brian searched for the right words. Finally, starting slowly, he said, “It was like… I don’t know… like she just… opened up and amplified all the frustration and fatigue and helplessness I’d fought ever since Kevin left and shoved them all up where I couldn’t ignore them and it all came out on the ship.”

He met Kevin’s gaze, then the others. “I’m sorry, Kev. For everything. All of you. I really am.”

None of them could speak right away, not even Kristin, who had sat there silently listening to the whole thing. Kevin turned to see tears on her cheeks. He pulled her close, kissed her cheek, then turned back to Brian. But Brian had turned to his own wife, guilt pinching his face.

“I guess Nerezza was influencing me more than I realized,” he said. “Especially at home.”

“You weren’t yourself,” Leighanne murmured.

Brian nodded.

“How do you mean?” AJ asked.

Leighanne reached out and clasped Brian’s hand tightly in her own. She murmured something too quiet for the rest of them to hear. Whatever it was seemed to give Brian the strength to explain.

“I thought I was still the same dad I’ve ever been,” he whispered, “but… I guess my temper was shorter with everyone. Leighanne told me several times that I’d become distant, sharp. She couldn’t tell if I loved any of them anymore, especially her. One day…”

He swallowed hard. A hard knot settled itself in Kevin’s chest as he waited. One fear rose up, and he prayed it wasn’t true.

Brian took a deep breath to continue, but Leighanne spoke instead. “A little over a month ago, a month and a half, maybe, I suggested he find an apartment nearby.”

Kevin stared, heart dropping to his feet. It couldn’t be.

“I told Brian he could see the kids during the day, once I said so,” she went on, “but once they went to bed… I wanted him out of the house.”