Ashley sat on the steps leading to the boardwalk waiting for AJ to arrive. She knew he was going to be pissed but she prayed she could convince him to not say anything to Denise.
She was angry with herself for being stupid enough to fall for all of Derek’s games and mad at him for thinking she would be that easy. She knew AJ was going to yell at her when he got there and she was trying hard to hold back her tears. She saw his truck pull into the parking lot and she quickly wiped her eyes as the truck came to a stop in front of her. She could see Marcus was driving and she could see the pissed off expression on AJ’s face. She climbed into the backseat just waiting for him to explode.
“Are you really serious right now?” AJ said turning to face her. “What were you thinking sneaking out of the house…and don’t pull that silent treatment crap on me. I want answers or I’ll let mom get them from you.”
“I just wanted to get out of the house and have some fun.” She said tears building up in her eyes again. “It was stupid.”
“You’re damn right it was stupid! Something could have happened to you!” he yelled at her causing the tears she had been fighting back to begin to fall. “What is going on with you lately?”
“Nothing.” She wiped her eyes as more tears fell. “Can we just go home.”
“No. Not until you tell me what’s going on with you. I mean sneaking out of the house? I thought you were smarter then that.”
“There was this cute guys and I wanted to spend some time with him.”
“You risk being grounded for ever or worse getting hurt for some guy you barely know? You didn’t even know what kind of party he was taking you to. What if he would have brought you somewhere and tried to take advantage of you Ashley? You need to start thinking.”
“I know it was really stupid.” Ashley stared down at her hands.
He looked at her trying to study her face. He could read her like a book and he knew there was something else going on.
“Ashley did something happen tonight?” he asked but she wouldn’t answer him. “Ashley look at me right now.”
She looked up at him her eyes full of tears.
“Did he do something to you? Who is he I’ll fucking kill him” he said about to jump out of the truck.
“No, nothing happened.” She said quickly before he went on a rampage killing every guy on the beach. “He just got some mixed signals.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” he yelled again.
“Can this just wait until tomorrow?” she asked.
“Look me in the eyes and tell me nothing happened and we can finish this conversation tomorrow.” AJ sighed knowing neither of them were in the state of mind to talk rationally.
“I swear nothing happened.” She looked him dead in the eyes. “He’s just a jerk, that’s all.”
“Let’s get home.” AJ said to Marcus and he pulled away.
“You’re not getting out of talking about this tomorrow though.” He warned her. “Cuz like I said before you either explain to me or explain to mom.”
“Ok.” She sighed staring out the window.
He looked at her and was still uneasy about what had really gone on that night but he knew he had to drop it. If he pushed her too much she would close up again.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ashley laid in bed the next morning staring at the ceiling. She really hadn’t slept much that night. Although she had been up for a while she was too afraid to get out of bed. She still wasn’t sure exactly what AJ was expecting from her today but she was going to wait as long as possible to find out.
About twenty minutes later there was a knock on her door. She rolled over to see AJ poking his head in.
“Good you’re up.” He smiled at her “Mom just went out for a little.”
She sighed and sat up in bed not saying anything.
“There’s breakfast out…why don’t you eat a little some thing and then me and you can talk.” He said as she got out of bed and threw on a sweatshirt. She just nodded and walked by him and into the kitchen.
Ashley wasn’t in the mood for eggs so she settled for a bowl of cereal and some toast. She could see AJ out of the corner of her eye lingering around the doorway waiting for her to finish. She finished up her breakfast and put her empty bowl in the sink.
“Where do you wanna talk?” he asked as she turned back to him.
She just shrugged and bit her lip nervously.
“Living room ok?” he asked and she just nodded and made her way into the room taking a seat at one end of the couch pulling her knees up to her chest.
“I’m not going to yell at you or anything…don’t be so tense.” He took a seat at the opposite end and faced her.
“Sorry.” She mumbled a little switching to sit with her legs crossed under her. “So…”
“Are you excited to be out here finally?” he asked trying to lighten the mood. He hadn’t spoken to her in a while so he wanted to take the chance to catch up with her while he could. Ashley again just nodded.
“Ash…in order to have a conversation you kinda have to talk back.” He half smiled at her.
“I just feel so stupid.” She finally said looking up at him tears in her eyes again.
“What happened last night?” AJ asked concerned.
“Nothing, honest.” She said not wanting to get into detail about everything that went on.
She knew she had made a mistake, so many different outcomes played through her head. She was stupid to have gone off with someone she didn’t know. She barely slept the night before. Every time she closed her eyes a different scenario of what could have happened to her played throughout her mind.
“Ashley I know something happened, why wont you just talk to me about it.” AJ took her hand and she looked up at him.
“I just feel so stupid.” She let the tears fall from her eyes. “He was just really cute and I thought he liked me.”
“You need to tell me what happened…start from the beginning.” AJ was beginning to get nervous that something serious happened on that beach.
“I met this guy at the beach yesterday and he was really nice.” She started with a deep breath. “Matt has been the only guy who ever liked me so when he was flirting with me I was excited. He was older and he had a car and he was hot so I flirted back.”
AJ looked at her urging her to continue.
“He invited me to the party and I really wanted to go. You know I’m no good at making friends so I figured I could meet people from school there. I knew I couldn’t bail out without looking like a dork, especially when he kept saying that I wasn’t like the typical freshman girls at school.” She quickly wiped her eyes and continued. “So he picked me up and the whole way there he kept complimenting me and being really sweet, he even opened the door for me.” She smiled a little wishing things had stayed that good.
“So what happened to make you want to leave?” AJ asked.
“Well like I said everything was going good. Everyone at the party was really cool and all so he asked me if I wanted to dance and so we were dancing for a little and then he kissed me.” She stopped quickly trying to gauge his expression. He just raised an eyebrow at her and she shook her head.
“I’m fourteen Alex, I can kiss boys.”
“Just keep going.” He said.
“Well there was a lot of people around and I think it’s gross when other people make out in public…” she tried to continue but he cut her off.
“Making out? There’s a difference between making out and just kissing.” He said firmly.
“Oh don’t be so naïve. I’m not some little prude princess. You caught me making out with a boy remember? Now would you like me to finish or not?” she rolled her eyes. He sighed and motioned her to continue not sure how much he wanted to hear the rest of this.
“So then he tried to grab my butt and I yelled at him kinda. He said he was sorry and asked me to take a walk with him on the beach.” She saw AJ’s facial expression change. She knew he wasn’t stupid he probably took plenty of ‘walks’ on the beach with girls.
“So we walked for a little and then he started kissing me again and everything was ok until he tried to take it further.” She bit her lip nervously.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” AJ raised an eyebrow. She could see he was getting madder.
“He wanted to…” she trailed off knowing he understood her.
AJ was about to speak but she cut him off.
“I didn’t do anything with him I swear.” She said quickly. “I’m not that kid of girl. I yelled at him and told him that I wouldn’t have sex with him. He pretty much told me that that I played him and made him think that I would. I told him that saying I was fun didn’t mean I was easy. Then he proceeded to tell me how my popularity would be set at school if I was with him and that I’d be stupid to give that all up all because I wouldn’t put out.” She saw AJ fuming, ready to kill, she was so glad that he didn’t hear any of this the night before or Derek might be dead.
“I pretty much told him that I’d rather have my dignity and self respect and he told me good luck getting home…hense me calling you. As much as I didn’t want to I figured it was better then mom.” She finally finished looking at him and just waiting for him to go postal.
“Who the hell is this guy?” he spoke after a moment. His voice sounded very calm, a little too calm for Ashley’s liking.
“I’m not telling you Alex, you’d kill him.”
“Damn right I’d fucking kill him. He tried to take advantage of you!” his calmness was now nowhere in sight.
“I already handled it. Nothing happened, it’s done and over with.”
“But Ashley something could have happened! There’s not much of a fight that you could put up against a guy. He could have easily done whatever he wanted to you. Do you not realize that?”
“I’m not stupid Alex I know that! I barely slept last night because all I could think about was what if?” the tears were beginning to fall from her eyes again as she remembered the dreams she had the previous night of Derek forcing himself on her. The dreams were so vivid and real it was almost as if it actually did happen.
“I know you’re not a little kid anymore and you’re having all these different feelings and stuff but you have to start making smarter decisions…”
“We are not having “the talk”.” She cut him off.
AJ couldn’t help but laugh. “All I’m trying to say is there’s not always gonna be someone there to help you out of the messes.” AJ said placing a hand on her shoulder as she wiped away some of her tears. “And I’d probably have a heart attack but when you’re ready to start having sex, which I’m hoping won’t be for a long, long…extremely long time, if you have any questions you can talk to me.”
“Long, long time…right.” She turned away a little. She knew he would freak out on her if he knew the truth so she just kept quiet.
“I’m really glad you called me last night.” He said after a moment. She was glad he hadn’t noticed her hesitance. “Not so much the circumstances…but I’m glad you could count on me for something.”
“You’re not off the hook. I’m still mad at you.” She said looking back at him.
“I know…but it’s a start, right?” he asked hopefully.
“Are you gonna tell mom?”
“I think this can stay between us…as long as you promise me that you won’t do something like this again.”
“I promise.” She smiled at him. “I’ll be smarter.”
“There’s one more condition.”
“Which is?” she gave him an uncertain look. He stood up and opened his arms wide grinning at her awaiting a hug.
“You’re not gonna make this easy are you?” she shook her head.
“C’mon. You know you wanna.” He egged her on widening his arms more.
She sighed laughing as she got up from the couch and hugged him. He joked a little at first rocking them back and forth then pulled her in tighter really hugging her. He pulled away and looked at her with serious in his face.
“Please tell me that we’ll be ok again.”
She smiled at him and pulled him back into another hug. “Eventually.”
He smiled at the hope that eventually would come soon.
“You know I love you right?” he asked as she pulled away from him.
“I know.” She smiled and started back for her room. When she was at the doorway she turned back around. “I love you too.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
sorry this update took forever I had a big project due this week that consumed my life...but the wait was worth it I promise! ENJOY! and please leave feedback on this chapter it was one of the hardest ones i've had to write and i wanna know what more of you guys think THANKS!
