He stared at her for a minute, his lips still damp from her kiss. In her pools of green, he read something different from her than a desire of wanting to stop. He watched her take a breath, whether it be the courage to continue or the courage to walk way from him, Nick couldn’t tell.
He looked around them; they were far enough away from the house where no one could see them. Trees on the embankment lined the dock and encased them in branches of privacy. Only the stars and a couple clouds were peeking through, spying. Nick concluded that she couldn’t have been afraid of someone catching them. It was something she was feeling internally that was stopping her.
Nick’s chest began to feel heavy. He had made a huge mistake. Again. He had to turn around and leave now before he permanently damaged any relationship he had left with her. Wordlessly, he turned from her and took a step. Before he could take another one, his arm was grabbed and was spun around to meet Bree.
“Are you walking away from me?” She demanded. “Again? One more time, Nick? Why, because that’s easiest for you?”
Nick flinched at her words as her eyes flashed with anger.
“The last time I saw you, I just handed over my heart because I thought I was in love with you. But I never got the chance to find that out. Because you left. You had to go, yes, but you didn’t have to completely disappear from my life. How are you any different than my mother?”
Nick felt like he was going to be sick. He reached out for her shaking hand, but she stopped him.
“I got over you, and now you’re back.”
“Bree,” Nick demanded her silence, and when she was quiet, he asked meekly: “You’re over me?”
She crossed her arms and looked away for a minute. When she spoke again, her voice was even toned but tainted with her hurt.
“You just come back into my life without any warning whatsoever because you want to what? Try out your new feelings? Because you’re bored with your life? Because you don’t have a girlfriend right now? I'm your back up. Your Plan B, right? Your retirement plan from bachelor living?"
"You know that's not true, I-"
"So you take this little excursion out to my mom’s to fulfill some kind of selfish, fantasy driven quest?"
"Bree, I know why you're so pissed off but if you would just listen to me-"
"You’re just talking, Nick." She sniffled. Was she crying? "I want my friend back. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, and you’re going to walk away from me just like that?”
Nick grabbed her wrist firmly this time, although she tried to pull away. She wasn't going to interuppt him anymore. He held up her against him and her stubborn attempt at distance faded slightly. He held both her shoulders and said with conviction, “Bree – shut up.”
Feelings Nick had no idea still existed rushed back into him all at once. She needed him. Tension stuck between the two of them like a brick wall. Nick reached out and touched her bottom lip with his thumb. Slowly, he shortened the distance between the two of them and met his mouth to hers. She gave him a stiff response at first before it turned into a hungry one. All the feelings Nick had no idea still existed came pouring out of him and into their kiss. His fingers dug into her back with a feeling of crazy longing, and she he was convinced she was answering him with the same.
As their kiss deepened and spun completely out of their control, Nick pushed her up against the trunk of one of the trees. Without any regard for the past or the future, Nick lifted her legs up to wrap around his waist and she didn’t reject him. He ran his hand up the outside of her thigh until he barely reached her hip, and then he stopped. He could feel her warm mouth pressing against his, egging him on. He wasn’t sure he could stop even if they both wanted to. She scraped her nails against the base of his neck with such a passion, he wanted to rip every single article of clothing she had on, off. He pressed his palm against the nape of her back, as if she could melt into him. He trailed kisses down her neck; she began to unbutton his shirt. She ran her lanky fingers down his exposed chest, sending goose bumps across his skin.
Crickets sang out in the night surrounding them; lightening bugs danced in the thick summer air. Nick felt like he was in the middle of a movie or a love song – a song he had always sang but never actually experienced. She was becoming his, kiss by passionate kiss. Or was she?
Nick cut off their kiss and pushed himself back by the Oak. The break of their mouths made a sloppy smacking sound as Bree asked him, “What’s wrong?”
She should already know the answer, and if she did not, then Nick was an even bigger asshole than he thought himself to be now.
Don’t go and be brave now, Carter. He thought to himself. Don’t be some hero in those stupid teen dramas.
He couldn’t keep playing her like this. Once years ago, now this? He wanted to go through with this; his eyes roamed her body and he ached in the worst way to feel her again. A decade ago was too long, too, too, damn long. He wanted her and even more, he didn’t want to think it through. But he had to – God damn it all to hell, he had to.
“We should think about this.” Nick fought himself to spit out.
“You just show up here,” Bree was out of breath. “Like you’ve been reading my mind lately, and you’ve got all these feelings to express and I’ve got all these feelings to actually deal with, in reality now, instead of by myself.”
Nick began to panic a little. “Do you want me to go? Is that it? Because I’ll go right now and we can act like this whole thing never happened.”
Bree’s face twisted into hurt. “I can’t do that; can you?”
Nick shook his head slowly. “No.”
“I don’t understand any of this.”
“Neither do I.” Nick agreed. “But I do know one thing – I don’t want to lose you again. I walked away from you, for real, in Florida. I hurt you. You can deny it, but I know I did.”
Nick didn’t see any argument rising up inside of Bree. “Yeah, you did.” She looked down at the grass and rested her back against the tree. “But you need to know something, and maybe – no, it will probably change your mind about me.”
Nick knew that she wasn’t perfect – he wasn’t that naïve. A sickening curiosity claimed him – the expression that spread over her face made him second guess wanting to know anything. Whatever it was, right now, he could care less. What could be that bad anyway? Unless she was sick and dying, God forbid, or moving to another country, or if she had decided that lesbianism was her sexuality of choice…
“I’m engaged.”
Oh.
Nick would’ve taken the lesbianism over that statement.
Chapter End Notes:
This is short update, I know but it's almost two in the morning here & I have school... x) I'm trying not to let this spin out of my control and turn out a little bit like Dawson's Creek or something along those lines. I'm midly obsessed with that show & even though it's done with I don't want my subconscious creeping into my story line with her and Nick. I want it to be as original as it can be. But with as many fanfics as there are out there, storylines can defintely be repeated. I think too much!!! Just tell me what you think. Thank you :)
