CHAPTER SEVEN: Da Da Dada
It's been a week since Casey left and Nick temporarily moving in with me. Remember when she said it was only going to be a couple of days? As expected, it was going to be more than a week. That's what you get when your significant other is in the high ranks of her job. She calls in making sure everything is okay and that Nick isn't driving me too crazy. Honestly, it hasn't been too bad. It's definitely kept my mind off Casey not being around. He's kept me occupied by going to the beach, playing laser tag, hanging out the Santa Monica Pier, and among other adventures. He also wreaks havoc at work for me lately but in a good way. He keeps me company at the office, spread out on the couch as we have our conversation, watching me in frustration and happiness while I talk to Rolling Stone or Old Navy and he's even sat in a few advertising pitches making funny faces to make me lose my cool. There hasn't been one dull moment thus far.
"I don't sleep motherfucker off that yak and a durban, doin 120 gettin head while I'm swervin, damn Natalie, you a crazy chick, yo, shut the fuck up and suck my dick!" I rapped or practically yelled in the shower rinsing my hair. "I'm bustin dudes mouths like gushers motherfucker, pull up on NBC and smack the shit outta Jeff Zucker, what you want Natalie? To drink and fight! What you need Natalie? To fuck all night!"
"Hey Aude, have you seen my sweater?" Nick announced himself as he walked into my bathroom.
I jumped in shock, grabbing my chest and looked at his reflection through the shower curtain, "Holy shit, you scared the crap out of me!"
"Sorry," Nick chuckled. "I was just asking to see if you knew where my sweater is."
"Which one? You brought over tons."
"It's the ...." He trailed off as I heard him shuffling around, looking into my dirty clothes basket. "Woah, how much red underwear do you have?!"
"Nick!"
"There must be hundreds in here! I've never seen someone own so much red before."
"Get the hell out of there!" I whined. "Which sweater were you looking for?"
"The one with the stripes, uh...."
"The green, white and the black? It's probably in the dryer."
"Okay, I'll go check."
Then I heard him lift the toilet seat up and down.
"Did you just check in my toilet to see if it was there? Because I totally flushed it."
"Hey, you never know. I'm checking everything just in case."
"Well in that case, have you checked the sewerage? It could be floating around there."
"If I'm desperate to find it, I'll dive in there."
Then there was silence.
"Well are you going to check the laundry room?"
"In a minute."
"Are you waiting for me to come out of the shower?"
"I was hoping to catch the 9am peep show."
"Sorry but the show is currently on hiatus. The girl has been eating too many Doritos."
"Not fair, Livingstone," Nick paused for a moment. "C'mon, just one breast before I go back to the Vietnam War."
"Get out!"
"One ass cheek?"
"Fuck off Carter!" I yelled in between my stifles of laughter.
"Okay, okay!" He exclaimed before exiting the bathroom.
Shortly after I had finished getting ready and putting on my makeup, Nick walked into my room wearing the striped sweater with a huge grin on his face, "Found it!"
"Thank god. If you didn't, you'd have no choice but go shirtless." I replied sitting at my vanity as I put on my eyeliner.
"That's not a bad thing for you."
"I guess. It is nice to see a hot sexy shirtless guy around every once and a while."
"Yeah...." Nick trailed off. "You just called me hot and sexy."
"So?"
Nick grinned, "I'm sorry but I have to gloat a little bit."
"Yeah sure, enjoy. It's not like I haven't said that to you before."
"I know but....." Nick stared at me for a moment then chuckled.
"What?"
"You are so in love with me, that's why you said that." Nick folded his arms and smiled in satisfaction.
"Because those compliments, whatever they are, equal to long lasting love," I turned around to face him. "Should I tell Casey it's over between us?"
"Yeah. Tell her we're going to Vegas to get married and have a million Carter babies."
"Okay sure," I nodded. "But wait, she won't believe me. I'm not into bonding with male reproductive organs. Sorry."
"You have to do something about that."
"Many years too late for that." I laughed.
"By the way," Nick began. "Next time you sing in the shower, pick something that's more smoothing. That's the reason why you look like you want to kill someone before you go to work."
I shook my head. "No wonder Paul looks scared of me when I get to work."
"That poor assistant of yours. Getting heat for no reason."
"Yeah... I should really singing that in the morning. It was either that or the Copacabana. I need something more soothing."
"How about Phil Collins?"
"I think I'd rather drink poison."
"Me too."
"But you have to admit, All Against Odds is the shit when you're in the mood for it."
"Oh yeah," Nick began to sing. "How can I just let you walk away, just let you leave without a trace...."
"When I stand here taking every breath with you...." I sung in return. "That song gives me the goosebumps every time."
"I think we should start a band. You on vocals, me on the drums, Chris and Anthony on guitar and bass."
"More importantly, what's going to be our band name?"
"How about.... Cyclone Crush?"
"So we suddenly became an emo band? No. How about Super Fantastic Robotic Fun Time?"
"Nah. Maybe if we did Japanese electro pop. How about Nick and Audrey featuring two other dudes?"
"Like Sonny and Cher," I thought for a moment. "I like that. But Chris will be mad since he's not the star and leave the band."
"Then Anthony will leave because Chris left. Then I'll leave because I have to tour and you'll leave because you've got an ad agency to run."
"We lasted exactly 12 hours. It's way longer than any one hit wonders." I laughed.
"So, what are we doing today again?"
"Finding a bridesmaid dress for Sasha's wedding, particularly in the canary yellow area."
"Oh yeah I forgot about that. That's like in a month at Santa Barbara?"
"No, not anymore. The farm they were going to have it at, something about snakes and scorpions roaming around, so they decided to move it back home."
"That's cool. At least none of your family has to fly all the way from Connecticut anymore."
I nodded as I stood up and put on my shoes, "It'll be great for her to have a hometown wedding anyway. It's so much better for her than creepy crawlies running around her garter. She'd be giggling and screaming all throughout the wedding when it's meant to be serious and beautiful."
"That's more of your speed. I can put ants down your dress before you walk down the aisle when you get married."
"You know, some people may see that as mean but not to me. I'll love every minute of it. Does that make me weird?"
"Now's the time you ask if you're weird? Oh honey," Nick trailed off laughing. "You've been weird ever since I met you, if not since you were born."
"Awww, aren't you sweet." I grazed my hand against his cheek.
"So will you show me a little skin now?" Nick flirted tracing a finger down my arm.
"No," I turned to my dresser to put on my earrings.
"Fine..." Nick mumbled. "Man, I don't think I've seen Sasha since she threw us that party when we toured there last year. That was an awesome night." Nick laughed lightly at the brightest memory from that night.
"Oh god," I groaned. "I so want to forget about that. I thought we were over with the drunken stories?"
"With you, it's never over."
"I really don't want to be reminded."
"I remember it like it was yesterday," Nick ignored my comment. "You went going through so much champagne and Sam Buca shots because you hadn't had a drink in two weeks. You probably drank two weeks worth of alcohol. Halfway through the night, you just disappeared. Everyone thought you'd passed out in the guestroom. Then 10 minutes later, you came running out of the house in your underwear and jumped in the pool."
Covering my face with hands, I replied, "That was so not cool."
"It wasn't that bad. I was pretty drunk too."
"Didn't you try to pull me out but I dragged you in with me into the pool or something?"
"Something like that," Nick chuckled. "Then we ran up to the bathroom to shower to get the chlorine off. You and I were screaming on the top of our lungs, 'Get this shit off me now!'"
I held onto my stomach as we both roared with laughter, "Holy shit, we're a lethal combination."
"We really are," Nick smiled. "And that's why you shou-"
"I'm not flashing you."
"Dammit." Nick said under his breath.
Chapter End Notes:
The Lonely Island - Natalie's Rap
Phil Collins - All Against Odds
