Will You Be... By Teri

Chapter One: Some Hearts Just Get All The Right Breaks

Despite the steam escaping from the manhole covers throughout the already bustling streets of the city that never sleeps, a buttery sweet smell of fresh frosting and rolled fondant wafted out the open windows of Hearth and Home Cakes located in upper Manhattan. Inside the kitchen Marie De Luca stood wiping her hands with a damp towel grinning at the large four-tiered wedding cake she'd just finished. She inspected it closely smiling at the delicate fondant flowers that decorated the ornately designed cake.  Proudly she turned the cake making sure the fondant was smooth almost like a glassy frozen lake and all the decorations were as flawless as they could be.    

Her silent appraisal of her work was interrupted as her friend and business partner Anthony stood in the doorway. "Tell me you didn't stay up all night here working on this?"

Marie looked over and rolled her eyes grinning at him. "Oh shush it's worth it." She shot back as she turned her attention back to her creation before her.  He shook his head at her and moved over to the side of the marble counter top and helped her lift the nearly 200 pound cake over onto the rolling tray to be taken out to the refrigerated delivery van. She sighed in relief as she watched Anthony and her other workers, Rhianne and Rebecca pull it out to the truck. She grinned to herself and turned and walked into the back through a short hallway and into her personal office that held her work computer and files. She clicked on the computer and checked her email from her business website. A few moments later she checked her email seeing a new message.

Hey hon, how've things been? I'm sorry it's been so late in getting back to your email.
Work has been crazy busy lately with all the contracts I've been getting. I'm actually
going to be stopping by in good ole NYC soon on my way to Ibiza for the holidays on a
shoot there. I won't be getting back until February. Anyways I really hope to see you
when I'm in town next week. Write back soon!

Marie grinned widely at the message and replied back glad that her friend from LA would be coming to stop by in the midst of her travels. At that moment Rebecca walked back into the back office. She grinned at her. "What's up Bec?" She asked noting her friend's concerned yet curious expression.

"Nothing much just wanted to see if you were going to finally take some time off for the holidays." Rebecca asked continuing her curious glance at her friend and boss.

Marie rolled her dark brown eyes and untied her hair from the back of her head letting her dark espresso hair cascade around her shoulders. "Becca...seriously this is always our busiest time of year I couldn't possibly take a break now."

"Why not, it's not like you need to be here to run things. Hello, you do have us that can handle the load. You taught me everything I know about cake design and decoration and I'd like to show you that I can hold my own."

Marie grinned widely at her for her ambition and willingness to prove how much of an asset to the business she really could become. "You're sure you want to take on that much responsibility? I mean say if I decide to go, would you be able to handle a crisis situation?"

"Yes. I've handled them before; remember when that hotel housekeeping staff ate an entire wedding cake on us the night before a wedding. Who was there to help you get another one done in time? Oh...that'd be me." She replied taking a seat and laughing a little as she remembered the stress of that day.  It had shocked them both that the staff had decided to indulge in something that was clearly marked to be off limits. But then again Murphy's law always came into play with anything Marie tried to do.

Marie sighed, she knew she should take some time off. Looking down at her hands, when was the last time she'd gotten a manicure or even a massage? It'd been far too long to count when she'd actually taken the time to do something purely for herself. "Well if I do decide to go on vacation you'll be the first to know I promise." She said hoping that would be enough to diffuse the conversation for the time being. For the rest of the day she spent working on the next design sketches for an intricate quincenera cake for a friend of Becca's family. She tapped her pencil willing her creative juices to begin to flow.

Not being able to come up with more than just the basic form and structure of the cake she sighed in frustration. She set her pencil and sketchpad down standing up. Deciding on going to clear her head with a walk through her favorite bookstore. She went over shedding her white chef jacket and pulled on her thick black Marc Jacobs wool trench coat. She walked out to the front seeing Anthony Rhianne and Becca all standing there, Becca on the phone with a client, Rhianne rolling some freshly made fondant out.

"Where ya off to?" Anthony asked with a curious grin.

Marie smiled and took a breath. "Just going to the bookstore you know..." She said waving her hand near her forehead. "To clear my head maybe get some inspiration on that Quincenera cake."

Anthony gave her a sympathetic grin and smiled, "I'll hold down the fort for you while you're gone, if anyone calls I'll take a message for you."

She nodded and bit her lower lip. "Thanks hon I shouldn't be very long." She said walking to the door holding her jacket closed as she opened the door feeling the blustery cold wind begin to bite at her skin. She bundled up and walked out braving the freezing New York air and walked down the street and around the block looking up at the large high-rise buildings that surrounded the already congested streets. She smiled to herself and looked ahead seeing her favorite bookstore. She pushed open the door with a ring of the bell attached smiling to the clerk at the front register as she made her way through the store towards the back. She perused the shelves taking a book off of one and thumbed through its crisp pages gingerly skimming the paragraphs finding some interesting sentences here and there.

Once she had made her selections she walked over to the cookbook section and grinned at all the various books not seeing any new ones she'd yet to purchase. On her way over to the register she stopped by the travel section picking up a book or two and looking at the various locations that were in stark contrast to the densely populated island of Manhattan that she called home. She wondered if she really even wanted to take a chance, experience someplace new someplace she had yet to discover geographically and maybe even within herself at the same time. She remembered back to when she was in pastry school and how she always had jumped at every single chance to travel around the world figuring she was young and probably would never get the opportunity to ever again. Setting the book back on the shelf then heading to the register to make her purchases she thought maybe it was indeed time to discover some new territory for her and see where it would lead her.

---

Meanwhile almost three thousand miles away on the other coast Nick stood listening to his sister rant and rave about his recent string of failed blind dates. "Nick come on seriously you work all the time and then you come home to more work. When are you going to take time out for yourself?" Angel asked concerned for her own brother's sanity. Ever since he'd decided to jump back into the dating scene after his last relationship had ended tragically she'd tried to help by setting him up on blind dates. Unfortunately for him and those dates he still compared everything they did, said or wore to the one who had stolen his heart.

"I do things for myself. This whole dating thing is something I'm doing for myself isn't it?" He reasoned feeling like he was trying to convince himself even more so than his endearing yet meddlesome sister.

"No you're doing it because of other reasons and you know it mister. You think they need a mother and really they just need positive female influences like their aunties have been to them since everything happened."

Nick grimaced he hated thinking of how he had to rely on his sisters to be the female presences in his own daughters' lives. The one place that should and always have been reserved for their mother. But she's not here anymore...He thought to himself in bitter grief. He'd come to terms with losing Anna and accepted that she was gone but it still stung just to even think of what she was missing from their children's growth and development. He knew he couldn't blame her after all she'd done nothing wrong but be in the wrong place at the wrong time. He turned and looked over his shoulder seeing his youngest, three-year-old, Livie, napping on his bed that morning. His grief stricken expression softened and he grinned a little. He'd always be grateful to Anna, the woman who'd not only loved him during the most tumultuous years of his life but also committed her life to his and gave him the two most beautiful little girls he ever laid eyes on.

"I don't care Angel...Maybe I'm just not ready yet for a serious relationship I mean come on my last one ended pretty abruptly." Nick reasoned as he turned back and gripped the railing to the balcony of his home in Malibu.

"Nick you do realize that Anna would want you to be happy. It's been two years you are doing the right thing by moving on." She reassured as she continued to pack her bags for her trip. "It's not like I'm asking you to contemplate marriage with these girls. Just you know give ‘em a chance. Get to know them, let them get to know you."

"I'm a single father and a musician. I can't really let them get to know me very well without the D-a-d-d-y title getting a lot of attention."

"So don't talk about my nieces. Talk to them about you're personality, talk to them about them. I know it's been quite a while since you've been out in the dating world and all but seriously Nick girls like to see that you're interested in them. Even if you have to fake it a little bit. You used to be a huge player and..."

"And that changed. Anna changed me and hell I have daughters now I can't imagine just randomly sleeping with women now that I have two little girls to take care of it's just so frustrating and confusing you know?"

"Why is it so confusing?" She countered as she zipped up her toiletries bag.

Nick shrugged to himself and heard the balcony door creak open. "Angel I gotta go I have a munchkin that's awake." He said closing his eyes. He hated to admit it but he really did need a woman around, if only just to help raise his two very precocious daughters. He rang off with his sister and turned seeing Livie standing there in her lavendar pajama top and pants rubbing her eyes from the intense sunlight that hit her newly awakened eyes and her wavy white-blonde locks sticking every which way. "Hey dollface." He said making her grin at the term of endearment. "Sleep well?"

She nodded and walked over to him hugging his leg. Nick grinned at her and lifted her up onto his hip. "Who was that on the phone Daddy?"

"Aunt Angel. She's getting ready to go to Ibiza for a modeling contract she got." Nick explained simply as he turned them to look out to the ocean.

"I'm gonna miss her." She whispered and laid her head on her father's shoulder. Nick rested his head against hers as well and used his other arm to rub her back. Livie sighed and then moved to look at her father's face. He grinned at her adoringly as she messed with his hair. "Daddy why do you have hair on your face?" She asked continuing her very inquisitive streak that she'd recently fallen into.

He chuckled and carried her into the house. "Well missy, daddy's very lazy and decided he didn't want to shave so the hair is growing."

"I don't shave...why don't I have any?" She asked with her bright blue eyes wide and full of curious wonder.

Nick sighed and grinned at her trying to find something to say that would satisfy her voracious curiousity. "Well Liv it's because you're a girl. Girls don't get much hair on their faces and what hair they do we normally can't see it."

"Oh...Okay." Livie replied with a grin as he carried her down the stairs seeing his oldest, five-year-old, Jo, standing in the kitchen cracking eggs into a bowl.

Nick set Livie down on the floor letting her run over to her older sister and pull up a barstool at the island counter to watch her. "Since when did you learn how to crack eggs open?" He asked as he gave Jo a kiss to the top of her light brown hair. She looked up and smiled widely at him.

"No where special..." She said simply. That statement had become her answer to anything her mother had taught her. He sighed figuring it was her coping mechanism kicking in to protect herself from remembering her mom.

Nick gave her a look and helped with the cooking and whisking the eggs to make an omelette for the three of them to share. "Joanna Danielle did you mother teach you how to do that?" He asked giving her a look that demanded honesty.

Jo rolled her hazel eyes, the same color that her mother's were. "Yeah..." She said chewing on her lower lip. She was only three when her mother had abruptly left their lives and it stung her the most that she had died. It wasn't that she wasn't close to her father, but in some ways she was always closer to her mother than anyone in the entire family. Now that she was the oldest female in the house, at the ripe old age of five she decided to make sure that her father wouldn't feel the pain as badly as he might be without her help.

"It's okay to miss her you know. I miss her all the time." Nick said simply trying to provoke at least a little bit of a reaction out of his daughter. Ever since Anna had died two years ago he'd watched as Jo took to being his protector and at the same time tried to become the perfect daughter.

Jo gave her dad a look and shrugged, "You miss her?"

Nick nodded, "Every day. It's okay to be sad about losing her. But at the same time, she'd want you to be happy at the time we had with her too." He said ruffling her long stick straight brown hair. He grinned at her making her smile at him and tossed everything into the hot skillet both girls ooh-ing at the loud sizzle the food made as it hit the searing hot pan. He finished up the omelette dishing it up in threes and taking a seat at the island counter. They ate silently for a moment until a rather loud belch emanated from Livie.

"Liv! Ew!" Jo shrieked in disgust.

Nick set his fork down and laughed. "Nice one Liv." He remarked patting her shoulder. He thought it was the funniest thing in the world that the youngest of his daughters would take to his less than socially appropriate attributes.

"Your turn Daddy!" Livie said wanting to giggle at her father.

Nick rolled his eyes and gave her a look but instantly melted by the sweet grin that played upon her lips. "Alright, alright..." He said as he began swallowing air and then let out a small burp to start making Jo roll her eyes at him. He gave her a look knowing that if it got loud enough she'd break her grossed out expression in favor of a grin. He let out a loud belch that made Jo's face crumble into a fit of laughter.

"Again!" Livie shrieked then belched again trying to out do her father.

"No I think we're good, you two need to get ready for school."

Livie rolled her eyes and sighed hating to have to go to preschool. If it weren't for the massive social interaction it gave her she'd hate going entirely. Jo, on the other hand was quite the little bookworm for a kindergartener she was always bringing something home for Nick to frame or place on the refrigerator proudly. It astounded him how much she had taken after her mother, excelling in school to the point where her teachers were recommending that she'd reach first grade in no time at all.

Clearing their dishes into the sink, Nick shuffled then them up the stairs and got them both ready and all together and into his truck. He did love their usual rides to school, he wasn't like most parents who kept CD's of The Wiggles or Sesame Street readily available. Instead the girls got their own education on the way to school each day. He grinned as he heard their voices loudly yelling the lyrics, or at least what they thought were the lyrics to Hungry Like The Wolf.

After dropping them off at the school, bidding farewell to them for the day he sighed and made the 20-minute drive home. Once he arrived home he walked up the stairs and sat on his unmade bed. He looked to his nightstand seeing a picture of himself and Anna, from their wedding day. He'd been completely scared about being a husband at the age of 22 let alone becoming a father. He and Anna had dated for a year previous to their wedding and had planned on tying the knot eventually; only Jo had come along to speed up the process. After they married the two spent four blissfully happy years together before everything came crashing down one windy afternoon in late November.

"You're going to the store after you get done with class right?" He asked hoping that she'd have the time after her meetings and her classes to go food shopping for the rest of the week.

Anna grinned into the phone and sighed contentedly. "Yes babe seriously you worry too much!" She retorted making him snicker at her. "Yes I'll get everything we need, I'm sorry about not getting it before, just this midterm is driving me up the wall."

Nick chuckled and looked over to the living room where Jo and Livie were playing with blocks. "Well you're the smartass that decided to go back to school."

Anna giggled a little and sighed at him, "Yes I know. Just think though once I have my degree I'll be able to tutor the girls when you go on tour in January so we can travel together as a family." She replied, knowing that touring as a family is what he loved even more than touring itself. It allowed him to really bond with the girls on his days off and take them to see all the places he'd seen in his lifetime. It also let them see their father in his glory, with screaming fans and blaring music at every show. Even though he kept them well hidden from the fans, opting to not expose the girls at such a tender age. The fans did occasionally catch a glimpse of them but really nothing more. The past nine months they'd spent on tour had been certainly a whirlwind adventure. Between all the press and sight seeing on his days off.

He grinned at her statement and looked over to the girls again. "You're positively evil you know that?"

"Why because I tamed the infamous Nick Carter and got knocked up?"

"Yes exactly." He joked back biting the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. "So when will you be home?"

Anna glanced at her watch noting the time and the number of hours it would be until she could return home again. "I'll be home tonight, probably for a late dinner...Let the girls eat without me I don't know how long my meetings and my classes are going to last today."

"Okay, so I guess that means pizza tonight." He said with his tone crescendo to allow the girls to hear him. A collective "yay!" came from the living room making both Nick and Anna chuckle at the response.

"Wow there is no denying that their your kids babe." She remarked into the phone. She saw the other students begin to file into the lecture hall and got up gathering her bag.

"Hey hon I gotta go I'll see you tonight?"

"I'll be here. Love you..."

"I love you too. See you tonight."

Those had been the last words they had exchanged. Nick laid back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling sighing in sadness. He hated that he still missed her to this day. He knew he'd never fully get over losing her but he'd come to terms with her physical absence over the course of the previous two years, fully immersing himself into the dual role of parenting. He'd not only gotten Jo out of toddler age and gotten Livie completely potty trained on his own with minimal advice from the friends of his who indeed were parents. It was definitely a lot to take in all at once, in one night he became not only a widow but both a mother and a father to the girls. It wasn't something he took to very easily but as time passed and with the support of his band mates and family he had been able to find somewhat of a balance between career and family. Now if only he could bring himself to having a proper date with a woman without automatically thinking of what she'd be like with his children.

He figured it was his old protective instinct coming through to keep any one who was less than worthy from his children. He knew it was also in part, his own defense mechanism to keep women away from his own heart as well finding any minor fault to be quite the deal breaker. It had to change, this he definitely knew. But how, that was the question at hand.