Chapter Twenty-One: Poker Face
"I wanna hold em' like they do in Texas Plays. Fold em' let em' hit me raise it baby stay with me (I love it). Luck and intuition play the cards with Spades to start. And after he's been hooked I'll play the one that's on his heart..." - (Poker Face by Lady Gaga)
Marie sighed heavily as she got to the car service. She smiled at the note he'd left explaining once more that he'd had an early morning meeting and felt terrible about not being able to pick her up to make the trek to the airport together. It was a thoughtful gesture to send a car for her when he couldn't be there himself. Most guys would have just called and said to take a cab.
This wasn't something she as used to, being doted on. Although it was a chivalrous gesture that most women should come to expect from the man they're romantically involved with, she definitely wasn't used to it. The men she normally dated were the type who didn't even have time to consider such a gesture let alone do it. Just one more quality to add to the already long her list: he was thoughtful.
She watched LA fly by her as she made her way down the streets and already congested freeway to Los Angeles International airport. It didn't take her long to find the terminal, gate, check in and find the rather large crowd of people she was flying with. Joanna and Livie shrieked and ran over to her screaming her name. Marie grinned happily and knelt in front of them. "We're so happy you're coming with us!" Jo said excitedly. "Are you going to go to the circus with us?"
"I believe I am." Marie playfully replied ruffling both girls hair. She stood when she saw Nick make his way over. He took her two bags putting them on a chair and wrapped his arm around her.
"So sorry about not being there to pick you up. We had a meeting with management this morning, short notice you know?" He explained meekly as they joined the group.
Marie shrugged, "It's no big deal it was nice of you to send a car service though. Definitely didn't expect that so thank you."
"No problem I felt horrible so it was the least I could do."
"You realize ninety-nine-point-nine percent of guys would have just told me to catch a cab or drive myself?" She mused making him grin a little.
"Yeah I know, I didn't feel right about that, it's a jerky thing to do. Especially when you've promised to go and pick the girl up. If some girl did that to me I would be pissed off." Marie laughed at his expression and wrapped her arm around his waist as he squeezed her shoulders placing a kiss to her temple.
"So we figure we'd do some shopping during the day tomorrow and maybe take the kids on a couple of the roller coasters and arcades down the strip." Leighanne suggested and Marie smiled.
"Sounds like fun to me." Marie replied smiling back at Leighanne. She was nervous about this entire trip. She knew slightly that the others would be paying very close attention to her reactions and actions and making their minds up whether they liked her or not. It wasn't that they weren't completely kind to her, they were, just she had a feeling they were leery of her. It made her nervous to think that one wrong move and they'd throw her to the proverbial wolves. And that was the one thing she definitely didn't want to happen.
---
Marie stared in complete awe as they made their way down the strip. The buildings, and the bright lights that were off in the harsh light of day. The sky was insane to her. The large expanse of exquisite white blue sky that literally arced over the horizon astounded her. She'd never seen the sky light up like this. In New York you only saw brief scattering patches of blue that were muddied with brown haze. The sky in LA even wasn't as brightly lit as this. The thick smog haze of Los Angeles covered much of it except for at places like the beach.
"What are you thinking about?" Nick whispered as he leaned into her side in the back of the large van. Marie tore her gaze away from the sky to look at him before glancing around to the others in the van. She felt a little self conscious. Not only because her sort of maybe boyfriend's daughters were in the van, but also two of his bandmates and their significant others.
"Just the sky. How funny it is that the one constant in this world looks so completely different from place to place."
"What do you mean?"
"Well in parts of Europe the blue is deeper, richer I guess. Out here it's washed out, almost white blue. Back home in New York I'll be lucky to see the sky on any given day when it isn't covered in smog, steam, or clouds. The sky scrapers also take up much of the view as well. And here it's just so light. So open." She marveled turning her attention back to the passing buildings beneath the vast expanse of sky.
She was silent for the rest of the car ride, which bothered Nick to some degree. He was dying to know what was going on inside her head. He needed to know if this was too much for her. It was beginning to feel like it was. The anxiety was rolling off of her in waves despite how calm she tried to portray herself as. He sighed, this was a mistake. He cursed Leighanne for even bringing up the subject of Vegas. He could have gone, and been back within 36 hours and nothing could have been awkward. But now it seemed, thanks to Leighanne's insistence, that this could very well drive a wedge between them.
Of course he also didn't want to take the blame where it should go: squarely on his shoulders. He said a lot of things in the past few days he really shouldn't have. He should have known that saying he was falling in love with her, being so open, so vulnerable could very well scare her off.
Once inside the hotel Nick left his daughters for a moment letting them get settled in their room of the two-room suite. As soon as they were alone Nick dropped everything he was holding and went to Marie. She stared at him curiously wondering what exactly was on his mind. "I have waited four hours since I saw you this morning to do this." He remarked before pressing his lips to hers. She immediately closed her eyes and lost herself to the kiss with a surrendering groan.
His hands found her hips as hers went to his shoulders steadying herself against the heady feeling of the kiss. Their lips danced in complete synchronization parting together, melding perfectly as they stood in the middle of the hotel suite. It wasn't until two tiny giggles registered in their consciousnesses that they finally pulled away from each other mouths swollen and red, breaths labored and embarrassment flooding their emotions.
Marie pulled herself away from him and her face flushed in embarrassment and shame. She didn't want his daughters to find out about their relationship this way. Catching them kissing rather passionately was not the way to break it to these two little girls that their father was dating. "Daddy, why did you kiss Marie?" Jo asked with curiosity on her face.
"Yeah, Marie aren't you worried bout catchin' cooties?" Livie added making Marie bite her lip to stifle her chuckle.
"Boys have cooties phase?" She asked looking over at Nick.
"Pretty much."
Marie chuckled and Nick turned his attention to his daughters. "You know spying isn't nice little misses." He chided as they knelt on the sofa leaning on the back of it.
"We weren't spying. We just walked out of our room and you were kissing." Jo replied very matter of factly.
"She has you there." Marie replied and Nick sighed. He hated to admit it but his five year old daughter outwitted him.
"Even still it's not nice to stare."
"Are you and Marie boyfriend and girlfriend?" Livie asked. Nick grinned a little seeing that she'd finally understood the subject of human pair bonding.
He glanced at Marie and she shrugged. "Um well, that all depends on what you two would like to call us." He replied figuring letting the girls come to their own conclusions would be the best scenario.
"Are you in love?" Jo asked stunning Nick completely. Now there was a conclusion he most certainly hadn't been expecting.
"Umm well I don't know if I'd say that just yet. But I like her."
"And I like him too." Marie added leaning on the sofa as well. "Is it okay if I like him?" She asked. She didn't want to admit it, but the acceptance and approval of these two little girls were the most important thing to her. More important than her shop, her friends. More important than even his band mates approval or what her family might think of Nick. Nothing was more important than the opinions of Jo and Livie.
"Yeah!" Livie chimed in with a grin. "I like you too Marie." She said declaring herself in normal blunt way.
Jo grinned and nodded simply. Marie figured that it would be harder for Joanna since she had conscious memory of her mother more than she assumed Livie had. But the fact that both of them seemed to approve of her and Nick ‘liking' each other made everything seem sort of surreal to her. It's a hard thing to do, to be a single parent and try to find love again especially with such young impressionable children. She couldn't help but wonder what would happen to them, yet again, if things didn't work out between them.
And now, having their unwitting approval she wondered just how much her departure from their lives in just a few short weeks would hurt these three people who had come to mean so much to her in such a short time.
---
"So Marie," Leigh began with a grin.
"Yeah?"
"How are you? I mean really?"
Marie took a breath and looked between the two women in front of her. There were so many different answers to that question for her right now. She was calm, overwhelmed, frustrated, happy. All of her conflicting emotions were really beginning to mess with her head to the point where nothing remotely made sense on her own. One thing that did make sense however was what she felt like when she was with Nick. He made her feel happy, whole, and loved.
But the biggest question of all - did she love him?
That truly was the biggest thing on her mind next to of course her growing love and adoration for his daughters. She felt herself becoming so fiercely protective of them that it scared her that such sweet little girls could provoke such a maternal instinct in her.
"I think I'm okay. Better than that maybe. It's difficult to wrap my head around everything."
Both women grinned at her widely. "Don't worry honey, stick with us and we'll take good care of you. I remember when I was first introduced to their life, we both got introduced during two tumultuous times in the band's history so this is actually a nice time for you to come in. Everyone's grown up, matured in a lot of ways. Nick especially."
"What do you mean?"
"Well I'm sure he's told you he wasn't always the most responsible person. It's why I'm kind of grateful of those two little ones. They gave him the wake up call he needed in his life. As much as I didn't get along with their mother I am grateful that she gave him those two."
"You didn't like Anna?" Marie asked, truly astounded that someone hadn't liked her.
Leigh piped up then trying to politely explain in vague terms. "Well neither of us wanted to trust her. Because they were both so young and then she ends up pregnant. For a while I think we thought the worst of her. But she proved us wrong by being so good to the three of them."
Leighanne sighed, "I kind of regret being such a bitch to her in the beginning. I'm sure it scared the hell out of her. And it certainly made things between Nick and Brian tense for quite sometime."
Marie chewed on her lip a little bit and glanced at them. "Why are you telling me this?"
"I can tell you're nervous. And not just by the way you've been sipping on the same glass of Merlot for the past thirty minutes." Leigh mused with a grin.
Marie glanced down and the glass seeing it still had almost half of the red liquid still in it that it did a half hour ago. "It's not so much nervousness I guess. Maybe just overwhelmed?"
Leighanne grinned. "If it makes you feel any better that's why we brought you out with us to lunch after hanging with the kids all morning playing games and such."
Marie gave her a perplexed expression in return. They'd asked her to lunch because they knew she was overwhelmed with everything? The morning had been wonderful, they'd taken the kids to the largest arcade on the strip. She'd taught Joanna how to play Dance Dance Revolution and helped Livie win at the car racing games. She'd had a blast bonding with the girls and with Leigh and Leighanne. But now she was a little concerned as to why they had invited her out knowing she was feeling like this.
"It's because we wanted to let you know we understand on some level. We've been there, getting into this social group is intimidating at first. And then of course you have the added stress of him being a single dad."
"So you're saying-,"
"We're saying that we like you Marie. And more importantly we can see the intensity between you and him. We know you feel just as strongly as he does."
Marie took a large gulp of the wine and sat back in the chair shaking her head at herself. "Am I really that obvious?"
"'Fraid so honey. It's okay he can't really see it himself yet. So you have a little time."
"He told me he's falling in love with me. That he thinks he's already there."
Both women exchanged a glance and grinned. "Remind me to buy something really nice for Angel would Leigh?" Marie looked at them both completely perplexed. Leighanne saw this confusion and grinned even more widely. "If it wasn't for Angel I don't think you two would have met yet. And this comes at a perfect time for him."
"Why do you say that?"
"Well when you go back to New York, he'll be going on tour. So it's not like you're leaving him and he won't have anything to keep him distracted to help the separation. And then he can always visit you in New York, hell the boys record there all the time."
"Not to mention the record company meetings and such."
"Yes, not to mention that."
Marie held up her hand, "Wait, we haven't even discussed what's going on between us let alone what we're going to do when I leave."
"Isn't it pretty obvious he's going to want to keep things going?"
"Long distance relationships are rough."
"They are, Brian and I had one for a long time while he toured."
"What did you do?"
"I eventually would come out for a couple weeks at a time to spend time with him, and when he came home he would spend time with me." Marie nodded at Leighanne's explanation and let everything sink in. Both women were adamant in their assurances that Nick was truly serious about her. But she didn't want to take their word for it. She knew in her heart though that they were probably right. He had been opening himself up to her in ways that most men never did unless they found someone they were truly serious about.
Becca's husband had told her that once. That a man normally doesn't emotionally open up unless he's truly serious about a woman. What's pride worth when you've found someone you could see yourself with years down the road? He'd said. She sighed and looked out off the patio of the restaurant watching the pedestrians and cars pass them by wondering what Nick felt of his pride at that moment.
---
Nick laughed hard as he watched Livie chase Baylee around. It was so endearing to see how the three kids interacted with each other. He'd figured that they'd be tired after spending the entire morning with the girls out and about, shopping, playing games and such. He loved that Marie had been so open to spending time with them without him. It made him all the more confident that she was really worth all the trouble that he knew they were in for.
He felt terrible that he hadn't discussed it with her that he would be going on tour, half the world away, just a few days after she would make her return to New York. It wasn't something he liked to dwell on. The separation was not going to be pleasant from his side of things. He was growing too accustomed to her constant presence in his life that it was going to be ridiculously hard to go cold turkey.
He supposed he was glad though. The tour and the girls would definitely provide welcome distractions from the empty feeling he was sure he was going to have to endure without Marie by his side. He had told himself several times now that he couldn't ask her to join him on tour. She wasn't like Anna. She was independent and had her own life to live in New York, a successful business to run and friends to see. He wasn't used to being with someone so entirely different than what he experienced in his past. Marie didn't need him the way his previous loves had. Anna needed him in far more ways than any of her predecessors.
She'd needed him to be a husband, a father. Far more of a man than he was even emotionally capable at that point in his life. He'd grown into it of course with time. Becoming the man that now was completely ready for a mature, stable relationship. A relationship he wanted desperately with Marie. Long distance or not he didn't care, just for the chance to call her his. To belong to someone like Marie and have her belong to him.
It was unnerving that she didn't need him in the ways he was used to. He was used to a woman needing to be provided for, to be taken care of in all aspects, physical, emotional, financial and the like. So this, to have a woman who didn't need him for anything but his companionship - even that he wasn't sure if she needed it more than wanted him around - made everything completely unnervingly fresh and new for him. It was like falling in love for the first time. All the trite clichés in the world could be used to describe how he felt yet they wouldn't explain it right. This experience was something entirely other and he was sure that he didn't want it to end any time soon.
---
Marie exited the bathroom as she was hooking a silver dangle earring through her earlobe. Nick looked up from his position on the bed while fiddling with his watch. "Wow." He mouthed taking in her sleek form. She was wearing a flowing sparkly silver top that had thin straps and made a seductive ‘v' between her breasts. She grinned as he traced her body with his eyes seeing the tasteful black pencil skirt and Mary Jane stilettos to match. Her hair was down in loose curls and her skin looked so soft that he decided that she must have bathed in silk.
"It's not too much is it?" She'd hoped when she'd packed the outfit in the first place that she'd be able to use it in the clubs of LA. However she had yet to really go ‘club hopping' per se since her arrival in California. It had been truly ages since she and Becca had been out in the city to go for a girls night of drinks and dancing so she promised herself that she would have enough fun for the both of them since Becca wouldn't be there.
"Definitely not. You look fantastic." She beamed at him as he spoke the words, his eyes still completely glued to how the outfit hung deliciously to and off her curves.
"Thanks this is what I would wear to a club in New York. I didn't know if the club attire was different out here or something stupid like that."
"Even if it was you'd still put every woman to shame." He replied in earnest as she chuckled and turned to the mirror across from the bed grabbing her bracelets and pulling them on. He gasped as soon as her back was turned seeing that the top hung in a tantalizing open ‘v' shape all the way down to the small of her back stopping just before it met the top of her skirt. "Dear God woman..." He muttered making her laugh yet again.
"What?" She asked knowing already what he was shocked at. She had to admit she kind of loved breaking out her club clothes that she so very rarely ever used. It was nice to know someone appreciated the way she looked in them.
"You're really trying to kill me." He said as he came up behind her placing a kiss to her bare silky shoulder.
"No I'm not." She said innocently trying to play along with their flirtations.
"Yes you are. Looking positively dangerous in this outfit when I can't touch you for most of the night." He pouted a little convinced that she was being completely unfair to him by looking so touchable when he wouldn't be able to be near her for much of the night due to the performance.
"No if I were trying to kill you I'd tell you that I have nothing on underneath the top and skirt." She replied grinning deviously.
He froze for a moment, his grip tightening on her waist. "See, you are trying to kill me."
"No just reminding you of what you can have later."
"Evil." He replied silently thanking God he'd had the foresight to have the girls have a slumber party with Baylee. Originally he figured the girls would need someone to keep them entertained while he did his obligatory performance and appearance at an after party. He was happy to have them stay with Baylee and his nanny. He found it hilarious sometimes that Baylee had a nanny, but really she was only ever utilized for events where Leighanne was also invited to attend. Even though he may have been caught kissing Marie by his daughters, he certainly didn't want them becoming aware of what consenting adults in a budding relationship did behind closed doors.
"You love it." She countered back at him bringing him back to their conversation.
"I truly do." He replied grinning widely at her. Even though it was a difficult thing for the two of them to do - to balance career, the girls, and their blossoming romance - he never felt more calm or more sure of his ability to do so before now.
---
Marie grinned as Nick handed her another cocktail, her third of the evening. She still couldn't quite believe that this was the same person who not an hour beforehand had been performing, singing and dancing on stage. Somehow she couldn't quite connect the two people in her mind. The confident goofy stage persona who knew exactly how to work a crowd of hungry fans with the humble, kind single parent she'd grown so accustomed to in the past weeks.
When she did tear her eyes away from him and his friends on the stage she looked to Leigh and Leighanne who were staring at their respective husbands with adoration. How did they reconcile the musician with the man? Was it even possible? Marie felt extremely lucky to have gotten to know the personal much more intimate personality of Nick before ever seeing him perform. Even though she had a former teeny bopper sister, she never once had attended a concert or watched a video despite how hard her sister had tried.
"So how'd you like the concert? Be honest now, I know pop music isn't exactly your thing." He remarked curiosity showing plainly on his face.
"I'm a little star-struck right now to be honest." She replied and he grinned warmly at her and placed his hand over her fabric-covered thigh. "But other than that I have to say I'm impressed."
"Really?" He asked feeling a thrill shoot up his spine making his head swim a little, then again the woozy feeling could be from the drinks.
"Yeah and how you got the bouncer to find me and get me over to you by midnight was very smooth. You played well." She joked remembering how she felt at first intimidated when approached by the large bouncer. But soon after she was escorted to a dark corner of the club just a few feet off the way to the stage, hidden from the crowd's peering eyes she realized that he'd planned this. Just seconds before midnight Nick had disappeared off stage and she felt a little disappointed that he was going to miss the opportunity to ring in the New Year with his adopted brothers. However that errant thought quickly dissipated as he'd found her in that little corner and kissed her to within an inch of her sanity and just in time for the clock to strike twelve.
"I try. Believe it or not before I became a dad I was quite smooth with women." He replied reminding her that once upon a time he hadn't always had his daughters and had been quite the ladies man.
Marie chuckled and leaned in, "I don't find that hard to believe." She flirted back and he squeezed her leg just above her knee.
"What did you think of the performance though? I'm curious about that." He asked feeling immediately stupid, like an attention hungry moron. He wanted to know her opinion though, since the music he prided himself in making wasn't exactly in her musical tastes.
"I said I was impressed didn't I?" She said with a smile. "I am, truly. I may just have to call my sister for all her old tapes of you guys performing and all that jazz over the years. I can definitely see why she as such a huge fan."
"Ugh don't call her for the old tapes, those can be embarrassing." He replied flushing in embarrassment at some of the performances, and interviews when he was much younger, and much less mature.
"Oooh now I'm totally going to do it, just to see that blush!"
Nick chuckled and took the cocktail glass from her hand placing it on the table in front of her before standing up holding out his hand. Marie looked at him almost dumbfounded for a moment but quickly caught on when he nodded towards the dance floor. She grinned as he led her out into the packed club. In the short time they'd known each other, they'd never once danced together.
The sheer amount of people on the dance floor ensured that they would be dancing very closely. He smiled down at her as he wrapped his hands around her slipping to hold her hips under the flowing silver top. They danced closely, even closer than what the tightly packed floor demanded, neither of them speaking, and not needing to either. He smiled to himself as she turned in his embrace smiling the whole time as they moved to the pulsing beat emanating from the speakers. He had to stifle a groan when she rolled her hips into his. He hadn't danced with a woman in a long time. He had tried on his blind dates but most of the time the either didn't have rhythm or they wore the shortest skirts and thought it was ‘hot' to bend over and very blatantly press their backsides into his groin.
Once upon a time that would have been completely hot to him. He guessed with age and maturity that it was more ridiculous than anything to him now. But how Marie was dancing, close, slightly reserved but just giving enough to drive him insane was probably the hottest thing he'd seen or felt in a long time. He held her hip in one hand letting the other drift to her lower abdomen just under her naval. She grinned and turned her head to look at him showing that she was also enjoying dancing with him. She leaned her head back and he kissed her then not knowing what else he could do to get the desire in him out without causing quite the scene. He even shuddered when her hand gingerly touched his jaw as they continued into the kiss, still dancing not caring they were in the middle of a very crowded nightclub to share such an intimate moment.
When they finally broke the kiss she turned again and leaned up to his ear. "Let's get the hell out of here."
He grinned not needing to be told twice. He pulled her back over to the table letting her grab her clutch and handing her his jacket knowing it would be chilly outside. She grinned and noticed that the other couples had made their way out to the dance floor as well. She sighed in relief not knowing if she could handle the knowing glances and smirks if she had to say goodnight to them.
They made the short walk back to the hotel in record time, neither of them speaking as they sped walked hand-in-hand down the strip only exchanging a few glances and sly smiles at each other. He led her into the hotel and tapped his foot as they waited for the elevator and all through the subsequent ride up the floors to the suite. Marie chewed the inside of her bottom lip as she fought the urge to laugh. It seemed silly in a way how so many couples around the world were doing this exact same thing. Coming back from celebrating the New Year for their own private celebration.
They stumbled down the hallway and into the hotel room giggling at each other for their clumsiness brought about but their light buzzes. "Sh-shhh!" She stuttered. "Don't wake the girls." She whispered.
Nick grinned widely and pressed her against the wall. "They're in Baylee's room for the night. I thought we might want a little privacy when we got back."
"You are awfully cocksure Mr. Carter." She shot back making him grin and flush again.
"No, just hopeful." He replied leaning in and claiming her mouth the way he wanted to now that they were finally and blissfully alone.
Marie broke the kiss a moment later and pushed him back running her hand down his arm to his hand making the momentary disappointment disappear from his face. "Wouldn't want to dash those hopes now would we?" She smirked and began leading him to the bedroom.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry it took me so long to get this one out. I was stuck on it for a lil bit, but now I think I got the flow back. Enjoy!
Chapter End Notes:
HUGE thank you to darby for all her help on this chapter!
