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Howie gently picked up Nick’s hand and held it in his own. He didn’t know where Kevin was, or Brian and AJ for that matter, but right now he didn’t care. He sighed and squeezed Nick’s hand gently. “Come on Nicky, give me some sign you’re in there.” He said softly to the still figure on the bed. Of course, Nick didn’t reply. Nor did he move, other than the soft rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. Howie sighed again and listened to the steady beeping of the heart monitor, inwardly shuddering. He hated hospitals. Come to think of it though, he didn’t know anyone who didn’t. They were full of death and disease, and rarely a happy memory. For a place that was supposed to cure people, it sure was full of a lot of negativity and dispair.

“You seen AJ?” Kevin asked as he walked into the room.

“Nope.”

“Brian?”

“Nope.”

“The Doctor?”

“Nope.”

“You gonna say anything else?”

“Yeah.” Howie replied quietly, turning around to face Kevin. Kevin raised his eyebrows waiting for a response. “You need to let it out bro.”

“Huh?” Kevin asked. “Let what out?”

Howie frowned. “You know what I mean Kev. Don’t bottle it all up like you did last time. You know what happened then. You were a mess when it finally did all come out together. You don’t have to be strong for us.”

Kevin faltered slightly but recomposed himself. “I’m going to go and try to find the doctor. You gonna stay with him?” He asked, gesturing to Nick.

Howie sighed and nodded. “Yeah.”


************


Kevin rubbed a hand over his face as he left the room and turned down the corridor. He didn’t actually have to see the doctor he just didn’t want to stay in ‘that’ room. If you can’t see it, it doesn’t exist. Kevin’s mother had always told him when he’d gotten scared of things like ghosts as a child. So surely, Kevin thought, if he couldn’t see Nick lying on the hospital bed looking like death, Nick wasn’tlying on the hospital bed looking like death. It was as simple as that. Kevin looked up from his aimless wondering when he heard two familiar voices shouting. He broke into a run as he saw several hospital personal gathered around what was formerly AJ’s recovery room.

“What’s goi…” Kevin trailed when he saw inside the room. AJ was standing nose to nose with the doctor, gun in one of his flailing hands, screaming in his face. Brian was standing at the side shouting at AJ to calm down, and Kevin was surprised to see how calm the doctor looked like.

“I SWEAR to GOD!” AJ screamed taking a step back from the doctor and pacing in a small circle before he turned to the door. “Get the FUCK back.” He screamed at the security personal who were making their way inside. “We’re having a PRIVATE conversation.” As if to stress his point AJ waved the gun around a bit more, Brian visibly flinched, but the doctor didn’t even bat an eyelid. Kevin forced his way into the room.

“AJ--” He began, but AJ interrupted.

“Oh God. What do you want?”

“A clue as to what you’re doing would be nice.” Kevin replied, trying to remain calm.

“Brian knows what I’m doing. Explain it ‘Rok.”

“AJ, I have no idea what you’re doing. I walk down here and I see you waving the gun around like a madman.” Brian told him, trying to calm himself down. “Why don’t you put it down so we can talk?”

“Talk.” AJ spat in disgust. “I triedtalking.” He said as he narrowed his eyes at the doctor. “But apparentlyI was being absurd.”

The doctor took his chance to speak up. “You still are. If you shoot me, who’s going to perform the surgery, hmm? And if you shoot anyone else, then I’ll still refuse to do it.”

“Well if I shoot myself you can’t just let perfectly good organs go to waist can you?” AJ spat back. He didn’t like people making him look stupid.

Kevin and Brian’s jaws dropped. “What?” Kevin asked in shock.

“Alex, man… what are you talking about?” Brian asked, his stomach churning.

AJ turned to them, his face still hard. “What do you mean what am I talking about Bri?”

“AJ, why would you… Aje please don’t tell me you were gonna…” Brian trailed off, shaking his head. This was nothappening.

“I was gonna what Bri?” AJ asked sternly.

Brian gestured to the gun and rubbed his eyes. He could feel tears coming for the first time since the crash.

AJ swallowed as he looked at Brian trying not to cry. He turned to Kevin who looked sick. “Bri,” He began trying to get Brian to look at him. “I was gonna… It was so they could give mine to Nicky Bri.” He said, his own eyes beginning to water. “Brian please, I… it was for Nicky. I didn’t want it to be us without him, I’d rather it be you with no me.” He said as his own tears began to fall. Brian didn’t look up and he turned to Kevin, desperately seeking one of theirs approval.

Kevin shook his head again. “Put the gun down AJ. Nick’s gonna be fine.”

AJ’s face hardened. “No!” He shouted. “No he’s not!” He continued, his voice becoming hysterical. “Didn’t you hear the doctor? Didn’t you hear what he said? The chances of Nick getting a transplant at such short notice are like one in a million. It’s never gonna happen Kevin. NEVER! Someone has to makeit happen.” He chuckled slightly, his voice softening. “And you know me. Never was one to sit around and watch things happen.”

Brian looked up. “AJ, please. Put the gun down. If Nick dies, then it was God’s will.” He said, trying to get through to him.

“Oh shut the fuck up with your God’s will crap Brian. Do you think I care anymore? Look at all the shit ‘God’ has put us through! You’re surgery. Kevin’s Dad. Caroline. Fat ass Pearlman. Well God’s done enough, he can’t have Nicky as well.” AJ said angrily bringing the gun up to his head.

“AJ NO!” Kevin yelled out reaching forwards as AJ began to pull the trigger.

“I love you guys.”