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Author's Chapter Notes:
This was actually part of the fic for a while (in a somewhat different form) but it just didn't really fit, so I cut it. After I posted the fic, though, a friend and I tweaked it a bit and I wished I'd held off on posting so it could be included. Instead, I'll post it as a "deleted scene".

Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters from Scrubs. They’re just helping me get over my nearly fatal case of Writer’s Block. Promise I’ll return them when I’m done.

I also don't own the song lyrics for "Best Friend", which is by Harry Nilsson.
He jinxed me. Isn’t that something that…friends do to each other? Does that mean he thinks he’s my friend? My brow furrows so hard they begin to twitch a little bit. Are we…friends? I try to imagine us doing…friend-type things.

People let me tell you ‘bout my best friend

Dorkian and I are at a table surrounded by little kids. We’re all busy with construction paper, tape, scissors, and string. Making kites. Kites are fun, I guess.

Dorkian holds his completed kite up with a big grin on his face. It’s rather plain, but has a cute little drawing of me, himself, and…is that a unicorn? Huh. Doesn’t matter. Just wait until he sees mine!

He's a warm hearted person who'll love me till the end

A few minutes later, we’re in the park trying out our new creations. Me and the kids are running, kites flying high above us. But where’s Dorkian. Oh. That’s right!

“Eeeeeeeaaagulllllllle!” he cries from high above us, where he’s flying duct taped to my gigantic kite. My man-kite.

I let go of the string and the kids and I wave at him as he flies off.

People let me tell you bout my best friend

Or maybe we sit and watch a movie together. I sit beer in hand, laughing loudly as we watch the amazing scene on my little television. My arm is settled comfortably around his shoulders--

He's a one boy cuddly toy, my up, my down, my pride and joy

--as he sits low in the seat, peeking between his fingers in horror. Every now and then he flinches and whimpers. I think he may even be trembling slightly.

I always did love the Texas Chainsaw Massacre…

People let me tell you 'bout him he's so much fun

Perhaps we take a drive on a lovely Thursday afternoon. We borrow angry-doctor’s car and head for the country. Or maybe another country. Vancouver’s supposed to be nice this time of year.

We pass a Volkswagon Beetle.

“Slug bug!” Dorkian calls out and bumps his fist against my arm.

Whether we're talkin' man to man or whether we're talking son to son

We pass a semi.

“Slug truck!” I call and punch him hard in the jaw. He’s down for the count. I win.

Cause he's my best friend.

I probably shouldn’t have done that while he was driving though.


Yes he's my best friend.

Hm. Yeah. I don’t really think we’re friends.